The C.S. Café

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We're closing out the love month. In this episode, we dive into the understanding of love. Do you really love the person you're with? How do you know? Are your answers more about service or character? It seems when asked "Why?" most people revert to service and not character? Let's tune in now. 

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Happy Valentine's Day! This piece really doesn't need an intro or description. Just know when that music starts put everyone under 21 out of ear's reach. Don't say I ain't warn you. Y'all have a good time tonight. Make it nasty for the freaks in the back. 

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Happy Black History Month! In this episode we celebrate black history over the last 100 years. We've done much work. Everything could not even fit in this short piece. I'd advise you to learn something new this month. 

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In this episode we dive deeper into what is going on in the U.S.. We have lost all sight of humanity chasing our own desires. We no longer see the compassion for others as a whole. It should not take death for us to see it. It should not take violence for us to wake the hell up. Yet, it does, then we take a moment of silence and never change out ways. We will always be out weakest link. It doesn't take a genius to figure out...

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In this episode we delve into a few current events. I don't like what I see when it comes to the safety of humans. Humanity has left the group chat and all we have are barbaric dictators. If we wait till all that will be done is done we won't have a home to go to. Even Hitler had a side that wasn't evil but saying "he wasn't all bad" while orchestrating one of the world's largest genocides keeps giving you the side eye. Not a damn person cares...

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In this episode, we discuss another angle. We've always had a lens on childhood trauma but not childhood protection. There's a section of us who are given the title "goody two shoes". While some wear it like a badge of honor, others tend to go out and do things outside of their protection because they deem the title as a negative connotation they just can't shake. Have you been called "goody two shoes"? Did it ever push you into situations too early trying to be seen like everyone else...

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Between two lovers there's always a kinetic pull magnetizing each other. Some would call it fate and others chance. It's what we do with it that seals our future. Some people get it and lean into it jumping the broom in the end.  Others, well they just play with fire getting close to it but never channeling the magnet. Enough of the back story. Let's tune in!

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There's a disconnect between generations across the world when it comes to passing down our heritage, tradition, and knowledge. It that generations are ashamed of it or is that they don't see the urgency and importance of knowing it all together? What's your take? Tune in!

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Dating has been around for a while. For those of us who have been out of the game and reentering it dating can be very challenging with new lingo, oversexualization, less eye contact, more distractions and the list goes on. Most of us want intellectual stimuli as well as intimacy. Some can be intellectual but not intimate. Some can be intimate and not intellectual. There must be a balance if long term is the goal. Tune in now. I bet we've all encountered someone like these examples. 

S...

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In this episode we talk about workplace hostility. If I say name that person, we all know who I'm talking about when it comes to that person who's triggered by your existence. The person that is obsessed with your whereabouts. The person who turns the problem on you. You know the problem that they caused. Let's get into it. Sometimes you have to stand your ground because keeping your calm don't always relay the message. 

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In this episode, we give a tribute to D'Angelo's double entendre song. Highlighting the essence of the hues of brown. What would I be if I didn't make it sexy but still give out a history lesson to match? Tune in now!

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In this episode, we get real about other cultures telling black Americans that they have no culture. That we have no sense of self. The main things we're known for are imitated. Never duplicate the formula close enough to solidify ownership. Most people still don't realize the original blueprint because they've seen imitation so much. Let's get into it. Tune in!

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History is going unheard. Well the truth is be silenced. It has gotten so bad that we believe the lies of someone else that to reconnect with history to find the truth for ourselves. The ones who know the truth are dying out and feel that the younger ones don't truly want to know anything about them. Better learn all you can before history has to teach you a lesson you could have skipped. 

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In this episode, we get down into those withdrawals we all face after a breakup. You know the part when you want to reach out but you don't. The part where you too hyperfocused on sex but know self control is better for you. Let's get into it then. Tune in now!

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In this episode we discuss the mistrust of physicians who cannot discard their -isms as they converse and diagnose their patients. We tend to disregard advice when it solely based on -isms. History has told us of many accounts where trust had been reneged in healthcare. Most times we don't listen. The only person that can advocate for you is you. You know your own bodies because you live with it everyday. If you feel you are being unheard then move around. We should not come to our own...

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In this episode, we delve into a poem created in a dream and written in present day. I'll leave this piece up to interpretation. I'll let you discuss what it means to you. Feel free to contact us with you own meanings. 

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In this episode, we discuss the struggles men have with being aware and accepting that most times their first time was rape. It wasn't by someone from the clergy or someone their own age but a babysitter, family friend, family member, or teacher. Society teaches men that it's a badge of honor to sleep with an older woman so it doesn't get seen as rape. It wasn't seen for a long time. The pressure of not having a "gay" son became the stomping grounds for having a raped son...

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This episode is for every adult who has been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, SPD, AUTISM in their adult years. Some of us have known we were different decades ago but were never seen. Some of us were so high functioning that no one noticed. When we finally take the time to be around people who actually see the difference and can identify it it becomes a blessing. We start to actually learn how to be free and manage our differences in a healthy way. It feels good to know...

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In a time line of dating. We have more so the men who want their dates to be like their mother. You only want the part of your mother presented to you but not her whole life in totality that you didn't see. Often compared to his mother young women tend to lay down who they are becoming to represent a persona they are not. Your autonomy is yours to cherish. the fight for women's autonomy hasn't even stopped and yet we're seeing men trying to go backwards because...

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This episode delves into the south. We often get teased a lot about our southern dialect. It may sound silly to others but to us it's something to be proud of. I wanted to uplift the culture of the south. I wanted to tell a story about southern living. Be proud of the region you came from. There's a lot of politics and harsh history but there's also culture and love. Don't you ever forget it. 

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In this episode we peel back the layers of why people cannot separate church from trauma. Often times people bring their trauma to church or their trauma started in a church but they cannot separate the culprit from God. It is like a man/woman of the cloth and God is one in the same. They're not! Some trauma is simply from being convicted by God and other are way worse and those traumas came from a wolf in sheep's clothing. We forget "free will" comes to play even...

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In this episode we're discussing how the 1970s Blaxploitation era redefined the art of dating. It passed down the notion that dating is mere transactional and that if a man spends money on a date then he is owed a woman's body. Well, that doesn't get us to a lasting relationship with that mindset now does it? We have to return that notion back to the 70s on BOTH ENDS. Dating is just that "to go on a date". It is neither transactional or sexual. How the hell are...

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How many many women wished they could have dated young under parental supervision? In this episode, we discuss raising teenagers especially young women. We tend to have a long leash on our young men but yet a shock collar on our young women. We expect them to choose wisely when they become adults but their emotional state haven't even been developed yet. All the things they could have went through as a teenager and would have been taught through they are now learning in their twenties either in college...

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In this episode we get into emotional regulation. What sets a person off? How did you learn to self deescalate a situation? Everyone isn't raised with the tools to do so early hence why we have prisons and diversion centers filled. We all know that even the best of us weren't taught how to regulate our emotions but by adulthood it shouldn't just be "who we are" but something we're willing to change. Silent treatment, "going postal", and even excessive venting are all negative traits learned by someone who...

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Pt 7/7. In this episode we get into the hard part of relationships. The ending. When does does us part. How do you move on when you have more love to give? The anger you feel about the other dying without you? The pain you feel about losing the other? The guilt you feel about wasting time. It's all part of grief and as soon as we start to let that part go then we can begin to live again. Well I don't want to ruin it for you. Tune...

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Pt 6/7. In this episode we shed a light on empty nesters. What happens between a couple when the kids have recently left the nest? How do you refocus on each other when you don't have to set an example for someone watching you? Learning to date each other or just date when there's no excuse to fall back on can be challenging but it's a good challenge. Don't let this era be an alarm that you don't know each other. Get to know who you are in the present...

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Pt 5/7. In this episode, we focus on connective intimacy. In a relationship we get so bogged down with work, chores, kids, that we forget or just plain out don't want to connect with each other. Whether it be just touch, a massage, a back rub, or sexual intimacy all of it is needed to recharge the other. I get it a relationship is not all about sex but if it stops prematurely and not collaboratively then it leads to treacherous territories. Sit back, grab a glass or two, and...

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Pt 4/7. In this episode, we talk about rekindling passion between lovers. A lot of us have passion within us but pouring into one another is where we trip up time and time again. We become too focused on "hooking up" than igniting that passion between us. Passion and seduction starts outside of the bedroom. You just have to observe it to find it. Tune in now!

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Pt 3/7. In this episode, we come to a halt as most relationships do. For whatever reason, your relationship is at a stalemate. Arguments become frequently. One or both feel like they aren't being heard. When one or both try to end it but struggle to. Where do you go from here? Ask yourself is this worth fighting for? Block out the noise and the observation of other's relationships and focus on what centers you both. If you're looking for longevity, why? Don't base it off of parents or grandparents...

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Pt 2/7. In this episode we delve into that part of love where you're always on each other's mind. Whether it be love, lust, or concern, that someone is revolving around your center. We love that for you. Thinking without making the thought an obsession is healthy for you. Go ahead now! Paint a picture of your significant other mentally and hold the essence for a day. Nothing negative. Nothing sad. Pull out a good memory and fawn over it. Let's go over and Tune in now.

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Pt 1/7. In this episode we start our "Love Through Stages" series. Let's take it all back to the beginning of your relationship. First dates till the making it "official" stage. How were you when it was time to get ready? Were you the one who had everything laid out or just picked out something the day of? Do you remember how the first conversation went? What did the day look like as it progressed? I'm not going to hold you. Tune in now!

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Pt 4/4. In this episode, we talk about the back and forth reconnections of a child with a parent battling addiction. It's not our job to save them but we often grow up wanting to. Wanting to know if we're worth more than those few minutes of high. The constant reconnection can be draining. The end game isn't always a happy ending. Just know that you are not your parents. It's ok to want to be their savior but know that the only one who can save them is them...

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Pt 3. n this episode, we take you on a journey of reconnecting with parents after divorce. Sometimes the missing parent always says, "You'll know when you get older" like there's more to the story than what you physically see. The parent raising you really don't have to fill your head with anything negative about the other. The actions of the absent parent will always show their truth every time. Let's get into it then. Tune in now!

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Pt 2. In this episode, we take you on a journey of reconnecting after lockup. Many children have trouble reconnecting after a parent has been released from the penitentiary. It's gets harder reconnecting after your whole childhood has been missed. Where do you begin? Do you even try? Let's get into it. Tune in now!

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Pt 1. In this episode, we start a news series of parental alienation. This episode goes out to all of those who have been adopted and tried to reconnect with your biological parents but it didn't go as you thought it would in your head. Tune in now. 

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Pt 3/3. In this episode, we get into the last straw. When you've exhausted all options do you divorce or stay in it. If you're staying in it what made you stay? Sometimes divorce isn't an easy decision. You think about the multiple concepts that you're saving at once. Let's get into it. Tune in 

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Pt 2. In this episode of the series we get into learning things about the other spouse but you learned it in secret. What happens when we want to ask someone about something we've learned but we didn't hear it from them? Maybe you did her it from them unconsciously but not when they were awake. We toil with ourselves about bombarding the other person with questions about things they didn't even tell you or don't remember telling you. It starts with trust. Can they trust you to not throw...

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Part 1 of 3. In this episode we go on a journey of one woman's thoughts in staying or divorce. We talk about the strains of being with someone who's emotionally detached and cannot verbally express their own feelings or life. Come on this journey as we go through this 3 part series. If you've ever been in this situation we loved to know your story. Contact us. connect@thecscafe.org

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We've seen the chaos the United States is in. Every choice has a consequence and every action has a reaction. Even idled actions not chosen has a consequence. In this episode we take a look at consequences. Not every choice has a direct consequence. You may want to get rid of one thing lawfully but forget that there are many things attached to the face. Although abortion rights may be the face of the law other women's rights are the body. Although you see the face you tend to...

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It's Black History Month! In this episode, I wanted to uplift the heritage and culture of black folk. Love can be described far more than just two people having intimate relations. Black love is all around us from sacrifice to ever memory made with children and grandchildren. Black love can be seen throughout history whether we were in love, loved the future enough to protect it, or just poured out love towards the community. Black love is woven inside America. It is our history. 

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