The Best of You

Today's Scripture: John 15:12–13

Jesus calls us to love sacrificially. But how do you know when you're making a healthy sacrifice for someone you love—and when you're slowly losing yourself in the process? The distinction matters, especially when you've learned to equate being a good Christian with always putting yourself last.

We explore:

Go Deep...

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 29:25

Have you ever said yes when you wanted to say no—or agreed with someone just to avoid conflict? People-pleasing can become an automatic response, especially when you've learned that keeping others happy is the safest way to maintain connection. But you can begin to change this pattern without losing your compassion for others.

We explore:

Why people-pleasing can feel almost impossible to stop

What fawning reveals about your fear of disappointing others

How to find security beyond someone else's approval

Small ways to pr...

Today's Scripture: 1 John 4:1–2

How do you become wise about who to trust without growing suspicious of everyone? In a world full of charismatic leaders, confident voices, and competing spiritual claims, John's instruction to "test the spirits" offers a powerful way to practice discernment while keeping your heart open.

In today's episode, we explore:

Go Deeper:

...

How do you know you can trust someone?

In a world where charisma, confidence, and even vulnerability can be carefully performed, knowing who we can trust feels more important than ever.

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison sits down with longtime friend, therapist, and author Dr. Chuck DeGroat to explore what real character looks like, why genuine change is slower than we want it to be, and how to discern the difference between surface-level transformation and lasting integrity. Together, they unpack this incredibly important question of discerning when someone is trustworthy, as well as how...

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 27:9, 17

Finding good friends as an adult can be surprisingly difficult. Friendships change, life circumstances shift, and loneliness can creep in even when we're surrounded by people. Proverbs offers a beautiful picture of friendship that combines genuine enjoyment with the kind of honesty and wisdom that helps us grow.

In today's episode, we explore:

Today's Scripture: Matthew 16:21–23

What happens when someone who genuinely loves you questions a decision you know you need to make? Even Jesus faced resistance from a close friend who wanted to protect him. His response reveals something surprising about the relationship between selflessness, inner strength, and staying true to your calling.

In today's episode, we explore:

Today's Scripture: Psalm 31:14–20

Have you ever been in a painful situation where others are urging you to take action, but something deep within you is telling you to wait? There's a difference between avoiding a hard decision and discerning that the time to act hasn't yet come. Psalm 31 offers a powerful picture of what it means to face difficult circumstances honestly while entrusting yourself to God's timing.

In today's episode, we explore:

Today's Scripture: James 4:7 (listener request)

How do you know whether painful thoughts are coming from a wounded part of your soul or from spiritual opposition? When we're caught in cycles of rumination, self-criticism, or shame, discerning what's happening within us can be complicated. But we don't always have to identify the exact source of a thought to know how to respond to it.

We explore:

*How psychology and spiritual warfare intersect

*Why painful feelings need compassion, but shaming thoughts need to be challenged

*What James 4:7 teaches us about resisting...

Have you ever wondered whether you're truly burned out or simply depleted? And what happens when, in the process of meeting everyone else's needs, you lose touch with important parts of yourself?

In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and co-author of the trailblazing book, Boundaries, to explore how we can recognize burnout, restore our emotional health, and reconnect with the parts of ourselves we may have lost along the way.

Drawing from his new book, Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your...

Today's Scripture: 1 Samuel 17:28-30 (Listener request)

Have you ever felt like you're always the one being blamed or misunderstood in your family or relationships? When you're repeatedly cast as the difficult or sensitive one, it's easy to begin questioning your own perspective—and even your sense of who you are.

We explore:

*What family systems theory teaches us about scapegoating and the roles we take on in relationships
*How being repeatedly blamed can shape your identity and make it difficult to trust your own perspective
What David's response to his brother re...

Today's Scripture: John 5:1-6

Is there an area of your life where you've longed for healing but have almost given up on things changing? Maybe you've prayed, sought help, and tried everything you know to do. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our circumstances—or so attached to a particular vision of healing—that we struggle to imagine what else might be possible.

explore:

*Various ways we respond to Jesus' question, "Do you want to get well?"
*How we adapt to painful circumstances, and why familiar patterns can make change feel unsettling
...

Today's Scripture: Psalm 139:13–16

Have you ever found yourself reaching for your phone, looking for something to eat when you're not hungry, or compulsively checking things off your to-do list? Sometimes these are simply habits. But sometimes they're small signals from within—what I like to think of as your soul's bids for connection. In today's episode, we explore:
*Why we are both wonderfully made and wounded—and what that means for how we relate to ourselves
*How the Gottmans' concept of bids for connection applies to our inner lives
*How to recognize the subtle ways y...

Today's Scripture: Ephesians 3:14–21

You may know in your head that God loves you. But what does it mean to actually experience that love in the deepest places of who you are?
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on what it means to become rooted and established in love. She explores how God’s love can begin to reach the fearful, striving, and hurting parts of us—not just as something we believe, but as something we learn to receive.
Go Deeper: Learn more about becoming rooted in God’s love in The Secure Soul and The Se...

What happens when we finally get quiet enough to encounter ourselves, God, and what’s underneath all the noise?

In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by former pastor and New York Times bestselling author John Mark Comer to talk about his new book, Into the Quiet, and the surprisingly difficult practice of silence and solitude. They talk about what happens when we stop filling every empty space with our phones, work, entertainment, and distraction. What comes up in the quiet isn’t always what we expect.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

* Wh...

Today's Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1–11

What if the season you’re in isn’t something to escape, but something to name honestly? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the invitation to recognize the season of life you’re actually living. Some seasons hold joy, others grief, and many hold both at once. Naming what’s true can help us stop fighting reality and become more open to God’s presence within it.
Go Deeper: Learn more about the practice of naming what’s hard in I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. You can read the first few chapters free...

Today's Scripture: Luke 10:29–37

What if the part of you you most want to get rid of is also carrying something important?
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the parable of the Good Samaritan and turns the story inward. She explores the parts of us we distrust, criticize, or try to push away—and how learning to meet those places with compassion can change the way we love God, ourselves, and other people.
Go Deeper: Learn more about working with the different parts of your soul in Boundaries for Your Soul and The Secure...

Today's Scripture: Psalm 86:11

There are so many voices competing for our attention—telling us what to believe, what to fear, who to distrust, and where our loyalty belongs.
In today’s episode, Dr. Alison returns to a simple prayer for an undivided heart. She explores what it looks like to become more deeply rooted in God, and how bringing every part of yourself honestly into God’s presence.
Go Deeper: Notice one place where you feel scattered, pressured, or pulled by the voices around you today. Pause before reacting and pray: “Teach me your way, Lord. Gi...

What happens when trying to be more secure (on the surface) backfires?

This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Marisa Franco, about her new book, Worth. They explore a different way to think about anxious and avoidant attachment, the surprising science of how old memories continue to shape our present relationships, and why healing doesn’t require making someone else the villain.

They also talk about grief, empathy, and a powerful experience Marisa had in therapy that changed how she understood the parts of herself she had spent years trying to hide.

In th...

What happens to your capacity to trust God when life has taught you to brace for disappointment?

You may still believe God is good. You may know the Scriptures and have walked with Him for years. And yet there can be places inside of you that still struggle to trust His goodness toward you.

This week, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author and radio host Susie Larson for an honest conversation about trauma, chronic illness, unanswered prayer, and what it means to keep trusting God when your circumstances remain painfully unresolved.

Drawing...

Sexual wounding shows up in so many different ways, and it affects so many men and women. 

Maybe something happened that felt off, invasive, confusing, or inappropriate, but you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve never used the words sexual abuse or sexual violation because what happened didn’t fit the picture you had in mind.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by trauma expert and bestselling author Dr. Dan Allender for a compassionate conversation about sexual abuse, sexual wounding, shame, trust, and the road toward healing.

Dan...

Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself?

Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging.

Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in ord...

You love the kids you've been called to care for. You’re grateful most of the time.

But sometimes your hidden feelings are still, well.... complicated.

You may feel frustrated by how much is asked of you, lonely in the load you’re carrying, jealous of other moms who seem to have it easier, or ashamed that motherhood doesn’t always feel the way you thought it would.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by longtime friends, ministry leaders, and authors of the new book Moms on the Way, Kathy Tuan-Mac...

Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18

How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces.

You’ll learn:

*Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom
*How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility
*The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom
*Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence
*One way to d...

What if some of the qualities you’ve learned to call “strength” are clues to a wound underneath?

You may be responsible, independent, productive, and good at taking care of everyone else. But when those patterns become extreme, they can sometimes point to wounds you’ve learned to carry alone.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by therapist and author Sheila Wise Rowe for a conversation about the less obvious ways trauma can shape our lives.

Together, they explore how people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-sufficiency, minimizing pain, and avoiding conflict can become protective...

Today’s Scripture: Deuteronomy 30:11–14

What if the next faithful step isn’t as far away as it feels? When fear and uncertainty take over, we can turn discernment into an exhausting search for perfect clarity. But Scripture offers a more grounded way forward: God’s wisdom is often nearer than we think.

You’ll learn:

*Why anxiety can make a simple decision feel impossible
*How the search for certainty can keep you stuck
*Why discomfort doesn’t always mean you’re on the wrong path
*How to recognize the wisdom God has alread...

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:23-24 (Listener Request)
What happens when you genuinely try to make things right—and the other person refuses to participate? Jesus takes reconciliation seriously, but that doesn’t mean you can force another person to acknowledge harm, tell the truth, or repair what has been broken.

You’ll learn:

*What Jesus’ command to “go and be reconciled” actually asks of you
*The crucial difference between making a repair attempt and achieving mutual repair
*Why reconciliation cannot be created by one person alone
*How the pressure to “make peace” can sometimes pr...

Today’s Scripture: Proverbs 25:11–15

What do you do when you need to say something hard—but you don’t want to become harsh in the process? Proverbs gives us a surprising picture of strength: words that are clear and truthful, yet governed by patience, wisdom, and love. You’ll learn:

*Why speaking gently doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations
*How to tell the difference between assertiveness, aggression, and silence
*Why overexplaining can become an attempt to control someone’s response
*What trustworthy words sound like when something difficult needs to be said
*One questi...

Today's Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8–11 (Listener Request)

What does Scripture really mean when it says that “love covers over a multitude of sins”? Deep love protects dignity and makes room for mercy—but it also tells the truth, creates boundaries, and seeks genuine repair. You'll learn:

*The crucial difference between covering and covering up

*Why biblical love never requires you to hide ongoing harm

*How fear of conflict can disguise itself as “keeping the peace”

*Why forgiveness and repair are not the same thing

*How to hold truth, boundaries, dignity, and...

What if being secure doesn’t mean you never second-guess yourself?

If you replay conversations, second-guess yourself, worry about how you came across, or compare yourself to other people, you may assume security is something other people naturally have—and you somehow missed. But real security isn’t the absence of insecurity. It’s knowing where to return when insecurity shows up.

In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison shares her own lifelong struggle with insecurity, self-doubt, and the fear of not being enough—and why writing The Secure Soul changed the way she understands security a...

Today's Scripture: Jeremiah 29:4–7

What do you do when your life looks nothing like the one you imagined? Today's scripture is a surprising invitation to stop postponing your life until everything changes, without pretending that what happened was good or that your grief doesn’t matter. You'll learn:

*Why acceptance is different from approval or giving up

*How fighting reality can keep your nervous system perpetually braced

*The difference between resistance, giving up, and grounded agency

*Why investing in the present doesn’t mean abandoning hope for the future

*How...

Today's Scripture: Mark 2:1–12

Sometimes you can pray, hope, and keep moving forward. And sometimes you simply can’t carry it all by yourself. Today's Scripture is powerful picture of what healing can look like in community—and a reminder that needing someone else to hold hope with you is not a failure of faith. You'll learn:

*The loneliness of self-sufficiency

*What the friends in Mark 2 teach us about shared faith

*Why healing is often an interdependent rather than solitary process

*How to distinguish sacred support from unsafe vulnerability

*Wha...

Today's Scripture: Proverbs 18:10

When fear rises, where do you run? We often reach instinctively for overthinking, control, numbing, busyness, or escape. But Scripture gives us another image. Today, we’ll explore what it means to run to the name of the Lord—not as a spiritual formula or magic phrase, but as a return to the character and presence of a God who is strong enough to hold what scares us. You'll learn:

*Why fear often sends us toward overthinking, control, or escape

*What Scripture actually means by “the name of the Lord”

*W...

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 2:14–18

Sometimes fear doesn’t feel like fear. It looks like staying ahead, planning for every possibility, holding people tightly, or never quite letting yourself rest. Hebrews 2 names a deeper fear beneath much of our striving: the fear of loss and death.

Today, we’ll explore how that fear quietly shapes our lives—and why Jesus frees us to loosen our grip and live more fully.

*How fear of loss can disguise itself as responsibility or control

*Why avoiding what we fear can actually give it more power

*The “...

What if the way you pray has more to do with your attachment patterns than you realize?

In this episode, Dr. Alison shares how her own prayer life changed as she became more securely attached—and the surprising shift that she didn’t understand at first. We’ll look at what attachment theory can teach us about the way we experience closeness, why deeply feeling or anxiously attached parts of us may equate intensity with love, and how healing can lead to a steadier, more integrated way of relating—with other people and with God.

In this...

Today's Scripture: Isaiah 42:1–4

Sometimes you’re not falling apart—you’re simply bruised. You’re still functioning and showing up, but certain places inside feel tender, weary, or easily overwhelmed.

Today, we’ll explore what it means to receive God’s gentleness in the places where you’re hurting.

*Why being tender doesn’t mean you’re weak
*How hurt can cause us to guard or criticize vulnerable parts of ourselves
*What the bruised reed reveals about the character of Jesus
*Why God’s strength and gentleness belong together
*One way to treat your...

Today's Scripture: Matthew 9:9-13

Shame tells you to hide the parts of yourself that feel messy, reactive, needy, or disappointing. But Jesus does the opposite of what we often expect: He moves toward Matthew before Matthew has cleaned up his life. Today, we’ll look at what this story reveals about the heart of God and why the places you most want to hide may be the very places where mercy wants to meet you.

*Why Jesus didn’t wait for Matthew to become respectable

*How shame teaches us to hide the parts of o...

Today's Scripture: Psalm 30:1–5

Sometimes the hardest part of a painful season isn’t simply surviving it—it’s discovering that joy still feels far away even after the worst has passed. In Psalm 30, David makes room for both realities: the night is real, and it doesn’t get the final word.

Today, we’ll explore why joy can feel risky after grief or disappointment and how to begin receiving goodness again without denying what still hurts. You'll learn:

*Why Psalm 30 doesn’t minimize grief or rush you toward happiness

*Why prolonged hardship can m...

Today's Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:14–26

What do you do when you feel like you don’t belong — or when you’ve learned to protect yourself by pretending you don’t need anyone? Today’s Scripture gives us Paul’s picture of the body, where every part matters and no part can say, “I don’t belong” or “I don’t need you.” This episode helps you recognize the strategies you use around belonging, stop measuring your worth by comparison, and practice showing up in the body as someone who is already needed and loved.

You’ll learn:

*Why feeling like you...

What happens when the faith that once held you no longer feels like it can carry the questions you’re asking now?

You may still love God. You don’t want to leave your faith behind. But the beliefs, practices, or ways of relating to God that once sustained you begin to feel too small for the life you’re living.

In this week’s conversation, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and spiritual director Ian Morgan Cron to explore the tender space between silencing your questions and burning everything down.

Through...

Today's Scripture: 2 Samuel 9:1–8
What do you do when shame tells you that you are too damaged, too much, or too far behind to belong? Today’s Scripture tells the story of a wounded man who is hiding, and King David’s kindness that brings him back to the table. This episode helps you recognize the hiding place inside your soul, receive kindness without self-evisceration, and begin to trust that belonging can meet you wounds and all.

You’ll learn:
*Why shame drives us into hiding and withdrawal
*How belonging can feel threatening when your history...