Crunch Wears No Pants
It's like Wolves Twitter, but in audio form. Every other week, hosts Jordan, Brandon, and Nate break down the vibes of the Minnesota Timberwolves (because real sports journalism is DEAD), debate hyper-niche Timberwolves topics, and play Timberwolves-centric games that only ride or die Wolves fans would care about. Long live Jimmy's Dips and JoMomma's Salsa.
A referendum on Tim Connelly, Reviewing Over/Unders, and KAT with Kyle Theige
Kyle Theige is back to check on Jordan after a series of negative tweets this morning. Everybody yells at one point. We also review the over/unders we did at the beginning of the season. We had a great time podcasting with our friends.
THE FOURTH ANNUAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS YEAR END PANTIE AWARDS EXTRAVAGANZA AKA THE FACWNPYEPAES
Im too tired to type a description. here are our show notes:
HOW ARE THE VIBES
They lost to the Spurs in 6 games but was it really that close?Julius Randle ceased giving us those goosebumpsHe also didn’t show up to do an exit interviewWas the season a success?What is next? Giannis? Kyrie? Lebron? Something worse?THE FOURTH ANNUAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS YEAR END PANTIE AWARDS EXTRAVAGANZA AKA THE FACWNPYEPAE’S
3 Awards each, 3 nominees, other hosts select the winnerPantie Nation Member of the YearCUT...
THROATGATE! WOLVES TAKE GAME 4! THAT WAS A DISGUSTING ACT BY VICTOR WEMBANYAMA!
THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES THE HEINOUS AND VILE ACT COMMITTED BY VICTOR WEMBANYAMA IN GAME FOUR OF THE WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMI FINALS. WE ALSO DISCUSS MORE THINGS ABOUT THE GAME, WHICH INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO ANTHONY EDWARDS' IMMORTALITY, JULIUS RANDLES BEFUDDLEMENT, NAZ REID HAVING A GOOD PLAYOFFS, AND TSJ!
The Spurs Fan POV with Gregg Masterson
Gregg Masterson from Twins Daily joins to talk about his preferred basketball team, the San Antonio Spurs. We talked about everything. There were misunderstood analogies. There were stories told.Â
INSTANT REACTIONS TO GAME 1! THE WOLVES STEAL IT IN SAN ANTONIO!
YOU SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED TO GOAL TEND IF YOU'RE 9 FEET TALL
THEY'RE ALL BAD DEFENDERS! THE HOSPITAL WOLVES TAKE DOWN THE NUGGETS IN SIX
THANK YOU JADEN. THANK YOU TSJ. THANK YOU RUDY GOBERT.Â
EMERGENCY! LIVE FROM THE ATRIUM PRE-GAME 6
THIS EPISODE IS ONLY RELEVANT FOR 20 MINUTES GO GO GOÂ
INSTANT REACTIONS TO GAME 3 LIVE FROM THE CONCOURSE
GENTLEMEN’S SWEEP OPPOSITELY IS ON THE TABLE GUYS WOOOOAAAHHH
Katy Winge from AltitudeTV joins the pod to tell us "Nuggets in Sixish"
KATY WINGE JOINS THE POD DEEP FROM ENEMY TERRITORY TO TELL US WHY THE NUGGETS ROCK! IT MADE US SAD BUT KATY IS A JOY! WE TOLD HER ABOUT THE BALKANIZATION OF WOLVES TWITTER! SHE TOLD US ABOUT HER MEDIA CAREER ASCENSION! WE HOPE KATY WINGE BECOMES A HOUSEHOLD NAME IN BASKETBALL MEDIA BECAUSE SHE KNOWS BALL AND IS FUN!
Wolves/Nuggets Preview, Best Burgers in the Twin Cities, Zyon Pullin propaganda
PLAYOFFS
Regular Season Purgatory, WNBA Free Agency, Project Hail Mary, 2026 Movie Slate
we talked about the Lynx. we talked about the Timberwolves. We talked about the insane slate of 2026 movies.
The End of Season Feels Meaningless for the First Time in Forever, Ant + Jaden Injuries, Ayo Donsumu is a God amongst Men
SHOUT OUT CASCADE CBX SPORT
Ant and Jaden Hurt, Let's Get to the Playoffs, Aye Dosunmo's Incredible
this is an episode of crunch wears no pants. shout out Cascade CBX Sport.
The Wolves beat Scott Foster (with Andrew Dukowitz)
you guys didn't like the game of thrones episode so we're back talking about the wolves.Â
The new WNBA CBA and what it means for the Lynx (with Andrew Dukowitz)
It's Lynx time baby
The Game of Thrones Draft
So much is happening with the Timberwolves! Almost as much as what's happening in Westeros this year! In honor of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and House of the Dragon Season 3, we drafted basketball teams out of Game of Thrones Characters. HBO Max please sponsor us
This is an episode of Crunch Wears No Pants
The vibes are ass dawg idk what you want from me as far as descriptions and episode titles go.
Ant's Ascension, the Bench Mob Hierarchy, & Navigating Pet Loss with Dane Moore
Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well...
Ant's Ascension, the Bench Mob Hierarchy, and Navigating Pet Loss with Dane Moore
Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well...
EMERGENCY POD: KYLE ANDERSON IS BACK
#LEADERSHIP
Let's Argue about Julius Randle
This was certainly one of the episodes of all time
Ant to Atlanta, The Green Guys Draft, and Chelanga's Backlog of Takes with Chelanga Langason
Unofficial fourth host of the pod Chelanga Langason is back to give us the takes we've been missing since the end of his internet presence and the CnD NBA Show. It was great and fun.Â
Chris Finch Civil War 2.0 + We Love Ayo Dosunmu
Dear NAW,Â
Debà tirar más fotos de cuando te tuve
Debà darte más besos y abrazos las veces que pude
Ey, ojalá que los mĂos nunca se muden
Y si hoy me emborracho, pues, que me ayuden
We love you,Â
CWNP
Trade Deadline Review: No Giannis :( Hi Ayo! Goodbye, Mike (for now)
Shams Charania, delete your twitter account and never bother us again.
Minnesota Gianniswolves
Giannis might be a Timberwolf. We beat OKC. We love Minneapolis
MC Jon B! The Joan Zone! The Team Imploded Last Week!
MC JON B IS HERE! We talked about the last week, in which the Wolves went 0-3. We did the "MC Jon B" draft.Â
We Don't Want to Trade Everyone Anymore
The Wolves are making us look dumb cuz they're playing really great and cohesive basketball right now. Welcome to the league, Joan Beringer.
Trade Deadline Targets, Chris Finch Dynasty Killer, Rudy's 5th DPOTY, Brief My Neighbor Totoro Tangent
- CAN RUDY ACTUALLY WIN DPOTY?
- WE'RE NOT TALKING ENOUGH ABOUT HOW GOOD ANT IS
- CHRIS FINCH: DYNASTY (WHISTLE) KILLER?
- TRADE DEADLINE PREVIEW: WOLVES TRADE TARGETS
The Vibes are Rancid! Who Should We Trade?
Well. It's been a week guys. We discuss how rancid the vibes are with our new DurfGPT, which almost sounds like the real Nate, who you know is on his 6-month CWNP-mandated paid Paternal Leave (we are pro-family and actually fund programs in favor of children and families as opposed to funding luxury boomer socialism + corporate bailouts). We also breakdown who from the Timberwolves we're willing to trade ahead of the deadline (spoiler: a lot of them).Â
A Very Panty Nation Christmas: Getting Gifts for the Wolves Roster
Surprise Christmas Drop! Brandon, Jordan, and Kai from WolvesBoxScores go Christmas shopping and get gifts for the Wolves roster. There's more milk talk than you'd expect in this one. Hi Johnny Juzang.
Getting Gifts for the Wolves' Roster
Surprise Christmas Drop! Brandon, Jordan, and Kai from WolvesBoxScores go Christmas shopping and get gifts for the Wolves roster. There's more milk talk than you'd expect in this one.Â
KG's back, Karl's back, and WolvesBoxScores is Back
WolvesBoxScores joins to talk about Karl's return game, what he thinks is holding the Wolves back, Snacks, Rudy Gobert's last ten games, and a few tangents along the way. Please go follow WolvesBoxScores. LOVE YOU
The Sports Video Game Draft
So much is happening with your Minnesota Timberwolves that we're not gonna talk about any of it, and instead are going to draft our favorite Sports Video Games of All Time. Durf appears in this episode! Is it fake Durf or real Durf? Who knows.
OKC Win Post Game Reaction | Chris Finch, Ant Heroics, Mr. Pibb, Honey for Bones
The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And this will not be the last victory versus the Oklahoma City Thunder.
BONE ZONE DOMAIN EXPANSION + GOOSEBUMPS
Bones Hyland is the point guard of the future. DDV is shredding the net off the rim. Julius Randle is instagramming pics with the caption Goosebumps and the Minnesota Wild are acknowledging it. We also talk Doomsday leak spoilers near the end and give a spoiler warning. We also talk about Star Wars at the end. Durf was very quiet this episode which is why this happened, it was always going to happen.
Are the Wolves bad?
They blew it vs the Suns and Kings. The Timberwolves have this podcast wondering: are the Wolves bad?
In Arena Music Selections with Timberwolves Music Directors Tim Miller and DJ Dudley D
Tim Miller and DJ Dudley D join the pod to discuss playing the trombone version of Goosebumps during games, how they select in game sound effects and music, and what the behind the scenes in-game production of a Wolves game looks like. We also discuss vibes, of course.Â
JULIUS RANDLE KNOWS ABOUT GOOSEBUMPS
THE WOLVES ARE WINNING AGAINST BAD TEAMS! GOOSEBUMPS IS BECOMING A NATIONAL THING!
The Wolves Twitter Civil War, Ja Morant, and the Goosebumps Conspiracy
There's a Wolves Twitter Civil War over Chris Finch. Ja Morant may be a Timberwolf this season. Someone took down the original Julius Randle Goosebumps video.Â
The Hunt for Meaningful Insights (four games into the season)
We're four games in and the gentlemen are trying to make sense of the Anthony Edwards injury, as well as some weird initial trends and observations (both positive and negative). Julius Randle is a trees jersey legend. Rob looks great in the face mask. If you're a new fan: welcome to Target Center. Please get lit when you're in the building. Love you BYE