THESE GUYS!

"I hurt my arm last night. What'd you do? Slept." There is absolutely nothing worse than waking up on a deflated air mattress at 3 a.m. with your arm tucked like a chicken wing. We all know the tragic reality of realizing your only pillow for the night is a tightly pulled cinch bag stuffed with Jordan shorts and a cell phone charger. 

We map out the absolute survival mode of trying to sleep in random RVs and the psychotic behavior of wanting to take a nap in the middle of a busy TJ Maxx. The conversation s...

Mel’s Best Available is BACK with best days of school 😏 breaking down the pure lawless joy of Grandparents Day, the bizarre chaos of tornado drills, and why the rival NFC classroom always seemed a little darker and meaner. We examine the time you thought you were gonna get held back in 6th grade, your horny friend at the sleepover and WHY wearing  a bike helmet in front of your girl is the dorkiest thing of all time?

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Going to a Thursday night high school volleyball game with a painted face just to impress a girl who is definitely hanging out with Center Grove kids at Taco Bell is a tragic rite of passage. We break down the pure panic of having a girl walk into your childhood bedroom and having to explain why you have a severed Spirit Halloween leg and an Iron Man helmet on your shelf. The conversation shifts to debating if Chevy and Ford belong in the AFC or NFC, ranking the hardest 90s retro Super Bowl logos, and figuring out the exact...

There really is nothing more terrifying than a pack of 17-year-olds who think they rule the world. We map out the ultimate survival guide for sleeping in Grbac’s 1999 Buick LeSabre, breaking down why you have to avoid the rich kid neighborhoods and park near the house where the dad smokes in the garage. The conversation shifts to the pure agony of high school travel baseball tournaments in Virginia, the panic of calling into local sports radio shows just to give the most useless takes, and why Shane Battier is the greatest NBA role player to ever ruin a pl...

"We probably drank like 79,000 beers, and when I came home smelling like it, I told my mom we had beer brats." The aftermath of a freezing late-night Taco Bell run from the weed kid's house is a rite of passage we all know too well. We map out a chaotic Pittsburgh draft weekend that started with securing a game-worn Joe Haden jersey and ended with paying a $150 cover charge to leave a Club Enclave and leaving 8 minutes later. The conversation shifts to drafting the best available fictional dogs of all time, from Snoopy to Powerline, before breaking down why...

"I thought taxidermy was when you filed for an extension on your taxes." We map out the pure paranoia of sitting on the weed kid's couch in pitch black January weather while his three giant dogs stare you down. We talk about how cowboy hats are just guy makeup, the evolution of high school hydration stations from dirty PVC pipes to the rich kid igloo coolers, and coaches who wear bike shorts with a dedicated dip pocket. We also debate if the new Ravens and Rams uniforms are dripping or tripping before drafting the most football sounding names of...

"Just smells like your girlfriend broke up with you for the shortstop." We map out the complete origin story of Grbac who follows his girl to college, only to lose her to the baseball house. After recovering from a dark period of sitting alone at B-Dubs, we track his glorious comeback as a TrueGreen manager who finds love doing burpees at F45. We also draft the best available bachelor party locations and break down the pure agony of trying to hold in a laugh while presenting an econ project in front of your homies

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"When I have pizza with me in the car i'm PRAYING for red lights." That's the reality of rushing home with a fresh box before digging into the first slice raw, completely free of ranch. We look back at the glory days of rolling up 7 deep to Mayfest in ur Grandma's old Buick LeSabre wearing baggy Jordan shorts and carrying a styrofoam McDonald's cup. Plus we map out the sheer terror of talking to your middle school gf on a landline from inside a backyard shed while your parents yell at you

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🎶Now you're just a Grbac that I used to know🎶 We look back at the guys from high school who transitioned from dip spit and white cargo shorts to a clean cut Abercrombie waffle tee. We also break down the pure PTSD of having a kid from St. Pius drop 68 points on your head while your high school girlfriend watches from the stands. Plus we draft the best available shoulders in history and debate if Family Guy and Sam's Club are AFC or NFC.

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We draft the best available places to watch March Madness, from sitting on frozen peas after a perfectly timed vasectomy to a high school classroom with a substitute teacher. Plus we look back at a Pittsburgh Steelers themed wedding where Ed Hochuli should have been the officiant and try to pinpoint the exact moment your childhood sports dreams died. Do we talk about Kyler Murray or the best numbers in each sport? NO cuz this isn’t a sports podcast. Do we talk about fumbled lent promises? NO cuz this isn’t a catholic podcast. Do we talk about rich...

Imagine being at middle school fball practice and watching a kid in full uniform walk off the field while his dad screams at him. We look back at the absolute chaos of kids quitting sports mid-practice and the sheer panic of going to an end-of-the-year pool party when you realize girls are actually showing up. Plus we debate if a Thanksgiving Eve NFL game ruins the best bar night of the year and dream about a fully NFL-themed restaurant with Terry Bradshaw pouring drinks.

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"Every guy during a bro hangout is secretly setting something up w a girl for later" We look back at the absolute glory of hanging out at lake houses in June and the feeling of dropping everything to go to a catholic school festival (not a religious pod). We finally face the hard truth about Broncos Peyton Manning and why he hates Indy. Plus we remember the most savage high school players we ever watched, draft the best months of the year during Mel's Best Available, play AFC vs NFC, talk about March Madness during spring break😍 and look bac...

"Nobody has gone from constantly having a dip in their mouth to being terrified to dip faster than Gerbach." Imagine the absolute heartbreak of watching your high school middle linebacker friend get a girlfriend and immediately trade his cut-off shirts and Grizzly Wintergreen for an Abercrombie V-neck. We look back at the glory days of Oklahoma Sooners shiny helmets and settle the debate on why the Florida Gators are strictly an AFC college football team. Plus, we draft the all-time greatest smells, from fresh tennis balls and AutoZone to the sheer danger of taking a whiff of arts and...

Sneaking into the old school NFL Combine at the RCA Dome was basically an underground drug deal back in the day. Going through puberty with sweaty armpits and swollen nipples is an absolute nightmare that nobody ever warns you about. We also hit the clubhouse emails to break down the dead giveaways that a sports fan is old and why adult beer Olympics always end up being a total dumpster fire of girls crying and people puking in the yard.

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We talk about Joey's dumpster fire of a weekend puking his brains out after his daughter's birthday, and relive an insane story of him almost throwing up on live radio while hungover from taking Irish bombs. We then welcome the Clubhouse to talk about the most electric mid-2000s NBA All-Star nostalgia, crushing sports heartbreaks like the Steve Bartman game, and debate if Matt Leinart, Cam Newton, or Tom Brady would be the ultimate college dorm roommate. We finish with a trip down memory lane ranking the best vintage Nike and Air Jordan commercials. 

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The boys kick things off by breaking down the absolute panic of nervous-talking to Kevin Gates at the Grammys, spotting Urban Meyer in full Ohio State gear at the airport, and Joey's insane experience getting his third hair transplant while completely awake. We then hit the Clubhouse to debate the strict unwritten rules of office pizza etiquette, relive the terrifying lore of high school substitute teachers, and discuss the ultimate danger of making out with your varsity coach's daughter. We finish with a deep dive into why you need to replace the family photos at your cubicle with vintage...

Dive into the absolute misery of bombing your middle school math tests and praying for completion grades from the linebacker-turned-teacher, before reliving the ultimate nightmare of broadcasting a high school game to an audience of four while giving your family computer a virus. We then hit the Clubhouse to debate the insane pregame stress of girls getting ready in a dorm room, the shocking reality of the high school "weed kid" graduating from Harvard, and the terrifying armpit-sweating anxiety of walking across the bleachers at a varsity basketball game. We finish with a breakdown of the most electric Jon...

We talk about the absolute cabin fever of being trapped inside during a blizzard and look back at the elite nostalgia of having a tiny kitchen TV. Then we hit the clubhouse emails to talk about the golden era of getting concussed playing basement Slam Ball and why wearing jeans to a college class is a total dumpster fire move. We finish off by building the ultimate coaching staff to take to Twin Peaks and breaking down why Cam Newton at Auburn was the craziest thing to ever happen in college football.

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Throwing in a dip on a first date at an Indian casino is the ultimate guy activity. The post-Super Bowl no man's land is officially here, which means it is time to look back at the elite nostalgia of Brisco High Nike commercials and why grown men are still shedding tears over vintage Michael Jordan ads. We also hit the clubhouse emails to break down the golden era of twelve dollar Steve and Barrys hoodies and why you need to start scheduling fake steakhouse board meetings just to drink beers with your friends.

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"Hi pretty lady". Imagine saying that to Brock Purdy's wife the first time you meet her just to stay in character. We just survived a 37-minute flight to Sedona that turned into a three and a half hour manifest situation ending in Yuma right on the border. At least we had sour gummy worms and time to pitch a billion-dollar idea for official NFL themed airlines. If you do not think a Steelers plane with Terrible Towels and Franco Harris boarding groups would sell out instantly, you are out of your mind. 

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"I'm retiring the minute I'm not joyful." Aaron Rodgers played an all-time game and the Steelers are finally feeling good. We talk about the trauma of middle school Bull in the Ring drills and the absolute power move of a mom bringing Krispy Kreme cupcakes to seventh period. Plus, we answer a listener question about whether life-size Vince Young Fatheads need to make a comeback.

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"Did you catch it?" Imagine being a chubby fourth grader who just did a cannonball onto the hood of the varsity middle linebacker's car to catch a recess game-winning touchdown. We look back at the absolute chaos of school lunches, from the legendary custom nacho bar to the sheer anxiety of seeing a teacher walk over to yell at you for eating last night's dinner leftovers. Plus, we talk about the harsh reality of the Washington State flag guy and why local car dealership commercials keep interrupting Sunday Night Football.

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"Eat, Pray, Love for dads." That is how Wright Thompson's wife describes his book about the history of Pappy Van Winkle. We sit down with the legendary writer to hear untold stories about Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and sneaking Grateful Dead references into the Masters broadcast. The Pacers pulled off an insane comeback to steal game one from the Thunder in Oklahoma City. Aaron Rodgers is officially a Steeler and the White Sox might finally be getting sold. Plus, Mike Florio stops by to talk NFL OTAs and co-managing a fantasy team. 

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"I put a Starbucks coffee in baby Jesus's hands." Imagine being downtown on the circle and seeing a venti cup sitting right in the manger while families try to take pictures. We look back at the absolute chaos of vandalizing neighborhood Christmas decorations and the pure glory of throwing a whistling Vortex football at recess. Plus we finally settle the debate on whether Target is strictly an AFC store while Walmart gives off massive NFC energy. 

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"The Three Wise Men should have been like a rap group." Imagine the sheer presence of these three guys pulling up to the manger in slow motion with gold and frankincense while everyone else is just standing around. We talk about the glory of Christmas church bangers and how a perfectly timed crescendo on "O Holy Night" will still make a grown man cry. Plus, we look back at the absolute shame of getting called out in the Instagram comments for wearing fake Jordans back in 2012 and the sheer panic of hiding dip spitters in your high school car.<...

"If your life was a museum, what would be in the gift shop on the way out?" We look back at the absolute glory of hunting down late 90s McDonald's Beanie Babies and the pure panic of hiding in a basement from a tornado. We also settle the ultimate debate on why McDonald's is strictly an AFC restaurant while Burger King gives off massive NFC energy. Plus, we talk about the harsh reality of being a Steelers fan right now and the terrible style choices we made in middle school.

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"You smell like outside." Imagine coming inside after a grueling seven-game series of driveway basketball against your dad and you are just starving for Papa John's. We look back at the absolute glory of lowering the hoop to seven and a half feet to try Vince Carter dunks and the ultimate Heisman moment of your dad walking through the door with three pizzas. Plus, we settle the bracket for the fakest work weeks of the year and figure out which Thanksgiving side dishes compare to NBA legends.

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"I guess I pull off all their toenails." That is the kind of absolute nonsense you hear in the back row of a high school football practice while waiting for your reps. We look back at the glory days of pro pads, wearing baggy mesh jerseys over your equipment, and the pure anxiety of calling a girl's home phone only for her dad to pick up. Plus, we break down a massive clubhouse theory about how kids who slept in basement bedrooms were always the ones getting into trouble. 

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"I'd rather go hungry for four weeks straight than get a borrow slip." Imagine forgetting your lunch ticket in seventh grade and having to admit defeat to the lunch lady just to get a hot lunch. We look back at the absolute glory of the Scholastic Book Fair and the sheer panic of having to use the manual pencil sharpener in the middle of a quiet classroom. Plus we break down the ultimate holiday Hunty bracket to see if pastel Easter Hunty can somehow knock off Valentine's Hunty.

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"Every dad who answered the door just had the whitest, plainest socks and the bluest jeans ever." We look back at the absolute glory of suburban trick-or-treating and the sheer panic of seeing into a neighbor's house for the very first time. We also break down the ultimate bar strategy of taking pace laps versus holding down a booth, and settle the debate on whether AIM is strictly an AFC messenger while MSN gives off massive NFC energy. Plus, we remember the elite era of Thursday night Big East football and discontinued Gatorade flavors.

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Baltimore, MD - Sept 25

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Baltimore, MD - Sept 25

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Baltimore, MD - Sept 25

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Baltimore, MD - Sept 25
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