The Sabrina Zohar Show

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulation, why regulation has become the new perfectionism, and what capacity really means in dating and relationships. We talk about why someone can love you and still not meet your needs, how to handle being triggered by a text, why "if he wanted to, he would" is bad advice, and what's actually going on when an avoidant partner shuts down.

Masha explains somatic experiencing and...

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do during and after a breakup, from why no contact matters (and why it shouldn't be used to make your ex miss you) to how to handle the urge to text your ex, stop ruminating, and accept that closure is a decision you make, even when you never get the conversation. She also covers processing anger and grief, moving...

The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries and non-negotiables, watch for reciprocity and consistency, and stop falling for potential and breadcrumbs.

Then the relationship dos and don'ts: responding to bids for connection, communicating so your partner actually hears you, handling jealousy without surveillance, and keeping the dating habits that build a healthy, secure relationship.

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This one is about feeling behind. The belief that you missed your window, that everyone else got the memo, that whatever you want is off the table now because of your age. We are answering the questions you keep sending in: how to date after divorce without carrying the last relationship into the next one, how to stop treating the apps like a second job, whether age gaps actually work and where they stop working, and how to make the kids decision when everyone has an opinion about it except you.

We also get into why so...

You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into why outsourcing your worth feels safer than trusting your own read, and what happens when you let someone else's behavior become the verdict on your value. He pulled away, so you must be too much. She chose someone else, so you must be nothing.

Listener questions on telling a gut feeling apart from relationship anxiety and ROCD, love bombing and ghosting, staying in a...

How do you actually get okay being alone? In part one of a three part series, Sabrina answers your questions about being single: how to stop wanting a relationship so badly, how to grieve a breakup or a divorce without rushing the healing, and how to rebuild your identity when it was wrapped up in someone else. She gets into why making dating your hobby keeps you stuck, and the difference between feeling lonely and just being bored.

She also covers the dating app validation loop and the delete then re-download cycle on Hinge and Bumble, why...

What does loving yourself actually look like when it isn't bubble baths, face masks, or affirmations you don't believe? Sabrina breaks down the real difference between self-love and self-esteem, what the self-compassion research says about anxiety and resilience, and why your inner critic isn't your enemy but a survival strategy you learned somewhere. She also tells the story of the guy who said he wasn't attracted to her two months in, why she walked away that night, and how she met her partner five days later.

This one covers how to stop self-abandoning in dating, three questions...

Discernment in dating is not about spotting every red flag, it's about not creating green ones that were never there. Sabrina opens with the story of the emotionally unavailable man she spent years making excuses for, then breaks down the difference between anxiety and intuition, why your gut is quiet and your anxiety comes with a story, and how the halo effect keeps you ignoring obvious incompatibility. She covers boundaries versus walls, whether "high standards" are self-trust or self-protection, how to trust yourself again after being lied to, and why limerence and fantasy keep you stuck in situationships that...

What does it actually mean to do the work? In this solo episode, Sabrina breaks down how therapy talk gets weaponized to dodge accountability, and what real healing looks like when you stop intellectualizing and start implementing. She digs into sitting in discomfort, regulating your nervous system, the difference between ruminating and processing, why journaling rewires your brain, and how inner child work changes the way you show up in dating and relationships.

She also answers a listener question about telling a healthy, secure partner you're not ready, unpacks anxious and avoidant attachment, and shares why detaching...

Why do you keep chasing someone who only shows up halfway? Sabrina breaks down the difference between choosing yourself and waiting to be chosen, and why hope works exactly like a slot machine when you are stuck in a situationship. She reads a listener letter about falling for a married man from the gym, unpacks why ghosting and mixed signals feel so addictive, and explains how intermittent reinforcement turns a fantasy into an obsession you cannot shake.

Plus the first ever listener voice note on modern dating and dating app burnout, why early intensity says nothing about...

What actually makes someone attractive, and why it has almost nothing to do with how they look. Sabrina sits down with Kabbalah teacher David Ghiyam for a conversation that goes completely off script, into her father wound, the dating patterns she repeated through all of her 20s, and why the relationship she almost walked away from for being "boring" turned into the healthiest one she's ever had.

They get into energy and attraction, healing childhood wounds, why safe love feels boring to a dysregulated nervous system, how to know if you're settling or actually in the right...

Certainty in dating is a fantasy. There is no milestone, not exclusivity, not "I love you," not moving in, not marriage, that finally makes relationship anxiety go away. In this episode Sabrina breaks down why your brain would rather have a bad answer than no answer, how anxious attachment turns an unanswered text into a story about rejection, and why chasing, overthinking, testing, people pleasing, and checking your phone every five seconds are ways of managing anxiety rather than dating strategies.

She also separates the two kinds of discomfort: walking on eggshells, accepting breadcrumbs, and tolerating mixed...

Do you go silent mid-argument and only find the words hours later in the shower? Stay in a situationship you can't end? Become whoever they need that week until you can't find your own taste anymore? In this vulnerable solo episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina unpacks the freeze, fawn, and flop behaviors that get mislabeled as being chill, low maintenance, or the "cool girl." She explains why people-pleasing is really self-abandonment, why going blank isn't you being broken, and why the avoidant "they don't care" story is a lie we tell ourselves to feel better.

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The disappearing. The suddenly busy. The phone that comes out the second eye contact gets real. In this episode of the nervous system series, Sabrina breaks down the flight response in dating and relationships: what's actually happening in the body when someone pulls back, why intimacy reads as danger, and why "I just need space" almost never has anything to do with space. Anxious and avoidant attachment both run this alarm, and we've spent years villainizing one and excusing the other instead of understanding either.

Inside: why going cold after a great date isn't self-sabotage, how hyper...

Have you ever fallen for someone's potential instead of who they actually are? In this episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina breaks down why we chase the idea of a person, get stuck in situationships, and keep betting on emotionally unavailable partners who flood us with attention but never follow through with intention. She answers real audience questions about getting discarded, obsessing over an ex, dating someone who won't commit, and knowing when a person is wasting your time.

If you struggle with falling hard fast, ruminating after a breakup, or self-abandoning just to get chosen...

If you have ever asked yourself what is wrong with me, or wondered why you take everything so personally, this episode is for you. Sabrina sits down with licensed psychologist Dr. Jacob Ambrose to unpack rejection sensitivity, why one comment can send you into a spiral, and where that deep fear of not being enough actually comes from. They get into the childhood core beliefs that convince you the problem is you, and how anxious attachment keeps you chasing outside validation just to feel okay on the inside.

From limerence and obsessive thinking to the anxious avoidant...

Why can't you let it go? You typed the text, deleted it three times, and sent it anyway just to get the last word. In part one of a three-part series, Sabrina Zohar breaks down the fight response: keeping score, replaying old arguments, the silent treatment, test texts, and why anger rumination keeps you stuck instead of setting you free. Whether you're single, dating, or years into a relationship, this one is for anyone who can't stop fighting to be right.

Sabrina gets honest about how needing the last word costs you sleep, connection, and the chance...

What is anxiety, really, and why won't it go away no matter how much you overthink it? Sabrina sits down with neuroscientist and anxiety expert Dr. Russ Kennedy (Anxiety MD) to break down anxiety in dating, relationships, and everyday life. They cover why anxiety lives in the body and not just the head, why CBT, EMDR, and medication so often treat the symptoms instead of the root, and how to tell a real alarm from a false one. This one is for anyone who has ever felt anxious, avoidant, or convinced they were fundamentally broken.

They also...

What does compatibility actually mean, and why do so many people walk away from good relationships while staying stuck in bad ones? In this episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina breaks down the broken definition of compatibility most of us absorbed from movies and Disney, and why shared hobbies, an easy connection, instant chemistry, and looking good on paper are not the things that make love last. She brings the research, including what a 20-year study revealed about perceived partner responsiveness and the quiet experience of feeling truly known by your partner.

Whether you're single and...

What does a secure breakup actually look like? Most of us have never seen one, so we don't know it's even possible. In the finale of this four-part breakup series, Sabrina breaks down secure attachment in real terms: the in-person conversation, the honest reason, the clean ending that lets grief actually move instead of looping for years. She lays all four attachment styles side by side (anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure) so you can finally see why the same breakup hits four completely different ways, and why your reaction was never about how much the relationship mattered.

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What is polyamory, and how is it different from ethical non-monogamy? Can an open relationship actually last, and is dating really any different across the gay, straight, and bisexual communities? In this Pride Month episode, Sabrina sits down with writer, actor, and Tell Me Something Messy host Brandon Kyle Goodman to unpack poly, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), open relationships, jealousy, trust, and what every monogamous person can learn from how non-monogamous people communicate.

They dig into how to know if ENM is actually for you, the real difference between non-monogamy and cheating, how to handle jealousy and insecurity...

Ever swing between anxious and avoidant with the same person, reaching for them one minute and running the next? That's not you being broken or "too much." In week three of the Breakups by Attachment Style series, Sabrina breaks down disorganized attachment (also called fearful avoidant attachment): the push-pull, hot-and-cold, on-again-off-again pattern that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Learn what's actually happening in your nervous system, why your relationships keep taking this shape, and why no attachment style ever excuses how someone treats you.

Inside: the research on fearful avoidant attachment in adulthood, a...

Why does an avoidant ex look completely fine after the breakup while you're falling apart? In Part 2 of this 4-part breakup series, Sabrina breaks down avoidant attachment after a breakup using actual attachment research, not the recycled TikTok takes. She explains what deactivation really means in the nervous system, why avoidants register as less distressed in the acute post-breakup period, and what's actually happening when they seem to move on overnight or jump straight into a new relationship.

You'll also learn the three types of avoidant reach-outs (suppression breakdown, the phantom ex phenomenon, and the rare real...

It's 2am, you've checked their Instagram three times, and your body still aches for the person you know wasn't right. In this episode, Sabrina unpacks the anxious attachment breakup: why anxiously attached people chase, ruminate, and spiral after a relationship ends, what new research reveals about the nervous system pull toward an ex, and the one move keeping most anxious people stuck in the loop.

This is part one of a four-part breakup series covering anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure attachment styles. Expect honest talk on post-breakup rumination, no contact, withdrawal symptoms, self-abandonment, and how to stop...

In the first ever live coaching session of The Sabrina Zohar Show, Sabrina sits down with brand ambassador and content creator Judit Moreno for an unfiltered conversation about anxious attachment, the father wound, and why so many of us keep dating emotionally unavailable men. They unpack how childhood shapes adult relationship patterns, what love bombing does to your nervous system, and why self-abandonment can feel like home when chaos was your blueprint for love.

If you have ever wondered why you keep attracting the same partner in different bodies, spiraled in anxious attachment dating cycles, or felt...

We hurt in relationships, but we also heal in them. Sabrina sits down with Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, to map out the actual stages of healing attachment wounds: core wounds from childhood, unmet needs, subconscious rewiring, anxious attachment patterns, somatic work, and nervous system regulation. No secure partner is going to fix you, and this episode breaks down exactly why.

If you are stuck in the same dating cycles, doing all the personal growth content and wondering why nothing is sticking, this one is for you. Thais explains why self-awareness is not the...

If you keep getting the ick with every person you date, the problem might not actually be them. In this episode, Sabrina unpacks shadow work and the ick, breaking down how the parts of yourself you rejected long ago are running your dating life, your relationships, and the triggers that send you spiraling over something small. This is why you keep walking away from available, kind, emotionally present people and calling it intuition.

Sabrina lays out the difference between shadow work, inner child work, attachment styles, and nervous system regulation, and why the healing work most people...

In this raw birthday episode, Sabrina gets honest about the hidden cost of personal growth and what nobody warns you about when you actually start doing the work. From losing friends who only knew the old version of you, to grieving the identity you outgrew on purpose, to realizing success doesn't fix your insecurities or quiet your anxiety, this is the unfiltered truth about healing that the self-help world skips over. If you've ever wondered why your "best year ever" also feels like the loneliest, this episode explains exactly why, backed by Harvard research on identity loss during major...

For the 200th episode, Sabrina tackles the question she gets asked more than anything: how do you actually believe you're enough? This one breaks down where insecurity really comes from, why "just have more confidence" is bullshit advice, and what social psychologist Mark Leary's sociometer theory reveals about self esteem, rejection, and why one mean comment drowns out a hundred compliments.

If you grew up with conditional love, keep dating emotionally unavailable people, or can't stop missing someone who ran hot and cold, this episode is for you. Sabrina covers how to build real self trust, the...

The author of Attached, Amir Levine, M.D., is back with a new book called Secure and a whole new framework for understanding why your relationships feel the way they do. In this episode, we get into the biggest misconceptions about anxious and avoidant attachment, the truth about whether you can actually change your attachment style, why avoidants shut down instead of showing up, what a "closeness overdose" is and why it kills perfectly good relationships, and the five pillars of a secure life built around his CARP framework: consistent, available, responsive, reliable, and predictable.

If you've...

Are you so afraid of losing someone that you have already lost yourself? In this bonus episode, Sabrina answers listener questions about self-abandonment, emotionally unavailable partners, and why holding on to hope in a low-effort dynamic keeps you stuck in childhood core beliefs instead of building the healthy relationship you deserve. She breaks down dating with detachment, the difference between attention and intention, and how to stop performing for people who are not showing up for you.

Sabrina also gets real about fear of rejection, chasing validation, and the mantras that changed her entire dating life. Plus...

What happens when you have to end a relationship with someone who did nothing wrong? This episode covers the breakup nobody prepares you for: leaving someone good, or being left by someone who simply "isn't feeling it." Sabrina breaks down why love and alignment are not the same thing, how to tell the difference between a rough patch and real incompatibility, and why these breakups can hurt more than the ones with an obvious reason.

Whether you're carrying the guilt of leaving or the confusion of being left with no explanation that makes sense, this episode helps...

Closure is a lie, and waiting for it is keeping you stuck. In this episode of the Hard Truth Series, we get into why closure doesn't come from another person, what your brain is actually doing after a breakup, and why the conversation you keep replaying in your head would never be enough even if you got it. We cover the neuroscience of heartbreak, why searching for "why" makes things worse, and how identity loss after a relationship ends is what's really driving your distress.

If you can't stop thinking about your ex, feel like you need...

If you've ever lost interest the moment someone became available, or stayed obsessed with someone who kept you at arm's length, this episode is for you. Part three of the Hard Truth Series breaks down the most common pattern nobody wants to admit: using relationships to collect proof of your worth instead of building real partnership.

Backed by research on rejection sensitivity and anxious attachment, Sabrina unpacks why chasing external validation creates a cycle no amount of love can fix, how to tell if you are dating for connection or reassurance, and what it actually takes to...

Why do you overreact in relationships when the situation doesn't match the emotion? Sabrina sits down with Dr. Nicole LePera, The Holistic Psychologist, to break down inner child wounds, how your nervous system stores childhood trauma before you have words to process it, and why certain dating triggers send you spiraling. They dive into emotional attunement, generational trauma, shame, and anxious attachment patterns.

Dr. Nicole shares reparenting tools from her new book, Reparenting The Inner Child, including how to regulate your nervous system and stop self-abandoning in relationships. If you've ever said "I had a great childhood"...

You've done the therapy, read the books, and know your attachment style... so why does nothing change? In part 2 of the Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you cannot heal your way out of incompatibility. Drawing on real research, she unpacks how to tell the difference between a wrong match and relationship anxiety, why therapy language can become a cage that keeps you stuck, and the line between actual growth and emotional gymnastics.

If you've stayed way past the expiration date convinced the work would eventually pay off, this episode is for you. Sabrina covers the...

Dating with an open heart sounds beautiful until your nervous system has other plans. In this solo In The Trenches audience Q&A episode, Sabrina answers your most raw questions about how to let someone in without losing yourself, how to date after grief, and what it actually looks like to stay present when fear or anxiety is running the show.

From navigating new love after loss to the hard truth about anxious attachment and self-accountability, this episode covers the real work of building a healthy relationship: nervous system regulation, emotional ownership, and learning the difference between...

Ever caught yourself saying "when it's good, it's so good"? In this first episode of the 4-part Hard Truth Series, Sabrina breaks down why you keep falling in love with who someone could be instead of who they actually are — and why potential is just a placeholder for the grief you're avoiding. She dives into the neuroscience of the "prospective brain," the impact bias that keeps you chasing a fantasy, and the 13-year longitudinal study that explains why you lower your standards for the wrong people but can't appreciate the ones who actually show up.

Sabrina gets vu...

Who pays on the first date? When should you talk about money in a relationship? How do you split finances with your partner — and what happens when you don't? Sabrina sits down with Jean and Cherie, the Tiger Sisters, to tackle every uncomfortable money question in dating and relationships — from first-date expectations and financial red flags to prenups, combining finances, and protecting yourself before marriage. If you've ever avoided "the money talk" with someone you're dating, this episode is your wake-up call.

The Tiger Sisters bring their Wall Street, Silicon Valley, and business school back...

If someone keeps texting but never makes plans, says “we’ll see,” or gives just enough to keep you hooked, this episode is for you. We break down breadcrumbing and bare minimum dating, including mixed signals, strategic ambiguity, and future faking—and why inconsistency keeps your brain stuck chasing clarity instead of connection. You’ll learn how to tell the difference between someone who’s genuinely busy versus emotionally unavailable, and why ambiguity fuels anxiety and attachment loops.

We also shift the focus back to you: why accepting breadcrumbs can feel familiar, how nervous system wiring and cognitive bi...