The Almost Empty Nest—Letting Go, Redefined: Parenting Teens and Finding Yourself Again—with Small Jar Coach

What if the hardest part of parenting teens and navigating the empty nest isn’t what your kids are doing, but what your own brain is telling you about it?

In this episode, I’m introducing the mindset traps that can keep us stuck in anxiety, overthinking, control, and frustration as our kids grow more independent. I’ll show you why your brain is wired to seek comfort, avoid pain, and repeat familiar patterns, and how that wiring can make letting go feel so much harder than it needs to.

You’ll learn how to recogniz...

What happens when your kids are getting older, life finally gives you a little more room to breathe…and instead of feeling grateful, you start wondering whether you’ve done enough with your life?

The empty nest and parenting teens years can bring up some surprisingly big questions about motherhood, identity, finding purpose, and what we have to “show” for all the years behind us. In this episode, I’m exploring why our brains keep moving the definition of enough, why we tend to discount so much of what actually counts, and why criticizing ourselves doesn't create what we wan...

If your kid is applying to college, waiting on decisions, or considering a transfer, it can feel like so much is riding on what happens next. But have you ever stopped to consider how much meaning are you giving one decision?

In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned after going through the college admissions process three different times with my two boys, including acceptance, rejection, disappointment, and eventually transferring. I’ll show you why a yes doesn’t guarantee happiness, a no doesn’t predict your kid’s future, and neither one says anything about whether yo...

What do you make it mean when your big kid stops opening up to you?

Maybe they give you one-word answers. Or they stop calling as much. Maybe you can tell something is going on, but they’re not telling you what it is. And before long, your mind starts filling in the blanks.

In this episode, I’m looking at what happens when we lose the kind of access we once had to our kids’ inner worlds and why that shift can feel so threatening during the teen, college, and empty nest years. I’ll show yo...

What happens inside you when your big kid is struggling and you can’t immediately make it better?

In this episode, I’m exploring why watching our teens and adult kids feel disappointed, lonely, overwhelmed, or uncomfortable can create so much anxiety for us as moms. Our instinct is often to step in, offer advice, or try to smooth the path. But sometimes that urge to help can leave us more anxious while unintentionally sending our kids the message that they can’t handle hard things on their own.

I’ll help you see why your kid...

Have you ever watched your big kid do something and immediately thought, Oh my God… what are people going to think of me?

Today, I’m talking about the embarrassment that can come with parenting teens and navigating the empty nest years, especially when your kid is rude, reckless, irresponsible, or making choices you really wish they wouldn't make.

I’ll help you separate your kid’s behavior from your identity as a mom, so you can stop overthinking what other people think, loosen the grip of shame, and get clearer about what actually belongs to you. Y...

What happens when the child you would happily spend all weekend with can barely carve out dinner with you?

That was the reality of my recent Parents Weekend, and it gave me a front-row seat to something so many of us moms experience when parenting teens and in the empty nest. It's the temptation to measure connection by how much time, attention, or reassurance our kids give us.

In this episode, I’m exploring what I call unconditional connection. I'll invite you to consider that you can want more time with your child without making th...

Have you ever found yourself more invested in your big kid’s success than they seem to be?

Maybe you’re reminding them about the job application, pushing them to study, asking for the tenth time about the chore, or wondering why they don’t seem more motivated. And before long, you’re not just frustrated by what they’re doing today, you’re worrying about who they’re becoming.

In this episode, I’m talking about the pressure we carry as moms to make our kids responsible, hardworking, resilient adults. I’ll help you separate what is a...

Have you ever noticed that when your kid is struggling, you make it your job to struggle too?

So often, as moms, we let our own peace rise and fall with how our kids are doing. They’re happy, and we can relax. They’re struggling or pulling away, and so we’re anxious, overthinking, and trying to make everything better.

In this episode, I’m continuing the Mindset Trap series with a focus on emotional outsourcing and why it becomes such an easy habit to call into during the parenting teens and empty nest years.

Have you ever had a moment when the house feels too quiet, your kids are busy living their lives, and you suddenly wonder, when did I start feeling this alone?

In this episode, I’m exploring the different ways loneliness can show up during the teen and empty nest years. Sometimes we simply miss our kids. Sometimes we’re grieving the closeness or relationship we thought we’d have. And sometimes motherhood has shifted so much that we’re beginning to see just how much we want more friendship, community, connection, or purpose of our own.

I’ll h...

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind can skip right past what’s going well and land on the one thing that still feels unresolved?

Parenting teens and navigating the empty nest can hold so many contradictions at once. You can be proud of your kid and worried about them. Grateful for this stage of motherhood and grieving what has changed. Happy for their independence and still struggling with letting go.

In this episode, I’m talking about why our brains keep scanning for problems, why the finish line with our big kids keeps movi...

When your big kid is struggling, pulling away, or making choices you don’t understand, how quickly does your brain start asking, “What did I do wrong?”

In this episode, I’m talking about the way we moms can use our kids’ choices, struggles, relationships, and happiness as evidence of how well we’re doing in motherhood. That gets especially painful as we move through parenting teens and the empty nest years, when our instinct to help is still strong but our ability to control the outcome has changed.

I’ll help you separate making mistakes from...

What happens when you set a boundary, hold it, communicate it clearly… and absolutely nothing changes?

In this episode, I’m talking about why boundaries can feel so confusing when you’re parenting teens, college kids, and adult children. At this stage of motherhood, we often judge whether a boundary “worked” by looking at what our kid does next. Did they change the behavior? Take it seriously? Learn the lesson?

I’ll help you rethink what a boundary is actually meant to do, so you can stop overthinking every decision and putting pressure on yourself to find the...

Have you ever checked your big kid’s location, reread a text, or offered one more piece of advice because you were hoping it would finally help you relax?

I’ve been noticing this in my own life lately, and it made me curious about what’s really underneath all that worry. In this episode, I’m exploring why anxiety can feel so hard to put down during the parenting teens and empty nest years, and why constantly seeking reassurance rarely gives us the certainty we’re looking for.

I’ll help you see the connection b...

How many times have you felt clear about a decision as a mom, only to watch that confidence disappear the moment your big kid became upset?

As we parent teens and navigate the empty nest, our kids’ disapproval can feel like evidence that we’re setting boundaries incorrectly, damaging the relationship, or failing at motherhood. Before we know it, we’re overexplaining, backpedaling, or changing a decision just to keep the peace.

In this episode, I’m unpacking the Approval Trap and why letting go of your need for your kid’s agreement is essential to buildin...

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your teen thinking, Did any of that even register?

Maybe you set a boundary, explain why you’re worried, or tell them how much something hurt you… and all you get back is a shrug, an eye roll, or a flat “okay.”

In this episode, I’m exploring what happens when we interpret our big kid’s reaction as proof that they don’t care, haven’t learned anything, or that we’re no longer getting through.

I’ll help you see why their outward response may...

Have you ever been surprised by how much a late text, an eye roll, a messy kitchen, or a kid who barely talks to you can get under your skin?

Sometimes the behavior itself isn’t really the whole story.

In this episode, I’m exploring the invisible contracts we create with our big kids.... the unspoken expectations about how they should respond, appreciate us, follow through, or stay connected...  and what we make it mean when they don’t.

If you’re parenting teens, navigating the empty nest, or learning the art of lettin...

What happens when the role that gave your life so much structure, purpose, and meaning starts to change?

In this episode, I’m talking about the identity shift so many moms experience while parenting teens, launching big kids, and moving toward the empty nest. When your kids need you less, it can stir up thoughts like, “I don’t know who I am anymore” or “Who am I, if I'm no longer needed?”

I’ll help you understand why those thoughts make so much sense, how motherhood can become deeply intertwined with your sense of value, and why...

There’s something about a new school year that feels like a fresh start. But for moms in the teen and empty nest years, September doesn’t always feel fresh. Sometimes we arrive already exhausted... bracing for the school year, the college transition, the empty house, the next hard conversation, or whatever we fear might be coming.

In this episode, I’m exploring what it means to stop spending so much emotional energy preparing for impact and start building your capacity to handle what life actually brings.

If you’re parenting teens, navigating an empty nest, wo...

Do you ever miss being needed by your big kid?

When I think about the empty nest, and even those times when my boys were still at home, what surprises me most isn’t just the quiet house or the extra time on my hands. It’s how much I miss being needed. Parenting teens and young adults can feel like a constant practice of letting go — and sometimes it hurts more than we expect.

If you’re a mom in this season, you probably know the ache I’m talking about. The texts that go unanswe...

Have you ever looked at your big kid and thought, “How did we get here?”

Maybe they’re pulling away, making choices you don’t understand, losing motivation, or heading in a direction that scares you. In those moments, parenting teens or young adults can bring up more than anxiety. It can bring real grief... for the relationship you thought you’d have, the future you pictured for them, and even the version of motherhood you expected.

In this episode, I’m talking about how to make space for that grief without letting it consume you. You’ll...

What if your teen’s disappointment isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong, but just part of parenting them as they grow?

In this episode, I’m talking about what happens when setting boundaries leaves you feeling like the bad guy. Whether it’s phones, parties, drinking, money, or an adult child living at home, it’s easy to second-guess yourself when your kid is angry or tells you you’re being unfair.

I’ll help you separate your child’s reaction from the actual effectiveness of your boundary, get clearer about what you can and cannot cont...

Do you ever notice how much we focus on making sure everything is ok with our big kid... and then we feel a  moment of relief when that happens... only it never lasts?

College drop-off is where this episode begins, but it’s about something bigger: loving our kids through transitions we can’t control. Whether you’re parenting teens, approaching the empty nest, watching a child transfer, graduate, or begin a job, the same questions can follow:

Will they be okay? And will I be okay if they’re not?

I’m sharing thr...

What happens when your kid is really struggling and you can’t stop your mind from imagining where it might all lead?

In this episode, I’m talking about the fear behind the thought, “I don’t think my kid is going to be okay,” and why it can leave us feeling anxious, powerless, and desperate to fix what we can’t fully control. I’ll help you separate what is actually yours to do from the pressure to somehow guarantee your child’s future.

This episode is about finding a steadier way to show up: loving your...

What if the hardest part of letting go isn’t just that your child is leaving... but that you genuinely love your life more when they’re in it?

As our kids grow up, parenting teens and moving toward the empty nest can bring a strange mix of pride, sadness, connection, and uncertainty. We want them to build lives of their own, but that doesn’t mean we automatically know how to adjust when motherhood starts to look different.

In this episode, I’m exploring what may actually be underneath that sense of loss. You’ll learn h...

What happens when the child you built so much of your life around suggests you need to go find one of your own?

In this episode, I explore why those words can stir up anger, embarrassment, grief, and even anxiety. I’ll help you understand why letting go can feel so disorienting after years of organizing your life around motherhood. You’ll learn how to get curious about what your big kid's reaction is bringing up in you, and how to explore what you want next without believing you need to prove your life has value.

💡 In...

What if the pressure to make every visit, vacation, or conversation meaningful is the very thing keeping you from enjoying it?

As my boys have grown, I’ve noticed how easily I can spend our time together reading their moods, searching for reassurance, or thinking ahead to what I need to say. But when I’m focused on getting something from the moment, I’m no longer fully in it.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it means to “be where your feet are”... to stop overthinking, let go of your agenda, and experience the privileg...

How quickly does your big kid’s hard day become your hard day too?

You want to be the mom who listens calmly. You know you can’t fix every hard thing anymore. But when your big kid is struggling, your mind starts racing, your chest tightens, and suddenly you’re searching for the right words, the right solution, or some sign that everything will be okay.

In this episode, I’m talking about why letting go can feel so impossible when parenting teens and navigating the empty nest years... and why it doesn’t mean you’r...

What happens when the parenting tools that once worked no longer give you any leverage... and your teen or adult child still isn’t making the choices you hoped they would?

In this episode, I’m exploring why setting boundaries is not about finding the perfect consequence that will finally make your child change. It’s about deciding how you want to show up when you cannot control what happens next.

You’ll learn how to stop tying your emotional well-being to your child’s choices, recognize where you still have power, and set boundaries that prote...

What happens when helping your big kid starts to feel expected... and not in a good way?

In this episode, I’m exploring the resentment that can build when we moms keeps saying yes, rearranging our lives, solving problems, and showing up…while wondering whether our big kid notices or appreciates any of it. If this sounds familiar, the real issue may not be how much you’re doing, but what's driving your choices.

You’ll learn how to tell the difference between giving from genuine desire and giving from guilt, obligation, or the hope that your c...

What if the thing exhausting you isn’t only what’s happening with your big kid, but the constant fight inside you against the fact that it’s happening at all?

Today, I’m continuing the Mindset Traps of Parenting Teens and the Empty Nest series with a focus on resisting reality... the habit of fighting what is because it isn’t what you hoped, expected, or wanted.

In this episode, I unpack why this reaction feels so natural for moms navigating motherhood, letting go, and a changing relationship with their child. You’ll begin to recognize...

Do you ever wonder what the difficult moments with your teen or adult kid says about the kind of mom you are?

When your big kid pulls away, shuts you out, or struggles, it's so easy to believe you're somehow getting motherhood wrong. In this episode, I unpack why these thoughts feel so convincing, and why they aren't the truth. I'll help you understand the difference between feeling helpless and feeling hopeless, how your mindset can fuel anxiety and stop overthinking, and what it really means to practice letting go without caring any less.

If...

When was the last time you were fully present… without your mind racing ahead to everything that could go wrong?

As moms navigating parenting teens and the empty nest, our minds often convince us that worrying is the best way to protect the people we love. But what if all that anxiety isn't preparing you at all, but instead quietly stealing the moments you'll never get back?

In this episode, I explore why our brains are wired to imagine the worst, why that habit keeps us stuck in fear and overthinking, and the surprising shift th...

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, I should be happier than this... and then wondered why you still feel disconnected from your own life?

In this episode, I'm unpacking why so many moms reach a season where they no longer feel like themselves... even when, on paper, life looks just fine. During the parenting teens and empty nest years, it's easy to spend so much energy caring for everyone else that you lose sight of what you need. I'll use Maslow's hierarchy of needs to help you identify what's really missing beneath that vague feeling of "meh"...

Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind fills in the blanks when you don't know what your teen or young adult is doing?

In this episode, I share a very personal 3 a.m. story that revealed something surprising about my own parenting... and why having more information doesn't actually create more peace. We'll explore the hidden connection between anxiety, uncertainty, and our urge to keep checking, tracking, or seeking reassurance.

If you're navigating parenting teens, an approaching empty nest, or learning the delicate balance of letting go, this conversation will help you build the...

Have you ever caught yourself waiting for your child's success to finally prove you did motherhood "right"?

In this episode, I'm exploring a belief so many moms carry without even realizing it: I'll know I'm a good mom when... my teen makes better choices, my college student is thriving, or my child finally seems happy. It feels like love...but what if it's actually keeping you trapped in anxiety and overthinking every decision you've made?

I'll show you why tying your worth to your child's outcomes leaves you feeling powerless, how this mindset quietly shapes yo...

Have you ever caught yourself wondering whether you're worrying because something is truly wrong...or simply because you love your child so much that not knowing feels unbearable?

As our kids grow into teens and young adults, motherhood asks something completely different of us. We can no longer solve every problem or protect them from every hard experience, yet our minds keep searching for certainty. In this episode, I explore why anxiety can feel so consuming during the empty nest and parenting teens years, what may actually be driving it, and how your mindset—not your child's ch...

Have you ever found yourself standing outside your teen’s bedroom door, wondering whether to knock or walk away? Or lying awake at night questioning whether you’re helping too much, not helping enough, or somehow getting it all wrong?

In this episode, I’m exploring the tension so many of us moms face as we parent teens and navigate the empty nest: knowing when to step in and when to let go. When your child seems withdrawn, unmotivated, or not quite themselves, how do you respond without letting fear make the decision for you?

I’ll u...

Do you ever feel like you're carrying the weight of everyone else's needs while your own go unseen? If you're a mom navigating parenting teens or the empty nest, resentment can become part of daily life...showing up as frustration, exhaustion, disconnection, and the feeling that no matter how much you do, it's never enough.

In this episode, I'm exploring why resentment is so common in motherhood, what keeps it simmering beneath the surface, and why it can have such a powerful impact on your relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being. Letting go of resentment isn't about caring...

Have you ever looked at your teen or adult child and thought, they don’t want anything to do with me?  In this episode, I explore one of the most painful thoughts many moms carry in silence while parenting teens and navigating the empty nest transition.

Join me as I talk about why distance from our kids can feel so personal. We’ll uncover the mindset traps that convince us something is wrong, how those beliefs fuel our anxiety, and why letting go often feels harder than we expected. 

If you’re a mom struggling with disc...