The Messed Up Gardener
Hello and Welcome to The Messed Up Gardener. This podcast covers all areas of gardening from a beginner, intermediate to advanced level. It covers gardening on any budget, any space, any place. There are no rules when it comes to me, and my gardens and I do it messy. There is nothing more fun than getting your hands dirty and creating that space that gives you joy and abundance. This podcast will give tips, tricks, hacks and methodology’s to make any space work from the tiny indoor garden to the rolling meadows with even a dash of bees, mushrooms an...
Ep 178: Why Some Gardens Feed You Regularly… and Others Don’t
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if your garden is growing plenty of food…
but still not really feeding you consistently?
What if the difference isn’t how much your garden produces…
but how often it gives you something useful?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams breaks down one of the most important shifts a gardener can make — moving from occasional harvests to regular, usable food<...
Ep 177: Stop Letting Harvests Happen By Accident
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if your garden is producing food…
but still not really feeding you?
What if the problem isn’t how much your garden grows…
but whether the harvests arrive in a way you can actually use?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams talks about why so many harvests happen by accident — and how to start turning random garden surprises into useful, regul...
EP 176: The Hidden Weeks That Make or Break a Garden
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if your garden isn’t failing all at once…
it’s quietly losing momentum in the weeks you don’t notice?
What if the problem isn’t the day you plant…
or the day you harvest…
but the hidden weeks in between?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams talks about one of the most overlooked parts of productive gardenin...
Ep 175: How to grow more without more space (or effort)
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
Hi, welcome to The Messed-Up Gardener
Most gardeners think they need more space to grow more food.
A bigger section.
More raised beds.
More containers.
But what if that’s not the real problem?
What if your garden already has the capacity to produce more…
👉 it’s just not being used properly?
In this episode, Esther Williams breaks down one of the biggest misconceptions in gardening<...
Ep 174: Stop Growing the Wrong Crops (This Is What Actually Saves Money)
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if your garden isn’t failing…
it’s just not built to return anything?
Why do so many gardens look productive…
yet still don’t reduce your grocery bill?
And what if the problem isn’t how you’re growing…
but what you’re choosing to grow?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams breaks down one of the biggest blind spots in gardening.
...
Ep 173: Why Most Gardens Fail in the First 90 Days (And How to Avoid It)
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if nothing has actually gone wrong with your garden…
But it just feels like it has?
Why do so many gardens start strong… Only to slow down, stall, and become confusing within the first few weeks?
And what if the problem isn’t what you’re doing… But when you’re expecting results?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams walks you through the stage most gardeners don’t fully unde...
Ep 172: What a $100 Garden REALLY Looks Like (And Why Most People Get It Wrong)
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What does a real $100 garden actually look like?
And more importantly…
👉 would it actually save you money?
Because a lot of people are starting gardens right now…
spending hundreds… sometimes thousands… And still not seeing a real return.
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams breaks down what happens when you strip it all back.
No overbuilding. No unnecessary spend. No Pinterest-perfect setups.
Just...
Ep 171: Why Your Garden Isn’t Saving You Money… (And How to Fix It)
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👉 Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
Hi Welcome to The Messed Up Gardener
Most gardens look productive… But are they actually saving you money?
Or just making you feel like they are?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams explores a question most gardeners never stop to ask.
Because the truth is, many gardens are beautifully designed for enjoyment…
👉 but not for financial impact
That doesn’t mean your...
Ep 170: The Hidden Reason Many People Give Up Gardening
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Most people don’t give up gardening because they didn’t enjoy it.
They give up because the first year feels harder than they expected.
Because what most people don’t realise is this:
The first year isn’t about success.
It’s about learning.
And many gardeners stop just before everything starts to get easier.
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams explores what’s really happening during that first season — and why it can feel frustrating...
Ep 169: Why Knowing How to Grow Food Changes the Way You See the World
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What if the way you see food… isn’t the full picture?
Most people experience food as something finished.
Packaged. Convenient. Ready to cook.
But the moment you start growing your own food…
that perspective begins to shift.
Because once you understand how food is actually grown —
you don’t just change what you eat…
you change how you see the world.
In this episode...
Ep 168: If Supermarkets Closed Tomorrow, Could Your Garden Feed You?
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Free Gardening Resources at the bottom of the show notes
What would actually happen if the supermarkets shut tomorrow?
Would your garden feed you?
Or would it simply provide a few fresh ingredients for dinner?
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams explores a question most gardeners never stop to ask.
Not in a dramatic or doomsday way — but in a practical, thoughtful way.
Because the truth is, many home gard...
Ep 167: Why Sustainable Gardens Get Easier Every Year (And Why Some Get Harder)
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Some gardens quietly become easier every year.
Others slowly become harder — and before you realise it, you feel like you’re constantly catching up… watering more, fixing more, rescuing more.
But the difference usually isn’t effort.
It’s strategy.
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams resets the idea of “sustainable gardening” and explains why the gardens that thrive long-term are almost always built on a few simple systems working together.
Not perfection.
Not expensive products...
Ep 166: The Hidden Mistake Most Gardeners Don’t Even Realize They’re Making
Why Strategic Gardening Always Beats Reactive Gardening
Sometimes the most damaging thing you can do in a garden… is intervene too quickly.
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther unpacks the hidden mistake most gardeners don’t even realize they’re making — reacting to symptoms instead of strengthening systems.
We explore:
• The difference between reactive and strategic gardening
• Why plants respond better to stability than overcorrection
• The biology of “stress stacking” (and how to avoid it)
• How strategic decisions build long-term resilience
• Five practical shifts to move from panic-fixing to...
Ep 165: Autumn Is Where Smart Gardens Win - What to Do Before It Gets Cold
Autumn isn’t the end of the season — it’s leverage season.
In this episode, Esther breaks down how smart gardeners prepare before the cold really hits. You’ll learn the key mindset shift for autumn, the five strategic moves that set your garden up for winter success, and the common mistakes that quietly create stress later.
No hype. No overwhelm. Just steady, practical preparation.
Because winter doesn’t defeat gardeners — winter reveals preparation. 🌿
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, leave a review, or send me your qu...
EP 164: Transplant Shock Isn’t About Transplanting — Here’s A low-stress system for seedlings that flop after planting out
Have you ever planted out a seedling, stood back proud… then come out the next morning to find it flopped over like it’s regretting all its life choices? 😅
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, we’re breaking down “transplant shock” in a way that actually makes it feel manageable — because most of the time, it’s not about you doing something wrong… it’s about your plant adjusting to a sudden environmental reset.
You’ll learn how to tell the difference between normal transplant stress and real damage, plus a calm, layered plan that stabilises seedlin...
Ep 163: Slugs & Snails Are Back — Here’s the Calm Plan That Actually Works
Ep 163: Slugs & Snails Are Back — Here’s the Calm Plan That Actually Works
A targeted, low-tox slug strategy for seedlings and soft growth
Slugs are back — and if you’ve walked outside to find seedlings chewed overnight, this episode is for you.
In this calm, practical mini-masterclass, Esther breaks down a low-stress, realistic approach to managing slugs and snails without turning your garden into a chemical zone or exhausting yourself trying to “fix everything.”
This episode isn’t about eradicating slugs.
It’s about protecting what...
Episode 162: Tabletop Veg Is the 2026 Trend — Here’s How to Actually Make It Work - Tiny pots, real harvests, and the few things that matter
Growing food is changing — and this episode explains why tabletop veg is having a real moment, not just a social media one.
In Episode 162 of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther Williams breaks down how growing edible plants at waist height — on tables, benches, decks, balconies, and patios — is becoming one of the most practical, accessible ways to grow food in 2026 and beyond.
This episode is calm, practical, and designed for real life. No hype. No pressure. Just clear guidance for anyone who wants to grow food in a small space, with limited time or energy...
Ep 161: Most Gardening Advice Sounds Helpful — Here’s What Actually Is 5 myths, 5 truths, and the things that make a real difference
5 myths, 5 truths, and the things that make a real difference
Gardening advice is everywhere — and a lot of it sounds helpful.
But for many gardeners, it quietly creates more pressure than progress.
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther slows things right down.
After a week shaped by extreme weather, disrupted travel, and a reminder of how quickly conditions can change, this episode becomes a steady, grounding pause — not a push to do more.
This is a calm, supportive reality check for tired gardeners who care...
Ep 160: What to Plant in January: Back to Basics — The Most Reliable Plants for This Month, Wherever You Live
January gardening can feel deceptively simple… and strangely exhausting.
Whether you’re dealing with peak summer heat in the Southern Hemisphere or deep winter planning in the Northern Hemisphere, this episode is a calm, practical reset for tired gardeners who want clarity without pressure.
In this episode, Esther walks you through seven reliable plants you can plant in January, no matter where you live — plus how to choose what actually fits your energy, space, and season right now.
This isn’t about doing everything.
It’s about choosing one or two things...
Ep 159: The 3-List Garden Permission Slip. What you’re allowed to quit, ignore, and do badly
Gardening doesn’t always need motivation — sometimes it needs permission.
In this quieter episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, Esther shares a gentle reset for overwhelmed, tired gardeners: three things you’re allowed to quit, three things you’re allowed to ignore, and three things you’re allowed to do badly — without guilt.
Recorded during a heatwave and a low-energy day, this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to earn your place in the garden. Showing up imperfectly still counts.
If your garden has started to feel like one more thing, this one’s for...
Ep 158: When the Weather Cries Wolf
The forecast has been acting like that dramatic friend who’s “being such a diva” every second day… and if you’ve ever rearranged your whole garden plan for “rain at 3pm” that never arrived, this episode is for you.
In this mini masterclass, Esther breaks down a simple, realistic system for gardening when the weather is unreliable — without becoming a full-time meteorologist, and without your garden turning into chaos.
We cover the real reason weather chaos feels exhausting (decision fatigue), how to build a garden that’s less reactive to extremes, and the “Weather Trust Test” you can...
Ep 157: The 3-Goal Garden Rule (Because You’re Not a Garden Employee)
It’s Twixmas… that weird in-between week where time doesn’t exist, your diet is 80% snacks, and your garden has decided to grow 9cm overnight just to humble you.
In today’s episode, I’m sharing what we’ve been up to on our little modern-homesteading adventure — harvesting elephant garlic, drying it in our very glamorous garage drying room, and turning not-quite-perfect dahlias into something surprisingly magical: air-dried petal confetti.
But the real reason you need this episode?
Because if you went into the holidays with big garden plans a...
Ep 156: Outsource to Nature — Plants That Do the Work While You’re at Work
If your garden currently survives on “thoughts and prayers” because you’re flat out with work, life, Christmas chaos, kiwifruit, H&S… and maybe even relocating a 8m plastic house because it’s basically a solar oven… this one’s for you. 😅
In this episode, we’re talking about how to design a garden for real life — not a gardening show.
A garden that still looks good and produces food… even when you miss a weekend (or three).
In this mini masterclass, you’ll learn:
✅ What “self-maintaining” actually means (not zero work… just less...
Ep 155: "Batch Gardening — Do the Work Once, Coast All Week”
Batch Gardening — Do the Work Once, Coast All Week - How to garden like meal prep — one big push, lots of lazy wins.
If you only have one decent chunk of time each week (or fortnight) to garden, this episode is your permission slip to stop feeling guilty and start gardening smarter. Esther breaks down “batch gardening” — a meal-prep style approach where you do the heavy lifting in one focused session, then let your garden quietly coast until you’re back.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:
· Use the 3 batch categories — soil, pl...
Ep 154: The Bare-Minimum Watering Plan — Keeping Plants Alive When You’re Running on Fumes
The Bare-Minimum Watering Plan — Keeping Plants Alive When You’re Running on Fumes” A realistic survival guide for tired, overcommitted gardeners.
You meant to water… and then work, kids, pets, emails, and life happened. By the time you remembered, it was dark and the guilt had already kicked in.
If that sounds painfully familiar, this episode is for you.
In this mini masterclass, I walk you through a realistic, no-perfection-required watering plan for tired, overcommitted gardeners who still want their plants to have a fighting chance.
We’ll cover:
· ...
Ep 153: “The ‘Someday Garden’ Trap — How to Start with the Garden You Actually Have”
Stop waiting for perfect conditions and grow something now.
“We’ll really garden when we move.”
“Once we build the raised beds.”
“When I’ve got more time… next season.”
If that sounds like you, this episode is your loving smack on the hand with a trowel. 💚 We’re talking about the gap between the perfect garden in your head and the scruffy reality out the back — and how to start now with just one messy square metre.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:
· Spot the “Someday Garden” trap th...
Ep 152: Lazy Mulching — How to Protect Your Soil Even When You’re Too Busy to Garden
Feeling like your garden is either drowning or turning into crunchy toast — sometimes in the same week? 😅
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m talking lazy mulching: the simple, real-world way to protect your soil, keep plants alive, and save your future sanity… even when you’re absolutely shattered.
Between overflowing water tanks, heat waves, a shed-that’s-pretending-to-be-an-office, 2kg strawberry harvests and butter beans for days, our place is busy, messy, and very real. That’s exactly why mulching has become my 24/7 garden helper — it keeps things going when I can’t.
In...
Ep 151: The 3-Bucket System — Never Waste a Weed, Leaf, or Kitchen Scrap Again
Ever stared at a pile of weeds or kitchen scraps and thought, “Now what?”
In this episode, Esther shares the simple 3-Bucket System — a no-stress, no-science-degree method for turning everyday garden mess into free, nutrient-rich compost and fertiliser.
From overflowing water tanks to feijoa flowers and hubby’s booming flower beds, Esther kicks off with a real-life update from her own messy, abundant garden before diving into how three humble buckets can transform the way you handle waste:
Why You’ll Love This Episode
It’s realistic, funny, and designed for...
Ep 150: “The Odd Rule — Why Uneven Planting Looks So Darn Good”
Ever notice how some gardens just feel right? In this short and sunny episode, Esther unpacks one of gardening’s simplest design secrets — the rule of odd numbers. Discover why planting in threes, fives, or sevens creates flow and balance, how our brains naturally prefer a little imperfection, and when it actually pays to break the rule entirely.
From hydrangeas to veggie beds, Esther shares real examples from her own garden that prove small tweaks can make a big difference. You’ll walk away knowing how to group your plants for a more natural look — plus a q...
Ep 149: “Beehind Closed Doors: What Really Happens When You Grow Under Cover”
Hello and welcome to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener!
Today, we’re pulling back the netting (literally) to talk about the sneaky pollination problems that happen in greenhouses, tunnel houses, and bird-netted spaces — and the easy fixes that bring the buzz (and the fruit set) back.
We’ll celebrate a little milestone too: this week marks three years since the show launched in November 2022. If you’ve been here since the messy early days — thank you! 💚
🌸 What You’ll Learn
• Why flowers don’t...
Ep 148: “Chaos Gardening: Why Letting Go Might Grow More Than You Think.”
Hi & Welcome to another episode of The Messed Up Gardener
Spring is in full swing here at The Messed-Up Gardener HQ—sunflowers about to pop, kiwifruit vines gearing up to flower, bees on overtime, and the greenhouse going bonkers. All that colourful, buzzy beautiful mess got me thinking about the trend taking root across NZ: Chaos Gardening. In this episode, I share what it is, why the wild works, and how to try it (without losing your mind).
In this episode you’ll learn
What chaos gardening is and...Ep 147: “Barrel Dreams: The Pros and Cons of Growing Nursery Trees in Big Pots While You Wait for Your Land”
Ever wandered through a nursery, spotted the perfect tree, and thought, “One day… when I have my own land”?
In this heartfelt episode, I share how hubby and I are building our future orchard right now — one barrel at a time. With over 100 tubs of citrus, raspberries, blueberries, feijoas, lilies, and dahlias thriving in pots, we’ve turned our rental into a “Barrel Army” and learned a ton along the way.
You’ll discover the real pros and cons of on-growing trees in large barrels — from saving money and shaping your plants early to the heavy lifting, watering...
Ep 146 Hot House Secrets — How to Grow Smarter in Pots & Soil
It’s been one of those weeks washing almost dry… and then it rains. Hubby’s flat-out with the bees, and I’ve been fighting off a chest/sinus bug (would not recommend). The silver lining? My happy place under plastic. Even on the rough days, a quiet potter in the greenhouse resets everything — which is exactly why today’s episode is all about unlocking the secrets of growing under cover.
Step inside with me: warm, earthy air, tomato-leaf scent, fat drops of condensation, and two kinds of growers — the pot people and the plot people. Why does one side l...
Ep 145: The Harvest Hustle - 6 Things to Pick Now Before They Go to Waste (Save your crops and your sanity with timely harvesting)
Spring is in full swing here at Shesther’s, and while the frosts are just behind us (fingers crossed past Labour Day!), the gardens and orchard are pumping out produce faster than we can keep up. Hubby’s been on frost duty with the incinerators, the kiwifruit are looking promising, and thanks to all that late-night effort, the veggie and flower beds are thriving too.
But here’s the catch — harvest timing is everything. One day you’ve got tender lettuce, the next it’s bolted. A zucchini hides under a leaf and suddenly it’s the size of a cric...
Ep 144: The Garden Mood Boost: 4 Simple Changes to Lift Your Space (and Your Spirits)
This week in the garden has been full of surprises — tomato flowers already popping, zucchinis producing their first harvest despite frosty mornings, and hubby’s sunflowers growing like they’re on steroids. We’ve even adopted a scruffy little black kitten who’s decided my husband is “his person” (much to his delight and my eye-rolling amusement).
Between all that chaos and progress, I’ve been reminded of something important: our surroundings deeply affect how we feel. A thriving zucchini, a cheerful splash of colour, even a kitten curled up in the corner — they all shape the atmosphe...
Ep 143: The Weekend Wonderlist – 6 Mini Garden Projects That Look Huge
What a week it’s been! Between wild spring winds rattling our roof, chasing runaway bins down the orchard driveway, and watching trees topple across town, it’s been chaos out there. But amidst the gusts and garden madness, there’s also been joy—sunflowers planted, dahlias popping, capsicums cranking in the greenhouse, and the chickens back in full laying mode.
This week’s episode is all about weekend wins—the little jobs that make your garden look like you’ve spent days working, when really it only took a couple of hours. Because let’s be honest, mos...
Ep 142: “The Garden Goldmine: 7 Things in Your Backyard You Didn’t Know Were Valuable”
What if your garden was hiding treasures you’ve been walking past every day? 🌱
In this episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m digging into seven overlooked “goldmines” that can save you money, grow healthier plants, and make your garden feel abundant without another trip to the garden centre. From tired old potting mix that still has life left, to self-seeding volunteers, fallen leaves, kitchen scraps, rainwater, and even weeds — you’ll learn how to spot hidden value and put it to work.
I’ll also share a few personal stories (like the scraggly compost-heap tomato that outper...
Ep 141: “The 5×5 Garden Glow-Up: 5 Tiny Tweaks for Big Growth in 5 Days”
Spring has officially arrived — but if you’re feeling a little behind in the garden (like I am this year after our big move!), don’t worry. In this week’s episode of The Messed-Up Gardener, I’m sharing how five tiny, under-20-minute tweaks can transform your garden in just five days.
We’ll talk about the power of micro-actions — the little shifts that deliver big rewards — and I’ll walk you through five quick wins you can try this week:
These are simple, low-cost actions with a high “effort-to-impact” ratio. By the end of the week, you...
Ep 140: The Doomsday Garden Kit – Listener Q&A Special (Part 3)
Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Messed-Up Gardener! I’m Esther Williams, your host, and as always — I’m absolutely buzzed to be here with you today.
Over the past two episodes, we’ve been digging deep into the Doomsday Garden Kit: what you’d pack if you had to grow food from scratch in a survival situation. And wow… the response has been incredible. You sent me so many questions that I had to dedicate this final part of the series to answering them directly.
But first, a little side story. My best friend...
Ep 139: The Doomsday Garden Kit – Listener Questions Answered (Part 2)
Last week’s episode on the Doomsday Garden Kit got a huge response — and my inbox lit up with questions! One of you cheeky listeners asked, “Ok Esther, you’ve told us how to grow the food… but how do we actually cook it, store it, and not lose our minds while doing it?”
Fair point — so today, we’re diving into Part 2.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through:
🌱 Fuel & cooking (because you can’t eat raw kumara forever)
🌱 The garden first-aid kit: aloe, kawakawa, calendula & garlic
🌱 Advanced preservation hacks (fermenting, smoking, solar dehyd...
