The Way You Show Up

Everybody wants the hack.

The pill. The shortcut. The version of success that happens while you sleep.

I get it. I've wanted it too.

But after years of researching motivation, self-esteem, and what it actually takes to reach a goal, here's the truth most people don't want to hear.

There is no hack.

The one thing every successful person has in common isn't talent or luck or some secret system. It's that they run toward the hard thing instead of away from it.

In this video I...

I felt cut open and exposed.

Not metaphorically. Like I had poured out every single thing I had and was just lying there, waiting on God to move.

The last two years have been some of the hardest of my life. My dad's cancer. Financial stress. A lot of change all at once. I got to the end of my rope and thought, God, I've given everything I know how to give. Now what?

Then I opened up Genesis 15.

If you've studied this chapter, you know it's where God makes a...

Someone lied about me.

Not a small lie. The kind that twists your words, takes them out of context, and drags your name through the mud in front of an audience.

And I'll be honest with you. It made me angry.

I wanted to write the email. I wanted the last word. I wanted everyone to hear my side of the story.

If you've ever been gossiped about, lied about, or watched someone tell a version of you that simply wasn't true, you know exactly what that feels like.

...

Most marriage advice is recycled fluff.

This is not that.

I sat down with Dr. John Gottman, the man who has spent 40+ years studying what actually makes marriages work and what destroys them.

Not opinions. Not theories. Exposed-to-thousands-of-couples-in-a-research-lab findings.

And what he told me?

Some of it will surprise you.

The couples who last, the "masters," aren't the ones who avoid conflict. They're the ones who lean into it without getting defensive. They stay curious instead of critical. They treat their spouse's complaints like information, not attacks.<...

Take the free Show Up Assessment: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com/pies-assessment

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He who works the most wins.

At least, that's what I believed.

I grew a company from negative $500K to $4.5 million in revenue.

On paper? Success.
In reality? I was completely falling apart.

I lost my passion.
I lost my mind. Literally forgot how to open my own trunk.
I lost my will.

And I didn't even see it coming.

In this video, I'm sharing what burnout actually looked...

I have a PhD in performance psychology.

I know, with absolute certainty, that the morning sets the tone for the entire day.

And I have been fundamentally screwing mine up.

Checking Slack before my feet hit the floor.

Scrolling Instagram before I'd said a word to God.

Trying to ramp from stillness straight into a 4-mile run with zero transition.

By 9am I'd feel that weight settle on my chest. Anxious. Irritable. Behind.

Two hours into a day I'd started peaceful and hopeful.

...

Take the free assessment → https://kimberlybeamholmes.com/pies-assessment

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You've said it once.
You've said it twice.
You've said it fifteen times over four months.

And somehow, nothing changes.

You're not crazy.
You're just not being heard.

I lived this recently. I told a coworker in January that we needed to cut a software that wasn't working. He agreed. Or so I thought. Fast forward to April and we're still having the same conversation.

January. That's when we decided. January.

In this vi...

Katie Simkins didn't grow up knowing Jesus.

She didn't grow up in church. She didn't grow up with hope.

At 16, doctors found 11 precancerous growths in her body. A group of strangers prayed over her. The scans came back completely clear, not even scarring.

Weeks later, her brother unexpectedly passed away.

And what followed was a year she calls "the year of darkness."

Walking in physical darkness. Carrying grief, guilt, and the weight of a question she couldn't answer... why would God heal me and then take him?

...

How can you own the room and speak with confidence?

Nobody cares if your palms are sweaty. Nobody cares if your voice shakes. Nobody cares if you're secretly terrified.

They care if you command the space you're in.

In this episode, I sit down with Eva Daniel, former speech writer at Ramsey Solutions, 11 years at Focus on the Family, now a speech coach to leaders, to break down what it actually takes to own a room.

Stage. Zoom. Boardroom. Bible study. Tuesday team meeting.

Ground your feet. Take the...

Talking to people who disagree with me politically has gotten hard.

Like, really hard.

Sometimes I feel like the world is going crazy and I don't know how to have a normal conversation anymore.

So I brought in one of the smartest people I know, Dr. Rubel Shelly, to help me figure it out.

He has his Master's and PhD from Vanderbilt. He's been a preacher for decades. And his view on how Christians should engage with politics is refreshing, clarifying, and honestly? A little challenging.

In this episode...

AI isn't intelligent.

It's a calculator that learned how to talk.

And we're treating it like a therapist, a best friend, a dating coach, even a parent.

In this episode, I sit down with Jared Pratt, our resident AI expert at Marriage Helper, and he breaks down what AI actually is and what it absolutely is not.
No real understanding.
No real empathy.
No real wisdom.
Just math predicting the next word.

People are building entire relationships with chatbots. They're outsourcing responses to their scared 10-year-old. They're...

You keep going back to what's comfortable.
And it keeps producing nothing.

That's exactly what Peter did.

In this video, I'm studying John 21 with you and breaking down why Peter, after witnessing the resurrection, went right back to fishing.

Back to the old habits.
Back to what felt safe.
Back to what produced nothing without Jesus.

Sound familiar?

I've been there. Running on the hamster wheel. Doing the things that feel normal instead of the things God is actually calling me to do.

But...

Did Jesus Really Raise From The Dead?

If Jesus didn't raise from the dead, then nothing else in the Bible really matters. That's not just my opinion. That's what the Bible says about itself. So can we actually trust that the resurrection happened? That's the question I've been wanting to explore for years.

In this episode, I sit down with one of my pastors, Cory Shumate, to walk through the logical case for the resurrection. Cory breaks it down in a way that doesn't require you to be a biblical scholar. We look...

Ever feel like you've become the unofficial therapist in your friend group? You're not alone, and I've been there too. Most of us make one critical mistake when someone comes to us with a problem: we try to fix it.

In this episode, I sit down with licensed professional counselor Meredith Ball (LPC) to talk about how to actually support the people in your life without overstepping, shutting them down, or burning yourself out. Meredith helped me see some things about my own listening habits that I honestly needed to hear, especially how growing up in a...

This conversation is one I've been so excited to share with y'all.

I sat down with my friend Emily Allen, and she boldly shared her story of struggling with an eating disorder that started all the way back in middle school. What began as trying to manage health issues turned into years of mental bondage around food, body image, and an identity that was built on appearance. Emily is honest about all of it, and I think so many of us can relate more than we realize.

But here's what I love most. Emily shares...

You know that thing you keep saying you're going to do? The conversation you keep avoiding. The vision you have for your life that you keep putting on hold because everyone else needs something from you first.

You might think it's balance... but it's not. It's fear.

In this episode, I sit down with Micheal Felker and we get into what actually keeps people stuck, and it's not what most people think. We talk about the difference between acute and chronic anxiety, why anxiety is contagious (and I tell a story from Kenya that proves...

Today we are tackling something that we all have to deal with, but very few of us actually know how to do well: feedback.

In this episode, I am honored to be joined by leadership coach, speaker, and author Dr. J.R. Briggs. We are diving deep into the art of giving and receiving feedback, figuring out which of the two is actually more important (spoiler alert: it’s receiving!), and uncovering why feedback often feels so personal and scary.

J.R. shares an incredible story about trapeze school that perfectly illustrates why we need ou...

I'm back, y'all and SO much has happened since the last time we talked. In this episode, I'm sharing the updated science of attraction and influence and breaking down the PIES method: the four pillars that change the way you show up in every area of your life.

PIES stands for Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual, and each pillar has four specific inputs that you can control. These aren't about looking a certain way or performing for other people. They're about building the kind of embodied confidence that people notice when you walk into a room.
...

A year ago, I stopped. 

I stopped doing one of the things I loved the most. 

I stopped because I was overwhelmed. 
I stopped because I was chronically burnt out. 
I stopped because I started doubting my purpose. 

It felt like a wise and mature decision at the time. 
Maybe it was 

But what I slowly began to realize was that I stopped doing the thing that, when it came to my work, was one of the most life-giving. 

Now, it's back. 

But better. 

F...

Meredith Ball, a licensed professional counselor dedicated to healing trauma, joins us to unravel the intricate web of trauma's impact on our lives. In this episode, Meredith opens up about her own journey and sheds light on how trauma affects the brain, the underestimated power of neuroplasticity, and the generational gaps in acknowledging these wounds.

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
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Want to unlock your potential? Discover how to study smarter and retain more information with expert insights from Dr. Dan Willingham! Tune in now and transform your learning experience!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to...

Is there actually a difference in the way men and women process emotions? Find out on today’s episode!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and...

Feeling unattractive? You're not alone! Discover 10 uplifting strategies to reclaim your self-worth and feel fabulous again! Tune in to our latest episode and transform your outlook! What's your go-to feel-good strategy?

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build...

Discover the 5 step method we use to improve communication. Not only does this help with communication between us as spouses, but it can also be used in conversations with friends, family, coworkers, and everyone in between!

Let’s dive in to this week’s episode!

Links to SMART Communication Episode:
Episode 1
Episode 2

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God...

Understanding how to set meaningful goals can transform your self-esteem and overall happiness. This episode emphasizes the importance of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, exploring self-concordant goals that resonate with individual desires over societal expectations.

• Discussing personal motivations behind goals 
• Highlighting the concept of self-concordance 
• Distinguishing between intrinsic and extrinsic motivations 
• Introducing the PIES framework for holistic goal-setting 
• Importance of setting achievable and stretch goals 
• Exploring the need for self-compassion in goal pursuit 
• Opening the door for future personal growth and achievement

Let’s dive in!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Bea...

In this episode, we're diving deep into the truth about weight loss and fat loss, and sharing some of the most important lessons we've learned on our journey. We're going to be talking about our experiences with different diets, including whole 30, and how we've discovered the key to making sustainable changes that actually work.

We'll also be sharing our personal journey and the changes that we've made to improve our overall health and fitness. Plus, we'll give some tips on how to stay consistent with your goals and not get discouraged when the scale doesn't...

One of my favorite weeks of the year every year is the week between Christmas and New Years. I sit down and reflect on the last year and plan out my goals and dreams for the new year.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through how to set attainable goals. Let’s go into the new year striving to be the best versions of ourselves… Let’s dive in!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relation...

Experiencing the highs and lows of marriage led me to a profound realization: attraction isn't just about the physical—it's a holistic process encompassing the Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual aspects. Last week I was able to share with our Marriage Helper audience the PIES framework, designed to rejuvenate marital bonds by focusing on self-improvement. Through personal stories, I illustrate how embracing this multi-faceted approach can reignite passion and enhance well-being, helping you tackle insecurities and societal pressures surrounding attraction.

Expect to uncover the hidden layers of intellectual and emotional attraction that keep relationships thriving. Drawing from pe...

What if the digital world was costing us more than we realized? In this episode, we sit down with Chris Martin, an insightful author who has navigated the depths of social media’s real costs. Chris shares his journey of writing a thought-provoking book during the pandemic, drawing from his rich experiences in social media roles at Lifeway and Moody Publishers. Together, we explore how his upbringing in a tech-savvy household shaped his perspectives, and what compelled him to question the societal impact of social media so deeply.

Our conversation takes a fascinating turn as we ponder ho...

This episode was recorded in 2022.

Kimberly is joined by a very special guest, her husband, Rob! This was the second time Rob joined the podcast so if you missed the first episode, make sure you go back and listen to the episode about Introverts vs. Extroverts.

In this episode, they both discuss what intellectually attracted them to each other when they first met. You will hear Rob and Kimberly answer questions from the listeners about working on intellectual attraction with your spouse when you have no interest in the same hobbies or likes.

...

Discover the hidden costs of our digital age as I sit down with Zach Rausch, the lead researcher behind "The Anxious Generation." Zach opens up about his personal journey with mental health challenges and how it fueled his passion to explore the complex relationship between technology and well-being. This episode peels back the layers on the disturbing rise in loneliness, anxiety, and depression among young people, especially adolescent girls, as they grapple with the very tools meant to connect them. We tackle the sobering reality of international trends affecting mental health and stress the urgency of addressing these issues...

In this episode we talk with Dr. Rex Jung about the differences in creativity and intelligence and how you can work your brain to be more creative!

Discover how engaging in creative activities might be the key to alleviating stress and enhancing personal growth. We explore the stages of creative cognition, demonstrating how a playful mind state can lead to innovation and a sense of flow. We'll discuss the empowering impact of creativity on mental health, relationships, and personal development. From spontaneous moments of inspiration while jogging to the communal joys of dance, these experiences not only...

Discover the power of mindset transformation in this inspiring interview with Dr. Josh Axe. After facing a life-altering health crisis, Dr. Axe shares how changing his mindset played a critical role in his recovery and personal growth. From practical strategies like the A, B, C, D, E method for overcoming limiting beliefs to the importance of faith, hope, and gratitude, this conversation is packed with actionable insights to help you transform your life.

Learn how your thoughts impact your health, relationships, and overall well-being, and why spiritual and emotional health are just...

Plenty of research talks about how a parent's interaction with their child will affect that child's future. It's called attachment theory, which boils down to the consistency and the quality of a parent's interaction with their child. The research shows there are four primary outcomes in attachment theory, but the only positive one is secure attachment. Secure attachment means that the child will believe that mom and dad will always be there when they need them.

There are seven characteristics of strong families, the most important being quantity of time, not quality. The question is, what is...

What if you could unlock the secrets to reading scholarly research articles as easily as a captivating novel? This episode promises just that, equipping you with the skills to discern credible academic work from unreliable sources. Discover how to utilize tools like Google Scholar to access the wealth of knowledge hidden within peer-reviewed studies without spending a dime. We break down the anatomy of research articles, shedding light on how to efficiently navigate sections like the abstract, methods, and results, ensuring you're armed with the critical thinking necessary to interpret scientific evidence accurately.

Embark on a journey...

This episode was recorded in 2022

What happens when a teenage mother becomes a Christian influencer, inspiring women worldwide? Join us for a compelling conversation with Yasmine Williams-Woods as she shares her remarkable journey from becoming a mother at 14 in a small Alabama town to becoming a beacon of hope through faith and biblical truths. Yasmine's story is a testament to the power of resilience and unwavering love, as she opens up about her upbringing by her single mother and her unexpected path into the digital world. Her experiences illuminate the challenges of balancing faith with marriage and...

Could the secret to a thriving marriage lie in the simple act of intentionally spending time together? Join me and my husband, Rob, as we recount our own experiences of navigating the demanding world of military life while keeping our relationship a top priority. We share candid stories and insights, emphasizing the importance of consciously setting aside time for each other amidst the chaos of family and work commitments. Discover how neglecting these moments can lead to a loss of intimacy and even jeopardize family dynamics, offering a cautionary tale to those who may be caught up in the...

Discover how much protein you truly need for optimal health and why animal protein is often heralded as the go-to source for essential amino acids. We'll tackle the everyday obstacles of meeting protein requirements, particularly when dining out, and share a compelling study that pits high-protein snacks against their high-fat counterparts in the battle of satiety.

Ready to transform your body composition and boost your weight loss efforts? You'll find the answers in our exploration of protein's powerful impact on fat loss and muscle development. We dissect fascinating research that highlights the benefits of a protein-rich diet...

Ever wondered why some relationships thrive in emotional closeness while others struggle to maintain even a semblance of connection? Discover the intricate dynamics of the "Triangulation of Love," where intimacy, passion, and commitment play pivotal roles. Through personal stories, we'll unravel the complexities of intimacy and how disparities between partners can lead to misunderstandings and long-term impacts, especially when one feels criticized or rejected early on. We tackle how these differences manifest across various relationships—be it romantic, familial, or platonic—and explore the underlying reasons for these gaps.

Join us for practical advice and heartfelt anecdotes aime...

Have you ever felt superior to your partner or viewed them through a critical lens because of their struggles? This episode could reshape your perspective. Today, I'm joined by my wonderful husband, Rob! We begin by unpacking the profound importance of true acceptance in marriages, sharing a poignant story of a friend's failing marriage to illustrate the corrosive effects of seeing a partner as "sick" or lesser. Through this narrative, we emphasize the necessity of meeting your spouse where they are and fostering a relationship built on equality and mutual respect.

Next, we delve into the insidious...