Nick Abbot - The Whole Show
Funny and witty, Nick is a national treasure. Nick Abbot – The Whole Show is now available exclusively on Global Player. 'Add to Library' so you don’t miss any future episodes.
Nick doesn't want you to send him any more wet animals
Someone points out that Nick Abbot sounds like acting legend Bill Nighy - so you helpful lot came through with the whole of his filmography. Also, Nick makes a lewd mispronunciation of Tarantino's Hateful Eight. (Friday 23rd October, 2026)
Nick gets annoyed at the concept of popcorn bags
A whole lot of you had birthdays today. Also, does anyone remember those "woke pies" what come in a tin? (Saturday 18th October, 2026)
Nick body shames Boris Johnson for like, 3 minutes straight
Will Aisling in Richmond ever recieve the love she deserves from her opponent receptionist? And Nick asks the age old question... how wet do you want him? (Friday 16th October, 2026)
Nick loses it at "Whiney the Pooh"
Trump says Ukraine needs a new President. That's funny, innit? (Saturday 10th October, 2026)
Nick is a soothsayer about Trump's televised executions
To answer Peter in Penge: no, Nick WILL NOT accept a job providing running commentary on the execution, but he quite likes the idea of having audio description. Accessibility, folks. (Friday 9th October, 2026)
Nick wants to know what a donkey tastes like
Genevieve tells us about her Horse Studies degree - the debate on which animals are waterproof continues... (Saturday October 3rd, 2026)
Nick admires Ticket Inspector Jenrick for his bravery
What would Ravi in Isleworth do if he was a shoplifter? Also, Nick learns what a drain fly is! He isn't sufficiently disgusted. (Friday October 2nd, 2026)
Nick worries about getting impregnated by a spider
Nick gets his character assassinated by a hairdresser in Rustington - and speaking of dodgy hair, Nick learns about the beauty of the Gloster Canary. (Saturday 26th September, 2026)
Nick accepts your congratulations on his new electric vehicle
An ursine-heavy show today, with panda diplomacy and Fat Bear Week. Ranjit in Oldbury has a theory about why the full moon affects callers' behaviour. (Friday 25th September, 2026)
Nick is sorry this podcast has been uploaded a day late
Well, not Nick. It's been a busy month at Global Towers. (Saturday 18th September, 2026)
Nick Shakes n' Vacs and Puts The Freshness Back
Donald Trump comes through and gives Nick some fresh material to work with live on the show. Freedom for Greenland. (Friday 18th September, 2026)
Nick muses on the joys of Englebert Humperdinck
Hands up if you'd forgotten Englebert Humperdinck existed? Also, Abigail in Dewsbury treats us to her latest rant. (Saturday 12th September, 2026)
Nick muses on whether he should start an Abbot Dividend
Has Donald Trump pledged $5,000 to voters this week? We hadn't noticed. Meanwhile, Natalie in Blackheath recalls women chucking their pants at Tom Jones. (Friday 11th September, 2026)
Nick receives a genuinely moving text
Hard to write a funny description when a listener opens up like that. God speed. (Saturday 5th September, 2026)
Nick is worried about the climate crisis
Same, Nick. Same. (Friday 4th September, 2026)
Nick is not taking requests for the Abbot-McGiffin curse
Judy in Belsize Park isn't declaring war on any other listeners, but she does come through with the most pertinent question of summer 2026... Why are oranges so disgusting this season? (Saturday 29th August, 2026)
Nick audibly struggles his way through a cold
Nick Abbot has been struck by summer flu... and you lot are still texting in AI-generated photos of Flat Eric hosting an LBC show. (Friday 28th August, 2026)
Nick finally qualifies for his state pension
Happy 66th Birthday, Nick Abbot! Enjoy the triple lock - my generation are paying for it. (Saturday 22nd August, 2026)
Nick denies looking like Flat Eric
Geoff in Merthyr Tydfil confirms he has NOT been able to get Nick banned from the Goose and Cuckoo - and Nick admits he tailors this programme's content to nine year olds. (Friday 21st August, 2026)
Nick denies looking like Flat Eric
Geoff in Merthyr Tydfil confirms he has NOT been able to get Nick banned from the Goose and Cuckoo - and Nick admits he tailors this programme's content to nine year olds. (Friday 21st August, 2026)
Nick (The Boomer) learns who The Weeknd is
Judy in Belsize Park is NOT declaring war anytime soon - and who exactly is Miss Honey? (Saturday 15th August, 2026)
Nick breaks the shackles of pre-election purdah
Nick has been very restrained this last month - but now Clacton has concluded, we have some catching up to do:
FarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarageFarage (Friday 14th August, 2026)
Nick is still angry at Andy Burnham for going on his 'olidays
Nick and the callers were flaming the Glamorous Assistant a bit too much today, so she's going on strike and not writing a proper description for today's podcast. (Saturday 8th August, 2026)
Nick is angry at Andy Burnham for going on his 'olidays
Are there any director's cuts which are actually better than the film? And will Andy Burnham be able to clear his mind for office by building some sandcastles? (Friday 7th August, 2026)
Nick makes a lifelong friend in Jean from Havering
Is there a Parliament-style bar in Global Towers - and what horrific crimes has Flat Eric committed? Most importantly... can anyone tell Nick what the point of a banana slicer is? (Saturday 1st August, 2026)
Nick learns about the joys of toilet hoses
Does Darren in Colbridge know his "poop tube" may be illegal? And is Jimothy the raccoon actually cute, or an abomination? Also, some politics or something happening in the Manchester Mayoral race - but mainly poop tubes.
Nick learns the dangers of a "packet of eggs"
Sophie in Wanstead gets dumped for saying a euphemism involving oats, and Nick learns about the 1976 Drought Minister. (Saturday 25th July, 2026)
Nick has to list all 34 candidates for the Clacton by-election
Exactly how many listeners are tuning in through the medium of Euro Truck Simulator 2? And will Rose in Tavistock move to Glasgow to escape the heatwave? (Friday 24th July, 2026)
Nick's disappointed in England's MEN'S sporting teams
Nick unleashes his frustration at England's MEN'S sporting teams for failing to win a major tournament. The women WIN, while the men 'do great'...
(Saturday 18th July, 2026)
Is Poland in the North or South Pole?
In this episode, Nick asks: Is being too hot necessarily a bad thing? How is England doing in the political landscape? And line up for your testosterone test with Pete Hegseth!
(Friday 17th July, 2026)
Nick mandates a FOOTBALL-FREE ZONE
A delightful month ahead of lamenting a certain unnamed individual. Find out what happens when a man goes into a German tobacconists - and why Derek in Cullen's best birthday present ever is the absence of his son... (Saturday 11th July, 2026)
Nick talks about how relaxing MRIs are
Anyone up for a visit to the Islamic Republic of Japan? Can't think if anything big is happening this week in a certain Essex constituency... Nope, can't think of anything. (Friday 10th July, 2026)
Nick gets annoyed about Coronation Street
Has Coronation Street just been 65 years of "ugly people moaning at each other"? Nick fills his Ann Widdecombe impression quota for the episode, while simultaneously asking what the hell the lyrics in Wonderwall are about... (Saturday 4th July, 2026)
Nick tells a ten-year-old he hasn't achieved enough in life
Another week, another show where we all thank Nick for "being radio". Let's talk dogs in bags, adversarial pedestrians, and conspiracies about Nick's new premium podcast funding his car payments... (Friday 3rd July, 2026)
Nick's war against the insects continues
There's a little moth that's been annoying Nick this week... Also, Nick learns about the World's Loudest Man - and it's not Donald Trump. (Saturday 28th June, 2026)
Nick struggles his way through the heatwave
It's too hot to come up with a description. Do it yourselves. (Friday 26th June, 2026)
Nick gets cancelled for misidentifying Count Binface as a bucket
In between reminiscing about Ann Widdecombe and George Osborne's power stances, Nick tells us how his car nearly set on fire in Whitehall tonight. Plus: has Starmer ever amused Nick enough to make it onto his soundboard?
Nick solves the mystery of "Happy as Larry"
Has Chris Packham been laundering the reputation of parakeets? Amid chats about heat pumps, motorbikes and noisy vehicles, Nick wants to know... is there someone in the back of your mirror? (Friday 19th June, 2026)
Nick enjoys a nice big sneeze on air
No more slugs or slimy things, please. Just watermelons, and Geoff in Merthyr Tydfil informing us that he's heard pigeons breaking wind before. (Saturday 13th June, 2026).
Nick regrets asking for help with his slug problem
A switchboard full of slug murderers... and a 73-year-old with a pair of scissors is the worst of them all. An unknown gum-slinger strikes fear and despair into the heart of Nick Abbot. (Friday 12th June 2026)
