Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

You're thinking about signing your kid up for a travel-heavy club team with a price tag that makes you wince - and a co-parent who sees the whole thing differently. Might saying yes to club sports support your talented kid while undermining the rest of family life?

It's a miserable spot to be in. We don’t want to hold our kids back, but we also worry about what club sports might cost our families in terms of time, money, and togetherness. 

The good news: our kids are still figuring out who they are, what the...

Right now, a lot of families are thinking about how to talk with their kids — especially their sons — about consent and how sexual partners deserve to be treated. And if you find something graphic on your teen's screen, you face another challenging question: what is this actually teaching my teen, and is it already too late to do something about it?

Here's what makes this conversation more important than ever: according to Common Sense Media, 73% of U.S. teens have seen online pornography by age 17 — boys and girls encounter it at nearly the same rate, but boys are co...

Your sobbing middle schooler has just seen a Snapchat of their friend group hanging out without them and feels devastated …and you have no idea whether you should call the other parents, try to help your child cheer up, or just stay out of it.

Watching kids be excluded by friends they’ve had for years often leaves parents feeling bewildered, upset, helpless - or all of the above. Feeling angry on your kid’s behalf and wanting to rush to the rescue are completely understandable reactions. But you’ll want to take a beat and listen to this...

Perhaps your kid has left college before graduation and seems to be drifting along. Or maybe your high school student doesn’t seem to be “lit up” about anything. If this is your teen, every well-meaning  "how's your kid doing?" from a friend can feel like it’s poking at an emotional bruise.

Are you worrying too much, or is this actually a problem? Is your kid “failing to launch” or have they simply hit a rough patch? While the answer may not be clear, one thing is: you’re not the only parent losing sleep about it.

In t...

Your kid announces they’re cutting out sugar. No cookies or dessert, just carrots and hummus for lunch on repeat. You notice they’ve lost a little weight. And somewhere in the back of your mind, a voice keeps asking: is this fine, or is this not fine?

Are you being anxious, or are you being appropriately worried? That in-between space is exhausting. If that’s where you are right now, you’re not overreacting, and you’re not alone.

Dr. Kelly Bhatnagar walks us through what actually separates a “healthy eating” phase from something worth a closer...

You may know this scene: your kid forgot practice gear again, an assignment vanished into the void, and you're wondering if your teen is just disorganized — or is there something more serious going on?

That mix of exhaustion and frustration is real. Chasing lost details, worrying that you may have dropped the ball, wondering if you're overreacting to normal middle school or high school organization struggles, or missing something bigger — you're allowed to feel all of that without it meaning you're failing anyone.

Here's some good news: the part of the brain that handles executive func...

If you've ever wondered whether you're doing enough to help your child feel good about themselves, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on confidence, self-esteem & self-compassion into one episode for you.

This encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation offers a research-backed roadmap for raising kids with a solid sense of self-worth — and for parents who want to model that from the inside out. This episode also features conversations with three leading experts: Dr. Tovah Klein, Dr. Sue Varma, and Dr. Traci Baxley.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why kids' confidence naturally dips at predic...

The college admissions process doesn't have to consume your family. If it already feels that way, this episode is exactly what you need.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Rick Clark, higher education leader, co-author of “The Truth About College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together,” and a career insider in college admissions at Georgia Tech. Rick has spent years helping families cut through the noise, anxiety, and mythology of the admissions process, and his perspective is grounding and genuinely reassuring. 

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why there is...

If you've repeatedly asked your kid to help out and they still don’t follow through, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.

Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down why nagging doesn't build a work ethic — and what actually does. From linking privileges to responsibilities, to knowing exactly when to step back and let natural consequences do the teaching, this encore episode gives parents of tweens and teens a practical, guilt-free framework for raising kids who can be counted on, without turning every chore or assignment into a battle.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why struc...

You know screens and social media can be risky for your kid. But do you know exactly what harm looks like… and what actually protects them from it?

Dr. Lisa Damour revisits her conversation with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, pioneering pediatrician, author, and California's first Surgeon General, recorded live at the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families. A globally recognized expert on Adverse Childhood Experiences and toxic stress, Dr. Burke Harris has spent her career studying what harms children and what heals them. Her answer to the screen time crisis might surprise you: the most powerful pr...

Your kid comes home devastated after being left out, dropped, or caught in the middle of a friendship blowup. You may want to help, but don’t know what to say—or whether you should step in at all. Take heart: this episode will help you navigate the situation with confidence.

In this encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on friendship conflict, bullying, and social drama — the stuff that can make the tween and teen years so painful for kids and so hard to watch as a parent. Whether yo...

If mealtimes in your home feel like a power struggle, or you're exhausted from worrying whether your kid is eating well, this episode will come as a relief.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Dr. Reshma Shah, a Stanford-affiliated pediatrician, public health expert, and co-author of the award-winning book “Nourish: The Definitive Plant-Based Nutrition Guide for Families.”

With over 20 years of experience in academic and clinical pediatrics and a deep commitment to family-centered approaches to food and wellbeing, Dr. Shah offers a low-pressure, evidence-based roadmap for helping kids develop a healthy rela...

If your son is shutting down, pulling away, or turning to the internet to answer questions you wish he'd brought your way, this episode is for you.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Joanna Schroeder and Christopher Pepper, co-authors of the book “Talk to Your Boys,” to cut through the noise about boys, masculinity, and what's actually happening inside the minds of tween and teen sons.. 

Joanna brings her background in gender studies and years as Executive Editor of The Good Men Project. Christopher has spent his career as an award-winning healt...

Is your family stressed, anxious, and fixated on getting your teen into a "dream school"? What if that's the wrong goal entirely?

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Jeff Selingo, bestselling author and higher education expert, to reframe the process of searching for the “right” college. After more than 25 years of studying what actually helps students thrive in college, Jeff has a finding that may surprise you: it’s not where your teen goes to college that matters most—it’s how they engage once they’re there.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why attendi...

If you feel like you're doing too much for your kids — and it’s time for them to do more for themselves — this episode is your roadmap out.

Dr. Lisa Damour makes the case for using summer to foster independence in our kids. The summer months provide the perfect window to hand off real responsibilities to your tween or teen in a way that actually sticks. From laundry to cooking dinner to managing their own appointments, this encore episode gives you a practical, step-by-step approach to raising a more capable kid.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why sum...

 Does your teen seem more attached to their friends and their phone than to you? That's not just a feeling, and it's not a phase you have to wait out.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with two of the world's leading experts on child development, globally renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, and developmental psychologist and author Dr. Gordon Neufeld, to address how parents can stay connected to their teens, even as they spread their wings. This is one of our most-watched episodes ever on YouTube, and we think you'll understand wh...

If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD (or you suspect they might have it) this episode will change the way you see them.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their candid, funny, and genuinely moving conversation with Penn and Kim Holderness — viral content creators, bestselling authors, podcasters, and authors of “ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD.”

Together, they strip away the shame, explain what it really feels like to have ADHD, and give parents a practical, strengths-based roadmap for helping their kids thrive at home and at school.

💡 YO...

If watching "Adolescence" on Netflix left you feeling worried about your son, this episode will help you turn your concerns into action.

Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down what the show gets exactly right about adolescent boys: why they're emotionally constrained by culture, how that vulnerability gets exploited by toxic online figures like Andrew Tate, and what parents can do right now to connect with their sons. This is our most-watched episode ever on YouTube — and we think you'll understand why.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why boys are often only "allowed" to express anger and pleas...

If your child has just come out to you — or you sense they might be questioning their gender identity — you may be wondering what to say, what to do, and how to get this right. This episode is here to help.

Dr. Lisa Damour walks parents through one of the most important conversations of adolescence: how to respond when your tween or teen comes out as gay, lesbian, or bi, or expresses a non-traditional gender identity. From what to say in that first moment, to navigating sleepovers, sex, family disclosure, and community attitudes, this episode gives you a cl...

Does your family hit September feeling more exhausted than when summer started? You're not alone — and it doesn't have to be that way.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour shares her research-backed S.U.N. framework — Sleep, Unplug, and Nature — a simple, three-part plan for making summer genuinely restorative for your tween or teen (and for you). Whether your family is drowning in screens, running on bad sleep, or spending zero time outdoors, this episode gives you a realistic, concrete roadmap you can actually put on the calendar.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why protecting sleep mat...

Does your tween or teen struggle with low confidence and self-esteem? Do you want to cultivate healthy self-compassion and self-worth in them — and in yourself?

In this special "Best of Ask Lisa" compilation, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and co-host Reena Ninan pull together some of their most powerful conversations on self-esteem, confidence, and self-compassion, covering the full arc of the tween and teen years. 

Whether your child is drowning in negative self-talk, paralyzed by perfectionism, or just seems to have lost the spark they once had, this episode will help you understand what's normal, wha...

Your teen does everything right. Homework done. Pays attention. Stays organized. Has study skills. And still struggles with tests.

​​Sound familiar? You're not alone, and this is not your kid's fault.

In this episode of “Ask Lisa,” clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into one of the most frustrating and confusing problems parents face: the capable, motivated teen who just can't seem to perform on assessments. 

Drawing on the science of learning and memory, Lisa explains exactly why this happens, what's actually going on in your teen's brain, and how you can h...

It's prom season, and one mom is facing a tough call: her son wants to go to an unsupervised after-party two hours away. Other parents are saying yes. Her gut is saying no. And her son is saying he'll skip prom entirely if she doesn't let him go.

Whether it's prom, spring break, or any other "big night" moment, dilemmas like this one can keep parents up at night. Should you trust your kid, or should you trust your instincts?

Dr. Lisa Damour, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, and Reena Ninan break...

Loot boxes, in-app purchases, Robux, skins — and a kid who won't stop asking for them. If you're a parent of a tween or teen gamer, you already know this pressure. But are these purchases actually harmful, or are you just out of touch with how gaming works today?

In-app purchases are one of the most confusing pressure points for parents of tweens and teens right now. The games are "free to download," but they’re not really free. And when real money turns into Robux or gems, it can disappear fast.

In this episode, clinical psyc...

In recognition of National Fentanyl Awareness Day, we're bringing back one of our most critical episodes — because every family needs this information.

Illicit fentanyl has contaminated the drug landscape and is causing record deaths among young people. How should parents talk with their teens about this fast-moving crisis? What can we say to help keep our kids safe?

Dr. Lisa Damour, who serves on the advisory board of Song for Charlie, and Reena Ninan are joined by Ed Ternan and Marcia Lee Taylor of Song for Charlie, the national nonprofit behind National Fentanyl Awareness Day. Ed...

Your tween won't shower, won't change their clothes, or lies about having brushed their teeth or washed their face...Sound familiar?

If you're in the middle of a hygiene battle with your tween or young teen, you're not alone, and you're not failing as a parent. This is one of the most common (and confusing) challenges of early adolescence, especially when basic resistance starts to take the form of sneaking or lying.

In this episode, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack what's really...

Creatine for teens, supplements for teen athletes, and navigating gym culture pressure on social media… Dr. Lisa Damour answers the question parents of teen athletes are searching for.

Your teen's teammate is taking creatine. Now your kid wants it too. Maybe they're a serious athlete with real goals. Maybe you even take supplements yourself. But something still feels… off. This is genuinely a hard call, and you deserve expert guidance on how to start this conversation with your kid. 

In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan dig into one of the fa...

Your teen got into college. Now comes the harder question: are they actually ready to go?

If you're wondering whether they have what it takes to handle a difficult roommate, navigate the college party scene, or make real friends on their own, you're not alone. This is one of the most common, and least talked about, worries parents carry into the summer before college drop-off.

In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan cut through the anxiety to give you a clear-eyed, compassionate framework for assessing your teen's readiness, and...

Wondering how to talk to your teen about relationships and intimacy? Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour has the research-backed answers.Your teenager is in a relationship, and now you're asking yourself a question you never thought you'd have to answer: Do I allow this in my home?

This is a tough topic to face, but avoiding it doesn't protect our kids. Honest, values-based conversation does.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan unpack what the research actually says about teen intimacy, why your discomfort is valid, and how to respond in a way that reflects your...

If you're raising a tween or teen in a world of social media, smartphones, and AI, this conversation is for you.

How do you protect your kid from the psychological harms of today's digital world (disturbing content, social media, and AI) without pushing them away or damaging the relationship you've worked so hard to build with them? That's the question at the heart of this special episode of Ask Lisa.

Live from the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour sits down with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, award-winning physician, researcher...

Your kid just got dropped by their friend group, or they're being left out, iced out, or caught in the middle of middle school friendship drama… and you have no idea what to say.

In this “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation, we’ve curated wisdom from clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour on friendship conflict to help parents understand exactly what's happening beneath the surface of tween and teen friend drama and give you the tools to help your kid through it.

Whether your child has been dumped by a friend group, is dealing with a mean "fr...

Is your teen obsessed with their appearance? Spending hours in front of the mirror, constantly taking selfies, and seeking validation for their looks? In a world where social media turns appearance into currency, building your teen's self-esteem on a stronger foundation has never been more important.

In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan dig into a letter from a parent whose 14-year-old daughter’s world has started to revolve around how she looks. So when does preoccupation with appearance cross the line into something worth addressing?

Dr. Lisa breaks it all do...

You check your phone and your teen's location is off again. Are they okay? Are they hiding something? …And should you even be tracking them in the first place?

In this week's episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dig into one of the most common standoffs happening in homes with teenagers right now: location sharing. A dad writes in about his 16-year-old son, who has started turning off his location. The kid wants privacy and autonomy. The dad just wants to sleep at night. Who’s right here?

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- What tracking your teen is...

If your teen texts "I want to unalive myself" or "kms," should you be worried?

The frightening topic of teen suicide is made worse by confusing headlines, evolving slang, and the fear of saying the wrong thing. But here's what you need to know: the research is cautiously hopeful, you have more power than you think, and asking direct questions saves lives.

In this essential episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan sit down with Dr. Jonathan B. Singer, one of the country's leading experts on youth suicide prevention to hear what parents need to...

Is your teen too obsessed with their girlfriend or boyfriend? Constant texting, ditching friends, and living on their phone. Perhaps you're watching them disappear into this relationship and you don't know what to do.

If you're worried your teen's relationship is too intense and wondering how to talk to them about healthy balance without pushing them away, this episode is for you.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan tackle a question from a mom whose high school son is texting his girlfriend 24/7, barely seeing his friends anymore, and disappearing onto what Lisa calls a "relationship...

Is your teen’s snark just “normal attitude”… or could it be something more serious?

If you’re walking on eggshells around a constantly irritable, sarcastic teenager and wondering whether this is just adolescence or a red flag not to ignore, you’re not alone. In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, Dr. Lisa Damour helps parents make sense of the exhausting, confusing reality of teen snark and explains when it may actually be a sign of depression that needs real attention.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience working with adolescents...

What would YOU do if you discovered your tween or teen was reading explicit fan fiction online?

Today’s kids are often learning about sexuality through the internet, often long before parents realize it. How you respond can either shut down communication or open the door to thoughtful, values-based conversations that actually stick.

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan tackle a question many parents are asking: Should we be worried about our kids reading explicit fan fiction? 

💡 YOU’LL LEARN...

What do you do when your tween or teen is convinced school doesn’t matter because they’re definitely going to be an influencer?

If your child talks more about TikTok fame than homework, dismisses “real jobs,” or seems completely disengaged from school and real-world relationships, this episode is for you. Parents today are navigating brand-new territory, and it can feel scary, frustrating, and isolating when your kid’s ambitions seem disconnected from reality.

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan respond to a paren...

Is your teen pushing for another piercing? Are you feeling torn between setting limits and respecting their self-expression?

In this episode of “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens,” Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan take on a question sent directly from a 16-year-old listener: How many piercings should a teen be allowed to have? 

What starts as a question about jewelry opens up a much bigger conversation about boundaries, autonomy, culture, identity, and healthy parent-teen tension. Together, Lisa and Reena explore why piercings can matter so much to teens, why they can feel so un...

Today’s teens often try to tackle their homework while fielding nonstop notifications, listening to music, and participating in group chats. Plenty of parents wonder if this is a fight worth having, or if this is just – as some teens say – “how kids study now.”

In this episode of Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens, clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and journalist Reena Ninan unpack one of the most common (and maddening) modern parenting dilemmas: Can teens really focus while multitasking with technology?

They explore why self-interruptions are just as disruptive as outside ones, when...