Raising Godly Boys Minute

Did you ever make a mud pie?

Maybe your son has. That’s where you mix water and dirt into a thick, gooey mixture. Then after slapping the mud into a hamburger-sized patty you decorate it with twigs and pebbles.

Boys still like getting dirty in the backyard. But at some point, it’s time to clean up.

As a parent, teach your son that there’s a time to be messy and dirty, but also a time to wash up and clean up. Be intentional in helping your son know how to bathe...

Do you have unreasonable expectations?

As a parent, you love your son and want him to succeed at everything he does. You want him to earn the highest grades in class, score the most points at the game, and have the greatest artistic talent.

But unreasonable expectations can cause frustration—for both you and your son.

Even though it’s fine to motivate your son to achieve success, be careful that your high expectations don’t cause him to become discouraged, angry, and resentful. Ask the Lord to guide you in knowing how to mot...

Do you ever use the smiley emoji while texting?

That emoji helped launch World Smile Day, which is celebrated the first Friday in October. On that day, people are encouraged to smile at people around them.

Fortunately, you don’t need an official holiday to smile. It’s something you can do every day. Of course, life doesn’t always run smoothly. Health issues, work conflicts, and financial concerns may catch you off guard. Or perhaps your son discourages a smile from you because he doesn’t like the rules you’ve set in place for his ow...

Do you ever use the smiley emoji while texting? 

That emoji helped launch World Smile Day, which is celebrated the first Friday in October. On that day, people are encouraged to smile at people around them.

Fortunately, you don’t need an official holiday to smile. It’s something you can do every day. Of course, life doesn’t always run smoothly. Health issues, work conflicts, and financial concerns may catch you off guard. Or perhaps your son discourages a smile from you because he doesn’t like the rules you’ve set in place for his own...

You know that irritating song, “The wheels on the bus go round and round”?

Well, sometimes, the routines of parenting also feel like they just keep rolling along, day after day.

Wake up—get the kids ready for school—make breakfast—drive to work—finish work—help the kids with homework—and so on and so forth.

When the routines of life feel repetitive, introduce new ways to keep boredom at bay. In the car, play trivia games together. At the dinner table, tell funny stories about your childhood. Before bedtime, listen to an audiobook.

Cara decided that her son won’t be allowed to have a TikTok account. Annoyed, he told her, “I’m the only kid in my class who doesn’t have one. Why don’t you let me have one?” Cara paused. “Well, why do you think I have this rule?”

“Well,” her son said. “I’ve heard about the TikTok challenges that are dangerous or illegal. So I guess I understand that part.”

Listening to her son’s points, instead of lecturing, led to a healthy discussion. Cara’s boy still wasn’t sure he agreed, but by the end of the ta...

Sam asked his dad if he could quit playing the cello. Sam’s dad was surprised since Sam had always loved playing, but was discouraged because none of his friends shared that passion. Instead of allowing him to quit, Sam’s dad encouraged him to keep playing, and he helped his son find some local music groups to play in.

Years later, as Sam accepted a music scholarship to a university, he turned to his dad. “Thank you for not letting me give up.”

Extracurriculars are something you’ll have to prayerfully consider as a parent. Bu...

Do you like it when seasons change?

If you’re a parent, you know what it’s like to be exhausted. That’s because each season of your son’s life requires huge amounts of time and energy.

You may feel like your baby will never sleep through the night, or your toddler will never get potty trained, or your teenager will never stop testing your patience.

When you feel overwhelmed, take heart. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To everything there is a season.”

There’s a season for learning how to ride a bike, for appl...

What developmental stage is your son in?

David Thomas, a family therapist, has divided a boy’s life into five stages.

Until age four, boys are in the “explorer” phase. When they turn five, they enter the “lover” stage. The third stage for our sons  is ages nine through twelve– the “individual.” Next is stage four, the “wanderer.” And finally, there’s the “warrior” phrase– between age eighteen into the mid twenties.

When we as parents understand the phases our son is going through, it helps us develop realistic expectations for him. We also can give our son some gr...

Are you disciplining your son, or are you naming him?

Many parents are guilty of using phrases like this with our son: “You are so messy” or “You are so disrespectful to me.” But family therapist David Thomas reminds us that, to our boy, it may sound like we are “naming” him. And hearing those phrases can lead a boy to believe that he is simply a messy or disrespectful person.

Instead, David suggests reframing the situation by saying: “Son, I’ve noticed you’re stuck in a pattern of disrespect.” That way, it’s possible to address th...

Ever strike a match?

A single match—or even a single spark from flint and steel—can start a fire. And if provided with enough fuel, that small fire can quickly grow into a large and powerful force.

The same can be said for words. A simple word of encouragement could be the spark that encourages your son to accomplish incredible things.

If your son is struggling with school or sports or social activities, give him some tips and pointers in a kind and patient way. Then, when you see progress, say, “Awesome job,”...

Stuck in traffic? Use the time to teach your son a valuable lesson.

David felt his blood pressure rising one day while driving. He said to his son, “I’m getting really frustrated. How about we turn on some music so I can think about something else?” 

A few days later, David’s son was working on some math homework. He looked at his dad and said, “Dad, I’m getting really frustrated with this homework. Can we turn on some music so I can think about something else?”

Our kids learn so much from obser...

He was told he’d never walk… but God had other plans.

When Glenn Cunningham was eight, his legs were burned badly in an accident. Doctors suggested amputation, but his parents didn’t allow it. Against all odds, Glenn started walking again, and eventually, running. Years later, Glenn broke the world record mile time, giving all the glory to God.

Just like Glenn’s experience, the world will put limits on our son’s hopes, dreams, and abilities. If your boy expresses an interest in a challenging or nontraditional career, such as a musician, artist, or actor...

Want to give your son a boost of confidence? Try this.

Let him plan a fun activity for your family. This could be a day or weekend trip to a zoo, a baseball game, a water park, or a concert. Give him a budget, and help him research buying tickets, planning meals, and booking a hotel.

While on the trip, stay back and let your son take the lead with things like talking to the person at the ticket counter. When you return home, sit down with your son and evaluate the experience together, giving...

Does your son need his grandparents?

It’s true that there are many children who are raised without their grandparents who do just fine. But child development researchers have found that children who feel relationally close to a grandparent tend to show higher levels of kindness, better school performance, and a better attention span.

Of course, many times grandparent relationships can be complicated, and even full of hurt. If your relationship with your parents,or your spouses’ parents, is estranged, prayerfully consider reengaging. Working through conflict and showing forgiveness will not only be beneficial to you...

Are you trying too hard with your son?

It’s been a long day, and you and your son are raking leaves. It’s rare that you have one-on-one time with your boy, so you feel pressure to start a conversation about something important– like grades, or friends, or God.

But fellow parent, the pressure is off. Just doing simple tasks together like yard work, building model airplanes, working on an old car, or riding bikes can be incredibly meaningful– not because of the words you say, but because of the time spent together.

Beca...

Who will your son be in ten years?

In day-to-day parenting, it’s easy to get caught up in how our sons are acting today. Today, your son will throw a tantrum when you don’t let him buy a toy at the store. Today, he might not seem to pay attention when you read the Bible with him. Today, he’ll roll his eyes when you remind him to practice his violin.

But fellow parent– take heart. Your son will grow up. And when he does, he will begin to see that all along, although...

What if you let your son be the expert?

Your boy is surrounded by adults telling him what to do– buckle his seatbelt, pay attention in class, and be nice to his sister. While this guidance is necessary, it can be frustrating for him. So what if you took some time to let him teach you something?

If he’s little, let him take the lead when playing toy trucks. If he’s into video games, grab a controller and ask for a tutorial. You can even compliment him on something simple– such as the way he l...

Are you praising your boy’s effort, or his outcomes?

When Mitchell achieved something, such as winning a soccer game, or a high score on a test, his parents expressed a lot of excitement, lavishing praise on him. Inside, Mitchell began to ask himself, what if I didn’t win or get a good grade? Would my parents still love me?

What about you? Do you praise your son more for his good results than you do for a good effort or a great attitude?

Make a point to compliment him by saying thin...

There is a catch-22 of every boy’s life.

He craves independence and freedom. But he also still wants and needs the attention and approval of his parents. 

Be sure to set aside some time each week for intentional time with your boy.  Invite him on a hike or a fishing trip. Take him along when you need to go pick up something from work. Ask him to help you with a task, like staining the back deck.

This isn’t the time to pester your son with questions, or lecture him about behavi...

Who’s your favorite superhero?

Boys love superhero movies—especially when characters like Superman and Thor travel to earth from distant space, fight the bad guys, and save humans from total annihilation.

These films capture our attention, but it’s important to remember that they’re fictional. If your son wants to talk about superheroes, mention the greatest superhero of all. Not only is Jesus all-powerful and all-knowing, but he also loves us beyond comprehension. That’s why He paid the punishment for our sin on the cross. And because He conquered death, He now offers us...

Time is a curious thing.

You wish you had more time to enjoy life, but there never seems to be enough spare time to have a good time. That’s because time flies.

You rush to work, arriving just in the nick of time. Or when at the grocery store, you grumble because you’re losing time.

In the race to make the most of your time, don’t forget what’s truly important. Spend quality time with your son. He’s growing up super fast. Don’t squander your time by wasting time on less...

The tyranny of the checkout line.

If you’re a parent, you probably cringe whenever you have to wait in line at the grocery store. That’s because young kids see the checkout aisle as a carnival of fun.

“Dad, can I have a candy bar?”

“Not today.”

“What about this racecar?”

“No. Put that back.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so!”

It’s easy to grow frustrated when kids whine for stuff at the store. But use the occasion to teach your son important lessons about fi...

Ready for some stats?

Statistics indicate that most people live at least 75 years. That life expectancy equals 900 https://www.traillifeusa.com/raisinggodlyboysmonths or 27,394 days. 

But statistics are only an average. Some people live longer. Others shorter. Even though this is a sobering thought, Psalm 90:12 reminds us, “to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

When we understand that life is short and unpredictable, we shift our focus from the temporary to the eternal. And in doing so, we recognize the God-given responsibility of training our sons to become godly men. ...

Coffee’s on!

It’s Saturday morning. You had hoped to get some extra sleep, but your kids are already running around the house. As you drag yourself out of bed and pour yourself a cup of coffee, take a moment to consider this COFFEE acronym:

C stands for Christ. Draw closer to him!
O stands for opportunity. Parenting is a privilege, even when it tests your patience.
F stands for faith. Keep Christ first in all that you do.
F also stands for family. Stick by each other through thick and thin...

How strong is your son?

When boys reach middle school, many of them take a sudden interest in how strong they are. They like to do things like arm wrestle with their dads or compete in push-up contests. Some boys even begin lifting weights to bulk up.

Strength training is a great way for boys to build muscle and endurance, but boys aren’t the only ones who need exercise.

As a dad, are you exercising your parenting skills? Are you intentionally strengthening your communication abilities? Guiding your son in becoming a godly ma...

Where’s your WD-40?

When a door hinge squeaks or a bike chain becomes rusty, what do you spray on it? Probably WD-40. The spray lubricant works so well that around 80% of American households have a can somewhere in their garage.

But WD-40 wasn’t easy to create. Engineers developed dozens of mixtures until formula number 40 proved just right.

As parents, WD-40 helps us remember that good things take time to develop. It’s easy to grow frustrated when our sons don’t mature as quickly as we’d like. Maybe they squeak out excuse...

Shortcuts. We all kind of like them.

As you drive around town, do you ever take a shortcut? Maybe there’s a light that stays red too long. Or perhaps a street that’s always packed with cars. In these cases, we like shortcuts that save us time and frustration.

That’s fine for driving, but in the parenting journey, there are no shortcuts. The process of training your son to become a godly man can’t be rushed. You may wish your son learned a skill faster or matured more quickly, but becoming annoyed won’t he...

Music to your ears?

Ludwig van Beethoven is recognized as one of the greatest composers of all time. But did you know that he wrote five sonatas and his famous Ninth Symphony while completely deaf? 

The secret to his success was his passion for music. That and a whole bunch of hard work and dedication.

As parents, we may not have the musical genius of Beethoven, but we can still create wonderful harmony within our homes. Begin by providing your son a consistent tempo of training, and a steady melody of encouragement. Add t...

Got a minute?

Each day contains 1,440 minutes. That sounds like a huge number, but those minutes are quickly used up. On average, we sleep 408 minutes, work 500 minutes, and eat for 67 minutes each day. Getting ready in the morning, driving across town, and running errands devours even more time.

This leaves only a few hundred minutes available for actual free time. The question is: How are you spending those free minutes? If you’re like ordinary people, you spend it watching TV or surfing social media.

But instead of being ordinary, be extraordinary by in...

Is it time to focus?

If you have a magnifying glass, take it outside on a bright sunny day. Show your son how to raise or lower the lens until a beam of light focuses on a single point. With a steady hand and a little patience, that concentrated light becomes so intense that it can catch dry grass on fire.

Use this activity as an object lesson. Remind your son that if life ever becomes so busy that it begins crowding out his time with the Lord, he needs to refocus his attention. Sports...

Do you have a security camera?

Around 1 million American homes are burglarized every year. That’s why home video-camera systems are more popular than ever.

But wouldn’t it be great if you could as easily monitor your son’s activities when he’s away from home? That way you could make sure he isn’t being harassed by school bullies—or tempted to do wrong when hanging out with his buddies.

Even though you can’t monitor your kids 24/7, you can do something more effective. You can pray! Ask God to guard your son’s hea...

Scared much?

The command to “fear not” is repeated throughout the Bible. Not just occasionally, but a total of around 150 times.

The repetition seems overblown, but God knew we needed the reminder. This is especially true when we consider the many secular influences that are trying to conquer the hearts and minds of our sons.

The war on gender, the ridicule of biblical teaching, the erosion of traditional values—the list goes on and on.

When the sinful ugliness of today’s world attacks your son, teach him to stand strong on the s...

Detour ahead!

As you drive down the highway, you’ll encounter many road signs. But one of the most annoying is the detour.

When our plans of traveling to our destination are hindered, we grow frustrated by the delay and inconvenience.

But detours don’t only happen on the highway. The parenting journey also has them. Perhaps you love football, but your son doesn’t. Maybe he likes to read, but you’d rather wrestle with him.

Whatever the detour to your original plans and expectations, take comfort in knowing that God is i...

How do you talk to your son?

When Cynthia’s son was little, she frequently called him pet names, like “Bubs.” One day, when her son was twelve, he said “Please don’t call me that anymore.” Cynthia was surprised, but then later, she understood. Her son was becoming a man, and wanted to be treated as such.

Follow Cynthia’s lead– when your son becomes a preteen, drop any childlike nicknames and begin to refer to him as a young man, not a boy.

Pediatrician Dr. Meg Meeker also suggests using phrases such as “I like...

Here’s a parenting strategy to try with your son…try the “walk and talk.”

When you need to address a behavior or share some difficult news, it can be tempting to lecture your son. But if you sit him down, look him in the eye, and start talking, your boy will probably avert his eyes and lose focus.

Try this instead. Lace up your walking shoes, put the dog on its lead, and take your son for a long walk around your neighborhood. As you walk, calmly talk, with short and to-the-point sentences.

Psyc...

Does your son have a gremlin?

An author named Rick Carson created a metaphor out of the destructive creatures from the popular 80s movie. He suggests that negative thoughts are like gremlins– destroying our self esteem.

With the rates of depression continuing to rise for young men today, it’s safe to assume that our sons struggle with their own thought-gremlins. So what can we do to help them “tame the beast,” so to speak?

Proverbs 23:7 reminds us that, “as someone thinks within himself, so he is.”  First, model positive self-talk.  When you mess up, inste...

Does your son need you?

When Christina’s son turned 12, he stopped talking and sharing things with her and, instead, went to his dad for advice. Christina wondered if she would ever feel close to her son again.

But moms like Christina don’t need to worry. This separation is not only common, but necessary. Teen boys focus all of their energies on watching their dad, or dad-like figures in their life, in order to see what it truly means to be a man.

If that healthy detachment from mom is successful, young men...

Have you tried this Scripture memory trick with your son?

Every boy has a different learning style– auditory, visual, kinesthetic, or reading and writing. You don’t have to know exactly what category your son falls into. The key is to simply  use each learning style to memorize the verse together.

Listen to the verse through a Bible reading app. Look up the verse in a physical Bible. Make up simple hand motions for each word of the verse. Then, have your boy write out the verse each day. Don’t forget to memorize the referen...

Here’s a parenting tip: buy a mini fridge.

As your son enters his teenage years, he will begin to spend more time with his friends than with you. It’s a normal part of development. But there is something that can draw any teenage boy and his friends back to your home every single time– snacks!

Buy an inexpensive mini fridge and put it in a gathering area of your home, like a back deck or a basement. Stock it with snacks, waters, and sodas, and tell your son that it’s there for him and...