KNOCK IT OFF Podcast

Give Nathan Fielder and that Other Guy and Oscar Already and Shut Up About It

A middle-aged unqualified suburban mother's rant on 'You Can See Everything'

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Hey Savage: Save Your Work

On the importance of backing up your writing

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The Showdown at Studio D

How my tiny dancer tested the limits of my unconditional love

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The Great Red Jersey Heist

An ultimate hometown soccer scandal

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A Tour Through the Haunted Mansion

With the ghosts of our Substack's past

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Your Gym is Out to Get You

Why you should NOT join the monthly challenge

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Inking the Memories

My first tattoo experience (kind of)

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Lucky Discoveries

Mom knows best

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D.O.L.L.Y. P.A.R.T.O.N.

An acrostic to honor her Legacy

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I Pulled Off the Ultimate 'First Wives Club' Stunt Aboard a Cruise Ship

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How Great Clips Restored My Faith in Humanity

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Threading the Needle

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Threading the Needle

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When the You Before You (as a Mother) Pays a Visit

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Instructions for Preteen Camp Pick Up

It's really very simple!

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5 Fictional Substacks We’d Devour from 90’s Movies

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My Chicken Bought the Farm

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I found the Secret to Great Wealth

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Your Top Five Worst Nightmares

In the age of squishies

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How to Fall Back in Love with Summer as a Mother 

With Help from Taylor Swift’s Recent “I knew it, I knew you” Release 

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Millennial Grandstanding Miracle

The story of my reunification with water skis

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The Ghost of The Grove Park Inn Watched me Eat my Hat

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My Mother’s Day in a Broken Note Nutshell

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A Letter to Sports Parents

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Reminiscing about Jury Duty

The show, not the civic responsibility

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You Gotta Let Kids Make Their Own Mistakes

Or, do you?

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Fork Found in Kitchen

No-spend February fails; swimsuit woes; double entendres; reunions that heal; busting on name tags; rose fungus; encouragement for creatives; running stories; insults; and flower walks

Tis the week for our unscripted conversation & recommendations!

We have an unscripted convo (rather than writing) about once a month. During this convo, we ridicule each other while discussing books and other things we are currently loving. Why? Because we’ve never felt so alive.

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Cheers to 3 Years, Knockers!

Can you believe it? Today, Knock It off turns THREE.

On March 26th, 2023, two sisters living in the ‘burbs of Florida released our very first piece, titled “It’s F.A.C.!” to introduce ourselves to the world. Share our humor vibe. Explain why we are the way that we are.

From there, we have journeyed through pieces on:

Childhood memories

* The orange tree that sparked a sister duel

* Sacagawea walks into a bank

Parenting vulnerabilities

* I want to remember...

I Love Your Shoes!

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Not ‘Just Another Birthday’

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In Defense of a Mental Health Day for Children

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Ask Bethany: U5 Sports Prodigy

He could be going all the way

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The Hills of Longing

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It doesn’t seem fair. On Friday, Catherine O’Hara passed away at the age of 71. We’re still reeling from the death of Diane Keaton in October last year, and now this. Both of these women served as our on-screen secondary mothers. Their untimely deaths, so close in time, hit hard.

Sure, Catherine was perhaps the most neglectful mother, twice accidentally leaving her fictional son alone while her family gallivanted the globe, but that’s part of what made her so . . . relatable. We found oddly familiar comfort each time she shrieked “KEVIN!!” as sheer terror took over upon th...

Put Her on a Leash

Nespresso problems; rose bushes; bird watching; The Underdoggs; hay allergies; Christmas tree posing; race losing; thigh hanging; & pizza hacks

Tis the week for our unscripted conversation & recommendations!

We have an unscripted convo (rather than writing) about once a month. During this convo, we ridicule each other while discussing books and other things we are currently loving. Why? Because we’ve never felt so alive.

For all links, go directly to the post on knockitoff.substack.com

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The Golden Gifts of 2025

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Our First 2026 Goal Surprised Us Both

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We Thought it Would Be a Good Idea to Bring Six Children to a Three-Hour-Long Retirement Party

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You're Having a Fantasy!

Retirement talk; Taco Bell runs; Elf on the Shelf; Bearistas; trellises; Eggonomics; Snoop news; Tayvis talk; shoes off homes; and holiday madness

Tis the week for our unscripted conversation & recommendations!

We have an unscripted convo (rather than writing) about once a month. During this convo, we ridicule each other while discussing books and other things we are currently loving. Why? Because we’ve never felt so alive.

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What to do with a Season-Spirit Mismatch

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