Sexology

Welcome to Episode 502 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jane Garnett, LMFT who speaks to me about how our attraction patterns develop and whether we change who we are drawn to.

In this episode, Jane and I discuss why we can have so much attraction to people who are emotionally unavailable or unable to give us the secure relationship we want. We also look at how attachment styles, cultural conditioning, unmet emotional needs, and past relationship experience can influence what is exciting or desirable. 

Jane Garnett is an Oxford-educated s...

Welcome to Episode 501 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Heather Florio and Dr. Fenwa Milhouse who speak to me about sexual health, desire, and pleasure during perimenopause and menopause.

In this episode, we discuss how changes in levels of oestrogen and testosterone can affect the brain, genitals, arousal and sex drive. We examine why hormones alone are rarely the cause of low libido, and how relationship dynamics, painful sex, body image, stress, shame, and the natural shift from spontaneous to responsive desire can all impact someone’s sexual ex...

Welcome to Episode 500 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I am excited to be joined by some of my most memorable guests, who speak to me about the biggest lessons on pleasure, desire, intimacy, and connection from the past nine years.

In this special milestone episode, I revisit conversations that challenged common assumptions about what fulfilling sex is supposed to look like. We explore why foreplay often begins long before anyone enters the bedroom, how every human body experiences pleasure differently, and why there is no single correct way to orgasm. We also look at...

Welcome to Episode 499 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Michelle Sands, who speaks to me about the connection between hormones, stress, the nervous system, and women’s sexual desire.

In this episode, Dr. Sands explains why a loss of desire is not always a libido problem. We discuss how changes in estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, circulation, sleep, and vaginal health can affect arousal and sexual comfort, particularly during perimenopause and menopause. We also talk about why pain during sex can naturally reduce desire and why women should not assume that they ar...

Welcome to Episode 498 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Amanda Dames who speaks to me about soft dom dynamics, masculinity, and communication in kink.

In this episode Amanda and I discuss what it really means to be a soft dom and how this style of dominance is different than the harsh, controlling stereotypes often associated with dom-sub dynamics. We talk about the basis for soft domination, on care, attunement, emotional safety and the desire to bring out the best in a partner, as opposed to control, punishment or...

Welcome to Episode 497 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Shoshanna Blanca who speaks to me about bridging sexuality and spirituality, healing sexual shame, and reclaiming the body as sacred.

In this episode, I speak with Shoshanna about her provocative and deeply personal project, Jesus Christ Pornstar, and the spiritual journey that inspired it. She shares how psychedelic experiences helped her reimagine the relationship between the body, pleasure, faith, and divinity. Together, we also discuss how sexuality and spirituality do not have to exist in opposition, especially for people...

Welcome to Episode 496 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by David Chambers, who speaks to me about male sexual performance anxiety and creating more connected sexual experiences.

In this episode, David and I talk about the pressure many men feel to perform during sex. We discuss how focusing on erections, penis size, orgasm and technique can disconnect men from their bodies and partners, turning intimacy into something they must successfully deliver.

David Chambers, known as The Authentic Man, is a UK-based dating, relationship and...

Welcome to Episode 495 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Debra Durst who speaks to me about biohacking sexual health, hormone optimization, and libido after 40.

In this episode, Dr. Durst and I talk about how sexual health can shift during perimenopause, menopause, and midlife, but why that does not mean people have to simply accept a decline in desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasmic strength, or overall sexual satisfaction. We also discuss how hormone changes, low testosterone, stress, burnout, medication, childbirth, and aging tissue can all play a role in sexual concerns, and...

Welcome to Episode 494 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Amanda McCracken, who speaks to me about breaking the cycle of infatuation, limerence, perfectionism, and longing for emotionally unavailable love.

In this episode, Amanda shares the deeply personal story behind her book When Longing Becomes Your Lover and how writing the book helped her understand the dating patterns that kept pulling her toward unavailable partners. We speak to the difference between real love and the emotional intensity that often pretends to be love, particularly when anxiety and fear and...

Welcome to episode 493 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Rosa Campbell, who speaks to me about Shere Hite, The Hite Report, and the ongoing struggle to centre women’s sexual pleasure.

In this episode, Rosa introduces us to Shere Hite’s groundbreaking 1976 book, The Hite Report, which gathered women’s honest experiences of sex, orgasm, desire, and dissatisfaction at a time when their voices were rarely included in sexology research. We discuss how Hite challenged the assumption that penetration should define sex, revealing how many women felt trapped inside sexual scripts that p...

Welcome to episode 492 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Susanna Brisk, who shares with me her insights on reconnecting to desire, the energetic body and sexual intuition.

In this episode, Susanna and I talk about how sexuality is much more than just technique. We discuss the energetic body, the unconscious agreements we bring to our relationships, and how shame, religious guilt, trauma, gender roles and cultural expectations can subtly impact desire.

Susanna Brisk is a Sexual Intuitive® who teaches people how to trust w...

Welcome to Episode 491 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Alexander Giebel, who speaks to me about the history of lubricants, how to choose the right lube, and why quality is important for sexual health.

In this episode, Alexander shares how his interest in sexual health started during the HIV crisis of the 1990s, when condoms became a cornerstone of safer sex education. Working on those, he became fascinated with the silicone lubricant used on condoms, and eventually helped bring silicone-based personal lubricant to the broader market.

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Welcome to Episode 490 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I am excited to be joined by Dr. Jordan Barber, who speaks to me about pain during sex.

In this episode, Dr. Barber and I discuss why so many people are told that “everything looks normal” when they are experiencing very real pain during sex. He explains how standard medical testing often misses muscle and nerve function, and why painful sex is rarely caused by one single factor.

Dr. Jordan Barber is a Doctor of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine (DAOM) specializing in i...

Welcome to Episode 489 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Elana Auerbach, who speaks to me about navigating sexless marriages and reviving physical intimacy.

It is incredibly common for long-term relationships to experience a decline in physical intimacy over time. Often, couples fall into a routine where life gets busy, and cultivating a sexual spark drops to the bottom of the priority list. During our conversation, we explore why this happens and how unspoken frustrations and rejections can build up over time like invisible panes of glass between partners. 

Welcome to Episode 488 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Arthur Burnett who speaks to me about delayed ejaculation and loss of penile sensitivity.

In this episode Dr. Burnett and I discuss a topic that has been highly requested by many of our listeners and clients. We look at the complicated factors behind delayed ejaculation and the annoying loss of sensitivity some men experience. Dr. Burnett shares his urologic expertise on the role of physical health conditions such as diabetes or sensory neuropathies as well as the much-debated ro...

Welcome to episode 487 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I am excited to be joined by Courtney Fae Long, who speaks to me about understanding and resolving lost desire in long-term relationships.

In this episode, we talk about a common problem that many couples in long-term relationships have: the natural change and sometimes loss of sexual desire. When a partner's interest seems to fade, it's easy for our minds to jump to the worst possible conclusions. But in reality, it's often because of mismatched expectations, not a lack of attraction. Courtney and I talk about the myth of r...

Welcome to Episode 486 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Juliane Maxwald who speaks to me about understanding our sexual symptoms as deeper unconscious communications.

In this episode, we talk about how sexual problems are rarely just about sex. In this day and age, people are always looking for a quick fix or a medical solution to their personal problems. Julianne beautifully explains that symptoms like low desire or trouble getting an erection are often our bodies telling us about deeper emotional needs, unresolved trauma, or hidden worries. 

Welcome to Episode 485 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Sienna Sinclaire, who speaks to me about the art of oral sex and navigating the mental blocks that often surround it.

In this episode, we talk about real ways to improve your skills and boost your confidence. The goal is to treat sexual encounters like a playground for exploration. You can do this by using your hands as a tool and trying out different temperatures, like ice and warm water. We also talk about common worries about smell and body imag...

Welcome to Episode 484 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Genevieve Lejeune, who speaks to me about the evolution of sexual identity and the importance of creating safe spaces for exploration.

In this episode, we discuss the emotional complexities that arise when a partner begins to question or redefine their sexual orientation. This journey can often feel destabilizing for both individuals in a relationship, triggering fears of inadequacy or the worry that the relationship might be coming to an end. Genevieve and I discuss how to navigate these transitions by pr...

Welcome to Episode 483 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to have Courtney Boyer on the show. In this episode, Courtney talks to me about how she transitioned from living in a strict purity culture to living in a polyamorous lifestyle.

Courtney discusses her childhood in a strict religious setting where her worth and safety were closely linked to her ability to control her sexual urges. We talk about the "myth of the perfect Christian wife" and how many women in these communities feel pressured to keep up the act of sacrifice. 

Welcome to Episode 482 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jessica Idoine who speaks to me about the role of the nervous system in erotic connection and how couples can move from the stress of daily life into a state that supports intimacy and foreplay.

Jessica and I talk about why a lot of people find it difficult to shift from the hectic nature of daily obligations to erotic connection. We examine how the nervous system is crucial to sexual responsiveness and why arousal and pleasure depend on a transition fro...

Welcome to Episode 481 of the Sexology Podcast! I'm thrilled to have Gigi Engle join me today as she talks about kink, how it's frequently misinterpreted, and how people can explore their desires with open communication, curiosity, and safety.

Gigi and I discuss what kink actually entails and why it is much more expansive than the preconceived notions that many people have about it. She describes how the term "kink" serves as a catch-all for a variety of relational and sensory experiences, ranging from more symbolic forms of erotic expression to power dynamics and sensation play. 

Welcome to Episode 480 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Taylor P. Kohn who speaks to me about the impact of GLP-1 receptor agonists on sexual health and erectile function.

In this episode, we discuss the growing curiosity around GLP-1 medications and whether they influence erectile dysfunction, libido, and overall sexual performance. Dr. Kohn shares insights from his large claims database study examining young men without diabetes who initiated GLP-1 treatment. We also talk about reassuring findings, including the low overall rate of new erectile dysfunction diagnoses, while also unpacking the di...

Welcome to Episode 479 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Zach Brittle who speaks to me about negative sentiment override and how relationship dynamics shape our erotic connection.

In this episode, Zach and I discuss how the emotional tone of a relationship deeply influences intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. We look at the concept of Negative Sentiment Override, a term from John Gottman’s research, and discuss how couples can find themselves stuck in patterns where even neutral moments feel charged with criticism or defensiveness. 

Zach...

Welcome to Episode 478 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by EJ and Tarah Kerwin who speak to me about sex and parenting, how becoming parents reshaped their intimacy, desire, and how they maintain their emotional connection to each other.

In this episode, EJ and Tarah speak to me about what it was like to go from a playful, spontaneous sex life to feeling completely overwhelmed after the birth of their twins; navigating sleep deprivation, and the resurfacing of past trauma. They also talk openly about the grief that can accompany sh...

Welcome to episode 477 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Laurie Gerber, who speaks to me about how to communicate about sex, sexual preferences, and talking about difficult topics like STIs with more confidence and clarity.

In this episode, Laurie and I discuss why silence is one of the biggest obstacles to fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships. Laurie shares powerful insights from her work with clients, especially around why sex is a key differentiator between friendship and romantic partnership, and why ongoing conversations matter more than crisis-driven ones.

Welcome to Episode 476 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Ally Iseman, who speaks to me about desire discrepancy, long-term intimacy, and how travel can become a powerful doorway back to erotic connection.

In this episode, Ally and I discuss one of the most common struggles couples bring into therapy: loving their partner while feeling disconnected from sex and intimacy. We talk about why desire naturally shifts over time, how novelty + security can feel like they are pulling in opposite directions, and why sexless periods are often symptoms rather than the...

Welcome to Episode 475 of the Sexology Podcast! Today, I am excited to be joined by Caitlin V, who speaks to me about erectile unpredictability, performance anxiety, and supporting men’s sexuality through a holistic, shame-free lens.

 A quick note for my single listeners in California, if you're craving intentional, psychologically grounded ways to meet people. We have a beautiful offering coming up through LALOVELAB.com; a company I co-created with my colleague Dr. Richard Espinoza. Our next matchmaking event is Saturday February 7th at 4:00pmhosted at the Craft Contemporary Museum in LA. It's thoughtfully curated...

Welcome to Episode 474 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Amy Quinn and Malia Carvallo, who speak to me about healing sexuality, pleasure, and connection through embodiment, community, and altered states of consciousness.

 A quick note for my single listeners in California, if you're craving intentional, psychologically grounded ways to meet people. We have a beautiful offering coming up through LALOVELAB.com; a company I co-created with my colleague Dr. Richard Espinoza. Our next matchmaking event is Saturday February 7th at 4:00pmhosted at the Craft Contemporary Museum in LA. It's tho...

Welcome to Episode 473 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Nicole Thompson, who speaks to me about psychedelic-informed sexuality, chemsex, and harm reduction in erotic spaces.

A quick note for my single listeners in California, if you're craving intentional, psychologically grounded ways to meet people. We have a beautiful offering coming up through LALOVELAB.com; a company I co-created with my colleague Dr. Richard Espinoza. Our next matchmaking event is Saturday February 7th at 4:00pm hosted at the Craft Contemporary Museum in LA. It's thoughtfully curated experience designed by u...

Welcome to Episode 472 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Anya Laeta, August McLaughlin, Bel Di Lorenzo, Dr. Elliot Justin, Dr. Evan Goldstein, Dr. Maria Sophocles, Nicoletta Heidegger and Suzannah Weiss as part of this special episode on setting goals for sexual health in 2026. 

As we move into the new year, I want to slow things down a bit and move away from rigid resolutions that are often rooted in pressure, shame, or performance. In this episode, I’m bringing together voices you already know and trust to help reframe sexua...

Welcome to Episode 471 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Ita O’Brien, who speaks to me about intimacy coordination, embodied consent, and creating safety and authenticity in intimate storytelling.

In this episode, I sit down with Ita to discuss what an intimacy coordinator actually does and why this role has become so essential in film, television, and theatre. We talk about how intimacy coordination brings structure, clarity, and care to intimate scenes, not only to protect performers, but to serve the story, the characters, and the creative vision. 

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Welcome to Episode 470 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Margeaux Feldman, who speaks to me about trauma, chronic illness, intimacy, and pleasure, inspired by their book Touch Me. I’m Sick.

In this episode, we discuss the personal and academic journey that led them to write Touch Me. I’m Sick., which began as a PhD dissertation and evolved into a deeply human book about sickness, trauma, disability, and love. Margeaux shares how their own experience with chronic illness shifted their work away from purely academic analysis and toward...

Welcome to Episode 469 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Laura Federico and Morgan Miller who speak to me about cycle tracking, hormones, and the mind body connection in sexuality and health.

In this episode, we discuss what inspired Laura and Morgan to write their book “The Cycle Book” and how their personal and professional experiences shaped their approach. We talk about the profound gaps in education around hormones, menstruating bodies, and sexual health, and how this lack of information often leaves people feeling confused, dismissed, or disconnected from their own bodies...

Welcome to Episode 468 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Dr. Alyssa Yee, who speaks to me about the realities of vulvar and vaginal pain, the challenges of diagnosis, and how partners can offer meaningful support.

In this conversation, we discuss the wide range of painful symptoms many vulva owners experience, from burning and sharp stinging at the vestibule to deeper pelvic discomfort that can appear during or after sexual activity. Dr. Yee helps clarify how conditions such as vestibulodynia, hormonal disruptions, pelvic venous disorders, and endometriosis often go unrecognized or ar...

Welcome to Episode 467 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Suzannah Weiss who speaks to me about understanding and addressing the orgasm gap in long term relationships.

In this conversation, we look at why orgasm inequality persists even among couples who consider themselves progressive, communicative, and sexually informed. We discuss how cultural narratives, media scripts, and outdated beliefs continue to shape expectations around women’s pleasure, often leaving vulva owners feeling inadequate or unseen in intimate relationships. 

Suzannah Weiss is a writer, sexologist, and psych...

Welcome to Episode 466 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jessica Fern who speaks to me about consensual non-monogamy, secure attachment, and the inner work required to build healthy open relationships.

In this conversation, Jessica shares her personal journey into non-monogamy and the ways her clinical work pushed her to explore the topic more deeply. We talk about emotional exclusivity, the origins of Polysecure, and how people can distinguish between personal triggers, relational dynamics, and the messages they have absorbed from society. Jessica offers thoughtful insights on insecurity, jealousy, an...

Welcome to Episode 465 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to be joined by Jessica Baum, who speaks to me about how attachment styles shape our sexual connection and intimacy within long-term relationships.

In this episode, we explore how attachment theory helps us understand why so many couples struggle with maintaining desire over time. We discuss how patterns rooted in early childhood, such as anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment, influence not only our emotional connection but also our erotic lives. Jessica explains how couples often repeat familiar relational scripts, sometimes mistaking intensity or chaos for...

Welcome to Episode 464 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to be joined by Riana Milne, who speaks to me about emotional disconnection, communication breakdowns, and their impact on sexual desire in relationships.

In this episode, Riana and I explore how emotional safety and communication are at the heart of sexual connection. We discuss why unresolved conflicts and stress responses, like fight, flight, or freeze, can suppress desire, and how couples can learn to reconnect through conscious communication and emotional regulation. 

Riana Milne MA is a Certified, Global Life and Lo...

Welcome to Episode 463 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to be joined by, Hily Dating App's sexologist and sexuality educator, Dr. Mindy DeSeta, who speaks to me about flirting, sexting, and the art of digital consent in modern dating.

In this conversation, we discuss how to move from casual conversations to more intimate ones, without it feeling awkward or forced. Dr. DeSeta shares how flirting and sexting are forms of vulnerable communication, not just sexual expression, and why pacing, consent, and emotional awareness are vital. We also touch upon the nuances of read...