Doing It Together: Making Sense of Low Libido, Sex, and Intimacy in Marriage.

Katie spent years believing her sex life was good enough, until she began questioning how much she was actually enjoying it and how much she was simply tolerating. In this conversation, she shares how marriage, children, menopause, and cultural messages gradually disconnected her from her own desires.

Katie and Janna explore why so many couples follow a formula for sex instead of discovering what genuinely feels good to both people. Katie shares how learning that she was allowed to have preferences changed the way she communicates with her husband and transformed her approach to...

What if your anger isn't the problem—but a sign that something finally makes sense?

In this episode, Janna sits down with Renee to explore the surprising emotion that surfaced as she began unlearning decades of harmful messages about women, sex, and marriage. What she once believed was a personal failure turned out to be something much bigger, and that realization changed everything.

Together, they discuss why anger can be a healthy response to injustice, the cultural lies that keep both women and men disconnected from authentic intimacy, and th...

What if sex was never meant to create connection—but to celebrate the connection that's already there? In this episode, Janna sits down with John for a thoughtful and honest conversation about one of the most common dynamics in long-term relationships: when one partner looks to sex for closeness while the other needs closeness before they desire sex.

John shares how he came to realize that he was asking sex to do a job it was never meant to do. Together, they explore the emotions hiding beneath sexual rejection, the cultural messages that shape ou...

When Penny began questioning the messages she'd received about sex, she uncovered something far deeper than a lack of desire. For years, she'd been taught that sex was something she owed her husband rather than an experience she was allowed to enjoy herself. Penny shares how those beliefs shaped her marriage, her sexuality, and her sense of self—and what finally helped her begin experiencing intimacy in a completely different way.

Together, Janna and Penny explore the cultural and religious messages that disconnect women from pleasure, why "more foreplay" wasn't the solution, the hidden pr...

For the 200th episode of the Doing It Together podcast, the tables are turned as Janna sits in the guest seat while her daughter interviews her about the journey behind the microphone. Together, they look back on four years of honest conversations about sex, desire, marriage, and relationships, exploring how the podcast has evolved, the lessons learned along the way, and the moments that have challenged Janna the most.

Janna also shares the personal experiences that have shaped her work- from navigating divorce and remarriage to finding the courage to speak openly about one...

Has sex become less about connection and more about keeping the peace? 

In this episode, Janna talks with Joanna about a pattern many couples quietly fall into, where sex becomes a way to restore harmony, avoid conflict, or make a partner happier rather than an experience rooted in mutual desire, pleasure, and connection.

They unpack the emotional weight behind this dynamic and explore how it impacts both women’s sexuality and men’s relationship with intimacy. Joanna shares what she and her partner are doing differently now to move away...

What happens when loving someone means letting go of the need to fix them?

Derek shares his journey of realizing that his attempts to rescue and support his wife were unintentionally creating distance between them. After years of trying to pull her out of pain and show her how wonderful life could be, he discovered that what she needed most wasn't someone to turn on the light—it was someone willing to sit with her in the darkness.

Together, Janna and Derek explore the difference between compassion and rescuing, ho...

What if one of the keys to a more connected relationship isn't communicating better—but paying closer attention?

In this episode, Janna and her husband pull back the curtain on a practice they've been intentionally developing in their marriage: attunement. Rather than waiting for your partner to tell you exactly what they need, attunement is the skill of noticing, anticipating, and staying emotionally connected to their inner world.

Together, they explore why women are often socialized to be more attuned than men, how this dynamic can impact relationships, and th...

When Lauren was invited to share her story on the podcast, she hesitated. Talking publicly about your sex life isn't easy—especially when your experience doesn't fit the cultural script of what a "healthy" woman is supposed to want. Then she surprised us with an unexpected suggestion: what if her sister joined the conversation?

What followed was a candid, funny, and moving discussion between two sisters whose experiences with sex, desire, marriage, motherhood, and womanhood couldn't look more different on the surface. Together, they unpack the impossible expectations placed on women, the messages they in...

In this surprisingly vulnerable conversation, Brian — a former fire chief turned maintenance mechanic — shares his story of growing up with almost no sex education beyond, “don’t get her pregnant,” and the quiet pressures men often carry alone. Together, we explore fear, conditioning, hard conversations, and what it looks like to begin questioning long-held patterns later in life.

At 58, Brian opens up about choosing self-reflection over defensiveness and the profound shifts that became possible when he and his wife started talking more honestly about intimacy and safety. This episode is a reminder that meaningful change is...

At the end of each eight-week round of Doing It Together, Janna hosts a farewell call where couples gather together and she asks one powerful question: What surprised you most about your Doing It Together journey?

In this episode, you’ll hear honest reflections from real couples about their experiences — what they learned, what they had to unlearn, and how their relationships changed along the way. Their stories are a reminder that when people are willing to do the work and face difficult truths, profound shifts can happen, intimacy can deepen, and new ways of c...

On the podcast today, Justin (the male mentor for the men’s group) and I pull back the curtain to share as real and honestly as we can what it feels like to progress through the Doing It Together program.

We talk about:

<...

What if the problem in your sex life isn’t low libido… but the pressure, expectations, and conditioning you’ve been carrying for years?

In this conversation, Erica shares how she spent years believing she was broken, trying everything from therapy to self-help advice to “fix” her lack of desire — only to discover that the real issue had far more to do with safety, pressure, and the scripts women are taught about sex and relationships.

Together, Erica and Janna unpack the messages many women grow up with around sex, marriage, mo...

Why do so many women feel disconnected from sex—even in loving relationships? In this episode, we unpack the two core motivations behind intimacy: avoidance and approach. When sex is driven by pressure, obligation, or fear—like avoiding conflict, guilt, or rejection—it’s no surprise that desire fades. Yet, this pattern is so normalized that many women end up believing something is wrong with them, rather than questioning the system itself.

Joined by renowned researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, this conversation explores what actually makes sex feel good—and worth wanting. From understanding why low desire...

Anthony shares his journey from defensiveness and disconnection to truly hearing his partner for the first time. Like many couples, they found themselves stuck in a cycle of repeating the same conversations, hoping something would finally click… but real change didn’t begin until willingness entered the picture.

Anthony opens up about the moment he recognized how deeply his upbringing had shaped his expectations around intimacy—and the courage it took to face that truth. His story is a reminder that while change is simple in theory, it requires a willingness to listen, grow, and se...

Why are we still defining sex in a way that doesn’t feel good for many women?

In this eye-opening episode, my guest Anne and I challenge one of the most normalized (and harmful) beliefs about intimacy: that intercourse is the main event. Through Anne’s story, you’ll hear how cultural messaging, lack of real education, and silent expectations led to pain, confusion—and feeling broken.

But this conversation doesn’t stop there. Anne shares how she began to question everything, find her voice, and create a more honest, pl...

I’ve been scratching my head for years trying to figure out how to help couples talk to each other about sex and share the helpful information on the podcast.

I knew that a simple, non-threatening video was necessary for both men and women to be able to send to their partners to explain the basic concepts. 

I also knew that I needed to make the podcast accessible for newbies with an easy “start here” place to go (with 188 episodes, it just doesn’t work to begin with episode 1, although...

Jo shares her journey from confusion and pressure around sex to rediscovering connection, safety, and genuine pleasure with her husband.

She opens up about:

If you’ve ever felt disconnected, confused, or pressured in your intimate life, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, hopeful, and inspired.

Looki...

Do you ever feel like you are the one with all the "baggage" in your relationship?

This is exactly how Liz felt for years. In every category she looked- religious, cultural upbringing, and past life choices, she felt inferior to her spouse. To make up for the gap, she tried to be the “perfect” wife by providing her husband sex and keeping her body up even through four pregnancies. 

No surprise, it didn’t work out great.

Join us as we talk through:

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When a couple can meet each other with non-judgmental empathy, it draws you closer to each other. Nobody is shamed, questioned or put down and it leads to a deeper intimacy.

This is the power of mutual vulnerability and it’s one of the bedrocks of a healthy marriage (and sex life).

But most people don’t do a very good job at it! (which makes sense- who taught us how???)

In today’s podcast episode, my husband and I explored this topic, sharing what w...

In my work, I highlight the terrible things that gender inequality does to a couple’s sexual relationship but it extends far beyond the bedroom impacting connection, financial health, individual happiness, physical health, and, ultimately, relationship satisfaction.

Which is why as soon as I finished the book, “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home” by Kate Mangino, I knew I needed her to come on the podcast.

Thankfully, she agreed 🙂

In this episode of the podcast, we talk about:

After decades of quiet frustration in their sex life, DeeDee and her husband made a bold decision: they would burn their “traditional” sex life to the ground and rebuild something that actually worked for them.

For most of her life, DeeDee struggled with low libido. It affected her relationships, her self-esteem, and especially her marriage. She tried everything—books, advice, and years of therapy—but nothing truly changed. She felt broken, unheard, and alone.

Now in her 50s, DeeDee shares what finally made the difference. She describes discovering Doing It Toget...

This episode provides an update on what Janna and her husband are working on in their sex life. Both talk about how anxiety affects their sexual experience in different ways.

Janna shares her anxieties about:

Dwayne shares his anxieties about:

My podcast guest is Dr. Kervins Clement and his story is one that I hear about all the time- where a dependency on porn use and masturbation is justified as helping the relationship when, in fact, it often does the opposite. 

In this episode we explore:

We're re-releasing one of our most listened to episodes! If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, you'll want to listen to Justin and Sandra's story.

Married for 19 years, they took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.

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There is no shortcut to heal from a toxic world that has tricked us into thinking sex is just a series of acts designed to physically stimulate us. The only way through is to slow down, unlearn and heal- not just for your marriage but for your well-being. 

It’s understanding safety, not just physically, but emotionally.

It’s questioning the model of sex you were handed, instead of trying to perform it better.

It’s rebuilding trust with your own body.

And, when you’re doing...

Justin joins me for a foundational episode in which we zoom out and discuss the role that men play when their wives have “low libido”. 

He starts off by sharing how he felt when his wife stopped wanting to have sex with him- the feelings of confusion and worrying if he had done something wrong.

Then we take a journey through the unique ways men can contribute to a great sex life, how to create a comfortable, pressure-free environment and the work they can do outside of the bedroom.

...

Many women I talk to struggle enjoying physical touch during sex. They don’t know their experience can be any other way so they continue trying to enjoy things they don’t like and then label themselves as “non-sexual”. 

In our conversation, my husband and I discuss:

• why so many women push themselves to initiate or say yes even when their body is clearly uncomfortable

• why discomfort is so often normalized through culture, media, and silence

• the real fears women carry about speaking up and the consequences they’re trying to avoi...

In today’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on one of the most important elements of moving towards freedom in your relationship and that is…a reset from sex.

It’s something that you may have heard many times on the podcast in interviews with alumni of Doing It Together but it’s the first time I’ve addressed it directly.

If you are tired of the mental energy sex is taking up in your life right now, I highly encourage you to listen to this conversation.

...

Today on the podcast I recorded a short and sweet solo episode for you but really it’s a love-letter to my former self.

Anxiety (just a different term for “fear”) is telling you something and if you are feeling it around sex, there is something to learn. And I promise you, it’s not that you are broken and that nothing will ever work. I used to believe that too but that thought will only keep you stuck.

Listen and trust yourself and please, please, please get some support...

Since we’re headed into a time of the year where there may be some extra space as a couple, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about expectations around sex and special occasions. 

I know this happens more often with birthdays and vacations but it’s possible that in the lull between Christmas and New Years some pressure could creep in.

In this short episode, we discuss why this happens, the harm it can cause and what to do instead. Plus we talk about what gifts...

The idea that men are so simple to please and women are a difficult maze of sensitive knobs and dials, often leaves female pleasure forgotten about.

But what if something else was happening? What if our culture has only taught men and women about men’s bodies and pleasure? What if women’s genitals and orgasms felt impossibly difficult because we are all trying to approach them like men’s? 

This is what we discussed on the podcast this week- sharing openly our current challenges with my partner learning my body...

Janna and her husband discuss the ins and outs of talking about sex as a couple- why so many people struggle with it, their personal challenges with communication, and what they're currently experimenting with to try to improve.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration.

Ready to learn as a couple? Get all the details...

It’s been a dream of mine to be able to chat with my daughter on the podcast and get her take on some of the concepts we discuss here.

In this episode, we touch on what she is learning in her class about consent and rape culture, her take on what’s happening in teen relationships, and a bit of advice for parents thinking about teaching consent to their own kids.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and wome...

Over the last 8 years Janna has specialized in helping women with low libido, she frequently hears them share about how difficult it is to talk with their husbands about personal hygiene.

“My husband always has bad breath.”

“I wish he would shave before coming to bed.”

“Is it too much to ask to wear clean boxers?”

In this episode, Janna and her husband, Dwayne, discuss the trends she's been seeing, the cultural messages that impact this topic, his experience as a pre-tee...

If you’ve ever felt emotionally disconnected during sex, you’re not alone. Janna and her husband Dwayne talk through the common reasons this can happen (for both men and women), how to recognize when you’re feeling out of sync, how to share that with your partner, and the steps you can take to make those moments feel more connected more often.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Videos for men and women.

Ready to learn more? Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always...

Janna shares a major life update with her listeners and introduces a very special guest.

In early October, she married her new partner, Dwayne. Together, Janna and Dwayne openly and courageously reflect on the past few years — including Janna’s divorce, how they met, and what sparked their connection.

They also give listeners a candid look into their intimate life and explain how the principles of Doing It Together have shaped their relationship from the very beginning.

Looking for where to start? Get Janna's Intro Vide...

Part 2 of Lisa’s story is a must-listen episode. She opens up about how decades of prioritizing her husband’s sexual needs while ignoring her own led to a nervous breakdown that affected her both physically and emotionally.

Lisa believed she was doing the right thing—following the “marriage formula” and giving him what he needed to keep the peace and manage his moods. But deep down, her body was begging for change. She just didn’t have the language or tools to understand what was wrong. 

In this episode, Lisa...

In Part 1 of Lisa’s story, she looks back on her youth and the awkward search for answers about sex and sexuality as a now 59-year-old woman.

Her parents spoke in vague, confusing terms and never provided real context, which she found bizarre. The explanations she did receive made her body’s natural changes sound painful and frightening. While there was plenty of playground gossip, there was no real guidance from anyone who actually knew what they were talking about. Magazines like Cosmopolitan painted sex as a kind of theatrical performance, leaving Lisa with a ju...

Janna answers recent questions she's received about her program for couples, Doing It Together.

Questions include:

...