Raising Godly Boys Minute

Integrity. We sometimes call it, “Honor,” or “Our Word.”

If we say, “You have my word,” we wish for that person to believe us and trust us. Not just now, but in the future as well.

Yet, Integrity is a difficult thing for young men to build in today’s society. They are surrounded by peers, cultural icons, and even relatives who lie to “save their backsides.”

The Bible says, “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.”*

God said we could believe...

John Eldredge writes,  “Men want a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That is what is written in their hearts. That is what little boys play at. That is what men's movies are about. You just see it. It is undeniable.”

In today’s world, those desires can become distorted, twisted, or boys can be shamed out of righteous desires to pursue the lies society paints with glitter and holds up as bait.

You can affirm your boys in their desires for adventure, victory, and love, and do it with pu...

Do you know how microwave popcorn works?

Each kernel has a tiny drop of water inside. When that drop of water is heated up, the kernel explodes into popcorn!

Here’s what I want to hone in on– even though they are placed in the same bag and heated in the same microwave— each kernel will turn into popcorn at different times.

In the same way, your son will develop at his own rate. It’s very normal for boys to develop at a slower rate than girls, and then eventually catch up. But ofte...

How much food can one boy eat? What about ten boys? If your son is anything like mine, they can put away some groceries.

David and the other leaders planned ahead, and had a cooler full of food for the boys' outdoor leadership training retreat. What they did not count on was the fish.

Camping right next to a lake, the boys spent every free moment with a line in the water, built a fire, and cooked fish for breakfast, lunch, and supper. David went home with 90% of the food he brought to the campout!<...

It’s getting harder and harder to find programming on TV, movies in the theaters, or books in the bookstore to which we, as parents, feel comfortable exposing our children.

Guarding their hearts and minds becomes infinitely more difficult the day you hand them their first smartphone.

Because boys are typically very visual, in both their learning and what stimulates them emotionally, our “visual society,” with all of its ungodly trappings becomes a literal minefield, slowly destroying their boyhood innocence, one blast at a time.

We know the saying: “Garbage in, Garbage out.” Jesus phra...

Have you ever felt like an outsider? Like you didn’t fit in?

God created us with an innate desire to belong, to connect with others, to be part of a community.

Our sons are no different. Even when they act uninterested, hide in their room, or say they don’t care, they still long to fit it. They want to join with others and experience the thrill of being part of something bigger than themselves. Our job is to steer them toward a group with healthy goals and positive influences. Pray about a place for...

Does your son know how to succeed?

A young boy was talking to JD, an infectiously happy disc-golf expert who drove trucks for a living.

Eyes crinkling, JD told the boy, “I figured out the secret to making money as a truck driver.  Wanna hear it?”

The boy nodded eagerly, and JD answered with a smile, “Keep the left door closed.”

What JD meant was, “don’t stop unnecessarily; keep on driving.”

Whether your son is climbing a mountain, practicing for football or soccer, or learning a trade, the secret to succe...

Teach your son to do the best he can with what God has given him.

Violinist Niccolo Paganini was playing a piece in front of an audience when, one by one, his violin strings began to snap. Finally, Niccolo was left with only one single working string. Unfazed, he finished the piece on the single string he had left.

This is a wonderful example of focusing on our strengths. Our Creator has a specific purpose for every young man’s life. But sometimes, it’s easy for boys to only look at their weaknesses and deci...

Tim Allen once said, “Do you know what causes sibling rivalry? Having more than one kid."

Worldly speaking, this is true. And funny. However, from a biblical perspective, the cause of sibling rivalry can reside in an “only child” household, too, for the ultimate cause is our sinful nature. The selfish cries of “Mine!” can manifest themselves in the presence of friends or relatives just the same.

Jesus taught us that the entire Law of God can be summed up in two steps: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength...

Is your son ready to face life?

Would you like him to be?

Giving your son challenges to overcome strengthens him to take on more. 

Hiking a misty morning trail, sweating and pushing himself on the football field, or learning the thrill of shooting his kayak down a roaring rapid, powering through the river with eager strokes all build in him a mindset of success to overcome what life brings him.

Leonardo DaVinci once said, “Obstacles cannot crush me.  Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star...

“You’re not listening.”

Have you said this to your son lately? Maybe he was clicking his pen or fidgeting with a toy rather than paying attention to your words.

He appears to be ignoring you. However, his annoying behavior could be what helps him understand your instructions.

Boys can’t process sentence after sentence after sentence. Typically, they are kinesthetic and learn best when physically engaged in an activity. So, rather than sitting across from your son, try talking with him while participating in an activity together. Shoulder to shoulder, rather than eye to e...

Does your son have a direction?  Has he chosen what he wants his character to be?

You can help him do this, you know.

When you do, help him choose a character not based on pleasure or self, but on fulfilling God’s purpose for his life.

Albert Einstein once said, “To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle.”

Don’t raise your son as cattle.  Raise him to be a godly...

Teach your son to be a friend to all– even to those who are missing buttons. 

In the classic children’s book Corduroy by Don Freeman, a little stuffed bear sits on a store shelf. Children see the bear and consider purchasing him. But when they see that Corduroy is missing a button on his overalls, they put him back on the shelf.

One day, a child decides to buy Corduroy, despite his missing button. When she takes him home, Corduroy thinks, “I’ve always wanted a friend.”

Your son is watching the way you tre...

Have you ever wanted to talk to your son?  Like, really talk?  Life can come at them hard and fast in today’s world.

Chris was concerned about his son after cancer took his wife.  His son always said he was fine, but Chris wondered.

On a campout with their troop, when all the rock-climbing and tower-building was complete, Chris and his son went to fish.  As the sun was setting and Canadian geese circled in to settle on the opposite side of the pond, Chris’ son said simply, “Mom would have liked this.”

Chris wa...

Almost all of us have been bullied or observed someone bully others. How do we help our sons stand up to a tormentor without retaliating or being a pushover?

Devon joined the swim team last summer. A few teammates made fun of him because he wasn’t part of the “in” crowd. Others saw but didn’t know how to help. When Devon asked his parents what to do, they told him, “Just continue to be the person you are. Treat others the way you want to be treated.” And he did. At the end of season, Devon won th...

As soon as you found out you were having a son, you probably started dreaming about what he would be like.

Maybe you started dreaming about what he would grow up to be. Maybe you even laid out your old football jersey, wondering if your son would be a quarterback like you were in high school.

Maybe. But maybe not. Many times, sons surprise us with their interests. You might expect him to love sports, but he may prefer to do something completely different–  like fix computers or bake apple pie.

Whatever your boy...

What is the allure of camping?  Why do children want to sleep in tents, wander trails with flashlights, climb trees, and have adventures?

Painter Vito Campenella once said, “The world is all sense, life, soul and body, the image of the Almighty, fashioned to glorify Him with power, wisdom, and love.”

God’s power is evident in his creation, and often, he can speak to us there when we are away from the distractions of screens.

How much more important is it for your son?  Rivers, mountains, and starry nights are great ways to teach...

God sees the x-ray of your son’s heart.

Brad Henry went to the doctor because of some knee pain. Looking at the x-ray, the doctor asked Brad, “Have you ever been shot?”  Brad answered, “Yes, thirty-five years ago when I was rabbit hunting!”

It turned out that a piece of bullet had been lodged in Brad’s knee for decades.

As Brad’s story illustrates– X-rays can see what the human eye cannot. And in the same way, a crucial lesson we must teach our son is that God sees the depths of his heart.

Every night at bedtime, Jane would kiss her five-year-old son’s cheek, and say, “I love you so much.”

One night, her son said, “Mom, I know you love me. But are you proud of me?”

That’s a true story that Dr. Emerson Eggerich shared while teaching about his book, Love and Respect.

Hearing her son’s question, Jane realized her son was already craving respect. She changed her approach. At bedtime, started putting her hand on her son’s shoulder and saying, “I am so proud of you.” Every time she did, her son would p...

Does your son have a “spotter”?

In NASCAR, each driver has a “spotter.” It’s a person who stands high above the racetrack and communicates, through a radio, what’s behind, around, and ahead of the driver.

As Brad Henry points out in his book Destination- The Winner’s Circle, every young man needs a spotter. They need someone who has a wider perspective, who can point out potential issues behind and ahead of them.

Unfortunately, young men tend to listen to the spotter more closely if that person is NOT a parent. Start helping...

Could your boy be a hero?

Chris and his friends ran down to the beach ahead of their leaders when two ladies, frantic and crying, came running to them pointing out to sea.  Their brother, a weak swimmer, was caught in a strong current, and was fighting for his life, unable to make it to shore.

Two of the strongest swimmers raced out to save him as the others formed a human chain, wading into the current, helping their friends and the near-drowning brother to safety.

Surrounding your son with good friends who k...

Want to teach your son right and wrong? The outdoors is a great place to start.

When you’re hunting, camping, or hiking, natural consequences are everywhere. If you don’t aim your shot well, you won’t harvest a deer. If you fail to pitch your tent correctly, it will tumble around you. If you don’t consult the weather forecast, you may get caught in a rainstorm on your hiking trail.

Always supervise your son, and be prepared to assist when needed. But on your next outdoor adventure, let your son take the lead. An...

Can you be sure you are raising your children properly?  How can you know you are right?  With so many different voices yelling at you from social media, friends, and the world, how can you know what is true?

For instance, science mistakenly used to tell us margarine was better than butter, and eggs would kill us.  Who can you trust these days?

Baroque sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini once said, “The most wonderful virtue of all is truth, because ultimately it is revealed by time.”

Raise your children in the truth.  God never changes...

Every night at bedtime, Jane would kiss her five-year-old son’s cheek, and say, “I love you so much.”

One night, her son said, “Mom, I know you love me. But are you proud of me?”

That’s a true story that Dr. Emerson Eggerich shared while teaching about his book, Love and Respect.

Hearing her son’s question, Jane realized her son was already craving respect. She changed her approach. At bedtime, started putting her hand on her son’s shoulder and saying, “I am so proud of you.” Every time she did, her son would p...

Is it easier for you to fix something yourself rather than ask your son to help? If so, you’re not alone.

One wife asked her husband to let their ten-year-old help him change the oil in their car. He told her he’d tried in the past but ended up frustrated. His son didn’t listen, couldn’t focus, and kept dropping tools. The task took twice as long.
Can you relate?

Even though teaching our sons how to take care of household problems, like changing the oil, may cost us time, it’s worth th...

Have you ever prayed over your son’s room?

Consider doing this the next time your son is at school or asleep.

Standing at your son’s bedroom door, pray Psalm 121:8: That the Lord will watch over his comings and his goings.

Then, walk over to his bedroom window, and pray Matthew 6:33- that your son will seek first God’s kingdom and righteousness.

By his bedside, pray Psalm 4:8- That your son will lie down and rest in peace, because the Lord alone makes him dwell in safety.

And st...

Has your son ever been afraid?

On a coastal night hike, the youngest boys in the group were scared when odd lights began flashing across the sky.  They grew more terrified as they hiked closer until they were directly underneath the lights!

Turning the corner, they were delighted to find the source of the mysterious lights was a lighthouse in the distance; the lighthouse beam reflected off a power line and appeared to shoot across the sky.

In life and on the trail, following experienced mentors and surrounding your son with other young m...

What comes to mind when you hear the word reflector?

Maybe you think of a car’s taillight or those glittery objects that stick up in the center of the road. A reflector takes the light it receives and redirects it outward.

In the darkness of today’s culture, Christians have a responsibility to reflect the true light of the world. The question is, are you doing that?

Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

Be b...

Don’t forget to enjoy life with your son.

If you’re like many parents, you are very concerned with parenting your son well. You work hard to help him succeed in school and learn responsibility. You research the best discipline strategies for him. You pray for him to know the Lord.

Those things are excellent. But don’t forget to kick back and have fun with your boy, too.

Sit on the porch and play fetch with the dog together. Hop on bikes and find a new trail. Make ice cream sundaes. If you...

Did you charge up your cell phone last night?

Mostly likely, you did. That meant plugging it into a power source so that electricity could recharge its battery. Each night, you probably recharge your phone so that it’s ready to be used throughout the next day.

As a parent, it’s vital that you also take time to rest and recharge. This could take the form of physical relaxation, emotional support, or spiritual refreshment. There are many ways to recharge your internal “batteries,” but the key is to figure out what works for you, and then...

Is your son destined for greatness?

Baroque sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini once said, “If you want to know the extent of a man’s ability, give him something difficult to do.”

Today’s society wants to give everyone a prize for showing up, and award everyone an ‘A’ for turning in the assignment.  The temptation to accept the easy ‘A’ and the prize with no victory creates a world with no champions.

Break the mold!  Challenge your son!  …the cold, early-morning air broken by the crunch of gravel under his hiking boots as he ascends a peak, th...

If your son flops down on the couch and says, “I’m bored” — take notice.

God made boys mentally, emotionally, and physically different from girls. Because of that, they need to engage in activities that they are passionate about . . . activities that involve both mind and body.

So, what’s your son passionate about?

Dad, help him discover his strengths and talents. This might involve trying a little bit of a whole bunch of activities. Take him rock climbing. Sign him up for karate classes. Give photography a chance.

Eventually, your son will devel...

Are you afraid your son will lose his way?  This world is full of alluring distractions that can lead our children down dark paths, seeking to devour them.

In the midst of so many lies, how can they know the truth?

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in Sherlock Holmes, “...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

Against the wisdom of this world, the improbably simple truth of the gospel stands alone.  Teach your son to never touch this world’s glittering array of lies by showing him how...

A young boy was playing with his pet goldfish, when he accidentally killed it.

Scared he would get in trouble, the boy, named David, lied about what happened to his fish.

Immediately, he felt guilty. He confessed the lie to his mom as tears streamed down his face. His mom said, “David, Jesus loves you no matter what you have done.”

That little boy was David Frey, who grew up to be the lead singer of the Christian band Sidewalk Prophets. He wrote a song about that experience, called “You Love Me Anyway.”

Did you listen to your parents, or did you listen to your friends?

Friendships can define a boy’s life.  More than that, friendships in a group can provide identity.  There is a reason sports teammates will fight viciously for one another on the field.  It’s also why gangs are so prevalent– it gives boys a sense of belonging, and can drive them to do things they know are wrong.

How can you help your son choose?  It doesn’t have to be left to chance.

You can give him godly friends who will ins...

Show. Don’t just tell.

In Philippians 3:10, Paul says, “I want to know Christ.” He isn’t talking about head knowledge. In both the Greek and Hebrew languages, the word knowledge is experience based. Paul was saying that he longs to experience God in all of His glory.

That should be our heart’s cry as Christian parents. We can take our son to church and tell him about the importance of a relationship with Jesus. But the best way to teach our boys is to show them.

Let your son see you meeting wi...

Theodore Roosevelt famously said,

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

But how? How do we as parents give our sons the chance for glorious triumphs?

Break free of the tyranny of screens!  Go outdoors, and teach your son to test his mettle against a lofty mountain peak, a wicked fastball, or paddling a canoe down...

Your son craves four things.

First, he craves belonging– to “fit in.” Second, he wants a sense of competence. He needs to feel “good enough.” Third– boys need to know their worth. And the fourth thing that boys crave is a sense of autonomy. They want freedom and independence.

The next time your son is upset or angry, it may be a good idea to go through this list in your head. Which craving is your son lacking?

Then, once it’s identified, help your son find age-appropriate, healthy, ways to fulfill that desire. For in...

How can you train your son into good character, character that will last, character that will see him become a man of responsibility and action?

The allures of society can drown your son in ease of life, pleasure, and infinite time-wasting.  Many young men simply fail to do anything with their lives.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Irving Stone wrote of Michelangelo in The Agony and the Ecstasy, “...his own integrity… forced him to do his best, even when he would have preferred to do nothing at all.”

There is...

It was just three simple words.

Evangelical Louis Palau was fighting terminal lung cancer. During that time, someone asked him, “After you pass away, if you could send a message down from heaven to all believers, what do you think you would say?”

Palau thought for a moment, then responded with three simple words: “Go for it.”

That kind of God-rooted courage is one of the most important traits to instill in our son.
When he’s little, this looks like letting him climb and explore in age-appropriate ways. When he’s older, this...