Satansplain

What's the deal with that boobless Baphomet statue that Christians keep showing in the media? Hear about its crazy origins, the false promises of the political prank group who created it, why it has nothing to do with Satanism, and a broader examination of American religious monuments to put it in context. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 
Related info and links on this episode: https://satansplain.com/non-episodes/oklahoma-ten-commandments-case-links-and-timeline/

00:00 - Intro
03:19 - Summary
07:36 - That Boobless Baph
11:56 - Some questions quickly answered / NPCs all around
17:35 - Can you ha...

Hear a long-lost 2020 discussion on the topic of greater magic and the role of Satanic ritual in Satanism, including addressing popular misconceptions, advice on finding other Satanists for group ritual, and some of the hilariously demented messages the speakers had received. This was a follow-up from the 2016 interview heard in Satansplain episode #125. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:05 - About the 2020 interview
04:39 - Interview intro
07:46 - Working definition of "Greater Magic"
09:32 - Yes, it's still atheistic
15:24 - Infernal Names
17:27 - Satanic magic vs. "black magic"
20:46...

A look at the concept of "human rights" and some of the all too-often unquestioned dogma that goes along with that. Also responses to listener mail on topics including self-sacrifice and leadership, and some amusing Satanic anecdotes. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro

00:58 - "Free" Satanic Bible redux

06:52 - Leadership and self-sacrifice?

15:47 - Satanecdotes: Marching band, Devil in his own home town

23:11 - Dyer's Email

28:57 - Freaking out over Magister Michael Rose's quote

34:20 - "Human Rights"

39:23 - "Civil Ri...

Hear a long-lost 2016 recording of a discussion on Greater Magic, answering questions and addressing misconceptions of Satanic ritual and how the Satanic concept of magic fits within an atheistic worldview.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00:00 - Intro
00:00:51 - About the 2016 recording
00:03:34 - 2016 introduction
00:05:43 - Defining "magic" in Satanism
00:08:37 - Place in the brain?
00:11:41 - An every day thing?
00:13:52 - Conjuration of Lust
00:18:17 - Conjuration of Compassion
00:19:36 - Conjuration of Destruction
00:22:04 - People who want to misunderstand
00:24:18 - Group vs. Solitary rituals
00:25:27 - M...

Hear why a free Satanic Bible is, ironically, unsatanic. Also hear talk about Satanically-relevant trademarks and copyrights, and one particularly ridiculous conspiracy theory regarding Dolly Parton. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support  
Original 2014 article: https://churchofsatan.com/free-satanic-bible-is-unsatanic/ 

0:00 - Intro
0:56 - Dolly Parton, and why conspiracy theorists are the worst
5:50 - James asking about DaddyBaphy and Black Craft Cult's rip off
17:13 - To the idiots who say "the name Satanism isn't copyrighted"
19:46 - Satanecdote: Elevator
21:38 - Satanecdote: The $20 bill 
26:03 - Lost emails? 
27:03 - Why a Free S...

After covering what Satanism has to say about life and death in part 1, part 2 continues with a deeper dive into the topic of dealing with death and grief. 

About the show: https://satansplain.com
Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:12 - Overview, superstitious vs. scumbag
05:37 - Grief: What we DON'T do
08:08 - The 2025 letter (death of a pet)
12:06 - Cremation vs. burial and Satanism's "requirements"
13:36 - Answers from Infidels.org's "Introduction to Atheism" FAQ, 1997
20:15 - On friends and family, Rule #2, myth of the "Satanic Community"

Presenting part 1 of a 2-part set of episodes on life, death, and grief. We'll look at how Satanism particularly views the phenomenon of death, from views on the afterlife, to Satanic funerals, to dealing with the death of those around us.

About the show: https://satansplain.com
Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

0:00 - Intro
0:53 - Overview                   
3:56 - Life After Death Through Fulfillment of the Ego
9:08 - Labels are good. Buddhism sucks.
18:12 - I-Theism vs. Pretentiousness
22:15 - Aside: ECI, afterlife
26:46 - Fearing death, spiritual pipedreams
30:52 - About grief...

A third-side look at the recent news story about the Texas Board of Education allegedly forcing Bible study. Also, a Satanic review of the 2026 movie Citizen Vigilante, and the origins of the Satanic ritual phrase, "Move and appear".

About the show: https://satansplain.com
Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 
Texas BOE 2030 reading list: https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/28277289-texas-religious-school-readings/

0:00 - Intro
1:01 - Announcements 
2:46 - Bible in Texas schools: Did you read the article?
6:06 - What happened?
10:08 - Lame, but not illegal
20:58 - Satanecdote 1 
22:22 - Satanecdote 2 

No, Anton LaVey did not refer to Satanism as a "new conservative movement" in a 1970 issue of McCall's magazine, as some liars claim. But we'll take a full look at that long lost article anyway, showcasing one of many journalist's entertaining reports from the early years of the Church of Satan.

00:00 - Intro

00:57 - Where is episode 119?

02:03 - Questions about Judith Rascoe's "San Francisco's Church of Satan", 1970 McCall's article<...

A look back at the infamous Church of Satan High Mass, held on 6/6/06. Hear shared memories of that night, related events, and the more general nature of actual Satanic gatherings.

00:00 - Intro
01:24 - Reminder: Satanism is not a congregational religion
03:22 - But Satanists do sometimes get together, by choice!
07:22 - 6/6/06 and why
10:33 - A message from Church of Satan High Priest, Magus Peter H. Gilmore
19:21 - A week in L.A.: Remembering Shawn
23:59 - 2016 reflections on 2006

Are actual Satanists giving prayers to the Devil in government meetings?!? Are certain voters possessed by literal demons?!? The answer to both questions is of course is no. Hear about one lunatic who thinks otherwise, along with equally delusional trolls who help confirm his paranoia, and some political third side observations.

Gateway Pundit article: https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2026/05/wayne-root-proof-las-vegas-that-democrats-are/

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support  

0:00 - Intro

3:58 - Start of Wayne Root's article

7:52 - Third Side Rant

15:14 - Back to the Article

17:16 - Dumb arg...

A look at the modern sacred cow of opinion entitlement and its poor justification for faulty thinking and solipsism. Also, the surprising Satanic merits of the classic comedy film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", plus some anecdotes from fellow Satanists on when their Satanism being detected or undetected worked in their favor.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Article, "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion": https://theconversation.com/no-youre-not-entitled-to-your-opinion-9978

00:00 - Intro

01:07 - About the article

02:52 - "No, You're Not Entitled To Your Opinion"

05:52 - Dunning-Kruger and S...

Happy 60th anniversary to the Church of Satan! Hear some Church of Satan history, how and when members get together, the anniversary celebrations, why we don't use grottos, and some trivia about the hidden track on the Satanic Mass album.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Church of Satan history: https://churchofsatan.com/history 

The Grotto System: https://churchofsatan.com/the-grotto-system/ 

00:00 - Intro

01:21 - History quotations

07:16 - More on the Church of Satan

10:29 - Satanists getting together

13:58 - Getting together: bigger numbers

Satansplain gives answers to questions on the vague demands for Satanism to "evolve". Also Satanic films, the mistake of equating structure with conformity, and some stories from fellow Satanists on putting personal desires above counterproductive pride.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support  

COS film list: https://churchofsatan.com/sources-film-list/ 

00:00 - Intro

01:12 - Questions about "Satanists" in movies (Ready or Not)

04:55 - Ricky Behot's weird post

10:22 - Ricky's post, continued

14:01 - "Newest youtube video/podcast?"

18:59 - Satanism and Philosophical Praxis

24:27 - Str...

The Church of Satan's FAQ has been expanded with the frequently asked questions (and answers) concerning Satanism and atheism. A comprehensive essay is also now available.

00:00 - Intro

01:29 - Satansplain 101, and the 80-20 Rule

05:57 - "Hey, could you send us pamphlets to upset the fundies?"

06:45 - "How can you be an atheist and a S...

As the Church of Satan approaches its diamond year anniversary, a new stylized rendering of the Sigil of Baphomet is presented. Hear more about the sigil, equinoxes, the false notion of Satanic victims, and some odd listener mail.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 
More on the Sigil of Baphomet: https://churchofsatan.com/history-sigil-of-baphomet/
Spring message: https://churchofsatan.com/exquisite-equinox-spring-2026/

00:00 - Intro

02:10 - Equinox 2026 essay / Satanic Holidays

06:50 - More on the origin of the sigil

13:35 - Rest of the equinox message

14:27 - Satanic Victims? (e...

"Why are you a Satanist? It's a good question to ask yourself from time to time." We'll explore Magistra Blanche Barton's essay which opens with this line, along with "Satanism discussion" forums that don't have much in the way of Satanists nor discussion, and finding ones which do.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro

01:16 - "Best of" the "hurr durr" voice?

02:39 - Satanecdote: Discord Drama

07:03 - But wait, it gets worse!

12:02 - More about Satanism forums

25:51 - About Blanche Barton

27:04...

Answering emails regarding fake "Church of Satan" pages, Satanic rituals for equinoxes and solstices, weirdos obsessed with Anton LaVey's ethnicity, and advice for young Satanists.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Youth Communique: https://churchofsatan.com/satanic-youth-communique/

00:00 - Intro

01:07 - Dealing with fake "Church of Satan" channels

08:06 - Rituals for equinoxes, solstices, etc?

16:58 - Satanecdote: the holy water bottle

22:45 - "Does Satanism support Jews? I need to know!" Um, what?

35:50 - Advice for young Satanists

"The Satanic Rituals" (Anton LaVey's 1972 companion book to "The Satanic Bible"), presents many group rituals for Satanists. These rituals can however be adopted for solitary use as well. This episode also addresses some misconceptions regarding the role of ritual in Satanism, and answering listener questions about the Enochian Keys.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro

01:17 - Reminder: Satanism is a religion

04:52 - Yes, we have ritual

08:44 - Reminder: ALL religion ritual is "LARPing"

09:45 - Group rituals

12:45 - Using TSR for solitary rituals

What constitutes "Satanic music"? It's certainly not all about heavy metal. But in this episode, we'll explore why people make that association, along with many other Satanic angles to the topic of music, and also share some relevant writings from Anton Szandor LaVey. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
03:15 - Heavy metal?
08:22 - The "horns" gesture
14:29 - No, it's not all that Satanic
16:12 - Church of Satan's answer on Montel Williams
20:57 - Quote from Satan Speaks
27:10 - What is Satanic Music?
30:57 - Yes, We Have No...

Satansplain answers questions about greater magic, Satanic Sin #9, relationships with non-Satanists, and the myth of Satanic "denominations".

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro

02:42 - Satanecdote: Getting a synthesizer

08:24 - We don't spell "magic" with a "k"

12:55 - Lack of Aesthetics for a blind man

24:32 - Christian fiancé?

33:04 - The myth of Satanic "denominations", redux

38:06 - Does Cevin Soling's group even HAVE a religion?

42:53 - "But why do YOU get to define it?"

46:14 - We don't need Sa...

Satansplain continues the exploration of the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 2, sins number 4 through 9 will be examined.

The Nine Satanic Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:27 - Satanic Sin #4: Self-deceit
08:45 - Satanic Sin #5: Herd conformity
14:28 - Satanic Sin #6: Lack of Perspective
30:05 - Satanic Sin #7: Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
33:15 - Satanic Sin #8: Counterproductive Pride
40:10 - Satanic Sin #9: Lack of Aesthetics
44:15 - Objective standards of beauty

Satansplain presents a look at the 9 Satanic Sins. Here in part 1, we'll learn where the list comes from, why the list is part of Satanism, and an examination of sins number 1, 2, and 3. 

The 9 Sins: https://churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins/ 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:49 - Note to the Christian dorks who can't read 
03:12 - About the 9 Satanic Sins
07:47 - More about the sins 
14:38 - Satanic Sin #1: Stupidity 
17:52 - Religious people are stupid? It's not quite that simple. 
25:36 - Satanecdote and Rosemary's Baby 
28:43 - Satanic...

"The only proper response to them is no response!" Or is it? A look into selective debate engagement and the people who fear it. Also, two recent examples of channels desperate to name-drop the Church of Satan for rage bait, and the end result.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:43 - "Don't respond to trolls! Ever!", they say
05:00 - No, there are sometimes good reasons: 1) Wrath
09:29 - 2) It's fun
10:28 - 3) Sharpening the Intellect
11:54 - 4) The audience
15:19 - Further thoughts
23:37 - Lisa Barlow's tequila and Church o...

Satansplain #103 - Yes, We Have No Occultism

A look at the essay, "Yes, We Have No Occultism", distinguishing Satanism from the occult religions. Also a Satanic anecdote about non-Satanists and Satanists at a Halloween concert, plus answers to questions about goodguy badges, life and death, and atheism and the human need for religion. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro

01:05 - "Yes, We Have No Occultism" by Magus Peter H. Gilmore

09:04 - Mixing Satanism with other things

14:35 - Satanic Anecdote (Devil's Night 2025, Tampa FL)

Demons and werewolves on Halloween! Answering listener questions about Satanic ritual, Anton LaVey's essay on lycanthropy, and the human need to "demonize" selected people.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
00:57 - Halloween and the importance of dedicated days
05:05 - Bill's Halloween
08:00 - Parchment Burning
10:36 - Destruction ritual, Enochian keys, reminder on why
15:48 - Reminder: Accepting intellectually is not the same as accepting emotionally
24:17 - Werewolves
29:34 - On "demonizing" political figures

Right-wing Christian journalist Mary Brooke tries quoting Satansplain for her wild conspiracy theories about Satanism, furries, and Charlie Kirk. Meanwhile, equally annoying left-wing people are throwing fits over a politically incorrect video of Anton LaVey. Satansplain addresses both, along with answering listener mail about the previous two episodes of Satansplain, a reiteration on Satanism and politics, reflections on the landmark Satanism podcast Satanism Today, and also something the herd calls a tool of the Devil himself: mathematics.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro

01:20 - On episodes 99 and 100

08:21...

In celebration of 100 episodes of Satansplain, Magister Bill sits down for a discussion with the Church of Satan High Priest himself, Magus Peter H. Gilmore. A variety of topics are covered, including Satanic ritual, supernatural versus supernormal, Anton LaVey's atheism, conspiracy theories about Satanism, meetings between Church of Satan members, and the applications of artificial intelligence from music composition to Satanic self-improvement.

Official site: https://satansplain.com

Support Satansplain on locals: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

Merch: https://store.satansplain.com 

00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:48 - Anton LaVey's atheism and the myth th...

Many people have been mourning the death of Charlie Kirk while others have been celebrating it. But perhaps there are some Satanic third side views to consider. Hear one Satanist's thoughts on Charlie Kirk and the impact of his assassination, along with a necessary recap on politics and Satanism.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

Charlie Kirk's 2022 Newsweek article: https://www.newsweek.com/free-speech-satanism-opinion-1681893

00:00 - Intro
01:05 - Who was Charlie Kirk?
08:23 - Reminder about politics and Satanism
13:25 - Rubin Report Quote, and why I'm a right-leaning Satanist
16:35...

Satansplain responds to listener mail on a variety of topics, including a Satanic look at Elon Musk, the power of A.I., the books The Satanic Witch and The Satanic Warlock, joining the Church of Satan, and also dealing with morons bent on "disproving" Anton LaVey's biography. Plus, a Satanic anecdote from the days of the Satanic Panic.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:13 - Satanic Witch vs. Satanic Warlock
04:00 - Losers trying to "debunk" LaVey's biography
09:58 - Satanecdote (Possessed album)
14:59 - Church of Satan and Illegal Activity

Is there any actual evidence of a religion calling itself Satanism before the Church of Satan? We'll look at one Satanist's undercover journey to find such evidence from the people who insist it exists.

Buy Warlock William Tull's horror anthology, "Cannibalia: A Feast of Horror and Suspense": https://a.co/d/dp5bCeB
Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
02:28 - Essay Intro: The Nature of the Internet
09:16 - The Plan
12:36 - Joining groups and posting a message
17:27 - The Experts
23:10 - The Experts, continued
25:28 - R...

Satansplain addresses the incredibly lame and desperate Christian trolling attempt at equating "M.A.G.A." and "Maga". Also some Satanic thoughts on the recent deaths of entertainers Ozzy Osbourne, Hulk Hogan, and Tom Lehrer, as well as "idols" in general. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:14 - "Pareidolia, will destroy ya..."
10:16 - "Maga". Is it true? About COS hierarchy
15:22 - Difference between Magus/Maga and High Priest/Priestess
16:45 - Why do they say this? What is their argument?
20:22 - Questions for the "Maga is the highest Sa...

Hear a Satanic anecdote on ritual-aided success, the importance of long-term indulgence, and cautions against self-limiting actions people often opt for. Also, dissecting a series of messages from a "Satanic organization" founder who had attempted to satansplain Enochian to Satansplain.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:36 - Satanic Anecdote  
03:23 - Distraction, prayer, rationalization; vs. Satanic ritual
07:18 - On Satanic Ritual
09:29 - Into Devi's messages
12:03 - Devi's first message
15:13 - Atlantean?
20:37 - Devi's second message
27:31 - Third message
29:34 - Third message - dramatic U-turn

With Satanists interacting with Satanists in this day and age of internet tribalism, we'll take a look at the essay "When Words Collide" by Church of Satan High Priest Peter H. Gilmore. Also answering listener mail about lesser and greater magic, plus Magister Bill's prank call recording on a Christian conspiracy theorist's talk show. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support  

"When Words Collide" essay: https://churchofsatan.com/magus-gilmore-discusses-rules-of-conduct-in-the-church-of-satan/ 

00:00 - Intro
01:10 - Candles in ritual
04:48 - Using Lesser Magic before Greater Magic
09:08 - Autism and "reading people"
14:41 - Radio Free...

Hear answers to listener mail on a variety of topics, including Satanic ritual, translations of Satanic works, Church of Satan membership, expectations on meeting fellow Satanists, and finishing with a related essay, "On Parties and Party". 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:21 - Radio Free Satan merch?
02:35 - Infernal Names
06:56 - German translations in Satanism
10:50 - Plans for year 60?
12:42 - Membership questions and meet-up expectations
14:44 - Religious, not spiritual!
21:48 - Lesser magic and caring what people think
24:44 - All 3 conjurations in one ritual?
31:43...

Bill shares his thoughts on the Church of Satan article "What To Do When Empathy is a Sin", as somebody who actually read it beyond the headline, along with an email from somebody who seemingly did not. 

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro
01:36 - Reminder: "LaVeyan Satanism" is a redundant term
04:12 - The email
08:57 - Oh no! Not ChatGPT! We're doomed!
14:47 - As long as we're playing the A.I. game...
16:10 - But first, a side rant
20:46 - And the opposite problem
27:18 - My take o...

Magister Bill responds to your questions about Satanic success, the construction of Satanic rituals, joining the Church of Satan, a Satanic look at Star Wars "Sith" mythology, and the impact over the years that technology has had on learning Satanism itself.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:05 - Satanic Success
07:41 - Praise from New Zealand
08:54 - Sith and Satanism?
14:00 - Some misconceptions of "DIY ritual"
21:48 - Satanecdote
27:00 - On mailing addresses and 6/6/60
31:51 - Technology and the experience of Satanic resources
40:11 - The real power o...

Part 3 continues on the same theme as the previous two episodes of Satansplain (accusations of Satanists being Nazis or even Zionists), this time with a critical look at Satanism vs. racialism.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro

03:55 - Godwin's Law, et al

09:19 - An email

14:10 - More on The Satanic Scriptures Quote

20:34 - An email, continued

23:19 - Back to the question

33:02 - About Not Like Most / Bearing the Devil's Mark

36:12 - Satanism and Racialism (Bearing the Devil's Mark)

While some idiots accuse Satanists of being "Nazi fascists, other idiots even accuse Satanists of being "Talmudic Jews". This episode picks up where the previous episode left off, with a further examine of these absurdities as well as a look at "The Fascism Question".

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support 

00:00 - Intro
01:00 - Recap
05:50 - "Zionist gunrunner"?
14:26 - Accumulation of personal experiences
17:12 - Is it that black and white?
23:31 - THE FASCISM QUESTION (Magus Peter H. Gilmore, 2007)
28:32 - Enter the COS
33:32 - Fascism and Statism
37:03 - T...

Sometimes Satanists get accused of being Nazi fascists. Other times, we're getting accused of being Jewish Zionists. These accusations can't both be right, but they can both be wrong. Hear part 1 of a multi-part episode on The Fascism Question and related topics.

Support Satansplain: https://satansplain.locals.com/support

00:00 - Intro, Summary

03:52 - Disclaimer: Some won't listen to reason (but debate can still be worth it)

11:03 - Ironic commonalities

13:59 - Definitions: group A and group B

21:16 - Group A: What plan?

25:32 - Group B's lack...