Anger Secrets: Anger Management for Healthier Relationships

For help controlling your anger, visit https://angersecrets.com/.

Someone hurt you, and you've been carrying it ever since. You've told yourself you're over it, but then their name comes up and it's all right there again, just as sharp as the day it happened. You already know you'd be better off letting it go. Nobody ever tells you how.

If you've caught yourself reliving the same painful moment over and over, or felt it flare up again just from driving past somewhere you used to go, you're not alone. Most people carry this far...

For help controlling your anger, visit https://angersecrets.com/.

Angela never thought anger was her problem. Then she had two little girls, 15 months apart. One morning her three-year-old yelled back and told her to shut up, and that was the moment she decided something had to change.

In this episode, Alastair sits down with Angela, a mum of two who grew up with a short-tempered father. Three weeks into the Complete Anger Management System, she talks honestly about what has already started to shift.

Angela explains how the stress of a new house...

For help controlling your anger, visit https://angersecrets.com/.

It wasn't that bad. Everyone gets angry sometimes. That is what most people tell themselves the morning after losing their temper, and it keeps the real question unanswered. In this episode, Alastair gives a straight answer: five clear signs your anger has crossed the line.

If you've ever gone from calm to furious in seconds, held onto anger for days, or said something to your partner or your kids that you regretted the moment it left your mouth, you're not alone. Most people never get a...

For help controlling your anger, visit https://angersecrets.com/.

Your partner tells you how they handled something at work, and before they've finished the story, you've decided they got it wrong. You don't say it out loud. But they can feel it. In this episode, Alastair explains why judgemental thinking is so hard to switch off, and how to trade quiet criticism for something that actually brings you closer.

If you've ever finished your partner's story in your head, corrected them over something small, or dug in to prove you were right about something that...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people believe their boss, workload or difficult colleagues are causing their anger. But what if that's not actually true? In this episode, Alastair explains what's really driving workplace anger - and how to take back control without changing jobs.

If you've ever left work frustrated, snapped at a colleague, dreaded another meeting, or carried workplace stress home to your family, you're not alone. Workplace anger is far more common than most people realise, but it doesn't have to control your day or your relationships.

...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Five weeks earlier, Cyrus believed he was beyond help. His wife was afraid of him. His children were living with the effects of his anger. Today, his family life looks completely different. This is his story.

In this special episode of the Anger Secrets Podcast, Alastair sits down with Cyrus, a husband, father and farmer who openly shares how uncontrolled anger nearly destroyed his marriage and family. For years, he believed everyone else caused his anger. He thought losing his temper was simply part of who he...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people who become emotionally abusive don't wake up intending to hurt the person they love. But unmanaged anger can quietly become emotional abuse without you ever recognising the pattern. This episode explains how it happens, and how to stop it before it destroys your relationship.

Many people think emotional abuse only applies to extreme relationships. In reality, it often develops slowly through repeated anger, criticism, intimidation, stonewalling, controlling behaviour, or making a partner feel unsafe. These behaviours frequently grow out of anger problems rather than deliberate...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com/.

Every parent loses their patience sometimes. But when anger becomes a pattern, it affects far more than one difficult moment. In this episode, Alastair explains how parental anger shapes your children's emotional wellbeing, and how you can stop the cycle before it becomes their future.

If you've ever watched your child go quiet after you've shouted, or wondered whether your temper is leaving lasting scars, you're not alone. Many loving parents struggle with anger, but few realise how deeply children absorb repeated anger at home. They don't...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why can't I control my anger?" you're not alone. Most people believe anger simply happens to them. In this episode, Alastair explains why that belief keeps people stuck, and where real control actually begins.

Many people think anger is something that takes over without warning. It feels automatic. One minute you're calm, the next you're shouting at your partner, snapping at your children, or saying something you'll regret. But the truth is more hopeful than that.

In this episode...

For help controlling your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people think anger is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the split second between the trigger and your reaction. In this episode, you'll learn how mindfulness helps you create that pause so you can respond instead of explode.

If you've ever found yourself shouting at your partner, snapping at your children or regretting something you said only seconds later, this episode is for you. Alastair explains why mindfulness isn't about meditation or emptying your mind - it's about becoming aware of what's happening before...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat, small disagreements turn into bigger arguments than they should and the relationship feels more like a partnership in logistics than a real connection.

In this episode, Alastair explores one of the most overlooked causes of relationship conflict: emotional disconnection. While many people focus on controlling anger directly, they miss the deeper issue underneath many recurring arguments. When people feel unseen, unappreciated, or...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people struggling with anger, he convinced himself things weren't that bad. By the time he finally decided to do something about it, his marriage was over.

In this episode, Alastair shares Colin's story in his own words. It's an honest and deeply personal conversation about the real cost of untreated anger, the damage it can do to trust, communication...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

The argument is over, but the damage is still there. The frustration. The guilt. The distance. If you and your partner keep finding yourselves trapped in the same painful conflicts, this episode will show you a practical way to start breaking the cycle and rebuilding trust.

In the previous episode, Alastair introduced the Drama Triangle, the hidden relationship pattern that keeps couples stuck in blame, defensiveness and recurring arguments. In this episode, he shares the antidote: the Winner's Triangle, a simple framework that...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most couples think they're arguing about the dishes, the forgotten phone call or something that happened last weekend. They're not.

Beneath almost every recurring conflict is a hidden pattern that keeps both people stuck, and until you see that pattern, the same arguments tend to repeat themselves again and again.

In this episode, Alastair introduces one of the most powerful relationship tools for understanding anger and conflict: the Drama Triangle. You'll learn why people unconsciously slip into three familiar roles during...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Why do so many people lose their temper before they even realise they're angry?

The answer isn't a lack of willpower. It's a lack of awareness. If you can't see anger building, you can't stop it before it damages your relationships.

In this episode, Alastair explains why self-awareness is the foundation of effective anger management and emotional control. Most people don't catch their anger until they're already raising their voice, shutting down or saying something they regret. By then, the emotional...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

If you've ever wondered whether your anger is just who you are, this episode is for you. These stories show what can happen when people stop letting anger control their relationships and start taking real steps toward change.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares the experiences of 10 men and women who struggled with anger, frustration, losing their temper and the growing distance those patterns created at home. Some were watching trust disappear from their marriage. Others felt disconnected from their children...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

You love your partner, but lately something feels different. The arguments go in circles. The distance keeps growing. If you've started wondering whether your anger is damaging your marriage, this episode will help you take the first steps toward turning things around.

In this episode, Alastair shares five practical actions you can take right now if anger is creating tension, distance or repeated conflict in your relationship. These aren't complicated relationship hacks or communication tricks. They're simple changes that help rebuild trust, improve...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people with an anger problem don't think they have one. They've never been violent. They don't see themselves as angry people. But if your partner is walking on eggshells, your kids are pulling away or the same arguments keep happening over and over, anger may be affecting your relationships more than you realize.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs answers five of the most common questions about anger management. What is anger, really? Why does it keep happening? Is anger always...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people think anger arrives out of nowhere. One moment you're discussing something ordinary with your partner or family, and the next, you're shouting, regretting what you said and wondering how it happened.

The truth is that anger doesn't take over instantly. There's a split second before the blowup where everything can go differently.

In this episode, you'll learn three simple strategies to help you stay calm under pressure and stop losing your temper before it damages the relationships that matter...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Most people think taking things personally is the problem. It isn't. The real problem is the meaning you attach to what other people say, and how quickly that meaning turns into anger, hurt, or defensiveness.

If you've ever replayed a conversation for hours, felt crushed by criticism or found yourself reacting strongly to a comment that seemed minor to everyone else, this episode is for you. Alastair explains why taking things personally isn't a character flaw but a learned pattern, and how that...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Michael, a man in his late 70s who completed Alastair's anger management program 18 months ago, to find out one simple thing: did the change last?

Whether you have tried to control your anger before and slipped back, or you are wondering whether it is even worth starting, this conversation offers a real and honest answer.

Rather than offering theory, Alastair lets Michael tell his own story, from the Christmas visit where...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares ten rules of anger management that he has refined over more than thirty years of working with clients.

Whether your anger shows up in the big blowups, the sharp comments you didn't mean to make or the slow build of tension your partner can see before you even realise it yourself, these rules give you a practical framework to work with, starting today.

Rather than focusing on a single trick for calming down...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven simple habits, drawn from the research of relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman, that can fundamentally change how connected, loved and secure you and your partner feel.

Whether your relationship has drifted into silence, feels more like a housemate arrangement or simply lacks the warmth it once had, these habits show exactly where to start.

Rather than offering grand romantic gestures or an overhaul of your entire week, Alastair explains how just...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through three powerful mindset shifts to help break the cycle of repeating anger. Whether it is the same argument with your partner, the same trigger at work or the same driver cutting you off, he explains why the pattern keeps happening and what you can do to finally change it.

Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the root of why anger keeps repeating. These are real, practical shifts. And the good news is...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through four simple but powerful steps to help you say the right thing when your partner is upset - whether you tend to jump straight to fixing, go quiet or say something that somehow makes things worse.

These are practical, learnable skills that work even when emotions are running high.

Rather than offering generic advice, Alastair gets to the heart of why these moments go wrong so often: not because you don't care...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through the three tools that actually create lasting change for people who struggle with anger. Whether you've tried to change before and slipped back, or you've started to believe that this is just who you are, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what a different approach looks like.

Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair lays out the three layers of real anger management. From catching it early, to changing the thinking that drives...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you improve your relationship starting today. Whether the arguments have become more frequent, the conversations that matter have quietly stopped or there's just a low-level tension that never fully goes away, this episode explains exactly what's getting in the way and what to do about it.

Rather than offering generic communication tips, Alastair gets to the root of what most struggling relationships are actually missing, and walks through three specific...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical mindfulness tools you can reach for the moment you feel anger starting to build. Whether it's a comment that lands wrong, a situation that spirals or just one too many things going sideways in a single day, these tools work when things are heating up, not just when everything is already calm.

Rather than offering a generic "take a deep breath" and leaving it there, Alastair explains exactly how each tool works, why...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs gives an honest, straight comparison of face-to-face and online anger management programs. Whether you've been Googling your options, looked at a few programs or just aren't sure where to start, this episode cuts through the confusion and helps you make a decision that actually moves you forward.

Rather than giving a vague "it depends" answer, Alastair draws on 30 years of running both formats to tell you clearly which works better for most people and why. And...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven of the most common anger management mistakes that keep people stuck, even when they're genuinely trying to change. Whether you've read all the books, tried breathing exercises or sat through a course or two, this episode explains why the effort often doesn't stick and what to do differently starting today.

Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair goes deeper - looking at the root causes of why anger keeps coming back and giving you...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be a real problem in your life - and what you can do about it. Whether it's a short fuse, constant irritability or a partner who walks on eggshells around you, these signs are worth taking seriously. And the good news is that recognising them is the first step toward change.

This episode is for anyone who suspects their anger is affecting their relationships, their wellbeing or the people...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs talks with Fiona - a small business owner and mother who grew up surrounded by family violence and spent years struggling with anger in her marriage. Just seven weeks into the Complete Anger Management System, Fiona has already made remarkable progress. Her husband has noticed. She has noticed. And the insight that changed everything for her was surprisingly simple.

If you've ever felt stuck in patterns that stretch back to your childhood, Fiona's story will show...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares five practical ways to respond when someone else's anger is directed at you. Whether it's a partner who explodes, a colleague who unloads or a family member who pushes your buttons, how you respond in those moments matters more than you might think.

Rather than fighting back or shutting down, Alastair explains how staying calm, using empathy and setting clear boundaries can completely change the dynamic, without accepting blame or tolerating abuse.

Key...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three practical steps to help you control your anger before it takes over. If you've ever said something you regret in the heat of the moment, or felt like your anger erupts before you even realise what's happening, this episode explains exactly why that happens and what you can do about it starting today.

Rather than offering generic advice like "count to ten" or "take a deep breath," Alastair breaks down the real mechanics of...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever promised yourself you’d stay calm with your kids only to find yourself yelling anyway when your patience runs out? You try the usual parenting tips, counting to ten or staying positive, but in the moment none of it seems to work.

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most discipline advice fails when emotions are already high, and what actually works instead.

You’ll learn how your internal emotional state play...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever felt like small frustrations slowly build up until suddenly you’re snapping at the person you care about most? You tell yourself you’ll do better next time, but the same pattern keeps repeating, leaving you feeling frustrated, guilty or stuck.

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Matthew, a husband who found himself caught in a cycle of escalating arguments that were damaging trust in his relationship. Although he didn’t see himsel...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces a simple but powerful framework designed to help you interrupt anger before it turns into an explosion. Instead of trying to calm down after an outburst has already started, you’ll learn how to recognise the early warning signs of anger and use a practical four-step process to change what happens next.

If you’ve ever felt like anger takes over too quickly, or that you remember coping strategies only after it’s too late, this e...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever had an argument that started over something small? The dishes, a tone of voice or being late, and somehow ended with both of you feeling hurt, defensive and completely misunderstood?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why most relationship conflict isn’t caused by big problems. It’s caused by small moments where listening breaks down, emotions rise and conversations spiral out of control before either person realises what’s happening.

You’ll...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever gone from calm to furious in a matter of seconds, and only afterwards wondered, “Where did that come from?”

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it’s usually triggered by long-standing patterns that quietly shape how you react in relationships, at work and under stress.

You’ll learn what anger triggers really are, where they come from, and why recognising them early gives you the...

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Is anger always a bad thing? Or are there times when feeling angry actually makes sense?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why anger itself isn’t the problem. The real damage happens when anger is either suppressed or expressed in ways that hurt relationships.

You’ll learn what healthy anger really looks like, how it differs from destructive anger and how to express anger in a way that protects trust, communication and emotional safe...