The Psychology of your 20s

Why do some people seem to move from relationship to relationship with barely any time in between, and why does being single feel almost impossible for them? In this bonus episode, we’re diving into the psychology behind relationship hopping (aka serial monogamy) and what’s really happening when someone craves commitment quickly, struggles with time alone, or keeps repeating the same cycle with different partners.

We explore:
•        The role of attachment in serial monogamy
•        Why artificial closeness is so appealing
•        The pull of the infatuation cycle
•        The brain chemistry of love, reward and attachment
•        W...

Content note: This episode includes discussions of exercise, dieting, weight loss and body image.

How do you learn to love exercise when it has always felt like punishment? In today’s more personal episode, I’m sharing how I completely changed my relationship with movement over the past three years, from barely moving to running half marathons and genuinely enjoying the gym.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We discuss:

Why does dancing in a crowd feel so good? What is the emotional allure of the dance floor, the club scene, the music? Today, we’re exploring the psychology of clubbing, from the physiological rush of a beat drop to the role it plays in making the most of our 20s.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We discuss:

Is a 'spark' all that it takes to be compatible in the long-term? What about sharing the same interests, personality or sense of humour? Or is it something more deep and intangible? In today’s episode, we explore what ACTUALLY makes two people right for each other, and why the things that draw us together aren’t always the things that keep us together.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We discuss:

Chemistry versus long-term compatibility

Why shared values matter more than shared hobbies

The importance of feeling understood, appreciated and resp...

Why is there so much pressure for your wedding to be the best day of your life? And what happens when that pressure gets in the way of actually enjoying it? Today, we’re unpacking the psychology of weddings: the expectations, money, family dynamics and friendship tensions that come with saying “I do”.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:

Why the “perfect wedding” can leave us feeling disappointed

How weddings became such extravagant events

Social media, comparison and the pressure to spend more

The surprising relationship between wedding spe...

Do you really have a love language? And does learning your partner’s actually make your relationship better? In this bonus episode of our debunking psychology series, we unpack the truth behind one of the most popular ideas in modern dating. We explore:

Where the five love languages came from and their religious roots

The controversial advice in Gary Chapman’s original book

What the research actually says about love languages and relationship satisfaction

Why lasting love might need a “balanced diet” of affection

Partner responsiveness and what it means to...

We blush, we look away, we replay the moment for hours (or years) after it happened, becoming convinced that everyone noticed far more than they probably did. Embarrassment is an interesting and complex emotion, but it can help us recognise social expectations and communicate how our behaviour affects others.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
•        When we first develop the capacity to feel embarrassed
•        Why we blush and the role of embarrassment in trust
•        Why some of us feel embarrassment more than others
•        The role of rumination 
•        The psychological and social role of embarrassment 

Brain fog is so much more than just feeling tired. It's that frustrating feeling of knowing what you want to say or do, but your brain simply won't cooperate. And whilst it's incredibly common, we're only just beginning to understand what actually causes it.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

In today's episode, we're breaking down the fascinating new research behind brain fog, including:

The three main causes of brain fog, from physical depletion to cognitive overload and neurological disruption

Why chronic stress, anxiety and mental load can leave your brain feeling exhausted<...

Does the taxi cab theory actually explain why some people suddenly become ready to settle down, or is it just another dating myth?

In this episode, we’re breaking down the psychology behind the infamous, Sex and The City taxi cab theory and asking whether timing really can determine who we end up with. We explore commitment readiness, the social clock, why our relationship priorities change as we age, and the painful psychology of watching someone give their next partner everything they refused to give you.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We discuss:

...

How much of your behaviour is really “you” - and how much has been shaped by the environments around you? In this episode, we explore how childhood, relationships, social expectations, habits and physical spaces can influence the way we think, feel and behave. From nervous-system responses and beliefs about what is possible for us, to the people we pursue, the habits we repeat and the versions of ourselves that present in different places, we look at the psychology of how environments programme our behaviour.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:
●        What our ‘environment’ can include
●  ...

In this bonus episode, we’re looking at the placebo effect - what it is, how it became an important part of medical research, and why an inactive treatment can sometimes produce genuine changes how we feel, and what this tells us about the relationship between the brain, body and experience of receiving care.

The FULL Debunking Psychology playlist: HERE 

We explore:
•        How placebos became an important part of scientific research
•        Some of the earliest placebo experiments
•        Why our expectations can change the way we experience symptoms
•        Whether the placebo effect produces real, biological c...

From abusive MLM’s and wellness programs to doomsday sects and UFO religions, we’re all fascinated by cults. Their mystery offers us a way to explore the darkest recesses of human behaviour, while remaining seemingly out of their reach. But how do we actually define a cult? 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

In this episode, we look at popular examples of cults, understand how they’re organised and recruit followers, and examine what makes some people so vulnerable to joining. We unpack: 

• How a cult is defined, featuring the BITE model of authoritarian control

In our 20s, we’re all vulnerable to feeling that we’re falling behind. Whether it be chasing the perfect job, relationship, friends, living situation, trip abroad, or something else, we’re led to believe that there’s a certain window of time that we should be achieving certain milestones within. In this episode, we unpack: 

• Why social media makes us compare ourselves with ‘the best’
• The figures behind what people in their 20s really have - and don’t 
• How milestone anxiety and the social clock make us panic
• How we can reframe envy as a useful compass...

The Stanford Prison Experiment is one of the most famous studies in psychology, but also one of the most controversial. In this bonus episode, we look at what actually happened in the basement of Stanford University in 1971.

We explore:

The Debunking...

If I could sit down with my 21-year-old self, there are a few things I would definitely want to say. Today, I'm going to say them, like 'don't even THINK about moving in with that guy, use your savings account, care less about grades' and a few more. I also asked you guys, the listeners, about your biggest regrets from your early 20s so we can all learn from each other (how nice is that).

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We discuss:

Many of us are conditioned to believe that being described as kind, nice, accommodating and generous are the key to overall happiness. But when these traits veer into Good Girl Syndrome, we can be left with a pathological need to please others, be hypervigilant towards others’ emotions, and ultimately suppress how we really feel. In this episode, we explore the origins of Good Girl Syndrome, understand the mental and physical cost of emotional suppression, and learn how to challenge this early social conditioning. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We unpack:

Ambition feels like my entire personality and I'm trying to fix that. Who are we beyond our ambition? In a world that only cares about success, output and productivity, what do we feel like we'll lose when we slow down?

Watch on Netflix: HERE

In this episode I explore: 

If you can relate, this is th...

Stress has a reputation for burning us out, torching our relationships and even causing our lives to end prematurely. But not all stress is created equal. In this episode, we explore the difference between eustress - good stress - and distress, understand why our experience of stress is rooted in our perception of it, and understand how we can harness stress as a powerful force for motivation, energy and well-being. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We unpack: 
• The difference between eustress - good stress - and distress
• Why avoiding stress can actually cause cognitive declin...

We treat our memories like a reliable recording of the past. We remember what happened, how we felt, where we were, and what was said. But what if our account is more like a subjective recollection of events? In this episode, we explore the concept of false memories – how they form, why this matters in our everyday lives, and their more serious potential impacts.

We explore:
•        The cognitive mechanisms behind false memories
•        The misinformation effect and the car crash study
•        Why our memories are open to imagination, repetition and social influence
•        Potential consequences of false memories in news...

Why does feeling sad sometimes feel... so good? Whether it’s putting on the saddest song you know, rewatching a movie that always makes you cry, indulging in a little self-pity or finally letting yourself have a good sob, there is something strangely satisfying about sadness. And psychology may be able to explain why.

In this episode, we explore the surprising psychological value of sadness, including:

It’s a known fact that time moves faster as we get older, but what does this really mean, and can we slow it down? In this episode, we’re going to try to make sense of why flies as we enter our 20s - from memory, to novelty, eye movements and the effects of COVID. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We explore:

The Oedipus complex is one of Freud’s most renowned and shocking ideas. In this episode, we dive into the origins of the theory and whether anything really remains once its gendered assumptions and controversial sexual claims are stripped away.

We explore:
- How the Greek tragedy of Oedipus inspired Freud’s theory
- What Freud meant by unconscious childhood desire and parental rivalry
- The importance of the phallic stage
- How Freud believed it was resolved - and what fixation was thought to mean for adulthood
- His problematic gendered idea...

There are a surprising number of myths and misconceptions about the brain, particularly with regards to its development in our 20s. In this episode, we unpack a number of surprising facts and studies about the brain so that we can in turn better understand how to make the most of our 20s. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

We unpack: 
• The science of neuroplasticity and how our brain can rewire itself 
• Why, on a cognitive level, a broken heart may not be so different from a broken arm
• How much of our brains we really us...

The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it’s quite the opposite. In this episode, we explore why we resist being alone - but why learning to do so is psychologically positive, and can even be a superpower.

Watch on Netflix: HERE

• Why we culturally and socially villainise solitude
• How constantly being online interrupts our ability to be truly alone 
• The creative and emotion...

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychological language can help us make sense of relationships, it can also become a way to avoid the much harder truth - sometimes we simply don’t know yet. In this episode we look at why overanalysing feels so reassuring, especially when we have been hurt before, and how the search for hidden meaning can distract us from direct communication, being present, and the person actually in front of u...

In this episode, we explore the psychology of the quarter life reinvention: the period that can come after the confusion, uncertainty and identity crisis of our early and mid-20s, when things finally begin to fall into place. We look at how the quarter life crisis can transform us, the stages we move through, and why sometimes everything has to fall apart before we can rebuild a life that feels more like our own.

We explore:
• The difference between a quarter life crisis and a quarter life reinvention
• The ‘locked in’ and ‘locked out’ forms of the quart...

What is the shadow self? And how do we meet ours? In today's episode we explore what it means to get curious about the shadow parts of ourselves. We take a grounded look at shadow work - where the idea came from, the layers of our psyche, and how the repressed parts of ourselves show up. 

We explore:
•        What Jung meant by the shadow and the persona
•        How the dark or disowned parts of ourselves can develop
•        Why anger, neediness, ambition, or confidence can feel uncomfortable to acknowledge
•        The role of projection, triggers and repeated patterns
...

We're talking about reputation. On a fundamental level, our reputations are a signal of our qualities that make us worth associating with, and we tend to spend a large amount of time ruminating and even obsessing over what others think of us. In this episode, we explore why we need reputations as social creatures, understand why we can misinterpret others’ reputations, and think about what we can do to repair a bad reputation. 

We unpack: 
• Where our reputations come from
• Why two people can view the same person so differently 
• The halo effect and how appeara...

I was recently diagnosed with PMOS, and with that came a lot of questions: why is my body like this, what caused it, will I be able to have kids, how can I fix it? There's a lot of information (and misinformation) online, so today I decided to sit down with an expert to ask all my burning questions on this condition. 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Dr Hazel Wallace is a medical doctor, registered associate nutritionist, women's health expert, author and founder of the platform, The Food Medic. In this episode, we discuss: 

The term “Stockholm Syndrome” is used to explain why someone might defend, protect, or feel attached to a person who has harmed them - but why does this happen? In this bonus episode, we explore where the term came from, some famous cases, and how the mind functions to keep us safe.

We explore:
•        The 1973 bank robbery
•        Famous cases linked to Stockholm syndrome
•        The role of appeasement
•        How it relates to trauma bonding
•        Why dependence breeds attachment
•        How those experiencing Stockholm syndrome are supported

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg<...

Tips for nervous system regulation are everywhere right now - from breathwork and cold plunges to conversations about burnout, anxiety, and trauma. But what does it actually mean to be regulated, and are we sometimes turning healing into another thing to obsess over? In this episode, we take a grounded, research-informed look at what your nervous system is really trying to do, why fight-or-flight is not the enemy, and how stress, trauma, lifestyle, and hypersensitivity can shape the way we feel in our bodies.

We explore:
•        What the window of tolerance can teach us about overwhelm and sh...

Angel numbers have a way of showing up just when we need them. 111 symbolises new beginnings. 444 means divine protection. Why does our mind pay such close attention to these numbers, what is the history, and what is their impact from a psychological standpoint? In today's episode, we break down:

I think we all instinctively know if we find someone interesting… or not. But how can we cultivate the skills of being interesting to others? In this episode, we break down the science behind what makes people interesting, talk about some easy things we can all do to tap into what already makes us unique, and focus on one of life’s greatest conversational hacks - learning how to be truly interested in others. 

We explore: 
• Why we all love interesting people 
• How ‘digital saturation’ is making us more bored, and boring
• The importance of asking open-en...

If anyone tells you that they’re not even a little bit insecure, they’re lying, in denial, or both. It’s a fact of life that we all feel insecure at times - about how we look, behave, our achievements, and whether we are liked by others. In this episode, we examine the psychology behind common insecurities, recognise how we can be our own worst enemies, and consider the ways we can come to accept that we are all flawed, and might not actually need ‘fixing’. 

We unpack: 
• The surprising evolutionary benefits that come with insecurity
...

Uncertainty is the defining emotion of our 20s. Career paths, relationships, identity, purpose ... so much of this decade is marked by not knowing. Does that have to be as uncomfortable as we think it does? In today’s episode, we unpack the psychology of uncertainty: why our brains fear it, how it triggers anxiety and avoidance, and why trying to “figure it all out” might be doing more harm than good.

We explore:

Over the past 6 months I've been asking people: what is the biggest mistake you made in your 20s? I've heard from over 5'000 people, some of them 21, some of them 80 and I have combined all their responses to make the ultimate list of the 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s, for the people, by the people. 

From love, to career, to finances, going to college, friendship, taking risks: today we talk through the most common responses we received and what we can learn from these moments and regrets. Listen now! 

Watch on Netflix: HERE

The life of the highly sensitive person is often misunderstood. Highly sensitive aren't just people who cry too much or get overwhelmed, take things too personally: they actually take in so much of the world that it can be too much. They feel everything, from joy to sadness, so immediately and profoundly. They are also so in tune with the emotions of all those around them that sometimes it can be too much. Today we break down the psychology of the highly sensitive person, including: 

You know when someone seems to breeze through life, can approach any social situation and challenge with such self-assured confidence? It seems innate - something they were born with. But what if that's not true? What if, instead of a fixed personal trait, confidence is actually a set of learnable abilities, a dynamic skill that anyone can cultivate, sharpen, and ultimately master? Today, we’re challenging the notion that confidence is a trait, and instead something you build.

Things we discuss:

Sigmund Freud is one of the most famous and contested names in psychology. Often reduced to couches, cigars, dreams, sex, and blaming everything on your mother, Freud’s real story is much more complicated. In this bonus episode, we take a look at who Freud actually was - his medical background, the development of his method, and why his views are so context specific.

We explore:
• The development of free association 
• The role of dreams and transference
• Defence mechanisms and the unconscious
• The structural model of the human psyche
• Challenges to his theory
• F...

Productivity advice often tells us to push harder, wake up earlier, and squeeze more out of every hour. But in this episode, we take a different approach. Instead of treating productivity like a test of willpower, we look at the psychology behind focus, procrastination, energy, motivation, and rest - and why working with your brain is usually more effective than trying to bully it into action.

We explore 7 tips for productivity, including:
• How small wins can create momentum
• Why the hardest task often needs to come first
• How to work with your natural energy patter...