Anger Secrets: Anger Management for Healthier Relationships
Most people don't look for anger management until anger starts damaging the people they love. They try to stay calm. They promise themselves they'll do better next time. They work harder to control their reactions. But the outbursts keep happening. The arguments keep escalating. The tension keeps building at home. The problem isn't simply learning to suppress anger. Lasting anger management comes from understanding anger triggers, improving emotional regulation, addressing the root causes of anger and developing healthier ways to communicate during conflict. That's what Anger Secrets is here to help you do. Hosted by anger expert Alastair Duhs, Anger...
193 - 10 People Who Thought They'd Never Control Their Anger
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
If you've ever wondered whether your anger is just who you are, this episode is for you. These stories show what can happen when people stop letting anger control their relationships and start taking real steps toward change.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares the experiences of 10 men and women who struggled with anger, frustration, losing their temper and the growing distance those patterns created at home. Some were watching trust disappear from their marriage. Others felt disconnected from their children...
192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
You love your partner, but lately something feels different. The arguments go in circles. The distance keeps growing. If you've started wondering whether your anger is damaging your marriage, this episode will help you take the first steps toward turning things around.
In this episode, Alastair shares five practical actions you can take right now if anger is creating tension, distance or repeated conflict in your relationship. These aren't complicated relationship hacks or communication tricks. They're simple changes that help rebuild trust, improve...
191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Most people with an anger problem don't think they have one. They've never been violent. They don't see themselves as angry people. But if your partner is walking on eggshells, your kids are pulling away or the same arguments keep happening over and over, anger may be affecting your relationships more than you realize.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs answers five of the most common questions about anger management. What is anger, really? Why does it keep happening? Is anger always...
190 - The Split Second That Saves Your Marriage
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Most people think anger arrives out of nowhere. One moment you're discussing something ordinary with your partner or family, and the next, you're shouting, regretting what you said and wondering how it happened.
The truth is that anger doesn't take over instantly. There's a split second before the blowup where everything can go differently.
In this episode, you'll learn three simple strategies to help you stay calm under pressure and stop losing your temper before it damages the relationships that matter...
189 - Taking Things Personally Isn't the Problem - This Is
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Most people think taking things personally is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the meaning you attach to what other people say, and how quickly that meaning turns into anger, hurt, or defensiveness.
If you've ever replayed a conversation for hours, felt crushed by criticism or found yourself reacting strongly to a comment that seemed minor to everyone else, this episode is for you. Alastair explains why taking things personally isn't a character flaw but a learned pattern, and how that...
188 - Is Anger Management Change Sustainable? Michael's Story
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Michael, a man in his late 70s who completed Alastair's anger management program 18 months ago, to find out one simple thing: did the change last?
Whether you have tried to control your anger before and slipped back, or you are wondering whether it is even worth starting, this conversation offers a real and honest answer.
Rather than offering theory, Alastair lets Michael tell his own story, from the Christmas visit where...
187 - 10 Rules To Control Your Anger - Starting Today
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares ten rules of anger management that he has refined over more than thirty years of working with clients.
Whether your anger shows up in the big blowups, the sharp comments you didn't mean to make or the slow build of tension your partner can see before you even realise it yourself, these rules give you a practical framework to work with, starting today.
Rather than focusing on a single trick for calming down...
186 - How 6 Hours A Week Could Save Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman, that can fundamentally change how connected, loved and secure you and your partner feel.
Whether your relationship has drifted into silence, feels more like a housemate arrangement or simply lacks the warmth it once had, these habits show exactly where to start.
Rather than offering grand romantic gestures or an overhaul of your entire week, Alastair explains how just...
185 - Why Do I Keep Getting Angry Over The Same Things?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through three powerful mindset shifts to help break the cycle of repeating anger. Whether it is the same argument with your partner, the same trigger at work or the same driver cutting you off, he explains why the pattern keeps happening and what you can do to finally change it.
Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the root of why anger keeps repeating. These are real, practical shifts. And the good news is...
184 - Why Do I Always Say The Wrong Thing When My Partner Is Upset?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through four simple but powerful steps to help you say the right thing when your partner is upset - whether you tend to jump straight to fixing, go quiet or say something that somehow makes things worse.
These are practical, learnable skills that work even when emotions are running high.
Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the heart of why these moments go wrong so often: not because you don't care...
183 - You Can Control Your Anger Faster Than You Think
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through the three tools that actually create lasting change for people who struggle with anger. Whether you've tried to change before and slipped back, or you've started to believe that this is just who you are, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what a different approach looks like.
Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair lays out the three layers of real anger management. From catching it early, to changing the thinking that drives...
182 - 3 Steps to Improve Your Relationship Starting Today
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you improve your relationship starting today. Whether the arguments have become more frequent, the conversations that matter have quietly stopped or there's just a low-level tension that never fully goes away, this episode explains exactly what's getting in the way and what to do about it.
Rather than offering generic communication tips, Alastair gets to the root of what most struggling relationships are actually missing, and walks through three specific...
181 - Feeling Anger Rising? These 3 Exercises Can Stop It in Its Tracks
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical mindfulness tools you can reach for the moment you feel anger starting to build. Whether it's a comment that lands wrong, a situation that spirals or just one too many things going sideways in a single day, these tools work when things are heating up, not just when everything is already calm.
Rather than offering a generic "take a deep breath" and leaving it there, Alastair explains exactly how each tool works, why...
180 - Face-to-Face vs Online Anger Management - Which One Actually Works?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs gives an honest, straight comparison of face-to-face and online anger management programs. Whether you've been Googling your options, looked at a few programs or just aren't sure where to start, this episode cuts through the confusion and helps you make a decision that actually moves you forward.
Rather than giving a vague "it depends" answer, Alastair draws on 30 years of running both formats to tell you clearly which works better for most people and why. And...
179 - Why Anger Management Doesn't Work - And What To Do Instead
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven of the most common anger management mistakes that keep people stuck, even when they're genuinely trying to change. Whether you've read all the books, tried breathing exercises or sat through a course or two, this episode explains why the effort often doesn't stick and what to do differently starting today.
Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair goes deeper - looking at the root causes of why anger keeps coming back and giving you...
178 - 7 Signs You Have an Anger Problem - And What to Do
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be a real problem in your life - and what you can do about it. Whether it's a short fuse, constant irritability or a partner who walks on eggshells around you, these signs are worth taking seriously. And the good news is that recognising them is the first step toward change.
This episode is for anyone who suspects their anger is affecting their relationships, their wellbeing or the people...
177 - Fiona's Story: Controlling What She Could Change
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs talks with Fiona - a small business owner and mother who grew up surrounded by family violence and spent years struggling with anger in her marriage. Just seven weeks into the Complete Anger Management System, Fiona has already made remarkable progress. Her husband has noticed. She has noticed. And the insight that changed everything for her was surprisingly simple.
If you've ever felt stuck in patterns that stretch back to your childhood, Fiona's story will show...
176 - 5 Ways to Handle Someone Else's Anger
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares five practical ways to respond when someone else's anger is directed at you. Whether it's a partner who explodes, a colleague who unloads or a family member who pushes your buttons, how you respond in those moments matters more than you might think.
Rather than fighting back or shutting down, Alastair explains how staying calm, using empathy and setting clear boundaries can completely change the dynamic, without accepting blame or tolerating abuse.
Key...
175 - Why You Keep Losing Your Temper - And How to Stop
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you control your anger before it takes over. If you've ever said something you regret in the heat of the moment, or felt like your anger erupts before you even realise what's happening, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what you can do about it starting today.
Rather than offering generic advice like "count to ten" or "take a deep breath," Alastair breaks down the real mechanics of...
174 - How to Discipline Your Kids Without Losing Control
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever promised yourself you’d stay calm with your kids only to find yourself yelling anyway when your patience runs out? You try the usual parenting tips, counting to ten or staying positive, but in the moment none of it seems to work.
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most discipline advice fails when emotions are already high, and what actually works instead.
You’ll learn how your internal emotional state play...
173 - How One Man Broke The Anger Cycle: Matthew's Story
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck.
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himsel...
172 - The One Word That Stops Anger In Its Tracks
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple but powerful framework designed to help you interrupt anger before it turns into an explosion. Instead of trying to calm down after an outburst has already started, you’ll learn how to recognise the early warning signs of anger and use a practical four-step process to change what happens next.
If you’ve ever felt like anger takes over too quickly, or that you remember coping strategies only after it’s too late, this e...
171 - Why Your Partner Never Hears What You're Trying to Say
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening.
You’ll...
170 - Understanding Your Anger Triggers
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?”
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress.
You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the...
169 - Is Your Anger Healthy or Harmful?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships.
You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safe...
168 - The Small Moments That Are Quietly Destroying Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill.
You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deep...
167 - Five Steps to Rebuild a Relationship After Separation
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
What do you do when the person you love no longer wants to be with you, and anger, fear or past behaviour has broken trust?
In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks directly to those facing one of the hardest moments in a relationship: separation caused by anger issues. With honesty and realism, he explains why rebuilding trust takes time, and outlines a clear, step-by-step path forward for those who are genuinely committed to change.
...
166 - How to Handle Anger in Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever gone to bed replaying an argument over and over in your mind, wishing you’d said things differently, wishing you’d stayed calmer or wishing the damage hadn’t been done?
If so, you’re not alone. And more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner or a bad person. It means something inside you is trying to tell you something, and learning how to listen to that signal can change everything.
In this episode of The Anger...
165 - The 60-Second Window That Could Save Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
You're in the middle of an argument and you know where it's headed. But what if you could change the outcome before things spiral out of control?
In this essential episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals how to recognise the signs of escalating conflict and use simple, proven repair techniques to stop fights before they start and strengthen your relationship instead.
Key Takeaways:
-Every argument offers a choice: escalate the fight or repair the connection.
-The first...
164 - Why Small Things Make You So Angry
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
It’s often not the big things that make you angry. It’s the small stuff that hijacks your day.
In this thoughtful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores why seemingly minor annoyances can trigger such big reactions, and how learning to let go of them can radically improve your relationships, your mood and your life.
Key Takeaways:
-Small events like a comment or forgotten chore often trigger anger because of deeper emotional patterns.
-Reacting in the heat...
163 - The Four Hidden Killers of Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Most relationships don’t fall apart in one explosive moment. They unravel quietly through patterns we barely notice.
In this eye-opening episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the four hidden killers that silently destroy relationships from the inside out. If your connection with your partner feels colder, more distant or just off, this episode might explain why, and what you can do about it.
Key Takeaways:
-Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling are four of the most destructive behaviors in re...
162 - Why Active Listening Could Save Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages, even when you're in the same room? In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals why active listening is the missing link in most relationships, and how mastering it can bring you closer than ever before.
If you’re tired of arguments that go nowhere, this episode offers a better way forward.
Key Takeaways:
-Active listening means being fully present, not planning your reply while your partner is st...
161 - The Real Reasons People Decide to Control Their Anger
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
After an anger outburst, the silence can feel unbearable. In this heartfelt episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs reveals the one essential ingredient most people overlook when trying to change: a powerful personal “why.”
Through real stories from men and women just like you, this episode will help you uncover the deeper reason you want to control your anger, and help you finally break free from the cycle for good.
Key Takeaways:
-Change only lasts when it’s driven by a deep...
160 - Why Defensiveness Is Silently Destroying Your Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever found yourself in an argument before you even realise what triggered it? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how defensiveness quietly damages relationships, and how you can stop it.
Learn why your instinct to defend yourself often masks deeper fears, and how choosing connection over combat can transform your relationship.
Key Takeaways:
-Defensiveness often stems from the fear that we're to blame, even when we don’t want to admit it.
-T...
159 - Stop Blaming Others: The Key to Controlling Your Anger
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever said, “You made me so mad”? In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs unpacks the hidden cost of blaming others for your anger—and the freedom that comes when you take full responsibility for your actions.
If you’re ready to step out of blame, stop the cycle of conflict and take back control of your emotions, this episode offers the insights and tools you need to begin.
Key Takeaways:
-Blaming others for your anger gives away you...
158 - The Truth About Therapy and Anger — Katie’s Story
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
When therapy didn’t work, Katie feared she’d never get control of her anger. Her relationship was falling apart, her parenting was suffering and she was terrified of repeating the cycle of anger she grew up with.
In this inspiring episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs interviews Katie about her powerful journey—how she broke free from past patterns, what finally helped and how her family life has transformed as a result.
Key Takeaways:
-Therapy often focuses on the past...
157 - Do You Want To Be Right — Or Be Happy?
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever felt the urge to prove you're right—especially in the heat of an argument? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares a personal story and a lesson from a truck-driving client that will change the way you think about conflict.
Discover why letting go of the need to be right isn’t weakness—it’s one of the most powerful things you can do to protect your relationships and your peace of mind.
Key Takeaways:
-The n...
156 - How to Build a Stronger, Happier Relationship
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Arguments that start small often end in deep emotional disconnect. In this heartfelt episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how seemingly minor issues can spiral into major conflicts—and how you can change that.
He shares three simple but powerful tips that will help you manage conflict better, communicate more effectively and reconnect with your partner in a meaningful way.
Key Takeaways:
-Conflict doesn’t have to damage your relationship—when handled well, it can actually bring you closer togeth...
155 - Why Anger Hits You So Fast — And How to Stop It
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever felt like your anger comes out of nowhere—one moment you're fine, and the next you're exploding?
In this insightful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs breaks down the real reasons why you might think you get angry so quickly.
By understanding what's truly happening beneath the surface, you can learn to spot the early warning signs of anger, break unhelpful habits and regain control before things spiral.
Key Takeaways:
-Anger rarely comes out of no...
154 - 6 Proven Tips To Control Your Anger Fast
For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.
Have you ever said something in anger that you instantly regretted? In this episode of the Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares six powerful, practical tips to help you stay calm and in control—even in the heat of the moment.
Whether you're struggling with sudden outbursts or lingering tension, these strategies can help you shift from reactive to reflective, strengthening your relationships and your emotional well-being.
Key Takeaways:
-Anger is a habit, not your identity—and habi...
