Rafe Hates Caleb

40 Episodes
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By: Raphael Moran & Caleb Grabowski

Rafe hates Caleb.They're longtime friends but they hate each other. Every week they talk about her sordid sex life, his miserable existence, their top three songs of the week, and a tribute to the filmography of Sam Rockwell.

Two Princes
Last Friday at 10:00 AM

QUICK HITS caleb ate way too much ice cream, no judgies, because the scientist was out on a little trip. rafe watched pet sematary (the newer one), did lots of cooking, and caleb got new crocs! there was a lot of food. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: leggings low: work caleb’s high-low high: labor day

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Meatball Pocket
08/29/2025

QUICK HITS rafe is addicted to instagram. caleb removed an impactful app on his phone. rafe went to alaska! she saw weapons, and honey don’t! caleb went to rennfaire! he had four d&d sessions WHAT. but OMG NINE INCH NAILS. ice cream!!!! rafe saw happy gilmore 2, too, and also pantheon. she liked them. caleb’s

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Caleb’s Special Treat
08/15/2025

QUICK HITS rafe wants to know what the fuck is with trump trying to take over DC and also is he gonna give alaska to russia like things are fucked. play duck detectives. they’re great! caleb had a great time at his fancy italian restaurant and got some clothes. caleb is getting into twitch more

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Hooray I’m Alive
08/01/2025

QUICK HITS smallville is on hulu!! rafe loves hanging out with kyler! full throttle is NOT A POINT-AND-CLICK FIGHT ME. caleb and the scientist got to play a daggerheart game in person with buddies. also had d&d on sundayyyy! caleb saw the new fantastic four movie. cable loved the voice of the villain. rafe learned

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You Guys Are Idiots
07/25/2025

QUICK HITS rafe is already through SurrealEstate and moved onto a very silly k-drama. she did a streamathon! class is over! FOR NOW. rafe got a new dinooooo! rafe saw jurassic world rebirth and caleb saw superman. caleb also talks italy plans, and knives, and world of warcraft bounty stuff is almost over!! rafe talks

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Compost the Rich
07/13/2025

QUICK HITS SurrealEstate! bocce ball! fourth of july! antiquing and old book shopping omg. rafe is excited about her upcoming stream celebration. world of warcraft legacy bounty buff so now is the TIME to get back in! HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: RIBS low: SCHOOL caleb’s high-low high: in person d&d low: scientist job HOT

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No Off-Topic Questions
07/04/2025

QUICK HITS happy independence day, I guess, even though we’re not in love with what’s happening the land of the free lately. caleb watched the dune movies! rafe watched all the alien movies and also the 28 (blank) later movies. when did we get zoomie zombies? and rafe loves dinosaurs! listen to tom cardy sing

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Eat Your Beans
06/20/2025

QUICK HITS caleb is 100% done with the entire world hard stop. rafe is trying to help the entire world. pigs are being fed a drug, ractopamine hydrochloride, that causes them harm but that’s totally cool, right? right? it’s probably not being absorbed into our bodies. also climate disasters are bad for fetuses. I mean.

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It’s French for Bread
06/13/2025

QUICK HITS rafe rants a lot about class and her professor’s expectations. caleb talks about five year olds punching and hitting things. and there was cat bullshit. AND THE ESPRESSO MACHINE. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: games with kyler low: school caleb’s high-low high: new jersey low: cat-astrophe HOT HOT TOPICS – tofu – when

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Ball Grip
06/06/2025

QUICK HITS rafe saw sinners! and fight or flight with josh hartnett! and alien romulus! caleb saw thunderbolts! it was pretty good. also he played bocce ball. heh heh heh balls. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: kyler low: school caleb’s high-low high: scientist job low: scientist job HOT HOT TOPICS – is it possible that

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CHECK IT!
05/16/2025

QUICK HITS caleb watched the conversation and sinners! and has been on a TEAR buying rpg books. he’s kind of obsessed with tabletop games right now. like slug blaster – CHECK IT https://youtu.be/kHIcXnfdv94 and delta green – call of cthulhu in the 90’s? and there’s always kids on bikes, or heart. find your favorite! @

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Starlings Can Get Fucked
05/09/2025

QUICK HITS why context is IMPORTANT. DATA CAN BE SKEWED. FUCK STARLINGS. also hey try taking care of your body, you dumb fucks. caleb watched movies! like the unbearable weight of massive talent. and monty python and thev holy grail is 50! and caleb is WORKIN IT. and has a flashback to heat vision and

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I Got Big Blood
05/02/2025

QUICK HITS caleb and rafe are both very talkative about jobs and work, dnd fun times, the azalea gardens, and making progress on shows like doctor who and what we do in the shadows. caleb also watched heretic and presence. rafe is excited about the got milk rebrand?! and also the AAARG challenge is going

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Cookiiiies!
04/18/2025

QUICK HITS rafe has multiple highs and lows?! bears, bubba sparxx, joanne fabrics, microsoft imaging, body aches. AAARG (already-amassed april rations game) is going pretty good, but what’s considered a PURCHASE? lots going on. caleb talks more about interviews, doctor mike with the pitt, chocolate shortcake, and… BONUS topic?!? rafe also has strong feelings about

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It Ripped Out My Moustache
04/11/2025

QUICK HITS caleb does some socializing with a happy hour. cookware talk, baking stuff, and minesweeper updates!! rafe blabs about what healthy masculinity is and caleb rips off his moustache. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: onion cheese chips low: work caleb’s high-low high: the good place low: interview HOT HOT TOPICS – dogs are either

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Plants and Politics
04/04/2025

QUICK HITS it’s the start of AAARG! rafe and caleb are doing a pantry cleanout challenge for april 2025, where they only cook and eat food they already own. join the discord to follow along or to compete! please consider getting tested for tuberculosis because it’s on the rise in the USA, and you can

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Classified Bread
03/28/2025

QUICK HITS rafe’s new obsession: homemade overnight healthy oats. and thrive market. you can get 40% off your first order here! http://thrv.me/kfMuZF her rough recipe: 20g rolled oats 5g chia seeds 5g ground flax seed 15 grams whey protein powder (flavored if desired) 5 grams pumpkin seeds 5 grams hemp hearts 20ml half & half

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Rafe’s Travel Tips
03/21/2025

QUICK HITS rafe is back and has immediate sinus issues. is rafe’s place is trying to kill her? caleb watched sorry to bother you, they cloned tyrone, and played final fantasy tactics on ALL the consoles. and big news about therapy! HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: travels low: coming back caleb’s high-low high: low: federal

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Caleb Was a Bad Student
02/28/2025

QUICK HITS d&d, some BRIEF government stuff, and very exciting advances in food preservation technology! rafe and caleb both go down playstation memory lane, too. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: vine callback low: food caleb’s high-low high: butter bell low: federal firings HOT HOT TOPICS – I guess it DID happen. (⁠rahaca-doom-palace⁠) – even though

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Caleb Hate Anime
02/21/2025

QUICK HITS massages, drinks, and dinner! greek place called melina. caleb finished castlevania, and the scientist picked attack on titan for the next! rafe has some big thoughts on going to the doctor and both of them have big thoughts on the government. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: valentine’s low: allergies? caleb’s high-low high: valentine’s

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Rafe Got Distracted at the End
02/14/2025

QUICK HITS already skipping movies for rachel mcadams. tsk. rafe has been reading about cults. caleb did the superb owl thing with yummy food. big talk on espresso! and will these two ever feel well again? HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: kyler low: flu caleb’s high-low high: superbowl party low: lingering cold HOT HOT TOPICS

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That’s What VPN Does
01/31/2025

QUICK HITS caleb and rafe both worked on their computers this weekend! caleb also did more work organizing his D&D stuff, and rafe rambles a bit about morning appetite and new anime in 2025 (no spoilers, just listing some interesting stuff). she’s super hopeful for a new one by the same guy who did the

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Bananas
01/24/2025

QUICK HITS SIX BUNCHES OF BANANAS. THERE ARE CUTS. an end of a movie era, they are DONE with william h. macy movies! and they choose the next actor! what an exciting way to start 2025. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: turkey gravy low: wrong doctor’s office caleb’s high-low high: dropout LIVE low: bread knife

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Preventative Maintenance
01/17/2025

QUICK HITS caleb had a friendsgiving and got new awesome software for d&d called obsidian. he’s loving on some youtube channels like mystic arts DM from iceland! nicole van der hoeven can help using obsidian with d&d. josh plunkett is another obsidian wizard with the additional patreon VAULT. there are a couple rafe rants in

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Hopeful Floats
01/10/2025

QUICK HITS it’s GARY’S BIRTHDAY. caleb had a virgil’s root beer float (unrelated). he’s also dealing with a pretty down week. mental health is important, everyone. rafe loves snow and working from home! today is the LAST DAY to suggest an actor for the podcast. head over to the discord server NOW. HIGH LOWS rafe’s

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An Exercise in Catharsis
01/03/2025

QUICK HITS HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025!! it’s review time! do we have 2025 goals? ours is to GET A NEW ACTOR for the podcast! caleb talks about yarn and nosferatu (no big spoilers). rafe talks about tearing down cardboard boxes. hot frosty was super cute! we recommend watching it who cares it’s a christmas movie

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The Adjustment Bureau
12/13/2024

QUICK HITS gorgeous places to get murdered! https://getpocket.com/explore/item/these-are-the-most-secluded-hikes-in-the-u-s caleb went to my neighbor totoro, and got homemade marshmallows by POSHMALLOW. and sour patch kids! caleb also got board games! he’s been watching “sit down and shut up.” HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: affiliate anniversary & STICKERS low: worst headache booooo caleb’s high-low high: movie theater

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What’s Beanless Coffee?
12/06/2024

QUICK HITS thanksgiving catchup! caleb had beanless coffee in new york! caleb saw a lot of art with the scientist and then ran into BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPERS. speaking of shoppers, caleb got more PC parts. hooray! if you wanna research charities, look into give.org HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: charlie the unicorn series low: neck

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Holiday First Aid
11/29/2024

QUICK HITS HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND BLACK FRIDAYYYYY. ever thought of having raccoon instead of turkey? rafe talks about her romance novels like glint (raven kennedy) and the monsters night trilogy. caleb spills about the secrets of world of warcraft green motorcycle mount!?! HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: reading low: tough conversations caleb’s high-low high: computer

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Manifest Destiny
11/22/2024

QUICK HITS MANIFEST is the word of the year. the incredibles and singing in the rain! double d&d for caleb was lovely. and what’s up with the shelf pins in cupboards? caleb will never get what he needs. also young dog problems. can’t just have a calm home life. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: stream

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Ramfeezled
11/15/2024

QUICK HITS trump is hellbent on creating a hellscape. that’s cool. the kitchn tested different fats to cook grilled cheese so you don’t have to – and rafe read the article so you don’t have to. https://www.thekitchn.com/grilled-cheese-skills-showdown-23310755 and rafe may have been a sobbing mess after reading about endangered snails in hawaii. look, YOU read

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I’m Tired, Boss
11/08/2024

QUICK HITS lol what the fuck is wrong with people, actually voting for trump? honestly not even about being a republican but the fact he lies almost every speech he gives and he has admitted to having no respect for women and he stole money from a charity?! like what? this is a person you

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SPOOKTACULAR 2024
11/01/2024

QUICK HITS HAPPY SPOOKTACULAR 2024!!!! thank you for spending you halloween with us and celebrating our FIVE HUNDREDTH EPISODE!!! rafe is very drunk. caleb had a lot of stuff going on like dishwasher stuff, cooking SO MUCH, and his posessed PC. he heard about a point-and-click called PRIM and it seems pretty cool. check it

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Crunchy Tapioca
10/25/2024

QUICK HITS NEXT WEEK IS SPOOKTACULAR!!! rafe ate a fancy new dessert at jack in the box!! caleb had a super good weekend, except the constant drama with the goddamn dishwasher and maybe those allergies. and hey, are you ready for a starburst conspiracy? and caleb watched a HORNY movie with the scientist. also he

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Vinegar Fingers
10/18/2024

QUICK HITS caleb regales with dog shit stories, his renn faire finds, what’s going on with shots, and how come we keep changing the day of podcast movie night. there’s a hunt for a leather chair, there’s a water pick mishap – listen, just listen. HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: lashes baby!!! low: food decisions

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My Teeth Are Breathing
10/11/2024

QUICK HITS FAT BEAR WEEK IS OVER. GGs GRAZER. https://explore.org/fat-bear-week rafe tried duke nukem and blood and wow, she loves being bad at games with fun people. melania trump is pro-choice!! there’s magic the gathering commander drama, with four cards being banned and WotC taking over?! caleb got the big shots, and also SUNDAY SUNDAY

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I Can’t Feel My Brain Right Now
10/04/2024

QUICK HITS FAT BEAR WEEK TIME TO VOTE. https://explore.org/fat-bear-week couple taking uber were in a horrible wreck and can’t sue the company for damages: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwy9j8ldp0lo https://www.npr.org/2024/10/02/nx-s1-5136615/uber-car-crash-lawsuit-uber-eats-arbitration-terms caleb confirms allergy stuff is getting stronger EVERY DAY. will it take over his entire diet?! HIGH LOWS rafe’s high-low high: temperature low: bear died calab’s high-low high: wonderful

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It’s the Bear Show
09/27/2024

QUICK HITS FAT BEAR WEEK APPROACHES. are you prepared?!?! https://explore.org/fat-bear-week seriously though, fuck uber eats. even following all their rules, they don’t want to refund or try to get your food to you. rafe read some good news! maybe we can do more do trap carbon. maybe. read more about equatic’s carbon removal here. caleb

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Accidental Fasting
09/20/2024

QUICK HITS rafe might get a CHEESE MAKER SOON. caleb had some ups and downs, mostly downs, but he did see beetlejuice 2 and gives a SPOILER-FREE rundown. will throwing everything out in the open help rafe stay organized? probably not. read more about the out-in-the-open technique here. how much would you love to find

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Joy is Different Than Terror
09/13/2024

QUICK HITS everyone’s getting sick! trump did some not nice things related to 9/11! rafe read part of an article about people who have been cheated on being marked for LIFE. she also read an article about people on the autism spectrum being more likely to die by suicide. reach out; get help! caleb had

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