Grumble Goat

10 Episodes
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By: Mat Labotka & Veronique Hurley

Welcome to Grumble Goat: A comedic grumbling of mundane trivialities. Mat Labotka and Veronique Hurley grumble through life's little pet peeves. Do you hate gum? Have you ever thought about it? You probably hate gum without even realizing it. Follow Mat's absurd infuriation down the rabbit-hole into frustration, while Veronique's bouyant optimism keeps us afloat... of the Grumble Goat. Learn more about your hosts: matlabotka.com & veroniquehurley.com

The News
#173
Last Monday at 4:24 PM

Humanity has a natural inclination toward gossip. It’s an instinctive need that we’re constantly up to date on what’s happening. Who is getting married? Who is fighting? What sensationalist embarrassment is the king going through? And in the modern age, we have the technology to beam gossip directly into our eyes from anywhere in the world, heck, even out of the world when checking in on the International Space Station’s dehydrated food options. But when the information is expected at every moment, do we then need to sensationalize the mediocre? If there is no News, do the t...


Half-Full Beverages
#172
03/18/2024

Water is the element of Life. The origins of life on earth may be enshrouded in mystery, but that it began in water is unquestionable. While humankind does not live in water, a cursory glance at a map reveals that civilization develops near water. We must always have access to water to survive. But in the modern era, we can rely on the everpresent ether of the Poland Spring to quench us as far as the asphalt takes us. Coke machines and Convenience Marts litter the land from the summits of Aspen to the marshes of Kissimmee. So sated...


Leap Day
#171
03/04/2024

Since the dawn of Humankind, we have looked to the heavens for answers. The sun has always been our clock, the constellations forever our calendar. Becoming an agricultural society required deciphering the cosmos in order to predict the seasons’ change. Eventually, turning ourselves into office-dwelling, meeting-addicted, hourly automatons necessitated breaking time up into nano-second precision. But the hyper-efficient corporate business model and the heavenly cosmological blanket of gravitational space-time aren’t compatible. And so there appears, every fourth year, a magical moment of concession to the natural forces of the universe: an extra day. Despite all of our glorious mach...


Pillows
#170
02/26/2024

Life on Earth has evolved in a heartless, gladiatorial gauntlet of Survival of the Fittest. The eventual apex Champion of the Arena is a warm-blooded, lean, running machine with a problem-solving, complex brain. This cave-dwelling ape not only conquered the animal kingdom, but dominated nature itself by changing its own environment. And we changed it in the name of comfort. Having harnessed the element of fire, we eventually created air-conditioning. Sandals for foot protection evolved into Heelys and Uggs. Animal furs became Snuggies; and cots became Sleep-Numbers. But as we moved further away from our Nature, has it become...


Sales
#169
02/19/2024

This President’s Day, America comes together to celebrate – like every holiday – the things that matter most to our nation, Deals. Now that the presidency has been reduced to the hollow pulpit of reality-show ridiculousness, we are free to embrace that which is core to America. We the people, in order to create a more perfect facade of family values, sell cheap imported trinkets at slightly less than artificially inflated retail prices and call it a deal. After selling out everything that America once stood for in the name of corporate profits, can we the people finally get a discou...


Flowers
#168
02/12/2024

The Plant Kingdom and the Animal Kingdom have always lived in a delicate, symbiotic peace. The animals kindly exhale carbon dioxide for the plants to breathe, and the plants pull nutrition from the dirt and create delicious fruits. But then humans tear asunder the ancient armistice for their Valentine’s Day Massacre. Billions of innocent roses are ripped from their roots in the annual purge. Carnations are carnaged… all to present a fleeting token of affection to our sweethearts. But has defeating these frail, fragrant foes really proven our valor? Show some love with Mat and Veronique as we dona...


The Word ‘Just’
#167
01/30/2024

Humanity is a duality.  ‘Humanity’ is defined by us, our species, humans, the animal that rose above all other beasts to conquer the world.  But the word ‘Humanity’ also means compassion.  While language itself is one of Humankind’s unique abilities, the way we use language can be humane.  ‘Laid to rest’ is softer than ‘Kicked the bucket.’  ‘Restroom’ is more polite than ‘crapper.’  ‘Alt-right’ is less offensive than ‘Nazi.’  But when does politeness push into the realm of lying?  The pressure to not be a burden forces us to simplify our demands.  But sometimes our demands are complicated; can we ask them without sounding like too m...


Snow
#166
01/22/2024

How privileged we have become, to love the snow. The pretty, white blanket has become a plaything to draw angels and craft snowman. Skiing and sledding have become celebrated Olympic sports. Children pray for a day of snow… a day of blustering shards of frozen flakes so small and pervasive that it incapacitates the local civilization. So blindingly devastating that it paralyzes our infrastructure as all of our collective utility is honed toward dealing with the overwhelming menace. But it is pretty. Just ask the Donner Party how beautiful the mountains are in winter. As we blithely melt the ic...


Tension
#165
01/08/2024

As the long arc of the universe slowly degrades toward entropy, so too is the path of our humanly bodies toward atrophy. The invisible dark energies that push the ever-expanding universe faster into nothingness mirror the invisible pressures placed on our muscles through the stress of everything. Our minds control our muscular movements, but our minds are beaten down by societal judgement and parental expectation. How do we release the contractions in our muscles when we can’t let go of the rigid forces of life? Take a deep breath with Veronique and Mat as we align our chakras an...


Glitter
#164
01/01/2024

The passage of time is marked by ritual. Birthdays are counted with tiny candles, Rush week is passed by getting paddled, and fiscal quarters are anointed with new iPhones. Today is the end of the old year, and to celebrate the death of a year, we wear sparkles. With the fragile superstition of a time long past, we reach the last page of our word-a-day calendars and fear that this must mean the end of the world, so we bedazzle everything with the chintzy shine of reflective plastic. We strive to reflect all the world’s light with tiny bi...