The C.S. Café

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In this episode we're discussing how the 1970s Blaxploitation era redefined the art of dating. It passed down the notion that dating is mere transactional and that if a man spends money on a date then he is owed a woman's body. Well, that doesn't get us to a lasting relationship with that mindset now does it? We have to return that notion back to the 70s on BOTH ENDS. Dating is just that "to go on a date". It is neither transactional or sexual. How the hell are...

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How many many women wished they could have dated young under parental supervision? In this episode, we discuss raising teenagers especially young women. We tend to have a long leash on our young men but yet a shock collar on our young women. We expect them to choose wisely when they become adults but their emotional state haven't even been developed yet. All the things they could have went through as a teenager and would have been taught through they are now learning in their twenties either in college...

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In this episode we get into emotional regulation. What sets a person off? How did you learn to self deescalate a situation? Everyone isn't raised with the tools to do so early hence why we have prisons and diversion centers filled. We all know that even the best of us weren't taught how to regulate our emotions but by adulthood it shouldn't just be "who we are" but something we're willing to change. Silent treatment, "going postal", and even excessive venting are all negative traits learned by someone who...

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Pt 7/7. In this episode we get into the hard part of relationships. The ending. When does does us part. How do you move on when you have more love to give? The anger you feel about the other dying without you? The pain you feel about losing the other? The guilt you feel about wasting time. It's all part of grief and as soon as we start to let that part go then we can begin to live again. Well I don't want to ruin it for you. Tune...

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Pt 6/7. In this episode we shed a light on empty nesters. What happens between a couple when the kids have recently left the nest? How do you refocus on each other when you don't have to set an example for someone watching you? Learning to date each other or just date when there's no excuse to fall back on can be challenging but it's a good challenge. Don't let this era be an alarm that you don't know each other. Get to know who you are in the present...

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Pt 5/7. In this episode, we focus on connective intimacy. In a relationship we get so bogged down with work, chores, kids, that we forget or just plain out don't want to connect with each other. Whether it be just touch, a massage, a back rub, or sexual intimacy all of it is needed to recharge the other. I get it a relationship is not all about sex but if it stops prematurely and not collaboratively then it leads to treacherous territories. Sit back, grab a glass or two, and...

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Pt 4/7. In this episode, we talk about rekindling passion between lovers. A lot of us have passion within us but pouring into one another is where we trip up time and time again. We become too focused on "hooking up" than igniting that passion between us. Passion and seduction starts outside of the bedroom. You just have to observe it to find it. Tune in now!

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Pt 3/7. In this episode, we come to a halt as most relationships do. For whatever reason, your relationship is at a stalemate. Arguments become frequently. One or both feel like they aren't being heard. When one or both try to end it but struggle to. Where do you go from here? Ask yourself is this worth fighting for? Block out the noise and the observation of other's relationships and focus on what centers you both. If you're looking for longevity, why? Don't base it off of parents or grandparents...

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Pt 2/7. In this episode we delve into that part of love where you're always on each other's mind. Whether it be love, lust, or concern, that someone is revolving around your center. We love that for you. Thinking without making the thought an obsession is healthy for you. Go ahead now! Paint a picture of your significant other mentally and hold the essence for a day. Nothing negative. Nothing sad. Pull out a good memory and fawn over it. Let's go over and Tune in now.

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Pt 1/7. In this episode we start our "Love Through Stages" series. Let's take it all back to the beginning of your relationship. First dates till the making it "official" stage. How were you when it was time to get ready? Were you the one who had everything laid out or just picked out something the day of? Do you remember how the first conversation went? What did the day look like as it progressed? I'm not going to hold you. Tune in now!

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Pt 4/4. In this episode, we talk about the back and forth reconnections of a child with a parent battling addition. It's not our job to save them but we often grow up wanting to. Wanting to know if we're worth more than those few minutes of high. The constant reconnection can be draining. The end game isn't always a happy ending. Just know that you are not your parents. It's ok to want to be their savior but know that the only one who can save them is them...

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Pt 3. n this episode, we take you on a journey of reconnecting with parents after divorce. Sometimes the missing parent always says, "You'll know when you get older" like there's more to the story than what you physically see. The parent raising you really don't have to fill your head with anything negative about the other. The actions of the absent parent will always show their truth every time. Let's get into it then. Tune in now!

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Pt 2. In this episode, we take you on a journey of reconnecting after lockup. Many children have trouble reconnecting after a parent has been released from the penitentiary. It's gets harder reconnecting after your whole childhood has been missed. Where do you begin? Do you even try? Let's get into it. Tune in now!

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Pt 1. In this episode, we start a news series of parental alienation. This episode goes out to all of those who have been adopted and tried to reconnect with your biological parents but it didn't go as you thought it would in your head. Tune in now. 

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Pt 3/3. In this episode, we get into the last straw. When you've exhausted all options do you divorce or stay in it. If you're staying in it what made you stay? Sometimes divorce isn't an easy decision. You think about the multiple concepts that you're saving at once. Let's get into it. Tune in 

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Pt 2. In this episode of the series we get into learning things about the other spouse but you learned it in secret. What happens when we want to ask someone about something we've learned but we didn't hear it from them? Maybe you did her it from them unconsciously but not when they were awake. We toil with ourselves about bombarding the other person with questions about things they didn't even tell you or don't remember telling you. It starts with trust. Can they trust you to not throw...

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Part 1 of 3. In this episode we go on a journey of one woman's thoughts in staying or divorce. We talk about the strains of being with someone who's emotionally detached and cannot verbally express their own feelings or life. Come on this journey as we go through this 3 part series. If you've ever been in this situation we loved to know your story. Contact us. connect@thecscafe.org

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We've seen the chaos the United States is in. Every choice has a consequence and every action has a reaction. Even idled actions not chosen has a consequence. In this episode we take a look at consequences. Not every choice has a direct consequence. You may want to get rid of one thing lawfully but forget that there are many things attached to the face. Although abortion rights may be the face of the law other women's rights are the body. Although you see the face you tend to...

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It's Black History Month! In this episode, I wanted to uplift the heritage and culture of black folk. Love can be described far more than just two people having intimate relations. Black love is all around us from sacrifice to ever memory made with children and grandchildren. Black love can be seen throughout history whether we were in love, loved the future enough to protect it, or just poured out love towards the community. Black love is woven inside America. It is our history. 

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In this episode, We call women front and center. This piece is dedicated to any woman who needs a pep talk, an "I understand", another match lit. Being a woman is so much more than our aesthetics, vocal tonality, and body language. Being a woman is going through so many obstacles and mental blocks that men will never understand. Womanhood and motherhood while running parallel doesn't often coexist. Not being a mother doesn't make you less of a woman. If you wasn't part of the fight this piece is...

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In this episode we talk about adult friendships. As we age we start to really dissect and reevaluate our friendships. Some of us grow apart but do we really have to though? We talk so much about communication but drop the ball when it comes to those who were there by your side at one point in time. I'm not talking about the ones who were toxic and needed to be cut and burned. Leave those be. Some times we get so caught up in life that we forget...

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In this episode, we discuss the women's sect with love. A lot of women are out there who've never experienced love. They play games with it. They demand financial gain before trusting it. They try to put love in submission with the silent treatment and so many other childish tactics to mask their lack of poor communication. There's so much that love can take before it moves on to someone more mature. Let's get into it. Women, when's the first time you knew love? Message us your answer on...

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In this episode we break down the men's version of love. I've talked to a lot of men about love and their first time they notice that they loved someone. Our first love could start as early as pre-k or as late as adulthood. This doesn't mean the more intimate love we all talk about but love in general. When was the first time you knew love? Send us your answer. 

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People talk about love like learning a new vocab word and saying it excessively. That doesn't mean you know how to use it properly. Often times we think we're "in love" but you never truly love someone until you "choose to love them". Marriage isn't always the good times. That what the vows prepared you for. Do you really love your spouse? Did you have to grow to love them? Let's get into this episode. 

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How many of you got that one person that vents about their problems but ever solves them. It becomes a dumping ground upon your mental health but does nothing to them. Sometimes you have to put a pause on people who just vent just to vent. Tell me about your good times, accomplishments, goals, etc. If all they have to bring to the conversation is negatives then drop the conversation as a whole. Protect your mental health as well as your physical health. Do something about the issues. Walk...

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Put them kids to sleep! It's time to get into Seduction 101. Let this episode seduce you but you can't touch the merchandise. Grab your partner and you know what to do. 

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Hide your kids tonight. This episode is a call to action of finding someone who can match the freak in you. some people like to omit/lie about what all their into but when it time to pull up they backdown. Handle what you can handle and if you're an explorer then find someone who matches your kink or open to learning how to. It's not easy telling people what you're into without it being thrown in your face or taken advantage of. Be careful who you share your...

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Too many people are walking around with things they never let go of and they're bounded by the pain. Communication gets lost in translation. We tend to punish the future dragging the past behind us. We never go to therapy for it but we punish future partners and our children for our hurt. Others can see and so can we. Sometimes people choose not to get over it because they feel they can control the narrative. Baby, get over that shit! Go to therapy! Harboring pain for years makes...

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There are seven stages of grief and we all go through it at different rates. Some of us take a lifetime to fill the void that that person was. Sometimes grief hits you in an instance. Anything will make you reminisce and cry. Sometimes during the process things go unsaid. People don't get told off. Sometimes we off the whole world just for a quarter of peace. It doesn't matter who you lost, just remember that grief has no time limit. It's okay to keep going but you can't...

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The truth is always a hard pill to swallow. Often times we stay running from it. Some of us hide it because we have a lot to lose. The truth will come out and you can't always take it to your grave. Deal with it. Take your ass to therapy if you must! Take the truth in, learn from it, don't repeat it, don't fight it, and move on from it. I can tell you right now someone is hiding something from you. Right now you are hiding something...

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Nothing has changed in the hunt to gun down innocent African Americans. I'm not going to put another hashtag to a person's name as if it solidifies that that was all they were. There was much life lived before they were murdered and it's about time we started talking about that. There needs to be reform and consequences for individuals whose actions are spiraling or too tense for working in public service. The goal is to protect and serve not kill on demand. We are not tallies on a...

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Over the years there have been many well known black poets. In the arts, we've had to fight to have our say. Fight to have our books published. Fight to own the rights to our words. Through all of those who fought before me I'd never want to be anything but a poet in the black. What has poetry in the blck done for you?

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Everyone has a boiling point. Eventually you will say it with your chest. The truth will push out no matter how hard someone tries to stifle it. They say black Americans badger you with never forgetting that our ancestors were slaves and that we never got any reparations for that. Truths have a funny way of snatching reparations one way or the other. Tune in now!

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Tell me where you was when you had that thought. Yes, that kind of thought at the most inopportune time. Where you're at work, in church, court, etc and you keep thinking of that person who turned you out. Could you control where your body sent you? Did you want to? Might want to make sure there are no kids present during this episode. Enjoy!

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Have you ever looked at the next generation and wondered where they child's play is at. Who nurtures children for adulthood? Why are these kids so consumed in video fames, streaming services, and tv? The imagination of children is fading. Role play in children are not as big as it was in the generations before. Let's get into it. Let me take you down memory lane in the process. 

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It' time to crank it up a bit so you might want to leave your kids in another room if you have them. Let's lay it all on the floor and and come explore the four seasons on 7 continents but never leave the bedroom. You down?

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In this episode we pay homage to Reading Rainbow and talk about banned books. There are many banned books on the public school lists across the US but many books should not be there. Books about different cultures apart from ours. Where do we draw the line? Is one race's history the only history we should know? I would think not! Hidden in this piece are banned book titles. Can you find them all? 

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In this episode we're sounding the alarm for everyone who's ever been judged by their pen, told to censor their art, told to stick to one genre, been a victim of plagiarism. We are the mold. We don't move to anyone's tune. Build your art and say it with your chest. Let them choke on your message. Let's get into it!

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There are too many wars going on across the pond. There are too many children dying as casualties of war and never getting the chance to just be. Mothers dying on cold streets. Kids losing lives in classroom. Hiding from enemy lines and although I can't be there in the natural I can be there in spirit and advocate to stop the genocide from both sides. How much more death has to be done before it's over? How many generations have to wiped off the planet to get the...

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In this episode, we pay homage to Avatar, The Last Airbender and flip it into the poetic version of mastering all elements of poetry. Are you ready to see a poet master erotic, trauma, teaching, and bars in one piece? Let's get into it. 

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