No More Perfect Podcast with Jill Savage

In the business world, the ones who make it to the top are often high-achieving, ruthless, and confident. They’re calculated risk-takers. All of these characteristics can help professionals move up the ladder—but they don’t always translate well in those same people’s personal lives. In fact, when people try to take the strategies that bring them workplace success and apply them at home, they can end up harming their marriages.

On the inside, high achievers often fear rejection and shy away from vulnerability—which can make it hard to achieve the close, loving relationships they desir...

A mother’s job is to teach her children to not need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success.

We pour our lives into our kids. We sacrifice, lose sleep, and make sure they have everything they need, only to have them one day leave to live on their own without us. My guest understands this feeling as a parent with one foot in and the other foot out of the launching phase.

Cristina Wright is an author, former homeschool mom, wife, and mother of two. Her first book, Launch Them We...

Talking about death can be a tender and uncomfortable subject, but our time on earth is temporary. Someday we will all leave this world, and many of us won’t get a warning of when that will occur.

While fear may want to push us away from this topic, conversations like this one help us begin to normalize talking about death. When we bring something hard like this into the light, it starts to feel less big and scary—and a little more manageable. When we face the reality of death, we empower ourselves to live in the...

Roosters, candy canes, thermometers, and antifungal cream. 

These are just a few of the ordinary items we saw God use in extraordinary ways during our time in Uganda this February. 

This journey of our ministry in Africa, which began with an untied shoelace on an Alabama sidewalk, continues to unfold in ways Mark and I never could have imagined. To hear how it all began, you can listen to Episode 135 and 210. Today, Mark and I are grateful and excited to share this special episode where we recap some of the highlights and God stories from ou...

A dad is foundational in every person’s life, but not everyone has a solid, stable father figure to rely on. 

When Mark and I work with couples and individuals in our coaching sessions, we are often able to trace a person’s current challenges back to father wounds. So many people are still being negatively affected by the difficult relationship they had with their father growing up—many of them without even realizing it.

As we help these people unpack the past, we can’t undo their experiences. But we can point to our Heavenly...

Forgiveness.

It’s one of the most powerful tools God gives us in marriage. Yet, when infidelity shatters trust, the path forward can feel confusing. What does real forgiveness actually look like? And how do you know if you’re doing it in a healthy way?

My guest today, Tim Tedder, is a licensed counselor and coach who has spent more than 20 years helping individuals and couples recover after infidelity. Tim’s work is shaped not only by professional training, but also by personal experience. After walking through the devastation of infidelity in his ow...

The chaos that betrayal can cause in a marriage is unlike almost anything else we experience as humans. When trust is shattered, everything feels unstable. Questions swirl. Emotions run high. And the path forward can feel confusing and painfully slow.

Mark and I know what that broken place feels like. And so does the couple joining us today.

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—known as The Raabsmith Team—are co-authors of Building True Intimacy. Together, they have developed practical tools to help couples rebuild trust and create lasting connection. Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach and Rest...

In a culture that is obsessed with perfection, it’s easy to believe that hospitality requires a spotless home, a carefully planned menu, and a seamless itinerary. But the truth is, connection has never required perfection.

Sometimes, the most meaningful moments in life happen with dishes in the sink and pillows on the floor. Deep down, most of us already know this to be true. And yet, inviting people into our space can still feel overwhelming.

That’s why, today, we’re asking the question:

What if hospitality isn’t about impressing others, but abou...

Vulnerability can feel like a high-stakes poker game where your only option is to go “all in” and either win big or lose everything. Many of us carry the painful memories of when opening up has gone wrong in the past, and these can keep us from opening up again.

However, when we dare to be vulnerable in spite of our fears, we can find intimacy, connection, and safety on the other side.

While it may feel intimidating to open up to your spouse, we can tell you from experience that this decision can be the...

Letting go is hard. It goes against our natural human urge to cling on tightly to the things we care about so we can maintain a sense of control. This internal game of tug-of-war is something we all struggle with. Even if you aren’t a self-proclaimed “control freak,” you can probably think of at least one area of your life in which you are being called to release control.

Surrender is an invitation to entrust each hope, worry, and pressing concern in our hearts to the one whose love for us goes beyond measure. To surrender means...

*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! 

Experiencing infidelity or broken trust in your marriage is one of the hardest challenges a couple can face, but that doesn’t mean it has to be the end your relationship. In this conversation, we are wrapping up our series on what it looks like to heal from betrayal in marriage, and this time, we are talking about the final step—how to...

*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! 

“Mom, don’t be foolish. He’s just going to do this again.”

Broken trust affects more than just your spouse. There’s a ripple effect that goes out and changes every relationship, from your children to your relatives, close friendships, and even neighbors.

We know that, when recovering from infidelity and broken trust, it can be difficult to know how to start mend...

*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! We love finding new ways to connect with you, and we hope you enjoy the added experience of watching along as you listen.

Have you ever thought:

I don’t love my spouse anymore. Marriage should be easier than this. My spouse doesn’t care about me.

If so, you are not alone. When relationships become rocky, it’s easy for lies like these to consume our minds.

Before...

*Note from Mark and Jill: We’re so glad to share that the No More Perfect Podcast is now available on YouTube! We love finding new ways to connect with you, and we hope you enjoy the added experience of watching along as you listen.

“Yes, I’m having an affair, and I’m not going to stop.”

Hearing these words would be absolutely heartbreaking for anyone. But if you’ve ever navigated infidelity, you’re certainly not alone.

The numbers are staggering, really. Statis...

Welcome to the first episode of 2026! As we welcome the new year, a time marked by fresh starts and new routines, it’s the perfect opportunity to talk about making over our mornings!

I personally needed this conversation because I am not a morning person, and I desperately need to make some changes. (Mark would say that I’m only aware of 6 o’clock happening once a day, and that is in the evenings.)

My guest, Tara Beth Leach, is a pastor, speaker, writer, and author. She’s the Senior Pastor at Good Shepherd Church in Naper...

Each year around Christmas, we like to do a special episode where we not only celebrate the holiday, but also look back on the last year and all that God has been teaching us. The days and months can often speed by us, and that’s why it’s so nice to take a moment to pause and reflect.

We are reviewing the entire year before moving into 2026, including why Mark has been on the podcast more (and why he’ll be returning more next year!), what it was like to start the year off with our Life 2...

We love Christmas! It’s our (and especially Mark’s) favorite time of year. Besides the decorations, presents, cheer, and time with family, Christmas marks a very special event. It’s when God sent His son to earth, which was the greatest expression of His love for us.

In our own personal story of redeeming our marriage together, one of the biggest lessons we learned was what love really looks like. It’s not that we were unloving in the 1.0 version of us; it’s just that we didn’t understand how to love each other and receive love...

Are you feeling restless today? Dissatisfied? Sometimes, when we’re feeling these unpleasant emotions, we can struggle to identify their source.

What you might not realize is that many of those feelings can come from the false beliefs we hold about the world, ourselves, and those around us. Many of us are believing lies that rob us of contentment and cripple our intimacy with God.

For Mark and I, becoming “lie detectors” in our own lives has been a big part of our healing process—both as individuals and as a married couple. That’s why I’m so...

This week’s episode will look a little bit different, as we are resharing one of our top five episodes of all time with you!

With the holiday season beginning, there will be countless opportunities for relationships to be strained. You’ll encounter many situations where you will have to interact with people that you would rather avoid.

We were designed to be in relationships. However, even though connecting with others is part of our DNA, navigating relationships can also be one of the most challenging parts of life. Joining me to help us e...

Can you believe that the holidays are just around the corner? We recently got our first snow in Illinois, and it’s got us in the holiday spirit!

Along with the merriment and celebrations of this season come various expectations, obligations, and family gatherings to attend. A few years ago, we started a tradition in our family of giving our children the gift of freedom when it comes to holiday events. 

While this may be unheard of in some families, this decision has brought our family much relief from the pressures that often come with the...

Every one of us knows what it’s like to hold prayers that haven’t been answered. That season of waiting can feel like one of the toughest battles of all. I experienced this myself during my marriage crisis, and I can’t tell you the number of times I cried out to the Lord to answer my prayer.

My guest knows what it’s like to live with an unanswered prayer. She searched for over 10 years for her biological father, all the while fervently praying that God would lead her to him.

Dr. Deanna Shrodes...

When we stand at the altar and say “I do,” our eyes are filled with stars. We’re certain we have found happily ever after.

After the wedding day, we find out that this marriage stuff is way more complicated than we initially thought. Once we are living out our day-to-day routine with another person, we find that challenges abound.

We talk about marriage a lot on this podcast, but today, we are going to get a little more specific. We’re diving deep into how marriage is experienced by men. Our guest for this conversa...

Have you heard about the dog and cat marriage? It might sound like a crazy concept, but it’s one that has helped us not only understand each other, but also help other couples understand how attachment styles are impacting their marriage.

We created this idea of “dogs” and “cats” to explain the different attachment styles, and we’ve discovered that applying this concept is one of the top ways we see marriages change and heal in our coaching sessions.

Regardless of whether you are more of a “cat” or a “dog”, everyone can benefit from this helpful an...

One of the most beautiful gifts we can give to others is our presence in their pain. Knowing you are not alone when you are walking through something hard is so important, especially when it involves the death of a spouse.

When you lose your teammate in life, it’s disorienting, overwhelming, and traumatic. Here to help us understand the difficult circumstances that arise from the passing of a spouse is my guest, Amy Graves Boyd.

Amy’s life took an unexpected turn in 2020 when she faced the loss of her first husband, Bryan. He pass...

What is the Next Day Principle?

It’s a practice that we have not only implemented in our own marriage and family, but it’s also something we recommend to other couples in our coaching all the time.

It helps to slow down reactivity, giving you time to clarify your feelings and determine what you still need to take to your spouse. The Next Day Principle is simply this: instead of reacting in the moment of a conflict with the full weight of your frustrations and emotions, you wait until the next day to bring it u...

As Christians, we are often unclear about God’s views on sex and intimacy. It can be a struggle to make sense of our temptations, shame, brokenness, longings, or desires. What is more, Christian churches and families are often divided in the nuances of sexuality, neglecting Jesus’ most important call to be unified as His body.

Mark and I often talk about the significance of surrender, but how should that impact our sex life?

My friend Dr. Juli Slattery is deeply familiar with both topics and is here to help us connect the dots between surr...

When brokenness strikes, it can feel impossible to know what to say or how to ask for help. Whether that brokenness is due to hard circumstances, an unexpected diagnosis, or the pain of a relationship ending, when we are hurting, all we want to do is retreat.

But it’s in these dark seasons when we need a community to lean on the most. How do we find the strength to reach out when we are battling some of our worst moments? What can we offer our friends who we know are hurting? And can God still us...

Have you ever met someone who was not at all like you? Maybe their thinking, mannerisms, or outlook was so different from your own that you clashed or struggled to connect with them?

The old proverb, “birds of a feather flock together” is a classic because it’s true! Building relationships with people who share your interests, hobbies, opinions, and goals often feels easier than stepping outside your comfort zone.

However, here’s the truth: in any close relationship—whether with a friend, family member, or spouse—differences eventually show up.

It could be that one...

We have all experienced moments when we wanted more than anything to “keep up with the Joneses.” This comparison trap is nothing new—our parents dealt with it, their parents dealt with it, and so on and so forth.

The only difference? Fifty years ago, the “Joneses” were just the folks down the street. Now, social media lets us keep tabs on hundreds of Joneses from all over the world—morning, noon, and night.

This kind of exposure to the lives of others can allow a constant yearning for what we don’t have to fester in our...

Unexpected news, traumatic events, and unfortunate but common stressors in life—such as a fender bender or learning that you’ve lost your job—can hit us in unexpected ways. While we may not be able to verbalize exactly how we feel in the moment, having a family member, spouse, or close friend be there for us during a hard season can make all the difference in the world.

That’s what we are talking about in this episode—the power of being there for someone else. We’ve experienced this many times in our own lives as we’ve fac...

For today’s conversation, we are talking very openly about the physical relationship within marriage. (If you have little ears around, consider listening on headphones or waiting until you are alone.)

Many marriage resources presume that the husband has a higher sex drive, but in about 25% of marriages, it’s actually the wife who experiences more feelings of desire.

When women have the higher level of desire for sex and intimacy, they can often experience feelings of rejection when their spouse doesn’t reciprocate. They may even wonder what’s wrong with the...

This is a special episode with just me (Jill)! For this one, I’m opening up about a topic that is very close to my heart. I wanted to share it this time of year because the end of August is when school starts back up, and as such, many groups such as Bible studies, moms’ groups, and more, are all kicking off. 

Through my years of parenting, I’ve found that it can be challenging to integrate into a new group. Meeting new people, finding those who will be closer friends, and discovering your place in the col...

Our words have the power to encourage and inspire others. They also have the power to put down, shame, and discourage. In this conversation, we are looking at the power of our words. Joining me for this discussion is someone who has personal experience with the impact our words can have in relationships—especially within marriage.

Ann Wilson spent more than a decade longing for a better marriage. Every chance she got, Ann told her husband how much she wished he were more attentive, more helpful, and just all around better. While she thought she was being he...

“What does it mean to hold space for someone?”

A listener recently sent us this question—and it’s such a good one.

Simply put, holding space means being emotionally and physically present with someone’s feelings—without judging, making it about you, trying to fix it, or getting defensive.

The beauty of this practice is that it works in almost any relationship. You can hold space for your spouse, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers—you name it!

We don’t know about you, but we’ve noticed the phrase “holding space” showing up everywhere...

We all know marriage isn’t easy. Bringing together two people with different life experiences, opinions, and family backgrounds takes a whole lot of intentionality, grace, and growth.

When neurological differences enter this complex equation, you need an additional set of tools in order to maintain a healthy marriage.

My guest, Shawna Meek, is here to help us understand what it can look like to navigate neurological differences within a marriage relationship. She has been through three separations with her husband, infidelity, and his late diagnosis as an adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is a...

We live in a world full of distractions. Technology is always with us, pulling our focus away from the present with notifications that ping at all hours of the day and night. On top of that, many of us deal with internal distractions like insecurity, the desire for perfection, or the stress of trying to do it all. 

These distractions can often crowd out the still, small voice of God—if we let them. My friend, Peg Arnold, understands the struggle of grappling with distractions well. She is an author, speaker, and teacher whose passion is to enc...

We are excited to have another listener-submitted question to discuss! This question really hit home with us because it resonated with obstacles we’ve recently overcome in our own lives. It reminded us of the powerful emotional growth and healing that can be achieved in a marriage.

The question was: “Is the woman in the marriage relationship the one who does most of the heavy lifting as far as promoting emotional growth toward each other?”

You know, we find that 75% of the time, it is the woman who is pursuing and initiating things that will promot...

Life can be full of uncertainty. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, or walking through a difficult time, we don’t always know how things will work out in the end. When that happens, we can feel frozen by fear and unsure of what our next step should be.

Thankfully, my friend Katie Reid knows what it’s like to face uncertainty and has some helpful encouragement for us. Katie is a Bible teacher, author, podcaster, pastor’s wife, worship leader, and mom. She recently released her latest book, God, What Do I Do...

We’re back for another special conversation, this time about the topic of accountability. When most people think of accountability, they imagine someone asking them tough questions—almost like it’s a police interrogation and they’re in the hot seat. The problem with that mindset is, if the other person doesn’t ask us the “right” questions, then we think we’re off the hook. We don’t have to offer up anything we don’t want to share.

That’s how we viewed accountability before walking through our marriage crisis. But once trust was broken, we realized we needed...

Whether you are experiencing a prolonged period of stress or just having a bad day, everyone experiences times of emotional strain. Our jobs can often overwhelm us with pressure-filled deadlines. Our family budget may be tight, which causes us to worry about making ends meet. Sometimes, our family relationships are tense and filled with conflict—whether that be with our spouse or extended family.

There are so many things in life that can be the source of our stress. Although stress may be unavoidable, I want you to know that we don’t have to get stuck in a...