Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn

How is it we accomplish anything in our life? - how is it we see God working through us? - the answer is prayer.  And the one benefit above all for me in leaving porn has been the ability to pray with confidence!  Today we explore that concept through another sad lesson from Vern's automotive life lessons.

Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with?  Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your journey out of porn and towards a better life.  To find out more about star...

Recently Vern learned a valuable lesson from a car "event" on his trip back from a family vacation.  Of course never one to waste a good story, Vern applies what he learned to our recovery and why your porn recovery needs an Alternator?

Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with?  Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your journey out of porn and towards a better life.  To find out more about starting groups email him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com

In addition, If you...

I heard a podcast recently that included a quote that I thought "wow - does that ever hold true for us in recovery"  Today on finding traction I share that quote - and yes I bury the lead!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue back...

What does Christopher Nolan's retelling of the Greek Tale the Odyssey teach us about the porn recovery journey?  In this episode Vern reflects on his recovery thoughts from the movie.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invi...

Do you want to grow up before you grow old.  In this episode my friend and therapist Caleb discuss his journey out of porn and his insights on growing up through the story of Peter Pan.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

What does Peter Pan have to do with being a porn user - from lost boy to lost years - my Therapist friend Caleb discusses the difference between being child-like and being child-ish.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.cir...

Most everyone who has struggled and fallen when it comes to porn will be familiar and drawn to Psalm 51 - David's Psalm of Confession.  In that Psalm David cries out for a new willing heart.  In this episode Vern recalls how important that prayer has been to him on his journey out of porn to experience the better things God has for us.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are...

When I talk to guys about their journey out of porn they often remember how significant it was the first time they reached out to someone for help.  Today we talk about that experience and I explain how a phone (zoom) call would look and feel like as you take a step like that.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on...

For most guys, the porn recovery journey does not represent a straight line but is more like a series of plateaus and tipping points. In this episode Vern explores why we hit plateaus (resistant points) and how new tipping points can further the sucess we are finding in our recovery.

To download a copy of the diagram Vern refers to in this episode signp for the free circle learning app below.  If you are already on Vern's circle learning app - you can find it under Free Resources.

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c...

In this episode Vern explores how porn affects our ability to grow older with the wife of our youth.  In case you didn't realize it, you get older every year!  Is porn robbing your ability to grow older and still be contented with your wife who is also growing older?


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web brow...

It is not uncommon to get off to such a great start in our recovery journey but then find ourselves stalling out or "losing traction".  In this episode Vern talks about some ways to get your recovery back on track if that is what you are experiencing.


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  down...

Today Vern shares an inspiring couple of bible verses that have recently encouraged him on his recovery journey and makes up his own new verse!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a...

What do you do when you get bored?  What do you do when you want to just "kill some time".  In this episode Vern talks about how being unskillful in this area often leads us to negative results and some ways to "redeem this time" (or at least make it less problematic!)

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web...

When porn is mentioned in media it is often joked about or minimized.  Now and again a serious article appears that actually describes the tsunami type effects it is having on people.  Today I want to read an article which focuses on these effects - especially in regard to young men.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web brow...

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9fa2da045d969987b45464bf0-f9c81a7a-030e-4efe-b164-86d10b099404

If privacy is of concern to you - simply use...

Hard to believe its been 200 Episodes of Finding Traction!  In this episode various men share about podcasts and lessons (from the Finding Traction course) that have been helpful in their recovery - here's to the next 200 episodes!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

Are you able to see images in your mind?  Do you struggle with fantasy as a result of carrying your own porn library betweeen your ears?  In this episode Vern talks about differences between people around these questions and how it effects our strategies of recovery?

Here is the link to the TED talk that Vern references

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojttMNOW6zM&t=1s

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the...

Do you ever think you may be a pervert or used that term to describe someone else?  In this episode Vern explores that term particularly in reference to the describe how big of a role sex plays in your thinking and behavior.  A diagram of this talk can be found on the circle learning app under free resources.  To access this diagram use the information below.


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get...

Many men get into recovery and eventually start asking the question "How did I get here?"  One of the things that begins to crop up are questions around their formative years.  One of the books that has been so helpful for Vern and the men in his alumni groups is the book "From Broken Boy to Mended Man" Today Vern is thrilled to be able to interview the author of that book - Dr. Patrick Morley.

Here is a link to Dr. Morleys resources  https://patrickmorley.com/

If you want to get access to a host of...

In the last episode we talked about the statement that "Arousal is not something that happens to us but something we engage with".  In this episode Vern talks about why that sometimes doesn't feel true and how we need to move from passive mode to active mode when it comes to experiencing arousal

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on you...

Today I lean on a bit of my bible teaching background to share some insights from the book of Romans - in fact two "triplets" which encourage me that this pathway of recovery of porn is good - not in fact it is REALLY good!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app...

One of my recovery heroes (and recovery friends) is Matt Dobschuetz.  I recently heard a great episode on porn free radio where he spoke about being porn free for 15 years.  I loved it so much I wanted him to come on the podcast and talk a bit more about some of the concepts he shared.

Here is the link to the episode on his  podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/365-the-one-thing-that-made-15-years-porn-free-possible/id872329779?i=1000745328888

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up...

Matt Dobschuetz is both one of my recovery heroes as well as a recovery friend.  Recently I listened to an amazing podcast he did on Porn Free Radio (see link below) where he spoke about one of the key components he practiced in getting to 15 years porn free.  I thought I needed to have him on the podcast and explore a bit more of some of the concepts he shared on that podcast. Here's Matt!

Here's a link to Matt's most recent episode

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/365-the-one-thing-that-made-15-years-porn-free-possible/id872329779?i=1000745328888


If...

Recently I heard some interesting information about the benefits of taking drugs like Ozempic and what happens when you stop.  It got me thinking about all sorts of interesting parallels with our recovery journey from embedded porn use.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue back...

What do people like Bill Buckner, Steve Smith, Scott Norwood, Andres Escobar, Steven Gerrard, and Tyler Loop have in common.  They are all professional athletes who made major screwups that cost their team success - in front of millions of people.

Most of us won't have that level of public screwups but the question is how do we learn from our mistakes - our screwups - our relapses - in this episdoe Vern discusses our response to having our version of "our worst day"

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery r...

As you head into 2026 - rather than looking at the whole year why don’t you start with one day - one day at a time! The following is a simple exercise you can do daily to be proactive in your day and set yourself up for the best day possible!

To download the worksheet for this episode follow the instructions for the learning platform circle below.  (the worksheet will be found under "Free Resources")


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for...

There are a number of challenging seasons of life where porn can re- emerge from the corners of our life.  One of these seasons is the season of midlife where we begin to re-evaluate (often negatively) some of the decisions we have made and the places we find ourselfs.  In this episode Vern talks about his own experience in this season and gives pointers on how to navigate through this seasn and come out the other side successfully.


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up...

When a lot of us started out on this porn recovery journey we had a very limited view of what it was to be porn free?  In this episode Vern talks about the expanding understanding that he underwent and that a lot of guys go through as they move toward greater freedom in their life.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the lin...

When a lot of us started out on this porn recovery journey we had a very limited view of what it was to be porn free?  In this episode Vern talks about the expanding understanding that he underwent and that a lot of guys go through as they move toward greater freedom in their life.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the lin...

Passion is good - purpose is better.  In this episode Vern talks about a change he has made to how people checkin their weeks and why connecting people with their purpose is a better metric than helping (often unsuccessfully) men find something they are passionate about.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circ...

In this episode, Vern is joined by his Australian buddy Matt who talks about inside out recovery.

In a desire for a wholistic model of behavior change, it is necessary to recognize that the most sustainable version of change comes from a deep sense of belonging which informs our beliefs.  Out of that core, comes deep lasting change that can stand the test of time.


If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to...

There is a lot written these days about the role of dopamine in our addictive struggle with porn.  One of the books "Dopamnine Nation" talks a lot about dopamine and seems to give some fairly straightword system to hack the system of recovery.  In this episode we talk about how this book and a pure "dopamine approach" can be helpful in our recovery and where it presents an incomplete picture in regards to the process of recovery.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Ve...

Last week we popped the baloon that said that the recovery journey is simple or quick.  We spoke about how long it takes to break a habit in a sustained way.  Today we talk about some of the highlights we will experience on a guided tour away from porn.  This guided tour explains the roadblocks we need to overcome, what are the challenges we face, and what are the benefits we will experience along the way.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Cir...

There are a lot of claims on the internet about helping you quite porn in just a few weeks.  Sounds great - right?  In this episode Vern takes a bit of a deeper dive into the real issues (and the amount of time) that is usually needed to quit a compulsive embedded behavior such as porn.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the...

One of the things I have noticed in working with guys who struggle with porn is - - they also struggle with procrastination.  In this episode we look at this connection and discuss some simple strategies to overcome compulsive procrastination!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you  download the circle app) - (white circle on a bl...

The metaphor of war is used a lot in recovery for the reason that it often feels like we are in a battle!! In this episode Vern talks about principles of warfare and applies them to our recovery battle.

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?in...

One of the forerunners of the porn recovery field is Nate Larken.  His book - Samson and the Pirate Monks is a classic read for anybody starting out on this journey.  Today I am pleased to have Nate on the podcast as he talks about his recovery journey, missteps along the way, and how he wants the end of his recovery journey to be remembered.  He also shares information on the Samson societies that he has started around the world to give men a safe place to come and talk about their struggles.

To find out more about the...

A relapse is always possible but never inevitable.  There are inescapable ripples that follow a relapse but how do we prevent a slip from becoming a slide!  In this episode we discuss how to get back on track when we fall off the wagon!

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.  Just use the following link to get started.  if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)

http...

In this third and final episode of Marriage Hacks - Vern explores some of the ways to explore why you hit a wall on certain topics with you partner as well as the idea of recognizing when you have a filter on that you need to communicate with your spouse.  Your marriage is not your recovery but working towards a better marriage can help in reducing the stress and friction in your daily life that often leads you to want to act our or use escape behaviors.

If you want to get access to a host of free r...

It seems that deep fakes are everywhere these days. My question for you is this - are you a deep fake?  Are you a person with a deep disconnect between the public and private you.  In this Episode I talk about how that happens and how to experience the benefits of living a life of integrity.

Todays episode is summarized in a diagram that you can find on the Circle learning platform. So...

If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle le...