Grumble Goat

John Locke tells us that all men are endowed with certain natural rights, those of Life, Liberty, and Property. And we love Property. Whether from late night infomercials or antique shopping, we are all material girls. We surround ourselves with X-Boxes and Labubus and clothes; especially clothes. And when we venture out of our homes there is always the debate of what Property to bring – do I need a water bottle? An umbrella? My entire library of books? And then there comes a vacation, where we venture away for days or weeks. What am I going to feel like we...

Wanderlust is embedded into the human DNA. It is as much a part of us as thirst or hunger, and just as powerful a motivator. Humanity did not cross the Bering Strait because Asia ran out of space, we crossed because it was there. We spread across the world like a global pandemic, and now that we have airplanes, that pandemic has become airborne. Travelers traverse everywhere, and thus citizens of foreign lands need a place to put all these explorers. Just like airports have customs lines, and the Everglades has Alligator Alcatraz, popular cities have Tourist Traps. Some...

Humankind has risen far above the nasty marshes and bubbling swamps of our natural beginnings. We have created order and society and cleanliness. And pleasant smells. Nature, on the other hand, is smelly. Our own bodies disgust us with their odors. So we made fragrant soaps and deodorants and eau de toilette. We created Time-Release-air-Fresheners and Bubblegum Vapes. But we still need our crops to grow and so we need fields covered in cow dung. So when we don’t like natural odors, but we want to decorate our parks in nature, we need to bring something natural and fe...

Welcome to the Future. We are now past the Information Age. Not only because mis-information has taken over, but also because we have been surpassed. It was fun living in the Now, but we can no longer keep up. Language-Learning Artificial Slop is the new reality and make-believe productivity is moving faster than we can blink; yet meanwhile, our lives are a hectic chaos of never-ending tasks and catching-up to yesterday’s To-Do list. Ironically, incrementally handing our society over to the machines has left us more frantically burdened than before. When did we lose the future of flying ca...

Humankind is a herding species. We thrive when we work in groups. Alone, a person would have to build their own shelter, forage their own food, sew their own clothes, and create their own streaming platform while writing and producing their own bingeworthy content. But together, we can spread that work around. The drawback is that if you didn’t build your own roller-coaster, then you have to wait your turn to ride someone else’s. But the National Attention Deficit is at an all time high, so how can we be expected to sit still in this militaristically rigi...

We live in the computer age. Everything is computer. Communication happens through our instant messaging, banking happens through the ATM, groceries are ordered via app, and applying for jobs is HR portals. Gone are the days of firm handshakes and human interaction. Though, there remains one hospitable refuge. There exists one business model that pairs a live liaison with each human guest. When you go to a restaurant, it is a human that greets you and waits on your needs. But what happens when even that modicum interaction is split by a machine? Build an appetite with Mat and...

What was once spread-out nomadic tribes, Humankind has transformed into overpopulated, sky-scraping mega-metropolises. Progress has created super-city-states of civilization that clump humans together almost as tightly as explorers in OceanGate’s Titan Submersible. And with such a dense population, we create waste. While the computer-age technology has created a much brighter Times Square and faster Wall Street algorithms, waste management has not moved far beyond throwing garbage out our front doors. The steaming, repulsive heaps of sidewalk trash are a magnet for disease and rodents. And some of these filthy monsters, it turns out, are our neighbors. Trash talk wi...

Humankind has developed an obsessive encyclopedia of rules, ordinances, and law. We thrive in discipline and orderliness. Laws dictate where we can go, how we behave, and exactly how inebriated we can be driving home. But we are also beholden to our nature. And the one Law of Nature is ‘Kill, or be Killed!’ But when we are good boys and girls, how can we scratch that killer itch? Tune into your sinful, guilty pleasure with Veronique and Mat as we indulge that baser instinct vicariously through the dulcet sounds of True Crime!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no r...

Humankind loves systems and order. We obsessively name and categorize everything in nature. We divided all of the branches of life into Species and Genus and Kingdoms. We plotted every element in the universe into a table of contents. We put the square block in the square hole. And in our kitchens, we stack the plates with the plates and the bowls with the bowls. Forks go on other forks and spoon nestle with other spoons. But there is one cupboard that is given to entropy. Chaos reins on the coffee cup shelf. There is no organization or stacking...

Healthcare is a vital part of our society. Just like access to food and water, healthcare is a necessary part of maintaining these fleshy avatars we call bodies. While hospitals and medical access may be a wildly mismanaged, robber-baron industry of government-sponsored organized crime, most of our healthcare starts at the home. Staying hydrated and choking down brussel sprouts is basic health maintenance. Self-care starts with avoiding Hot Pockets and Baja Blasts. Physical Fitness beats Physicals. But Ten Thousand steps is also wear and tear. What happens when healthy hurts? Rest and Recuperate with Mat and Veronique as we...

Humankind is a product of nature, and thus we are beholden to nature. Despite living in a world of caller-ID […]

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We mark a new year on the calendar.  Like a barbarian whipping a flail around its chain, so too does […]

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Veronique’s favorite Christmas episode is returning to brighten your Holiday Season!

One of the many joyous traditions practiced in this Holiday Season is the exchanging of gifts. Gifts, ultimately, are just things – maybe toys, maybe socks, maybe a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB Gun. What makes a gift magical is that it comes wrapped. You are handed a mysterious, shrouded box or bag of clandestine wonder and your only task is to annihilate this thin obfuscation and claim your prize. But what is the obligation of the gift-wrapper? Amazon would claim fulfilment after dropping the item into...

There is something deeply elemental about doors. Something lurks in our minds, possibly from our days living in caves, that […]

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In this futuristic age, it is easy to forget that we are mortal. Humanity has become nearly all-powerful… we can […]

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As Autumn sets in once again, humanity must face the eternal questions of decay that haunt the bare branches and […]

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The meaning of life is a question that has plagued philosophers since the dawn of time. Some say love, or […]

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Music is a fundamental element to humankind’s soul. Before spoken language, there was music. Our bodies have circadian rhythms and […]

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In humankinds modern, late-stage-capitalistic world, one of the most celebrated luxuries is Flavor. Chefs and Sommeliers are world renowned celebrities. […]

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In a more Enlightened Age, humankind’s fundamental, inalienable rights were simmered down to Life, Liberty, and Property. Nine tenths of […]

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Humankind does not have fur. Somewhere along the Darwinian path, it became advantageous to free ourselves of this coat and […]

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The Earth sources all of its energy from the Sun. The Sun heats the Earth, allowing for liquid water, which […]

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Humankind may be the top of the food chain, but that chain still binds us. As mortals, we still must […]

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The modern household is a wonder of technological efficiency. We have machines that perform mundane tasks to alleviate those stresses […]

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It is a fast paced-world we live in. Every great leap in technology is designed to make life easier: the […]

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Safety first. Nothing is more important than your health and safety. Especially when traveling. So when we drive, we wear […]

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In the near future, the robots are winning the war against humans. Any human action taken outside of acceptable drone-performance […]

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We don’t have a fresh Grumble this week, but it may be time to revisit the topic of ‘Hating Taxes.’ It seems that our government has been taken over by a shadowy, robed cabal of unelected, out-of-touch oligarchs who Hate Taxes.

There are few things as universally reviled in this world as the repugnant idea of taxes. The image of the tax-collector is that of a brutish thug, a member of the League of Evil, sitting right between the mobster hit-man and the concert-ticket scalper. But where did this sinister visage come from? For-profit corporations take far mo...

Descartes argues that the only thing I can be sure of with certainty is that my consciousness exists. Everything else is […]

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In Humankind’s humbler beginnings, news and rumor were slow to travel. A merchant ship might dock and bring word from […]

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Humankind’s origins were a brutal quest for survival. Hunting for food and fighting prey with simple tools was tiring work. […]

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Humans are very small, in the Grand Schematics of Things. Large things have a gravitational force. Large things have very […]

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It’s that special time of year, again. Not Groundhogs Day, groundhogs celebrate their love all year long. No, I’m talking […]

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Welcome to the second non-annual G.O.A.T. Awards! Awards season is upon us, and just like the Hollywood elite, the content […]

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The very foundation of Human Civilization is the ability to work together. Cooperation amongst humans has created cities, global networks, […]

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All of humanity has one fundamental commonality, one critical similarity that both binds us as single species and also uniquely […]

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Christmastime has returned to America! Our favorite holiday celebrating the rampant consumerism and fourth-quarterly profits has finally come again and […]

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Humankind is a herd species. We clump together. So within these clumps of people, self-expression becomes important to maintaining our […]

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Who are we? What do we want and what is our purpose? Discovering humanity begins in childhood. Society has a […]

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Being human is to err. The Master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. To achieve greatness, […]

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