The Psychology of your 20s

We're talking about reputation. On a fundamental level, our reputations are a signal of our qualities that make us worth associating with, and we tend to spend a large amount of time ruminating and even obsessing over what others think of us. In this episode, we explore why we need reputations as social creatures, understand why we can misinterpret others’ reputations, and think about what we can do to repair a bad reputation. 

We unpack: 
• Where our reputations come from
• Why two people can view the same person so differently 
• The halo effect and how appeara...

I was recently diagnosed with PMOS, and with that came a lot of questions: why is my body like this, what caused it, will I be able to have kids, how can I fix it? There's a lot of information (and misinformation) online, so today I decided to sit down with an expert to ask all my burning questions on this condition. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Dr Hazel Wallace is a medical doctor, registered associate nutritionist, women's health expert, author and founder of the platform, The Food Medic. In this episode, we discuss: 

The term “Stockholm Syndrome” is used to explain why someone might defend, protect, or feel attached to a person who has harmed them - but why does this happen? In this bonus episode, we explore where the term came from, some famous cases, and how the mind functions to keep us safe.

We explore:
•        The 1973 bank robbery
•        Famous cases linked to Stockholm syndrome
•        The role of appeasement
•        How it relates to trauma bonding
•        Why dependence breeds attachment
•        How those experiencing Stockholm syndrome are supported

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg<...

Tips for nervous system regulation are everywhere right now - from breathwork and cold plunges to conversations about burnout, anxiety, and trauma. But what does it actually mean to be regulated, and are we sometimes turning healing into another thing to obsess over? In this episode, we take a grounded, research-informed look at what your nervous system is really trying to do, why fight-or-flight is not the enemy, and how stress, trauma, lifestyle, and hypersensitivity can shape the way we feel in our bodies.

We explore:
•        What the window of tolerance can teach us about overwhelm and sh...

Angel numbers have a way of showing up just when we need them. 111 symbolises new beginnings. 444 means divine protection. Why does our mind pay such close attention to these numbers, what is the history, and what is their impact from a psychological standpoint? In today's episode, we break down:

I think we all instinctively know if we find someone interesting… or not. But how can we cultivate the skills of being interesting to others? In this episode, we break down the science behind what makes people interesting, talk about some easy things we can all do to tap into what already makes us unique, and focus on one of life’s greatest conversational hacks - learning how to be truly interested in others. 

We explore: 
• Why we all love interesting people 
• How ‘digital saturation’ is making us more bored, and boring
• The importance of asking open-en...

If anyone tells you that they’re not even a little bit insecure, they’re lying, in denial, or both. It’s a fact of life that we all feel insecure at times - about how we look, behave, our achievements, and whether we are liked by others. In this episode, we examine the psychology behind common insecurities, recognise how we can be our own worst enemies, and consider the ways we can come to accept that we are all flawed, and might not actually need ‘fixing’. 

We unpack: 
• The surprising evolutionary benefits that come with insecurity
...

Uncertainty is the defining emotion of our 20s. Career paths, relationships, identity, purpose ... so much of this decade is marked by not knowing. Does that have to be as uncomfortable as we think it does? In today’s episode, we unpack the psychology of uncertainty: why our brains fear it, how it triggers anxiety and avoidance, and why trying to “figure it all out” might be doing more harm than good.

We explore:

Over the past 6 months I've been asking people: what is the biggest mistake you made in your 20s? I've heard from over 5'000 people, some of them 21, some of them 80 and I have combined all their responses to make the ultimate list of the 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s, for the people, by the people. 

From love, to career, to finances, going to college, friendship, taking risks: today we talk through the most common responses we received and what we can learn from these moments and regrets. Listen now! 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

The life of the highly sensitive person is often misunderstood. Highly sensitive aren't just people who cry too much or get overwhelmed, take things too personally: they actually take in so much of the world that it can be too much. They feel everything, from joy to sadness, so immediately and profoundly. They are also so in tune with the emotions of all those around them that sometimes it can be too much. Today we break down the psychology of the highly sensitive person, including: 

You know when someone seems to breeze through life, can approach any social situation and challenge with such self-assured confidence? It seems innate - something they were born with. But what if that's not true? What if, instead of a fixed personal trait, confidence is actually a set of learnable abilities, a dynamic skill that anyone can cultivate, sharpen, and ultimately master? Today, we’re challenging the notion that confidence is a trait, and instead something you build.

Things we discuss:

Sigmund Freud is one of the most famous and contested names in psychology. Often reduced to couches, cigars, dreams, sex, and blaming everything on your mother, Freud’s real story is much more complicated. In this bonus episode, we take a look at who Freud actually was - his medical background, the development of his method, and why his views are so context specific.

We explore:
• The development of free association 
• The role of dreams and transference
• Defence mechanisms and the unconscious
• The structural model of the human psyche
• Challenges to his theory
• F...

Productivity advice often tells us to push harder, wake up earlier, and squeeze more out of every hour. But in this episode, we take a different approach. Instead of treating productivity like a test of willpower, we look at the psychology behind focus, procrastination, energy, motivation, and rest - and why working with your brain is usually more effective than trying to bully it into action.

We explore 7 tips for productivity, including:
• How small wins can create momentum
• Why the hardest task often needs to come first
• How to work with your natural energy patter...

TW: Discussions of miscarriage/pregnancy

Grace Beverley is a founder, an entrepreneur, and a seasoned professional when it comes to pursuing the ideas your have, but also knowing when to slow down, recover from burnout and let yourself be vulnerable. 

In today's episode we discuss her journey from studying music at Oxford to launching over five businesses, and her next chapter as a parent. We talk about: 

We all know that therapy is amazing, in fact it’s life-changing for many people. But what does therapy actually do? And what makes a good therapist? 

In today’s episode we’re joined by Dr Sandra Espinoza, Associate Professor of the Couple and Family Therapy Program at Alliant University. Our discussion includes: 

At some point in most of our lives, most of us have felt that we are ‘too much’. We might feel that we are too loud, have too many opinions, are too extroverted, too needy, or generally take up too much emotional ‘space’. In this episode, we explore what this feels like when it bleeds into our personal and professional lives, the impact of suppressing emotions upon our immune system, and look at some methods to unlearn and reconfigure our relationship with the ‘too much’ label.

We unpack: 
• Why society likes to shame people who are confident and o...

In many ways, sibling rivalry is an integral part of growing up in a multiple-child household – the arguments, the jealousy, the competition. But as we explore in this episode, those sibling dynamics often don’t stop in childhood, but actually following us into our 20s and adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves, relate to our families, and how we carry old roles. 

We explore:
•        Why a level of rivalry is developmentally expected
•        The evolutionary perspective on resource competition
•        The role of birth order and family roles
•        How sibling rivalry can transpire in adulthood
•        How to begin ackn...

There comes a point in all of our lives where we realise we've outgrown who we used to be. Sometimes it happens all at once, due to a breakup, a move, a loss, or a major life change. Other times (most of the time), it's much quieter.  As painful as that can feel, it's also one of the clearest signs that you're evolving.

In this episode, we explore the psychology of outgrowing your old life, why change can feel so much like grief, and how to let go of the past without fearing the future.

W...

TW: Discussions of suicide.

This week, I'm joined by mental health campaigner Ben West for one of the most moving conversations we've ever had on the show. At 18, Ben lost his brother to suicide. He has taken that experience and decided to change the lives of thousands, if not millions with his 'Reasons to Stay' campaign. 

In this episode we discuss:

Giving you all an update on my life and my future in London. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us feel that our attention spans are nothing like they used to be. So many of us can recall a time when we would read books for hours with ease, concentrate for hours, focus on a movie without going on our phone. But not any more.

In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind our dwindling attention spans, via the consumption of endless content, task switching, lack of sleep and more. But there’s hope - we also look at practical ways that we can all work on retraining our brains towards healthier, more sustainable an...

What might be seen as a ‘boring’ life is often just a life that wouldn’t be as popular on Instagram. In a world that glamorises chaos, spontaneity and constant stimulation, we need to create lives that truly nourish us, provide safety, and align with who we really are. In this episode, we explore the psychology behind why so many of us begin craving calm as we get older, why that can feel oddly threatening, and why slowing down may be one of the best things we can do for our brains.

We explore:
•        Why many of us start...

When we go for a job interview, it can feel as if our entire existence is being judged. It can come down to the feeling of someone else getting to call the shots on whether we are intellectually competent at best, or personally desirable at worst. In this episode, we’ll explore why job interviews can feel so stressful, identify why positive first impressions are vital, and discuss some psychological hacks to help us nail them. 

We explore:

• How job interviews trigger our need for social approval 
• The Yerkes-Dodson Law, or how excessive pressure can make...

Living with a chronic illness in your 20s can feel like carrying an invisible weight that nobody else can see. Beyond the hospital appointments, surgeries, medications and diagnoses, there is a hidden psychological burden: the anxiety, grief, uncertainty, identity struggles and resilience required to keep moving forward when your body feels beyond your control.

In this week's episode, I sit down with content creator, advocate and broadcaster Nikki Lilly to discuss what it's really like growing up with a rare medical condition, navigating facial differences, online bullying, and building a meaningful life despite constant uncertainty.

...

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is one of the most famous theories in psychology. We've all seen the pyramid. We've all been told that before we can become our best selves, we need to climb through five levels of human needs, from food and safety all the way to self-actualisation. But what if that's not actually what Maslow believed?

In this bonus episode, as part of our series myth-busting psychology, we're uncovering the surprising truth behind one of psychology's most iconic ideas, including:

Most of us will spend the majority of our adult lives working. So why does the traditional 9–5 leave so many people feeling exhausted, trapped, unfulfilled, or quietly wondering: is this really it?

In this episode, we explore the psychology behind why the 9–5 can feel so unnatural for some people, why work often becomes the centre of our identity, and what to do when the life you've been told should make you happy simply doesn't.

This includes:

Superstitions can seem irrational on the surface, but beneath them is something incredibly human - the need for meaning, comfort, and a sense of control in an uncertain world. In this episode, we explore the psychology of superstition - why the mind creates these beliefs, why they can feel so reassuring, and what they reveal about anxiety, ritual, hope, and the stories we inherit.

We explore:
•        Historical origins of common superstitions
•        The role of pattern recognition and gut feelings
•        How rituals soothe anxiety and create a sense of certainty
•        When superstitions become self-fulfilling and shape performance

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including:

We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviour still in tact. Whether it's quitting smoking, exercising more, wanting to eat healthier, sleep better, stop gossiping, be a better partner; bad habits usually all have the same psychology. 

In today's episode we invited on Harvard-trained behavioural scientist & BCG Managing Director, Julia Dhar, to give us the step by step guide to changing bad habits. We talk about: 

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our hobbies. Why is that, and what is the consequence?In today's episode we break down the psychology of why our hobbies are so important, including: 

We’re all familiar with the story of the boy who wouldn’t grow up: Peter Pan. But when someone displays similar traits in real life - issues with commitment, responsibilities, and adulting in general - they might be experiencing what’s referred to as Peter Pan Syndrome. In this episode, we break down the psychology of Peter Pan Syndrome, including why it happens, the frustration it causes those in its orbit, and how to learn to grow up - at last.

We unpack: 
• The key characteristics of Peter Pan Syndrome
• Why being coddled or never disci...

Being your own harshest critic can feel productive, protective, even familiar, but over time, it becomes less of a motivator and more of a cage. In this episode, we explore the psychology of self-hatred - where it begins, how it becomes a deeply ingrained, and what it actually steals from us over time. 

We explore:

•        How early experiences shape the inner critic
•        Why self-hatred can feel protective
•        The myth of cruelty as a motivator
•        The neural pattern of self-hatred
•        The role of self sabotaging
•        6 practical tips to build a better relationship with yourself

Wat...

Weed can be relaxing, funny, creative, and social - until it isn’t. In this episode, we look at what weed is actually doing in the brain, why it can calm one person and overwhelm another, and how it can change from something enjoyable into something we start leaning on for out emotional wellbeing.

We explore:
•        What actually happens to our brains when we’re high
•        What THC and CBD actually are, and how they differ
•        Why weed can make some people anxious, hungry, or more creative
•        When weed becomes less about fun and more about coping, avoid...

When we’re detached from our emotions, things can feel a little… flat. But though our brain might be trying to protect us from harm, emotionally detaching stops us from being able to appreciate the true richness of life. In this episode, we’ll unpack why emotional blunting occurs, the ways we might be avoiding our true emotions, and look at some ways to actually start to process your emotions.

We explore: 
• Why we’re bad at feeling what we’re feeling 
• The hidden strategies we use to push our emotions away 
• How maladaptive coping mechanisms c...

Endless studies show that the strength of our relationships is the biggest indicator for our happiness and wellbeing. So when we fall out with a friend, it can feel absolutely devastating, and leave us wondering how to repair and reconnect. In this episode, we explore why friendship break-ups can be more painful than romantic ones, how our ego gets in the way of reconnecting, and ways that we can rebuild a fractured friendship.

We explore: 
• The different types of friendship fallouts
• Why avoiding conflict can actually be a form of control 
• How to reach out afte...

In our 20s, we can feel intense pressure to be extraordinary, to stand head and shoulders above the pack, to thrive across all aspects of our life. But when we put pressure on ourselves to be extraordinary, we can fall victim to social comparison, lose sight of what we really want, and experience long-term feelings of inadequacy. In this episode, unpack where the pressure to be extraordinary comes from, and reframe our thinking towards a healthier, more balanced approach.

We explore: 
• How social media creates an ‘artificial average’, making us feel inadequate 
• Why being gifted as a child...

Anxiety has a way of making ordinary moments feel life-or-death. A simple interaction can feel significant, a passing thought can spiral into catastrophe, and your body can react as if something is deeply wrong - even when rationally you know you’re probably okay. In this episode, we get into the neuroscience behind anxiety - why your brain becomes obsessed with certain thoughts, why false alarms feel so convincing, and what actually helps when you want to feel less trapped inside your own mind.

We explore: 
•        Why anxiety feels so intense and urgent
•        Our physical and emotional r...

Most people would know the term: dopamine. It's the world's most famous neurotransmitter, known for it's role in happiness and pleasure. What if I told you, most of us have it all wrong. In today's episode we break down the secret history and psychology of dopamine, including: 

Happy listening! 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Fol...

When we’re ‘in a funk’, we might feel that things just aren’t going right for us, we can’t catch a break, and that life generally feels pretty flat. What’s more, we can tend to look at the world through a negative lens - which makes things worse. 

In this episode, we look at why we get stuck in a funk, how our approach to fix it can lead us astray, and how we can get ourselves out of one by honouring our soul needs, reconnecting with nature, and more.

We unpack:
• The key...

It’s easy to believe that being liked by as many people as possible is a positive attribute. But when we chase this, we risk compromising our sense of identity, alienating ourselves from others, and being confused and burnt out by a string of inauthentic connections. In this episode, we examine what drives us to people please, acknowledge our need for human connection, and learn to recognise how to shift unhealthy patterns towards healthier, self-soothing ones.

We explore: 
• What drives our need to belong
• The science behind why others don’t think about us as much as w...