Disordered: Anxiety Help

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Optimization OCD seems to be a thing. Actually, across a large number of anxious people, the pull to get recovery, sleep, food, fitness, and even your own feelings exactly right is pretty common. This week we're talking about the drive to optimize recovery ... or anything.

We talk about how "I should" is an anxious thought, why optimizing can mean sending yourself dozens of daily messages that you're not good enough as you are, and why "am I doing this right?" quietly treats some feelings as unwelcome. We...

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"Yeah, but it feels so bad." 

We hear it constantly, and this week we answer it directly. When panic, dread, or intrusive thoughts are at full volume, how do you practice willful tolerance? 

This is where courage enters the chat.

We talk about why waiting to feel less scared first keeps the cycle going, why brave people are usually terrified, and why fear and danger only feel linked when you have an anxiety disorder.

We also get into what co...

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Depersonalization and derealization (DPDR) can feel like not recognizing yourself in the mirror, or like living behind a pane of glass. This week, clinical psychologist Dr. Claudia Hallett joins us. She leads a specialist DPDR clinic in London and works with this condition full time.

We talk about why the experience is so hard to describe, and why that makes it fertile ground for catastrophic interpretation (“I’m losing my mind,” “I’ve broken my brain”). We get into how fear of the symptom keeps it front and center...

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Cognitive reframing in anxiety disorders is not about arguing with a thought until it loses. This week we take some of the most common phrases we hear in this community and look at them from a slightly different angle, without trying to prove them wrong or talk anyone into feeling safe.

We work through "I'm spiraling," "what if," "I'm back to square one," "I'm a burden to my family," and "what if I lose my progress," and talk about why a reframe you don't believe usually fails...

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175 episodes in, we're finally talking about medication. This week we get into  questions we hear constantly: if I take medication for my anxiety, does that mean I'm failing, or that I'll never really recover? Is medication cheating? Is it evil? Is there even an answer to these questions?

We talk about why these questions don't even really hold up, why medication combined with therapy is genuinely the gold standard for treating some anxiety disorders, and why using meds to get to a place where you c...

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Exposure isn't about proving you can sit in traffic, go to the supermarket, or make it through dinner with a friend. This week we talk about what exposure is actually for: practicing being uncomfortable, on purpose, without trying to fix or manage the feeling once it shows up.

We get into why the specific trigger, whether it's a bridge, a dentist's office, or a work presentation, barely matters compared to the discomfort underneath it, why reaching for certainty before you act keeps the cycle going, and why "...

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Once you're better, desensitized, and living your life again, a different feeling can show up: guilt over the years you lost, the plans you canceled, the people you pushed away. This week we talk about the urge to "make it right," and why that instinct deserves a closer look before you act on it.

We get into the difference between amends that actually help and rumination dressed up as responsibility, why some of that guilt simply has to be carried rather than fixed, and why the people...

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"I tried CBT and it didn't work" is a lot like saying "I tried food and it didn't work." CBT is a massive umbrella, and what you actually got depends heavily on which version of it you were given.

This week we break down what CBT for anxiety disorders actually looks like, from the older, content-driven approach built around thought challenging and thought replacement, to the third-wave, mindfulness and acceptance-based approach we rely on most, which is also CBT. We talk about why arguing someone out of...

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"Yeah, but." Two words that show up constantly in anxiety recovery, right after a win. You did the thing, and before it can count, the mind adds a condition: yeah, but I had my water bottle with me, yeah, but I still felt anxious, yeah, but a real doctor might find something the others missed.

This week we break down why "yeah, but" is one of anxiety's most effective tools, using misapplied logic, hypothetical scenarios, and stories that have nothing to do with you to keep the...

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Not everything is an anxiety disorder, but people pleasing and low self-esteem feed into it constantly. This week we talk about why the two overlap so heavily, and why learning to desensitize almost always requires putting yourself first, which can feel like the least safe thing in the world if pleasing people is how you've kept yourself safe.

We get into what people pleasing actually looks like, from constant scanning of other people's moods to guilt as a baseline feeling, why it's usually a learned response rather...

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This week we go through the most common mistakes people make while trying to recover from anxiety disorders, the ones that feel intuitive in the moment but end up keeping the cycle going.

We cover minimizing your own wins, thinking a place or situation is the actual exposure instead of the feeling underneath it, overestimating anxiety's importance while underestimating your own ability to handle it, and treating a thought that feels true as if it is true. We also talk about why trying to prevent the bad...

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Is distraction the same thing as running from your feelings? This week we answer a listener question about where that line actually is, and why the answer isn't as simple as always sit with it.

We talk about why attention plays such a big role in anxiety disorders, why getting caught up in your life is not automatically avoidance, and why the real question isn't am I distracting myself but what am I actually running from. We also get into why every...

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Anxiety recovery attracts an entire industry, and not all of it is safe. This week we talk about popular but dangerous anxiety cures, the methods and trends that get recommended constantly but that our community says actually made things worse.

We cover the trauma narrative that convinces people their panic and OCD are rooted in trauma stored in the body, nervous system regulation and vagus nerve claims built on debunked science, tapping and EFT marketed as evidence based when it isn't, coaching programs that...

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This is our anxiety latest questions and answers episode, where we go straight to the community and tackle real listener questions about panic disorder, OCD, GAD, and health anxiety.

We get into what to do when anxiety symptoms show up all day without fitting a specific diagnosis, why worrying about something you live with, like an aging house, does not count as exposure on its own, and how to tell the difference between doing real exposure work and quietly avoiding it. We also cover...

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Anxiety always seems to have a strategy for you, doesn't it?

This week we're picking that strategy apart and showing why it almost never holds up.

We're talking about:

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Everyone tells you to release tension. But if you live with panic disorder, OCD, or health anxiety, that advice can backfire fast. This week we're digging into why chasing relaxation as a goal often makes tension worse, and what actually helps instead.

We're talking about why physical tension is a normal response to stress and fear, not a problem to fix. Why techniques like jaw stretches, massage, and meditation can turn into more monitoring and checking. And why sometimes the fastest way through tension...

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Anxiety has a favorite move. It doesn't argue that acceptance and exposure don't work. It just convinces you they don't apply to you specifically. This thought, this sensation, this situation, is the one exception to every rule you already understand.

This week we break down what fuels that exception: possibility, intensity, and importance, plus the urgency that makes an unlikely outcome feel like it's already happening. A 1 in 5,000 chance means nothing until anxiety puts your name on it. The same pattern shows...

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It's your heart. Or the dizziness. Or the one thought you can't get to leave you alone. If you could just solve that specific thing, you'd finally be okay. This week we push back on that.

The subject of your fear, the heartbeat, the health scare, the intrusive thought, the situation you're avoiding, is the content. What's actually running underneath it, the same threat response, the same doubt, the same physical symptoms no matter what story your brain attaches them to this week, is...

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You want to do the acceptance thing. You've read the books, you've listened to the podcasts, you intellectually get it. And then you get triggered, and suddenly the version of you that's anxious, scared, or doubting gets the door slammed in its face. That version of you is broken. That version shouldn't be here. That version needs to go.

But that's the version of you that actually has to learn the lesson.

In this episode we dig into one...

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This week we're talking about attention. Specifically, how where you place your focus directly impacts your anxiety and your recovery.

We discuss how an anxiety disorder naturally hijacks your attention, pulling it inward to scan for threats inside your own body and mind. While checking in on how you feel might seem like the safest thing to do, it actually feeds the sensitization process. We look at the role of the locus coeruleus and the cognitive attentional syndrome, explaining why trying to constantly monitor...

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Improving vs. Optimizing in Anxiety Recovery

In this episode of Disordered, Drew and Josh tackle a topic suggested by the community: the hidden trap of the "optimization culture" and how it intersects with anxiety and OCD.

There is a distinct difference between wanting to improve your health and falling into compulsive, perfectionist territory where every metric must be flawlessly managed. For an anxious mind fixated on certainty, the modern wellness industry’s obsession with biohacking, strict routines, an...

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What do you do when your anxiety finally quietens down for a few days? For many of us, a calm day triggers a completely new set of anxious habits. We treat the absence of panic as a fragile victory, freezing in place so we do not ruin it, or constantly checking around the corner to see if the fear is returning.

In this episode, we address why the work of anxiety recovery continues even when you are feeling calm. When we spend our quiet days monitoring our...

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Can distraction be a compulsion in anxiety recovery? It is a question that comes up constantly in the anxiety community. Many people are told to simply "distract your mind" when they feel anxious, but if you are doing it specifically to escape a feeling, it can quickly turn into a safety behavior or a compulsion.

In this episode of Disordered, the guys break down the crucial difference between using distraction as an urgent escape mechanism and choosing to intentionally shift your attention toward something meaningful. Drew and...

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Asking for help can be difficult, especially when you are struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, or agoraphobia. In this episode, Drew and Josh break down the nuances of asking for anxiety help. There is a fine line between asking for genuine support and looking for compulsive reassurance or soothing to make the discomfort disappear.

Drew and Josh discuss why so many people feel like a burden when asking for support and how anxiety often twists the desire for help into a demand for certainty...

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OCD is a difficult condition to navigate, but it becomes significantly more challenging when obsessions center on taboo topics. Themes involving harm, pedophilia (pOCD), sexual orientation (HOCD), or moral and religious failure often carry a heavy burden of shame. This shame frequently drives people into silence, preventing them from seeking the help they need.

In this episode, Drew is joined by Jess Marriner, an OCD specialist based in the UK. They discuss why the human brain can latch onto these specific themes and why having a "taboo"...

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In this episode, Josh and Drew discuss a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: the desire to "win" against your anxiety. For many, especially those with perfectionist tendencies, anxiety is viewed as an adversary that has taken something away. This leads to a constant, habitual checking to see if the anxiety is gone, which inadvertently keeps you stuck in a cycle of monitoring and frustration.

We look at why defining recovery as a "win" can be counterproductive.

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Let's start with a success story from the UK. While being medically monitored for four hours, our listener realized how much attention she was giving to her physical symptoms. Her story highlights the difference between noticing a sensation and compulsively monitoring it.

Which leads us to a conversation about the urge to ALWAYS talk about how you feel - either out loud or silently in an internal dialogue.

We discuss the "telling compulsion," which is a common behavior for those struggling with anxiety and OCD...

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Have you ever felt like a supermarket was a high-stakes obstacle course you just couldn’t wait to escape? In this episode of Disordered, Josh and Drew dive deep into a struggle that almost everyone with an anxiety disorder knows well: anxiety in the supermarket or grocery store.

Whether it is the harsh fluorescent lighting, the narrow aisles, or the trapped feeling of standing in a long checkout queue, the grocery store is often a primary trigger for panic and agoraphobia. We discuss why th...

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This episode of Disordered dives into the concept of sneaky compulsions. Many people struggling with anxiety or OCD often find themselves performing behaviors that they do not immediately recognize as compulsions. These can look like productive research, seeking reassurance through a joke, or even "checking" to see if you still feel calm.

Drew and Josh discuss how these behaviors are often avoidance or escape mechanisms in disguise. Whether it is asking a therapist if you are the worst case they have ever seen or...

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In this milestone episode of Disordered, we discuss the concepts in Josh's upcoming book. The conversation focuses on the gaps in anxiety recovery and the modern hurdles that prevent people from effectively practicing desensitization.

They break down how the obsession with "optimization" and the "wellness brosphere" often becomes a distraction from the actual work of recovery. Using case studies from the book, they examine the different ways people try to avoid vulnerability by using hacks or curated identities.

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In this episode, Josh and Drew tackle a common hurdle in anxiety recovery: what happens when an exposure feels like a "failure" or when you choose to "bail."

An exposure is the deliberate act of evoking an anxious response. It is a way to rewire the brain by intentionally lighting up the threat response and practicing response prevention. The goal is to teach your brain that you are safe even when you feel scared, rather than trying to force yourself to feel calm.

...

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This episode of Disordered addresses the experience of constant, simmering anxiety that fluctuates in intensity throughout the day without fully disappearing. We refer to this as undulating panic or a loop of peaking anxiety.

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In this episode of Disordered, we celebrate the "Global Edition" of Did It Anyway. 

We're sharing inspiring stories from our community members around the world who chose to face their fears and take action despite experiencing intense anxiety.

From navigating health anxiety at a drum and bass gig in London to managing emetophobia while being physically ill, these stories highlight the power of psychological flexibility. We discuss how recovery isn't about the absence of anxiety, but rather the shortening o...

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In this episode, Josh and Drew break down the "Stress Jug"—a metaphor designed to explain why anxiety and panic often seem to appear out of nowhere. The guys discuss how accumulated stress, both positive and negative, can cause your "threat response" to overflow, leading to sensitization and the search for a threat where none exists.

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This week we're discussing the relationship between anxiety and self-compassion. Self-compassion is often dismissed as a way to avoid difficult tasks or "whine" about struggles, but it is actually a functional part of the desensitization process.

Drew shares how he originally viewed self-compassion as a weakness that would lead to more avoidance, only to realize that berating himself was not actually an effective motivator. Josh explains how a lack of self-compassion can lead to "re-sensitization" when you turn recovery into a performance you have...

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This episode of Disordered explores the vital role of attention in anxiety recovery. Josh and Drew discuss the core skill of moving your attention while feeling high levels of fear.

Many people struggling with anxiety disorders feel their attention is glued to symptoms or intrusive thoughts. Josh describes this as "threat-induced attention," which is a survival mechanism where the brain locks onto perceived danger. You always have agency over your attention. Recovery involves building an "attention muscle" to acknowledge the fear and choose...

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After many months of building and planning, the Disordered Community space is now live. We could not be more pleased about this!

Check out the community space here:

https://disordered.fm/community

Why did we do this?

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This episode of Disordered examines the fundamental "Golden Rules" of anxiety desensitization. Josh and Drew break down two core principles designed to guide long term desensitization for those struggling with panic disorder, agoraphobia, OCD, and health anxiety. They move away from promising cures or quick fixes, focusing instead on changing the listener's relationship with discomfort.

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In this episode of Disordered, guest co-host Kimberley Quinlan joins Drew to pull back the curtain on one of the most persistent hurdles in anxiety recovery: rumination. Whether you call it overthinking, worry, or mental "problem solving," the process is a universal constant across panic disorder, OCD, health anxiety, depression, and other related issues.

We examine why rumination feels like a productive tool when it is actually a mental compulsion designed to avoid the discomfort of uncertainty. Kim and Drew break down the "tax"...

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In this episode, Drew and Josh discuss the world of anxiety cures and the "miracle" solutions often marketed to those struggling with panic, OCD, and health anxiety. They share personal stories of the various methods they tried during their own recoveries and explain why many popular trends fail to provide long-term relief.