It's All My Fault

40 Episodes


So... how goes it? Ok. Ok. Okay...! Yeah I get it, definitely a stupid question. At least on the current Earth v.867-5309 updated timeline I'm now simulating... ... .... {...buffering...} ... with all you other (mostly) NPCs. However, whether ye be an old celestial soul rhythmically tapping into our source's infinite wisdom, or an intrigued interloper invasively incarnating interested in investigating internal incisions... Inciting inner fears??? or, an ancient all-knowing arch-angel of legend/myth/lore (fallen or ascending... we're not here to exclude), or an ancestor of the Annunaki, or a Lemurian light-being, or a Pleiadean starseed, a silver surfer on acid...

So that's really why I quit my job.
Yesterday at 5:33 PM

I took waaaay too long posting a new recording after my mushroom trip debacle. Way.Too.Long.Apologies to anyone who might have accidentally endured that shameful statement of "should this guy even dabble in drugs? Let alone use them all the time?" Cest la vie e Frances? I attempt to create more listenable content here by appealing to my more tangible self and fall off cliff esoterica in the process. Ahhh... so red, white and blue french fried of me...e Fances?iKudB.RiteEpisode 36 of 53

Here it is, me on mushrooms watching 300. Enjoy!
Last Monday at 3:05 PM

I think celebrating one's 300th episode is a human thing, with our 10 fingers and toes routine... But life is what it is... So celebrate I do. Want to see what mushrooms do to me? Well then proceed indeed...

Until our paths cross again. Kindly, Me

So here we are. Ugh.That place I never thought we'd be... Episode 299. (... and if we're being honest, you never thought we'd end up here either).Which means the next episode is a centurion episode. And, given our bodily arrangement of ten fingers alongside ten toes, those centurion episodes feel magical. Delusional, I know. Especially with all those red headed giants that used to run around with 24 fingers and toes. But I didn't get on here to talk about that...You know what doesn't feel magical? The number 299. Nope. That number feels more like: The clearance rack at your local...

Even gods want to know what that's like.

I think it's appropriate to forewarn you that I chatter about god(s) a bit in this one. As a former atheist, that alone might have moved me right along. If that's how you are, fear not - it's not that kind of god chatter, it's the other kind, the good kind.Myself, being somewhere between an atheist and an aardvark with regards to my spirituality could lead some to believe I wander into these waters recklessly... Well DUH! My life's a pile of reckless? Are you f'n kidding me here? Point made? I hope...?I am always in these...

You still got some figuring out to do.

"In so many ways, if I'm going to have a good day, it's dependent on me deciding to have a good day." Okay. Maybe I'm not as big a fan of the snagaquote intro as I thought I was. There is better stuff in this recording than that quote might lead you to believe. I promise you. Boy. There I go making another promise I cannot possibly keep. What is with me today?There's likely some stuff that's that bad to endure or even worse, unlistenable... I'm just being real here, amirite? Probably. Let's leave this one at... probably. Think...

No. Wallow I won't.

"I do not count the mushrooms because the mushrooms never kicked in. Which they weren't supposed to. Honestly I was eating them to get rid of them.Um... I know that's dumb."You think that's dumb well I've got 21 minutes and then some of stupidity to offer you that'll make that part look like rocket surgery!I gotta admit, kinda liking the new snagaquote intro... Snag-a-quote?iKudB.Rite

Episode 31 of 53

And I certainly haven't given up on myself.

Ahem."And no, I don't think there is some trinity of existence to which we're all beholden..." Apparently I say that and a whole lot more in this one... not sure what to say one way or another past that. Maybe you'll know what to say next.iKudB.RiteEpisode 30 of 53

Exactly what we deserve.

I have to admit, I get a little preachy in this one. And yes, that says preachy and not peachy... so... do as you will. Meaning be cautious here. My mood is quite, um, unique.iKudB.RiteEpisode 29 0f 53

It may be your dream state that brings you back.

Talk about your flippy floppy... this recording is so bipolar I hesitate to post it. I mean how much more evidence of my insanity is the world ready to accommodate?


Episode 28 of 53

I'm going to find you.

Tired of all the lies?

Me too.

Mi 2.


Now what are we going to do about it?


Episode 27 of 53

Nobody should be listening to me for an hour.

Enthusiasm could be this podcast's middle name.

If their last name was Isfree.

And their first name was Allincluded.


Episode 26 of 53

I really do love you all.

Once again I try and sort out wtf I'm doing here. But this time, and perhaps this time only, I feel like I might be on to some of the answers...

As if!!!


Episode 25 of 53

Hard to say, hard...

I was able to sneak one more recording in before February gave way to March.

That makes a grand total of two now.

Two for the month.

The worst part is that even with that minimalist approach to recordings, number two didn't even post in February... honestly wtf was I doing...???

Well maybe this one has something to say on that topic. I wouldn't count on it, but you never know.


Epu.isode 24 of 53

It's time for me to save something.

It's still February right?

I would hate to think I've let this thing get all the way through a month with zero activity. So to the eleventh hour we go, quite literally.

I get that I stall out some times. It can happen.

As such, I can live with the appropriate descriptions, of which many options, accurate options, are available including:












It'll find me in a pair of Stegmanns.

Reputation management pops into my brain, AGAIN, early in this one. Hopefully for the last time.

I also get it on with:

My favorite gum

Shoes that almost fit

Aging gracefully

Being there for someone

Something I'm forgetting

Another thing I can't remember

Hold on a second... um...

Checking that list for errors, the gum discussion was in my previous recording.

I think.

I know that I recently talked about whether a fork you've used should be...

OMG it's 33:33!

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. And I'm apologizing.

I'm a donkey with these recordings whenever I reference runtimes. I agree. I wish I could say "I'll try and do better" - but let's face it, we're a long long long way away from seeing progress on this issue.

In fact, this recording might be my worst example yet.

There are all kinds of timing issue fails throughout this one.

Mostly because I forgot I'd already 420'd when my 3333 shown brightly leaving a regret filled need for additional meddling, which is never...

Where'd Sophia go now?

I know both my nanas come up in this one, but primarily because when they died, I skipped their funerals.

It's not very Hallmarky right from the start.

I then go on to ponder whether the "wanna help people" mood currently dominating my earth.v867-5309 lifetime is really so I can interact with people having instantly unguarded moments, caught as it were, in an unexpected spot to have a real conversation. Huh...huh... whaddya think? Not bad eh?

That's got me thought drifting even now so I'll certainly be coming back around...

Yeah we can.

Admittedly, I'm always saying that there has to be something better you could be doing in your life, something y'know - actually engaging - rather than listening to me and my rerouted mental wanderings.

But, when those wanderings happen to wander into another journeyman engaging in their own human experience... those conversations specifically - those like this one right here - I'm going to say are probably worth your time.

At least I found the dialogue shared between myself and Christian to be as thought provoking in real time as it remains to me now. <...

I am pretty full of myself these days.

I think this time, this exact time right here - unlike every other attempt prior to this one - this time, for this recording here, the title nails it.

Fortunately, for those unfortunate enough to be here reading this, the universe has noticed my hubris and re-planned accordingly.

As should you btw.


Episode 18 of 53

... alright two. At least two.

I have taken 48 hours to try and compose myself enough to describe the profound nature of what I experienced last Saturday night.

As this recording will attest, I should have taken longer.

Much longer.

But hey, at least I kept this stumble bumble to a mere 15 minutes.

You know me, always looking out for the listener and their precious time so as not to waste it... in fact, why are you listening? Right.

You don't even know.


Episode 17 of 53

... oh wow. Whoa. Pause.

To say this one's been a chore to complete is barely doing it the justice it deserves. After all, how many other recordings include a 50 hour halftime break that leads to surly John chastising both the cat and the dog??!?!?




Episode 16 of 53

She's the only one.

Living a purposeful life is the primary theme in this one, so it has that going for it.

That said, everything from dog pudding piles to my own shortcomings to a failing pause button come up repeatedly...

so maybe it's not as purposeful as I'm claiming through and through...

and I did cut myself short to keep it close to an hour.

That means I ramble on a bit more than I wanted to...

which makes it hard to say why I've now listened to this one 3 times, but...

... until I can annoy the entire universe with my thoughts. Yeah.

This episode, let's call it a Roger Maris edition, is a lot like that record itself. His 61 homerun trots are the counterpoint to the 1990s.

That insanity with Bonds, Sosa, McGwire et. al (the excitement of which I admit to being a captivated audience member) was so predictable looking back now.

They couldn't help themselves... much like myself I suppose.

Maris represented the measured stability of an era that, if it ever existed, certainly had no bearing in the Clinton years and has lost additional influence all the way to today.


A better world means all of us do better. Me included.



Hold on a second there... seriously.

Let's make sure you know what you're getting into before you go too far here.

Two chance interruptions pile their disruptions on top of the usual amount of "wate.wut...?" I bring to each of these...

How's that grab you for a tempting description? Didn't feel a thing you say?

If I also tell you this recording contains my first attempts to process both of the 2023 scenes that had me, for the first and second time in life, place...

Now get on your side of the tent.


How did this recording even get staffed let alone funded?

Does nobody, me included apparently, give a damn that I'm spent over here??!?!?!? I've showered and masturbated and somehow I'm still awake. My dog is snoring loudly as if to rub it in my face (the snoring not the masturbation).

I should be out like the Jags by now.

Simple truth statement forthcoming:

I should be asleep.

And it's something I've been KKKKKKKRAVING since yesterday.

Yet here I am looking at a screeen!!!! Enough...

...maybe for the first time ever. But yeah.

This one sure is an eclectic mix of equine manure. Or should I say "I presume it is?"

I haven't re-listened to it or anything to deem it as such, so iKudB.Rong.

However, the smart money is all landing on the "iKudB.Rite" side here - jus' sayin'.

I suppose being fully aware that my head is, atm, filled with horses taking dumps across an overturned, ragged landscape.

only managing to make a messy soup of the entire situation.

So with that going for me (going against?)... how...

Maybe. Maybe. Probably not.

Blackouts and the devolution of our more advanced technical knowledge base have the main stages...

But insecurities and cannabis say hello as well.

I say that as if they ever leave the room... ha!



Point made?


Episode 10 of 53

Tranquility. Elevation. Simplicity. Calm. Yes.

Sensing the presence of another sent me on a chase yesterday. A bit of a wild goose chase, yes... but more of a "well let's see how this can blow up in our faces" chase that ended with a 75 minute walk home after midnight.

So, just another typical day in f'n paradise.


Episode 9 of 53

If I know Lilly, they've got her in the bam-bam suit.

Okay, here's the deal:

In this recording I review episodes 8-12 in season one of "It's All My Fault": Wate.Wut?

In so doing, I believe I bring value that only YoY analysis helps reveal.

But I'm high af so you might just skip over this redux and wait for the altered states episode later this week.



Episode 8 of 53

Hi-ho hi-ho it's off to work I go.

Looking back AGAIN here...


... but oh my oh my do we all have a lot to get through this time. Seriously.

Go get your root beer float flavored bottle of milk and join me by the space heater as we break down a little FU man episode from approximately 365 days ago.

So yeah, this one might take a while.


Episode 7 of 53

My intuition and I are in lock step. I hope yours is too.

Well, lock step may be close to 1% hyperbole since this isn't a 3-legged race, I cannot be without a hint of doubt.

In fact, I can only speak to the synchronicity with which my intuition and I seem to be running every race these days.

So long as a race can be run without falling on all the ice that's out there. In the regard, the outlook remains cloudy.


Episode 6 of 53

I want to see a better universe for all of us.

It takes me a while to get into form here because I'm still in post-mushroom-glow mode.

But I eventually get myself on track and make some point or another that fills a gap previously left untended.

Or do I???


Episode 5 of 53

You know me. I can't help myself.

A look back to e0003 happens herein .

As does a bunch of stuff in batch-stitch form - most of which I have no idea what I even talked about.

Note to self:

This is what happens when 24hours+ does a recording take to complete.

I'm also a dumbass of significant proportion in this one.

I know James can handle it.

The question is can you?


Episode 4 of 53

...cuz here it is on my bedside table.

I said I'd be reviewing episodes one and two from last years debut of "It's All My Fault" in the previous episode... which means here in this episode I finally square that circle... as it were.


Here's 30 minutes of "how's life going 365 days after my other self said some stuff" to listen to... so you got that going for you.



Episode 3 of 53

And for once this isn't about weed.

In this episode, I take a look back to my very first recording (at this time last year) and at how much I've changed, just since then.

There's a bunch of other stuff in there too so looking forward and backward with me in a journey of self-assessment is a very fair synopsis of what's contained herein.

Like pretty much all media at this time.

January 3rd in the year of Blue Dream.


Episode 2 of 53

I kind of feel sorry for you. But I do love you.

It's a whole new year here at It's All My Fault and we're celebrating by opening Season Six - iKudB.Rite - with a whimper. I only say that because it looks like I end up feeling sorry for you by the time it's all said and done.

I certainly don't remember taking pity on you or thinking somehow that you're pathetic.

What might it be that has me feeling sorry for you, what might it be...

Oy vey.

My stress level is so minimal given the lackluster nature of my...

Now bring out the Kracken!

Ending the first calendar year of It's All My Fault is a little bittersweet here...

So lots of tears and regrets.


Or might I be wrong about EVEN this???


Episode 53 of 53

Maybe a little bit of me thinks I do deserve that one.

Getting in one more recording just before the "wind it up" theme song crescendos on this year we all [sort of] agree is 2022.

Well come on down 2023.

You're the next misnomer on This Slice of Life!


Episode 52 of 53

Things are only looking up [fmmffm]...

Cut myself off early did I at the end of this one?



Perhaps that's where my missing Happy Birthday Wishes to Brisa resided?




But no more than a word or 33 of that shit got lost... Happy Birthday Officially Brisa!

And, really, who even cares about any of that "how am I going to finish this one malarky" because...

It's that time of year when there's no more time of year left to celebrate!!<...

I mean, it's the last question. We could just end it too.

Here in the 50th installment of iKudB.Rong I find myself in the ironic position of knowing iKudNotB.Rong.

Not about this! Irony yes. This no.

Bringing in a co-host to work through the wonderful world of animals was a better Friday than the Friday I'd already thought it was going to be.

Which means it was an even awesomer Friday than the awesome Friday I'd envisioned.

If this were what all Fridays were like, I'd never need another Saturday Night Fever again for the rest of my life. Though disco...