Crunch Wears No Pants

can pundits stop being weird about LaMelo? he's good. he has tattoos. he takes long threes. he's playing at an all NBA caliber while being exactly what his new team needs him to be. 

Rudy's getting better. Ayo Dosunmu is our goat. Trey Lyles is our more than okay king. 

After wins over the Clippers and Bucks and a loss to the Spurs, Jordan, Brandon, and Nate assess the first full week of Ant-less basketball. LaMelo loves fouling, Ayo Dosunmu is becoming the most reliable man alive, and Joan Beringer rocks.

IT ALL CHANGED A WEEK AGO

THE WOLVES ARE BACK AND LAMELO BALL IS A MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLF. It's a great experience. We react to the season opener against Miami, Anthony Edwards being completely insane, the early returns on LaMelo and Kuminga, and whatever you can call the backup bigs situation. We also play Cut the Bad, Keep the Good (brought to you by our one true sponsor Lamb Chops) and spend an unreasonable amount of time remembering the 2010 NBA Draft.

Dane Moore joins as our guest for this season's over/unders. Dane also uncovers a bit of a conspiracy where Brandon may be tipping the scales in his favor. Rudy Gobert WILL hit a three this season

It's been four thousand years. Welcome back, Panty Nation

THE TIMBERWOLVES HAVE NEW JERSEYS ON SALE ON 9/1! THEY ALSO WILL EMPLOY JONATHON KUMINGA! WE TALK ABOUT ALL OF IT

This is simply one of the crunch wears no pants episodes of all time

reuploaded cuz of one joke at the 20 minute mark lmao okay see you guys, sorry about this one

an absolute mess of an episode. I am so sorry. 

this is the episode where we talk about LeBron James joining the Minnesota Timberwolves

LAMELOOOOOOOOO BALL IS A MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLF

This is allegedly an episode of Crunch Wears No Pants where we spend 15 minutes talking about Olivia Miles, another 15 minutes talking bout jerseys, and then twenty minutes at the end talking about absolutely nothing. At the end, Jordan apologizes to Wolves Dance Team Member and Panty Nation Member of the Year Nominee Maggie for an accidental meme send to the "GOOSE GANG" group chat.

Kyle Theige is back to check on Jordan after a series of negative tweets this morning. Everybody yells at one point. We also review the over/unders we did at the beginning of the season. We had a great time podcasting with our friends.

Im too tired to type a description. here are our show notes:

HOW ARE THE VIBES

THE FOURTH ANNUAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS YEAR END PANTIE AWARDS EXTRAVAGANZA AKA THE FACWNPYEPAE’S

CUT...

THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES THE HEINOUS AND VILE ACT COMMITTED BY VICTOR WEMBANYAMA IN GAME FOUR OF THE WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMI FINALS. WE ALSO DISCUSS MORE THINGS ABOUT THE GAME, WHICH INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO ANTHONY EDWARDS' IMMORTALITY, JULIUS RANDLES BEFUDDLEMENT, NAZ REID HAVING A GOOD PLAYOFFS, AND TSJ!

Gregg Masterson from Twins Daily joins to talk about his preferred basketball team, the San Antonio Spurs. We talked about everything. There were misunderstood analogies. There were stories told. 

YOU SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED TO GOAL TEND IF YOU'RE 9 FEET TALL

THANK YOU JADEN. THANK YOU TSJ. THANK YOU RUDY GOBERT. 

THIS EPISODE IS ONLY RELEVANT FOR 20 MINUTES GO GO GO 

GENTLEMEN’S SWEEP OPPOSITELY IS ON THE TABLE GUYS WOOOOAAAHHH

KATY WINGE JOINS THE POD DEEP FROM ENEMY TERRITORY TO TELL US WHY THE NUGGETS ROCK! IT MADE US SAD BUT KATY IS A JOY! WE TOLD HER ABOUT THE BALKANIZATION OF WOLVES TWITTER! SHE TOLD US ABOUT HER MEDIA CAREER ASCENSION! WE HOPE KATY WINGE BECOMES A HOUSEHOLD NAME IN BASKETBALL MEDIA BECAUSE SHE KNOWS BALL AND IS FUN!

PLAYOFFS

we talked about the Lynx. we talked about the Timberwolves. We talked about the insane slate of 2026 movies.

SHOUT OUT CASCADE CBX SPORT

this is an episode of crunch wears no pants. shout out Cascade CBX Sport.

you guys didn't like the game of thrones episode so we're back talking about the wolves. 

It's Lynx time baby

So much is happening with the Timberwolves! Almost as much as what's happening in Westeros this year! In honor of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and House of the Dragon Season 3, we drafted basketball teams out of Game of Thrones Characters. HBO Max please sponsor us

The vibes are ass dawg idk what you want from me as far as descriptions and episode titles go.

Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well...

Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well...

#LEADERSHIP

This was certainly one of the episodes of all time

Unofficial fourth host of the pod Chelanga Langason is back to give us the takes we've been missing since the end of his internet presence and the CnD NBA Show. It was great and fun. 

Dear NAW, 

Debí tirar más fotos de cuando te tuve
Debí darte más besos y abrazos las veces que pude
Ey, ojalá que los míos nunca se muden
Y si hoy me emborracho, pues, que me ayuden

We love you, 

CWNP

Shams Charania, delete your twitter account and never bother us again.

Giannis might be a Timberwolf. We beat OKC. We love Minneapolis

MC JON B IS HERE! We talked about the last week, in which the Wolves went 0-3. We did the "MC Jon B" draft. 

The Wolves are making us look dumb cuz they're playing really great and cohesive basketball right now. Welcome to the league, Joan Beringer.