The Gray Divorce Podcast

In this episode, Andrew takes a closer look at how major media outlets, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and ABC News, are covering the rise in divorce among older adults. 

The conversation offers an encouraging perspective on gray divorce: while the financial and emotional challenges are real, life after divorce can also bring new opportunities, stronger relationships, and a renewed sense of purpose. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on Li...

Is going to court always the worst outcome in a divorce? Or can the willingness to litigate actually help you avoid a long, expensive legal battle? 

In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Olivia St. Clair Long, founder and principal attorney of Olong Law in Evanston, Illinois. Drawing on her extensive background in commercial litigation and family law, Olivia offers a practical, no-nonsense perspective on navigating divorce, particularly when one spouse is unwilling to cooperate. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 st...

What can a billionaire's divorce teach someone who's simply trying to keep the house, divide a 401(k), and make retirement work on one income? 

More than you might think. 

In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Dror Bikel, a Manhattan matrimonial trial attorney with nearly three decades of experience handling high-stakes divorces and prenuptial agreements. Dror is also the author of The 1% Divorce: When Titans Clash, a revealing look at what happens when extraordinary wealth meets the emotional turmoil of divorce. 

Andrew and Dror explore the world of ultra-high-net-worth div...

What happens to your health insurance when you divorce before you're eligible for Medicare? 

For many people navigating gray divorce, health insurance has quietly existed in the background for decades, often through a spouse's employer. Once the divorce is final, that coverage can disappear, leaving someone in their 50s or early 60s facing potentially years of expensive health insurance before Medicare begins at age 65. 

In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley explains the health insurance "cliff" that can accompany divorce after 50. He breaks down how COBRA works, why its cost can come as...

Divorce doesn't automatically have to mean lengthy litigation, escalating attorney fees, and handing control of your future to a judge. 

In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley sits down with David Fein, a fourth-generation attorney, certified divorce mediator, and someone who experienced gray divorce himself. After more than 30 years working in the complex legal, regulatory, and public policy side of the energy industry, David expanded his practice into family law and mediation following his own divorce experience. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us...

Artificial intelligence is changing how we work, communicate, organize information, and make decisions. But what happens when AI enters the already complicated world of gray divorce? 

In Episode 103, Andrew Hatherley welcomes back family law attorney Nicole Sodoma. 

From organizing financial documents and understanding unfamiliar terminology to improving communication with an ex-spouse, AI can be incredibly useful. But lines need to be drawn: AI isn't your attorney, financial advisor, therapist, or decision-maker. Andrew and Nicole also explore privacy concerns, state-specific legal information, AI-generated evidence, and why human judgment remains essential. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be...

Mediation can be a faster, less expensive, and less stressful alternative to litigation—but that doesn’t mean walking into the process is easy. 

In Episode 101, Andrew Hatherley sits down with Lyerly Spongberg, a DCA-certified divorce coach specializing in pre-mediation coaching, to discuss how preparation can dramatically change the mediation experience. 

From managing fear and emotional triggers to understanding the difference between positions and interests, Lyerly explains how divorcing individuals can enter mediation better prepared to negotiate, communicate, and make decisions that support the life they want after divorce.

Thanks for listening! We'd be ver...

What have 100 episodes—and nearly a decade since experiencing gray divorce firsthand—taught Andrew Hatherley? 

In this special milestone episode, Andrew steps away from interviews to reflect on the journey that led to The Gray Divorce Podcast, the lessons he's learned from nearly 100 guests, and the incredible resilience of people rebuilding their lives after divorce. 

From financial planning and discernment counseling to adult children, alternative divorce processes, and overcoming fear later in life, this episode is both a celebration of how far the podcast has come and a look ahead at the future of gray divorc...

In Episode 99, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Nicole Sodoma, founder of Sodoma Law and one of the Southeast's leading family law attorneys, to discuss one of the most overlooked risks during divorce: social media. 

From vacation photos and new relationships to LinkedIn profiles, text messages, and even "likes," Nicole explains how your online activity can impact your credibility, increase litigation costs, and complicate negotiations. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Episode 98 explores the emotional and financial realities families face when a parent decides to remarry later in life. Why do adult children often react so strongly? How can parents protect both a new spouse and their children? And what estate planning strategies can prevent future conflict? 

This episode provides practical guidance for families navigating second marriages, blended families, and the difficult—but essential—conversations that can preserve both relationships and legacies.

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solut...

Gray divorce doesn't just divide assets—it often transfers decades of financial responsibility overnight. 

In Episode 97, Andrew Hatherley shines a light on a growing issue facing women after divorce: the gap between the financial responsibility they're about to inherit and the financial confidence many have been given the opportunity to develop. 

Andrew explores the coming Great Wealth Transfer, why women are uniquely impacted by longevity and divorce, and how financial coaching can help transform uncertainty into confidence. He also introduces a new coaching program designed to help women organize, stabilize, protect, and plan for their fina...

How do finances shape dating and relationships after gray divorce? 

In Episode 95, Andrew Hatherley sits down with Dr. Lauren Harris, researcher and Assistant Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of New Hampshire, to explore how older adults approach love, money, independence, and remarriage later in life. 

From prenups and inheritance concerns to caregiving and adult children, dating after 50 looks very different from our younger years and financial independence plays a big role.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Ple...

High-conflict divorce can feel endless, emotionally exhausting, and financially devastating, especially later in life. 

In Episode 96, Andrew Hatherley welcomes Karen McMahon, high-conflict divorce strategist, to explore emotional regulation, post-traumatic growth, adult children, high-conflict personalities, and why healing—not just the legal settlement—is the true path to freedom after divorce.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Social media may seem harmless—but during divorce, it can quietly intensify conflict, damage relationships, and even impact legal outcomes. 

In Episode 94, Andrew explores the hidden dangers of social media during divorce, particularly for those navigating gray divorce and later-life transitions. From emotional escalation and online comparison to privacy risks and legal consequences, Andrew explains why thoughtful digital behavior matters more than ever during one of life’s most stressful experiences. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Soluti...

What if the key to a better divorce isn’t just hiring a lawyer—but building the right team from the start? 

In Episode 93, Andrew Hatherley sits down with Melissa Murphy Pavone, (CDFA) to discuss how a proactive, team-based approach can help you navigate divorce more efficiently—and avoid costly mistakes. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Social Security decisions can mean the difference between financial security and costly mistakes—especially after divorce. 

In Episode 92, Andrew Hatherley is joined by Regina Hess, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), CFP®, and founder of Forge Wealth Management, for a deep dive into how Social Security works in mid-to-late life divorce. 

From eligibility rules and common misconceptions to real-life scenarios and survivor benefits, this episode breaks down what you need to know to maximize your benefits—and avoid leaving money on the table.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podc...

How do global conflicts—like rising tensions with Iran—impact your investments, especially if you’re divorcing or nearing retirement? 

In Episode 91, Andrew Hatherley breaks down what major geopolitical events really mean for financial markets and, more importantly, for people navigating gray divorce or entering retirement. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Divorce can feel like climbing a mountain—exhausting, uncertain, and sometimes overwhelming. But what if the view at the top offers strength, clarity, and a new beginning? 

In Episode 90, Andrew Hatherley speaks with Oona Metz, therapist, writer, and author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. Drawing on 15 years of experience helping women navigate divorce, Oona explains how the emotional journey unfolds—and how the hardest chapters can ultimately lead to personal growth and transformation. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transc...

What happens when gray divorce collides with a cancer diagnosis—and the response is laughter?

 
In Episode 88, Andrew Hatherley is joined by Greg Schwem, veteran stand-up comedian, corporate speaker, and author of Turning Gut Punches into Punchlines, for a candid, insightful, and often funny conversation about surviving—and growing—through life’s toughest disruptions. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

What if divorce didn’t have to mean courtroom battles, skyrocketing legal bills, and emotional devastation? 

In Episode 88, Andrew Hatherley welcomes three members of the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota — family law attorney Janna Hefty, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Michelle Leisen, and marriage and family therapist Brian Burns — for an in-depth conversation about collaborative divorce and why it may be a better alternative to litigation. 

With Divorce with Respect Week (March 1–8) bringing national attention to this approach, this episode explains how collaborative law works, who it’s for, and why education is the first step toward a bet...

What happens when a divorce settlement looks perfect on paper—but falls apart at the mortgage desk? 

In Episode 87, Andrew Hatherley welcomes back Tami Wollensak, Certified Divorce Lending Professional and mortgage industry veteran, to explore one of the most overlooked risks in gray divorce: real estate financing after settlement. 

From mortgage assumptions and refinancing timelines to income qualification and retirement strategies, this episode reveals why planning before you sign a settlement agreement can save you from costly surprises later.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to th...

Sex and intimacy don’t disappear with age, but they do change. Andrew Hatherley welcomes JenMG, intimacy coach and educator, for a candid conversation about sex, desire, and connection in midlife and beyond. 

From long-term marriages and sexless relationships to rediscovering pleasure after divorce, this episode explores how intimacy evolves with aging bodies, changing hormones, and deeper self-awareness, and how reclaiming it can transform life after gray divorce.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on L...

Why is January called “Divorce Month? Why do divorce filings spike in the new year? 

Andrew explains that marriages don’t suddenly fail in January—rather, many couples postpone action until the holidays are over. Contributing factors include: 

To avoid a short-lived or poorly executed divorce strategy, he emphasizes the importance of education, preparation, and professional guidance rather than emotional urgency.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe...

In Episode 84, Andrew talks with Amanda Mason, founder of the Solagree, about the innovative new approach to divorce that replaces courtroom battles with cooperation, predictability, and peace of mind. 

Amanda—an experienced family law attorney and creator of this groundbreaking process—shares how Solagree blends mediation, arbitration, and flat-fee transparency to help couples resolve their differences without ever stepping foot in court. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Would you help your ex if they needed you?

 
In Episode 83, Andrew chats with Elizabeth Verwey, author of Brave New Endings: True Stories of Caring for an Ex, to discuss how people show care for former partners through illness, aging, and life’s unexpected challenges.  

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

When Oprah Winfrey dedicates an episode of her podcast to Gray Divorce, people pay attention. In Episode 82, Andrew Hatherley shares his reflections on Oprah’s recent discussion, “Gray Divorce and Adult Children: The Fallout for the Family,” offering insight into what the episode got right—and what it overlooked. 

From missing male voices to underexplored financial realities, Andrew breaks down the nuances of gray divorce that go beyond the television spotlight and into real life. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement...

How do you handle the holidays after a late-life divorce? In Episode 81 of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew Hatherley welcomes back Dr. Carol Hughes—renowned psychologist, mediator, and author of Home Will Never Be the Same Again—to discuss how individuals and families can navigate the emotional challenges of divorce during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and other meaningful seasons. 

This heartfelt conversation explores loneliness, boundaries, family traditions, and finding peace amidst change. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow...

Equity compensation—like restricted stock units (RSUs) and stock options—can be one of the most confusing (and valuable) assets in a divorce. In Episode 80, Andrew welcomes Laurie Itkin, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and founder of The Options Lady, to demystify this complex topic. 

Laurie shares how equity compensation works, what divorcing couples need to know about taxes, vesting, and division, and the biggest mistakes to avoid when stock-based pay enters the marital balance sheet. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transc...

How do you start one of the hardest conversations of your life—the one where you tell your spouse you want a divorce? 

In Episode 79, Andrew Hatherley speaks with family law attorney Alexandra Geczi, about the six steps to approaching this emotional and delicate moment with honesty, compassion, and clarity. 

From emotional preparation to timing and communication, Alex shares insights on how to minimize conflict, foster understanding, and set the stage for an amicable separation. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars...

Is political polarization just a national issue—or is it playing out in our marriages too? In Episode 78, Andrew Hatherley explores how today’s divisive political climate may be impacting relationships in later life. Through personal observations and expert insight, this episode asks: could our political obsessions be contributing to the rise in gray divorce? 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

What if your financial plan didn’t start with your money, but with your life? In Episode 77, Andrew dives into the transformative power of life-centered financial planning, especially for those navigating the challenges of gray divorce. Discover how to prioritize purpose, relationships, and personal goals—without waiting for a “magic number” in your retirement account. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Andrew is joined by Lori Hawkins, a Certified Divorce Real Estate Expert (CDRE™) and seasoned Realtor® who specializes in guiding divorcing couples through the emotionally charged process of selling the family home. With neutrality, clarity, and a client-centered approach, Lori ensures smoother transitions and smarter financial outcomes. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Life insurance is often misunderstood in the divorce process—especially in gray divorce. In Episode 75, Andrew breaks down how different types of life insurance play into divorce settlements, spousal support protection, and marital asset division. Whether you’re the one paying or receiving support, this episode will help you make smarter insurance decisions during divorce and beyond. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Andrew is joined by Melissa Farag, a family law mediator, former divorce litigator, and host of the High Vibe Divorce podcast. A recovering litigator turned compassionate conflict-resolution guide, Melissa brings a transformative approach to divorce through insight-based mediation. She shares how curiosity, emotional intelligence, and a non-adversarial mindset can change not only the divorce process—but the life that follows it. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

In this episode, Andrew breaks down the complexities of annuities in divorce—one of the most misunderstood and often mishandled assets in marital separation. Whether you’re receiving or dividing annuities, understanding how they’re taxed, valued, and distributed is key to securing a fair financial settlement. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Andrew is joined by Hirsch Serman, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, CPA, and trained mediator. Hirsch helps navigate the complex financial terrain of divorce with a values-based approach, empowering clients to take control of their financial future. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

In this solo episode, Andrew takes on the “F” word in divorce—and no, it’s not the one you think. While many professionals warn against using the word “fair,” Andrew digs deeper into another emotional force that holds even more power over midlife divorce: fear. 

Drawing from personal experience, neuroscience, and psychological research, Andrew explores how fear can intensify as we age, how it impacts our decision-making during divorce, and what we can do to move through it with more clarity and control. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast an...

Andrew is joined by Certified Divorce Coach® James Traub. James helps men (and women) navigate the divorce process with clarity, emotional resilience, and purpose—especially those in midlife facing the complex realities of separation, identity shifts, and life after marriage. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

In this episode of The Gray Divorce Podcast, Andrew tackles one of the most emotional and financially complex aspects of late-life divorce, the fate of the family home. From affordability to emotional attachment to tax implications, this episode offers a deep dive into how to make thoughtful, informed decisions about selling or keeping the house after divorce. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!

Andrew is joined by Certified life and mindset coach Nicole Comis. Nicole partners with her clients to break through unconscious patterns, strengthen their mindset, and build the clarity, confidence, and courage to go after what they truly want. 

Thanks for listening! We'd be very grateful if you'd subscribe to the podcast and give us 5 stars! Please visit Transcend Retirement or Wiser Divorce Solutions. Follow Andrew on LinkedIn too!