Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Your child can spend hours on screens without being asked… but getting them to empty the dishwasher feels impossible. So what’s really going on with motivation?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the psychology of motivation and reveal why rewards, punishments, nagging, and bribery often backfire. You’ll learn the “motivation continuum” — the simple framework that explains why some kids resist everything while others willingly pitch in, help out, and take responsibility.

This conversation will completely change the way you think about chores, homework, screens, sibling conflict, and parenting cooperation.

If you’re tired...

What happens when your child knows they did the wrong thing but immediately reaches for an excuse?

The Lachie Neale tribunal story gives parents a surprisingly useful way into a bigger conversation about responsibility, consequences and healthy masculinity. Justin and Kylie unpack what happens when kids blame others, deny what happened or expect an exception because the circumstances feel unfair.

They also explore the difference between standing up for someone and getting even, why anger can lead to poor choices, and how parents can support their kids through consequences without rescuing them from the discomfort.<...

Friendship drama is one of the biggest sources of stress for kids — and heartbreak for parents. In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the six powerful habits that create strong, lasting friendships and explain how parents can help children build healthier relationships from the very beginning.

From loyalty and inclusion to emotional support and trust, these simple but profound friendship skills can shape your child’s confidence, wellbeing, and sense of belonging for years to come.

If your child is struggling socially, feeling left out, or constantly caught in friendship ups and downs, this conversation will...

Your child’s behaviour problems might start with the way they breathe.

Dentist Dr Jason Leung joins Justin to explain why mouth breathing can affect sleep, concentration, emotional regulation and behaviour, and why some of the signs can look remarkably similar to ADHD.

They unpack the clues parents often miss, including snoring, teeth grinding, waking tired and breathing through an open mouth. Jason also explains why jumping straight to mouth taping, expanders or other devices may not fix the underlying problem, and what parents should check first.

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Your child loves reading… but now the books feel too mature. Do you step in, or risk shutting it down altogether?

This episode tackles the tricky middle ground between protecting your child and preserving their love of reading. Discover how to set boundaries without constant battles, why pushing back can backfire, and how to guide your child toward better choices—without losing connection. 

Plus some great book recommendations below!

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When life gets overwhelming, even good people become hard to live with.

In this deeply honest episode, Justin and Kylie open up about the pressure, stress, snapping, guilt, and emotional overload that can quietly take over family life — especially when the mental load becomes too heavy to carry well.

From impossible deadlines and overflowing to-do lists to the simple reset strategies that actually help, this conversation is a powerful reminder that productivity means nothing if it costs you your relationships.

If you’ve ever felt short-tempered, emotionally unavailable, constantly “on edge,” or like your fam...

The harder we push, the more our kids can push back.

Fresh from a free-diving trip in the Philippines, Justin shares an unexpected parenting lesson from 20 metres underwater: staying calm can get you further than forcing your way through. Kylie brings it back to the village around our kids and the power of adults who stop, listen and make a child feel like the most important person in the room.

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Location tracking. Checking a partner’s phone. Constantly asking where they are and who they’re with. For some teenagers, controlling behaviour is becoming so normal they may not even recognise it as a red flag.

Justin and Kylie share three simple questions sparked by Victorian Attorney-General Sonya Kilkenny’s conversation with her teenage son: Do you know that’s wrong? Do you know that’s a red flag? What do the girls think?

They unpack consent, coercive control, rejection and the messages boys are absorbing about what it means to be a man. Most importantl...

Is your child’s screen time spiralling—and every conversation about it ends in a fight? Professor Wayne Warburton, leading psychologist and researcher, reveals how apps and games are deliberately engineered to hook young brains. He explains the hidden neuroscience of addiction, what excessive screen use does to a child’s emotional regulation and attention, and how parents can reclaim calm without all-out war. If you’ve ever wondered why your tween melts down when you say “time’s up,” this episode is a must-listen.

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You’ve chosen the school you believe is best for your child. There’s just one problem. They absolutely refuse to go.

When an 11-year-old is threatening to cut up his uniform and stay home rather than attend the high school his parents have chosen, pushing harder is unlikely to help. Justin and Kylie explain why force creates resistance, what might really be underneath a child’s refusal, and how to have the conversation that could change everything.

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Some of the most well-intentioned things we say to our kids can backfire.

From “Good job, you’re so smart” to “You’ll be fine” and “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”, Justin and Kylie unpack five common phrases that can undermine confidence, shut down emotions and create distance between parents and kids.

More importantly, they share what to say instead to help kids feel understood, capable and connected.

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The best Father’s Day had almost nothing to do with presents.

Justin and Kylie share the unexpectedly beautiful family dinner that turned into stories, tears, terrible dancing and a powerful reminder of what children really take from their dads. As each daughter shared what she loved about Justin, one message kept coming through: the way a father loves his partner can shape what his children expect from love for years to come.

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More choice should make us happier. Turns out, it often does the opposite.

Whether it’s choosing a movie, buying a pair of jeans or helping your child pick school subjects, searching for the absolute best option can leave us anxious, regretful and less satisfied with what we eventually choose.

Justin and Kylie unpack the psychology of maximising versus satisficing and what the research reveals about decision-making. They explore why “good enough” can sometimes make us happier, how too many choices affect kids, and how to know when a decision deserves serious thought and when it’s t...

Parents have more advice, information and expert guidance than ever before. So why are so many feeling stressed, isolated and burnt out?

More than 10,000 Australian parents took part in the Parenting Today study, revealing a worrying decline in wellbeing, self-compassion and connection. Justin speaks with Derek McCormick, Director of Raising Children Network, about what's putting parents under so much pressure and whether the constant stream of parenting advice is part of the problem.

They unpack information overload, social media, AI, loneliness and the one simple shift that can help when parenting feels like too much.<...

Your child is standing in front of a party table loaded with cake, lollies and soft drink. Do you step in or let them go for it?

Justin and Kylie’s answer might surprise you: let the party be the party.

Research suggests that tightly restricting treats can make kids want them even more. Instead of policing every mouthful, this episode explores how parents can help kids build genuine self-control, trust around food and the ability to notice when their body has had enough.

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Do you actually know what your child is being taught about gender and identity at school?

Child and adolescent psychologist Clare Rowe says many parents have no idea what is being introduced in classrooms, particularly in the early primary years. She joins Justin to unpack what she believes is a growing gap between what children are being taught and what they are developmentally ready to understand.

They discuss gender identity education, the role of schools versus parents, what Clare is seeing in her psychology practice, and why she believes parents need greater transparency about classroom...

What if trying to create the perfect family moment is the very thing getting in the way?

After a week away with three of their daughters, Kylie realised she’d arrived with a clear picture of how their time together should look. The reality was completely different. And it turned out to be better. Justin and Kylie unpack the pressure parents put on themselves to get the “recipe” right, why our kids need room to make their own choices, and how letting go of control can create more connection.

Justin also shares what happened when Kylie...

AI never gets annoyed with you. It rarely pushes back. And it’s very good at telling you exactly what you want to hear.

New research suggests that this constant validation may come with a cost. After just three weeks of interacting with sycophantic AI, people were more likely to seek personal advice from AI and reported feeling less satisfied with their real-world relationships. Many preferred the agreeable AI because it made them feel understood.

Justin and Kylie unpack what this means for kids growing up with AI as a confidant, adviser and sounding board. Re...

Gaming can be a source of connection, competence and joy, especially for neurodivergent kids. But when switching off leads to arguments, anxiety or explosive behaviour, parents need more than another screen-time rule.

Justin speaks with Game Aware founder Andrew Kinch about why some kids are drawn so strongly to gaming, how neurodivergence can shape that relationship, and what parents can do when gaming starts crowding out sleep, school, movement and family life. They unpack the difference between gaming for enjoyment and gaming for escape, why timers can make transitions harder, and how understanding your child's favourite game...

Your 12-year-old announces they’re dating someone. There’s hand-holding, constant texting and plenty of “love you” messages. Do you shut it down, set rules or stay out of it?

Justin and Kylie unpack early teenage romance and why keeping your child talking to you matters more than trying to monitor every interaction. They explain what “dating” often means at this age, how to protect friendships and school life, and how to set boundaries without pushing the relationship underground.

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We put laptops and tablets into classrooms with a promise that technology would improve education. Nearly two decades later, parents and teachers are asking a confronting question: Did we get it wrong?

Justin speaks with Danny Alachi, founder of the Heads Up Alliance, and Victorian high school teacher Steph Challis about the push to reduce screen use in Australian schools. They unpack classroom distraction, declining literacy, the value of handwriting and physical books, and why teaching digital skills doesn’t require kids to spend every lesson behind a screen.

They also explain a new national pe...

What if trying to create the perfect family moment is the very thing getting in the way?

After a week away with three of their daughters, Kylie realised she’d arrived with a clear picture of how their time together should look. The reality was completely different. And it turned out to be better. Justin and Kylie unpack the pressure parents put on themselves to get the “recipe” right, why our kids need room to make their own choices, and how letting go of control can create more connection.

Justin also shares what happened when Kylie...

One in three babies is using a phone or tablet by six months old. By age two, almost one in ten is averaging around four hours of screen time a day.

New research into screen use during the first years of life has landed with a confronting warning for parents. Justin and Kylie unpack what researchers call “digital soothing”, why screens can crowd out the interactions babies need for healthy development, and what parents can do when zero screen time feels almost impossible.

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Pornography isn’t just a boys’ issue. Girls are seeing it too, often before their parents realise they need to talk about it.

Kristen Jenson, founder of Defend Young Minds and author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Guide for Girls, joins Justin to explain why girls need to be part of this conversation. They unpack accidental exposure, curiosity, body image, objectification and the shame that can stop girls from asking for help.

Most importantly, Kristen gives parents a simple way to prepare kids before pornography finds them: give them a definition, a warning and a plan...

Your five-year-old tells a whopping great lie at Show and Tell. Do you correct them, call them out, or let it go?

Lying can push every parental button, but for young kids, stretching the truth can be a surprisingly normal sign of cognitive development. Justin and Kylie explain why kids lie, what their tall tales might be trying to tell us, and why cracking down can make children better at hiding the truth.

The goal isn't to catch your child out. It's to understand what they need and make honesty safe.

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Everyone wants the shortcut. Better results, less effort, faster success. But what happens when the shortcut fails?

The Enhanced Games promised superhuman athletic performances through performance-enhancing drugs. Instead, the results offered a surprising lesson for parents and kids. Justin and Kylie unpack our obsession with hacks, optimisation and instant success, and explain why real achievement is usually built through something far less exciting: repetition, mistakes, patience and showing up again.

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One in three Australian kids is struggling to read at the expected level. In a classroom of 30, that’s 10 children falling behind.

Justin speaks with Rachel Amorosakra from Reading Out of Poverty about what poor literacy looks like for kids, why access to books in the first five years matters so much, and the confronting reality for children in remote communities who may not own a single book.

With Book Week approaching, they look at a practical way families can help put culturally appropriate books into the hands of children in East Arnhem Land.

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Firstborns tend to earn more, study longer and experience better mental health than their younger siblings. For decades, researchers have struggled to explain why.

A huge study following 1.2 million Danish children has uncovered a surprising piece of the puzzle. It may have less to do with personality or favouritism and more to do with germs, early illness and the extra time firstborns get with their parents.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what birth order research actually tells us, why the first six months matter so much, and the simple things parents can do...

Friendship isn't just part of childhood. It shapes confidence, mental health and whether kids feel they belong. So why does it seem harder than ever?

Michelle Mitchell joins Dr Justin Coulson to unpack the biggest friendship mistakes parents make, why today's kids need more than "just go and play", and the simple framework that helps children build healthier, stronger relationships. If your child is dealing with friendship drama, loneliness or constant social ups and downs, this conversation will change the way you guide them.

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Nothing seems to work.

You model gratitude. You talk about growth mindset. You ask what went well each day. Yet your child still expects the worst, finds the problem first, and drains every exciting moment.

So should you keep trying to make them more positive?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie answer a question from a mum of 11-year-old twins who worries one daughter always sees the glass half empty. They unpack why some children naturally think this way, why forcing optimism often backfires, and the simple shift that helps children become more...

Most relationships don't fall apart because of one big moment. They drift because of hundreds of tiny missed moments.

In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack five surprisingly simple weekly habits that relationship therapists see again and again in happy, long-lasting couples. None of them require expensive date nights, grand romantic gestures or endless free time.

From weekly check-ins to repairing arguments, these small rituals help couples stay connected through the chaos of work, parenting and everyday life. If you've ever felt like you're living alongside your partner instead of with them, this...

Sometimes the biggest parenting breakthroughs come right after we completely blow it.

Justin admits he let protective-dad mode take over when he confronted his daughter about a boyfriend he didn’t trust. The conversation went badly. Hours later, he tried again with one simple question: “What don’t I know?”

Her response changed the conversation.

Justin and Kylie unpack what happens when parents stop assuming they have the full story, how to repair things after getting it wrong, and why listening can give teenagers the space to make thoughtful choices without shutting their parents...

Your child wants to join the game. You want to join the coffee group. Your teenager wants to be part of the weekend plans. So why does asking feel so impossible?

New research reveals that most of us get one crucial social prediction completely wrong. We assume people don't want us there when the opposite is often true.

In this episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the surprising psychology behind "self invitation hesitation", why adults and kids both hold themselves back, and how one simple question can open the door to stronger friendships, greater...

You banned social media. You set the rules. You thought the biggest danger was over.

It isn't.

Award-winning journalist Madonna King has spent more than a year speaking with hundreds of children, parents, teachers, psychologists and researchers. What she uncovered will change the way you think about every screen in your home.

This conversation goes far beyond social media. From AI doing our kids' thinking for them to the quiet loss of patience, creativity and resilience, Madonna explains why the biggest risks are often the ones no one is talking about. Most importantly...

The constant bickering is exhausting. One child is breathing too loudly. Someone looked at someone the wrong way. Another toy has been touched. If you're breaking up the same tiny arguments every day, this episode will change the way you respond.

Justin and Kylie explain why stepping in too quickly often makes sibling conflict worse, and share a simple strategy that helps children solve problems themselves. It's practical, realistic, and designed for the everyday squabbles that slowly wear parents down.

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Your child could be having deeply personal, romantic conversations tonight and not with another teenager.

A new wave of AI companion apps is attracting young people by offering constant attention, endless validation and conversations that never end. They remember everything, say exactly what users want to hear and create the illusion of a real relationship.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie explain why these chatbots are so appealing, why traditional parental controls don't stop them, and how to start the conversation without shame, panic or punishment. If your child has access to a smartphone, this...

What if your child's sex education class wasn't teaching what you think it is?

In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with teacher representative Ed Schuller to discuss claims about explicit sexual education materials being used in Australian schools. They unpack where the resources come from, why many parents never see them, and the questions every family should be asking.

Whatever your views, this conversation is about one thing. Helping parents understand what their children are being taught and encouraging them to be active partners in their child's education.

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A heartbreaking family loss changed the way Professor Nicholas Epley understood his own research. In this episode, he shares how grief, adoption and decades of social science reveal a simple truth that can help every parent raise more connected, confident children.

You'll also discover why crowded rooms can still feel lonely, how to create more meaningful conversations, and the simple daily habit that strengthens every relationship.

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Your child doesn't need better social skills. They need more chances to use them.

University of Chicago behavioural scientist Professor Nicholas Epley explains why we're wired for connection but keep avoiding it. His research reveals one surprising mistake almost all of us make and how parents can help children build stronger friendships by changing one simple habit.

This conversation will make you think differently about strangers, screens and the small moments that shape confident, connected kids.

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Watching your child be ignored hurts. You want to step in, fix it and make it stop.

Before you do, listen to this conversation.

Justin and Kylie answer a question from a mum whose young sons are being shut out by older neighbourhood kids. They share practical ways to help children handle rejection, build confidence and develop friendships that last.

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