Basic Snitches

This Patreon Archive episode gives us the gems of Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash, the inexpert casting of the missing characters from the films and the OTHER Magical Creatures Bracket with the Olivias!

In this Timed Turner we (re)visit the casting of characters - giving the few British actors who weren't in the films our attention. In case you haven't figured it out, we don't know what the fuck we're doing.

In this character deep dive we chat about all the Hogwarts professors from the series who didn't get their own deep dive episode! So if you missed McG, Dumble, Snape-a-Doodle or Hagrid, go back and catch those on previous episodes.

Here we give a lot of kudos to some under appreciated teachers - especially Madam Pompfrey, Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick. Oh, and definitely some love for Lupin.

For this bracket episode - what is the best magical plant in the Wizarding World???

Guys, some of these plants are STINKYYYY

In this fandom episode, we discuss the final film of the Fantastic beasts series. While definitely not perfect, we felt Secrets of Dumbledore was a huge improvement over Crimes of Grindelwald.

Even though this was originally meant to be five films, they do a fairly okay job of wrapping up whatever loose ends they can in this movie, but we have lots of critiques anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Teddy and Pickett are the MVPs of this series. We will not be accepting any arguments.

PATREON ARCHIVES - BEST OF GAMES II

Truly some of our best gems dug from Patreon - bonus appearances by Delia, Jean, AJ and Jen!

On this Timed Turner episode we talk about all the wizard stuff that we want in our real lives right now.

On today's episode we do a bit of a deep dive on the journey each of the Silver Trio take through the series. Starting with Ginny and all her badass ways, then Neville and his incredible growth through the books and ending with Luna and how solidly her presence heightens the second half of the series.

The Death Eater bracket is full of upsets but also zero surprises when it comes to Skinny Dick being immediately eliminated.

For this fandom episode we go on a little scavenger hunt on harrypotter.com

We also learn about birds.

Welcome to the Patreon Archives! This episode is filled with Screen Rant Rants dug from our vault!!!

Timed Turner: If Wizards Had TV what kinds of shows would they watch?

Spend 40(ish) minutes with us as we discuss what shows wizards would watch and what wizards would think about the things that we watch. We also come up with some really fun shows that wizards would have if they had TV.

For this character episode we dive into our favorite (terrible) spoiled little bully - Draco Malfoy. He's a pain in the ass, he's a whiney little bitch, he's suuuuper flawed...but he's way better than his dad (obviously).

BRACKET TIMEEEEE

This time it's best of Potions! As always, we have no standards for how we choose winners but hey, our podcast, our rules.

Well friends, we did it. We read HP fanfiction. On purpose. And it was... something 😬

But also read Cauterize by Lady Altair

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4152700/1/Cauterize

Quizzes from the Patreon archives...featuring all kinds of side quests (aka: talking about off topic stuff)

It's time for another GAME EPISODE 📣

For this episode we MASHed more of our favorite special guests and things get weird (not that that is anything unusual 🤷‍♀️)

Time for a Timed Tuner!!!

This week, the wheel decided that we would talk about the Harry Potter amusement parks! Tara shares her experience at Universal Studios in Florida and the conversation moves to the amusement parks we have here in Ohio. It's a fun one that just makes us wish we could afford to travel more 😂

In this character episode, Adam and Tara attempt to put together an accurate timeline of Voldy's life...it goes as well as expected.

It's time for our first bracket of season 9! In this episode, we discuss all of the characters that should have been in the movies and how important they each are.. And of course, because this is a bracket episode, we have to pick a winner.. who's it gonna be?

What is even happening???!?!?!!?

Unlike our happy little recap of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Crimes of Grindelwald is a rough watch for us. Kudos to the fantastic actors and the cinematography...and to the zouwu (and all the ways we mispronounce it).

Anyway, enjoy the longest recap ever on Basic Snitches... and the confusion...so. much. confused

Welcome to Basic Snitches, season 9! And happy holidays, Linda!

We're kicking off the season with a holiday game episode! Adam and Tara are playing classic Snitches games and getting into the holiday spirit!

Enjoy some classic BS games and welcome to season 9!!!

Here it is, folks...the final episode of season 8....all the missing pieces you didn't know you needed.... Are these outtakes ooky and spooky? Maybe. You'll just have to listen 😉

Oh, and we'll be back with SEASON 9 before you can miss us too much 😉

Next time you watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, play the CORRECT dialogue with this episode 😁

Thank you to Peggy, Victoria, Jean and Dan for joining us!

In this Timed Turner episode, Adam and Tara turn a bit nostalgic as they identify what objects they would be turning into horcruxes in order to live forever.... 😈

It's time for our character deep dive on Ronald Weasley!!!

Ron...kinda sucks sometimes...but also, we are all a little bit Ron and maybe we should remember that these are children... 🤷‍♀️

Oh, and we love Rupert Grint. Obviously 😁

Apologies for the delay on this one! We'll be back in 2 weeks with more Snitches shinanigans ❤️❤️

It's spa day with the Basic Snitches!

Just kidding! Adam just needs to be comfortable after being subjected to spending too much time with Tara 🤷‍♀️

Time for a Bracket episode! Spells for battle!🪄

Sorry Harry, your favorite spell ain't gonna cut it this time 😂

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, part 2 -

Adam and Tara revisit the second half of their NYC Cursed Child experience. Scorpius is still a cinnamon roll, pink bitch still needs to die, and Hermione is badass in EVERY timeline.

Meanwhile, Harry and Draco bond over being bad dads, Snape still sucks, Ron and Hermione have FOMO and the villain of this play is really terrible.

Look out for Professor McGonagall'a upcoming memoir: Haven't I Had Enough? (The answer is yes. Yes she has. Let the poor woman run her school in peace!) <...

BONUS EPISODE time!

In the final episode of this chapter, we share snippets from our Patreon Archive and give you EVEN MORE SARAH, as well as Roxana, Brian, Victoria and Dan (some of our favorite Snitches, of course). 

We play Guess Who and Wrong Answers Only and Tara tells everyone she's bad at things.

Enjoy, Snitches!!!

It's time for a spelling bee! Roxana, Sarah and our voice to text friend face off to become the champion! Hosted by Adam and Tara, this is a spelling bee unlike any other... Also, them Ravenclaws are good spellers 😉

This has turned into nearly an entire chapter focused on Ravenclaws! Though unintentional, we are we not not mad about it! Sarah is here again to be the Tara translator - This Timed Turner episode focuses on Ravenclaws in the series.. particularly the ones that we like, but we definitely discuss the assholes 🤷‍♀️

For our character study on Hermione, Sarah is here!

(Tara has laryngitis but is here too!)

After a roast of our silent co-host, we jump into our deep dive on the woman who kept two stupid boys alive for 7 years.

Bracket Timeeeeee!!!!

As this chapter turns towards being Ravenclaw coded (please stay tuned... 😂), we talk about BOOKS!!!

Adam put together a bracket of 16 books from the series and we crown one classic as the winner 🏆

But don't worry, even though there is only one winner, we keep all the books in our Snitch Library 😁😁

We're finally here. Cursed Child (part 1).

Revising our 2019 trip to NYC where we saw the play on Broadway, we discuss the good and the bad. Part one is a tough one for Harry, but we love Ginny, we're rooting for Scorpius, and we're still confused as fuck about the trolley witch.

Happy bonus episode, Snitches!

Here we share some of our favorite Screen Rant discussions (disagreements) previously shared on Patreon! Some (most) of these lists are terrible but every now and again, someone gets something right 🤷‍♀️

Apparently everyone is Brian and Sarah today (and naked...and Tara hasn't been invented)...

Anyway, if you haven't had enough chaos in your life, here's the missing piece...Basic Snitches Improv Night!!!

On this Timed Turner episode, we discuss all the Harry Potter spin-offs that we would watch...we start off pretty standard suggesting the need for a series about McGonagall and the Marauders and the founders of Hogwarts... Then, as you would expect, it gets weird (though not as weird as it could be, considering who we are...)

In this week's Character episode, we discuss the classiest of witches, Professor Minerva "McG" McGonagall ❤️

We basically spend the episode talking about how amazing McG is, focusing on all the badass stuff she does and how incredibly important she is to Harry's story. Also, Hogwarts literally would have completely fallen apart when Dumble was headmaster without McG there!

Time for another bracket episode!!!

This time we break down the best magical treats! 😁 What is the most superior magical treat???

Hint: it's NOT Every Flavor Beans 🤮

Also we don't know what half of these are so we just make up a bunch of stuff 🤷‍♀️

In this fandom episode, Adam and Tara discuss wild HP theories...some of which we have decided are now canon...ish.

Also, in case you didn't know, Snape reads Nora Roberts