Employee #1 - The Industrial Accident Podcast

Did you know a that when a few carbuncles pop up together it’s called a furuncle?

Speaking of itchy pustules, That Guy’s nephew calls him “carb uncle,” cause he smells like gas and works on old cars.

That Guy’s niece calls him “fur uncle,” cause he looks like a monkey when he sneaks around naked at the park sniffing benches, slides, and swing sets.

Anyhoo, here is a minimally-edited episode bubbling up around the word “boil.”

"Main Guy" Ben Tweener, "This Guy" Misty Dawn, and "That Guy" Ivegotta Itchybum go bonkers while Research Department takes the night off to play Bunko (whatever the fuck that is).

One more episode to go before the Season 4 Finale!

No one can live without an aorta. Don’t believe us? Listen to this shit!

Gil T. Yuronner whips out some *“main vein” stories for Eda Bagadix, Hairy Queen Snailtrail, and the Research Department.

*Special note from Main Guy: Of course (as anyone who skipped the second grade will tell you) the aorta is an artery—not a vein, but if my evil plan worked, you’re probably thinking about cocks right now.

#dick #weenie #pecker #penis

Lots of running going on around here. Running mouths running circles of distracted conversations while running a failing podcast into the ground.

Glen Struation runs down a list of stories pertaining to all types of running—forcing Carol Lina, Phat Dong, and the Research Department to run for the exit.

Nathan Higgers attempts to tell stories about boats and hoes to Kamen Wendt, Gitten Herdrawersoff and the Research Department.

Like many tragic tales of boats (and hoes) throughout recorded history, this one starts out loose and sloppy and ends up . . . well . . . wet, tired, and fucked. Unsatisfactorily fucked.

After the prior version of this episode had been streamed/downloaded about 400 times, a helpful listener reached out and said, "What's with all the time gaps, overlaps, and random shit after the episode?!"

Apparently, Main Guy was so busy fiddling around in Photoshop to make the stupid artwork that really doesn't look like a guy hammering a toe into a board like a nail, he uploaded the wrong audio file. Let's try this again . . .

Joe King tells some toe-curling stories to Ketavetouck Litchard and recovering surgery victim Pete O’Phile. Research Department is otherwise occupied wi...

Well, the original posting of this episode was a mess. Only after it had been downloaded 400 times, did an astute listener finally reach out and say, "What's with all the gaps and the random shit after the episode."

Main Guy screwed up. Let's try this shit again.

Joe King tells some toe-curling stories to Ketavetouck Litchard and recovering surgery victim Pete O’Phile. Research Department is otherwise occupied with a recovery of her own.

Categories include:

• Avulsion

• Gun

• Trimmer

• Bed

• Finger

Joe King tells some toe-curling stories to Ketavetouck Litchard and recovering surgery victim Pete O’Phile. Research Department is otherwise occupied with a recovery of her own. Categories include:

This one will chap ya! Hannibal Recktor puts some gloss on lip stories for Rhett Wayne, Shae Vercooter and the Research Department. 

Oral Roberts serves up six gruesome stories for Dick Bush, the Research Department, and a special guest!

Avast and Merry Christmas, ye pukes!

As a result of another mutiny, Main Guy 2.0 (Whet Fart) commandeers the Captain's chair and holds Clem Chowder, Phil Hole, and the Research Department hostage while he talks about all the scary equipment he works on.

#AIDS #ATV #accident #beer #belching #blackhumor #boiler #butcher #california #careerday #comedy #computercrash #crude #crushed #dark #fermilier #fuckinidiot #gallowshumor #industrialaccident #injury #joystick #kansas #mature #morbid #multipletakes #ohio #oncall #osha #pointzeroonefive #pottymouths #press #profanity #researchdepartment #schadenfreude #tasteless #utah #vulgar

Please shoot us a rating and review wherever you listen.

During the government shutdown, while OSHA took some time off, Main Guy Juan Tutreefor was busy excluding “model” and “serial” from his searches to find a number of stories featuring numbers.

There were ten stories to begin with, but Deep State (or our old friend from India) had other ideas.

This Guy (Tyler Nall), That Guy (Harry Snailtrail), the Research Department and live audience member Fuckin' Tom had to count down to the bitter end.

Por favor, disfruta!

The Grand Wizard saddles up, lights his torch and riles up the ignorant mob with fiery rhetoric about race! The mob includes Peter Winkler, Avin Ashag, and the Research Department. 

This one is so controversial, the Deep State kept crashing our computer!

Categories include:

Happy Halloween, free-feeders!

This one is as disorganized and careless as a black widow web.

Host Jerry Atric pulls some random strands from his ass and weaves tales designed to snare the attention of Pud Huff, Dildo Swaggins, and the Research Department.

Categories include:

patreon.com/employee1

bonfire.com/store/employee1podcast

instagram.com/employee1podcast

facebook.com/employee1podcast

After suckling another related episode, Scooter Fudgestein, Harry Holler, Frankie Fisterass, and the Research Department will officially spit out the pink part. Maybe.

Six well-rounded stores about breasts are bouncing your direction! (It could'a been seven, but you’re apparently not on our Patreon $5 tier)

#bigbopper #breastpump #california #kennyloggins #mammogram #pinch #pissbreak #pollockjokes #poke #stripped #tejas #truckdick #whichguy #windshield

Things are still a bit nipply here in Pink Eye Studios. Boyle Dribblins pulls his mouth off the teat long enough to tell Pa Blo, Huge Snuts, and the Research Department eight stories about milk.

Trick or Teat! Dusky Areola gets Emilio Earhardt, Buster Cornholer, and the Research Department all perked up. This one’s about all kinds of nipples.

#kentuckyjelly #blowjob #environmental #sawzall #stanchion #impaled #freon #muppet #thrown #mud #spider #Texas #pop #FarrahFawcett #hanoijane #barbarella #duranduran #accident #osha #schadenfreude #dark #blackhumor #beer #belching #crude #comedy #gallowshumor #mature #morbid #pottymouths #profanity #researchdepartment #tasteless #vulgar

After an extended period of “pre-gaming” we finally got around to the Main Event. Dean Keystink, Stu Pedaso, Lenny Dykefister, and the Research Department land on the RECORD button. In total there were 4-hours of drunken blather before, during, and after this mess and this is all Main Guy could salvage for an episode.

Categories include:

#accident #beer #belching #blackhumor #blowjob #comedy #crude #gallowshumor #industrialaccident #injury #mature #morbid #osha #pottymouths #profanity #researchdepartment #schadenfreude #vulgar #lemmysmole #belalugosisdad #shitfaced #drunk #ozzy #wisconsin #dado #donorcycle #kickback #alabama #molten #burns #moisture #unhing...

Stand back! Something might flop out and hit ya right between the eyes! Sandy Bumcum “fasten"-ates J.G. Wentworth, Mike Lit, and the Research Department with stories about zippers!

DISCLAIMER: Some dipshit grabbed the wrong mike and threw off each channel’s pre-defined settings, so this one sounds shittier than usual—even worse than S3 E8: Shitty EQ!

Host Lando Dufree tells some cute little Employee #-versus-robot stories to Ed Kazinsky, Juan Tubang, and the Research Department.

Unplug your Amazon Alexa (and your Hitachi Magic Wand) . . .

Shit gets fruity. This one gets sidetracked quite a bit, but Lou Sassol, Red Oxcock, Pat McCock, and the Research Department eventually squeeze the juice out of stories from the following categories:

For being named after something usually found in your shorts, this one runs a bit long. Sigmund Floyd regales Raoul Pud, Phil Hermuff, and the Research Department with tales of stopping short, and leaving a mark.

For being named after something usually found in your shorts, this one runs a bit long. Sigmund Floyd regales Raoul Pud, Phil Hermuff, and the Research Department with tales of stopping short, and leaving a mark.

Audience member and Patron "Fuckin’ Tom" (and the lovely and charming Mrs. Fuckin’ Tom) patiently tolerate multiple stories about leaks while Mr. Hatch, Eileen Yulick, Dick Rexholes and Research Department shake a few dribbles out of this one.

Main Guy Maine Guy hosts Ian Nutsdeep and Ken McSpudzie while Karen from HR tries to keep a lid on things.

True Crime Kent was kind enough to join us yet again for a season finale episode!

Special Guest Kunt Chungus joins Hum Dinger, Richard Tonsiltickler, Gabe Owners and the Research Department to discuss pre-OSHA Industrial Accidents researched on a website that, as of recently, sponsors no one involved.

This is the last episode before the Season 3 Finale featuring Kent Chungus!

In this episode Brad the Impaler, Wesley Weaseltits, Phil Downerpants, and the Research Department are joined by special guest Mitosis!

Ta-Da! Look what it is . . . !

Its another long one. A long one about shorts.

Gene Pool, Jack Hoff, Gabe Porn, and the Research Department learn some important lessons they forgot exactly when their hangovers cleared.

In this extra-long episode Julian Spagoolie, Harry Heartworm, and Dane Gleesak discuss stories with titles that rhyme with “truce”. Dane proves his ignorance of Beatles music.

Immediately followed by a one-off true crime podcast called "Arthur Gary Bishop: A Dirty Rotten Fuck." This one ain’t for all audiences. If you have a soft heart, a weak stomach, or children DON'T LISTEN!

From the home of the 2002 Winter Games, Jack Doff, Indy Geshtion, and Phil Yertitties take the Bronze. Phil discusses his Naval aspirations, and old-guy chokes again.

Cheesus, what’s that smell? Andy Phylaxis, Matt Ernity, and Artie Inn chew on some cheesy accidents.

Well, the Super Bowl is over. Boo frickety hoo,

If you still need some football in your life, take heart: Sal Liva, Jerry Maya, and Rob Mypoosee thrill you with their offense and defense. Things really get offensive and defensive.

Don't forget to check out History Goon wherever you listen to podcasts! Tell Kevin Employee #1 sent you.

Dan Creas, Will Son and Lou Sainus discuss Employee #1's adventures in the great outdoors, until disaster strikes.

The takeover begins.

Hosts Ivan Topuke, Dick Berry, and Barry McCockiner jump over the hedge and show you what’s going on in Employee #1’s backyard. Hint: There’s a fracas of ficus.

Dish Warsham, Allan Wrench, and Mike Oxbig take you on a ride down to the farm to show you where Employee #1 used to work. This is the episode where someone old-guy chokes and almost dies during recording.

At long last, the term Kalookio is explained. You are gonna want to hear this!

#atv #accident #allsaintsday #beer #belching #blackhumor #bountifulload #comedy #crude #dark #fuckdoll #fudgepackin #gallowshumor #grapists #hashtag #industrialaccident #injury #kalookio #mature #morbid #motorcycle #osha #peedinkle #pottymouths #researchdepartment #roadhead #schadenfreude #tasteless #temporaryemployee #thump #torso #trauma #vulgar #xray

Welcome to all the new listeners we've gotten since our mention on True Crime Kent!

To celebrate, Father Christmas, Krist Kringle, Sinter Claus and Krampus (The Research Department) would like to take you on a holiday slay ride. Blow the dust off your egg nog and enjoy stories about these categories:

• Caribou

• Chimney

• Christmas Tree 1

• Christmas Tree 2

• Christmas Tree 3

• Gift

• Sleigh

Also, pay attention to the ad at the beginning. That Guy was feeling mighty generous. Join our Patreon $5 tie...

Hosts Roland Z. Hay, Sam Squatch, and Ole C. Cretion get a bit retrospective and discuss things that are defective from a collective perspective.

C-word warning.

What do venereal diseases have to do with industrial accidents? Fuck around and find out.

Helping the listener to scratch what itches are our friends Spiro Keetes AKA "Milky Substance", Casio Motorola, and Rocky "Rock" Hardcock.

Categories include:

Clam

Crabs

The Clap

The Gift

Trick

Hepatitis B

Ding Dong! Boy have we got some tricks and treats for you!

Hosts Emerson Bigguns, Patrick "Pud" Spelunker, and Neil Inlick talk about six people who were Employee #1 for Halloween.

Yes. We realize that this is episode 13 and you haven't heard episode 12 yet. We didn't think you'd enjoy a Halloween episode in November.

Sometimes a reach becomes a stretch. Austin Tasheous, Ernald Vanderhorn, and Heywood Jagarglemynuts have a round-table discussion about what happens when Employee #1's reach exceeds their grasp.

#accident #angellust #applebutter #babysittersclub #beer #belching #blackhumor #Brewery #california #comedy #crude #dark #davidspud #ebonics #forklift #gallowshumor #industrialaccident #insulinpump #morbid #osha #pineapplemargarita #pottymouths #ppe #researchdepartment #schadenfreude #selfpropelled #tasteless #vulgar