Sailor Noob

Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!

Usagi is the superhero Sailor Moon, but now it's time to find more allies in her search for the Silver Crystal. Will pass with flying colors or learn a deadly lesson in the cram school of hard knocks?

In this episode, Kal taks about gakujushu juku or "cram schools", and Wish High. Plus, "second beautiful", dirty dogging, kaibosh versus kibosh, Sailor Star Wars , a 30 in English, cram school scouting, being too cool for Fonzie, falling...

Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!

An all-new season of Sailor Noob starts right here as we begin our journey through Sailor Moon Crystal! Usagi is 14, a crybay, you know the drill. But how is she going to deal with e-mail and smartphones? It's been 20 years since the first Sailor Moon series, and Usagi and friends are back for an all-new adaptation of her manga adventures!

In this episode, Kal taks about chiki neko and nora neko, Tama the Station Master c...

Sailor Noob is returning on Friday, May 1st, for an all-new season covering Sailor Moon Crystal! Details on this short episode!

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This week, we give our final thoughts on Sailor Moon Stars, answer audience questions, and say goodbye to Sailor Moon!

We also talk about the biggest spoiler challenge, our favorites and least favorites, putting glue on pizza, dumb doctors, Teenage Adultesque Sailor Girls, Kalnip, Sailor Intermediate, Stockholms syndrome, doing the numbers, going to one, enjoying your own tea, bringing back Mimette, the dragon switch, our gun-to-head picks, Dr. Syphilis triumphant, getting eugenicky...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The saga comes to a close this week as Usagi faces off against Galaxia for the fate of the galaxy! Can one girl stand alone against the legendary Sailor Senshi?

In this episode, we discuss magical girls. We also talk about grating doppelgangers, spoilers ahoy, getting your bits out, Debbie Harry, rapier and diaper, Hug Assault, going for TV-MA, a Shin Godzilla level of damage, getting blipped, 185 dead car ladies, turning the "...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Hope is a precious commodity this week as Galaxia stands triumphant over the remains of Earth's defenders! Is there anyone who can stand against the Legendary Sailor Senshi and her campaign of destruction?

In this episode, we discuss the Ainu people and their history and culture. We also talk about forgetful princesses, Bluey Time, point broken, Galactic Lampshade Attack, Chibi Wan, Sailor Cop, becoming fecund, abyss gazin', the very last "What Kal...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Time is running out this week as Sailor Moon must face the reality that the Outer Senshi have betrayed her! Can she convince her former allies to spare her life or will Galaxia see her dream of conquest realized?

In this episode, we discuss the legend of the 47 Ronin, as well as the history of bushido and the samurai in Japanese history. We also talk about whether Superman wears clothes, doing the...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

A stunning betrayal ROCKS the Sailor Senshi this week as Galaxia's power grows. Can Sailor Moon and the Sailor Starlights rally themselves to face the threat or will Galaxia hold illimitable dominion over all?

In this episode, we discuss the February 28th coup attempt of 1936. We also talk about Space Walmart, Neighborhoodia, a time and a place, Jacob wins, keeping your face, sapphic banter, flirting in the space room, Baby's first murder, the...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The end of everything begins here as Galaxia casts her evil shadow across the Earth! Can the Sailor Senshi and the Sailor Starlights overcome their differences and face their foe or will darkness claim the galaxy?

In this episode, we discuss '"johatsu" or disappearances, the cities of San'ya and Kamagasaki, and kamikakushi or "spirited away". We also talk about high steaks, DBZ as The Simpsons of anime, powerful ball magic, hopeless...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Three Lights are taking a bow this week when they decide to play their last show! Will they find the Light of Hope and restore their Princess, or will Galaxia bring down the final curtain?

In this episode, we discuss the work culture of Japan and freeters, hikikomori, and karoshi or "work death". We also talk about Sailor Moon polycules, disbanding the band, fish-out-of-water stuff, horned-up lust beasts, having male friends, "wooing"...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Princess Kakyu has arrived and so has a new chapter in Sailor Moon Stars! The Sailor Senshi have discovered a potential new ally, but can they mobilize themselves before Usagi falls prey to Sailor Tin Nyanko?

In this episode, we discuss the modern Japanese sports, specifically sumo, karate, and kendo. We also talk about crusades vs. holy wars, sexy angry carrots, The One True Ship, diaper pants, the invention of panties, a...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This week, the conflict against the Animamates reaches a new level as Sailor Lead Crow succeeds in capturing the True Star Seed! Can the Sailor Senshi and the Sailor Starlights defeat their enemy or will the galaxy belong to Galaxia?

In this episode, we discuss the history of geisha, jokyu or cafe girls, and maid cafes in Japan. We also talk about calligraphic co-dependency, Rule 34 Patterns, Bee Family, singing drummers, Moby Dicking...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Minako is on the route to stardom this week as she becomes a finalist in an idol competition! Can she win the judges over with her skill and charm or will Sailor Tin Nyanko turn her dream into a nightmare?

In this episode, we discuss virtual idols and vtubers in Japan. We also talk about cyberpunk furries, Grand Theft Pacman, unlimited fish eggs, the bit that never comes, caring for the villains...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

A new challenger appears this week as the girls attend a video game competition! Will Ami rise to victory and confront Taiki or will Sailor Gamer-chan eat up all her continues?

In this episode, we discuss the history of Nintendo and its most famous properties. We also talk about FX's Shogun of Harlem, Breaking Bento, pretending to like Star Wars, Sour Cream Lunch, Ami-ga 4000, HMLT, grid girls, 2 out of 10, Rain Manning it, "...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The wheel keeps turning this week as the Starlights' past is revealed! Can Seiya make Usagi understand his mission or will his day at the park turn into a night of violence?

In this episode, we discuss the Japanese theme parks Hanayashiki, Sanrio Puroland, and Tokyo Disneyland. We also talk about conehead vibes, power swag, Miss Minutes slash fic, double j'ing, two out of three pants, Civil Soldier War, tough bits to co...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This one goes out to all the lovers as Three Lights go on a request and dedication show! Usagi and Seiya are still reeling from last week’s revelations, but can Seiya heal their relationship before the Animamates tear them apart?

In this episode, we discuss radio stations and public radio in Japan. We also talk about starseeds, Shogun syndrome, magical queer best friends, defacto cat parents, space drag heroes, Sailor Disco De...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Things take off this week as Usagi and the girls go on a moonlight flight with Three Lights! But when Sailor Aluminum Siren shows up to crash the party, everyone's deepest secrets will be revealed!

In this episode, we discuss the history of aviation in Japan. We also talk about smelling secrets, zoo libraries, my own private Oahu, Viz cope, the Kilometer High Club, lust strength, mes yeux, Fetish Night at the...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The squad gets taken out to the ballgame this week as a rival student challenges Usagi and Seiya to softball! Can they find victory on the diamond before the Animamates bring their season to an end?

In this episode, we discuss softball in Japan. We also talk about "calques", the old college try, playing with the boys, the Big Book of Hairdos, Lady Fartbutt, mostly guileless, Sailor Scrappiness, a Bad News Bears...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Things get noisy AND nosey this week as Usagi and the squad try to track down Chibi Chibi! Which is more mysterious: the existence of Usagi's second(?) daughter or the secret of the land of sweets she disappears to?

In this episode, we discuss zaibatsus in Japan and the League of Blood incident. We also talk being a spoiler bloodhound, Pizza Festival, uvula wipes, Japan Girl Dolls, Witchfinder Barbie, saying zarei to...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Taiki discovers this week what it’s like to have an innocent girl’s heart in his hands…literally! Can he find the strength to give her hope or will the Animamates claim another victim?

In this episode, we discuss charity and charitable giving in Japan. We also talk about expensive fruit salad, sex danger, Hospital High School, Somy TV, putting octopus weiners in your mouth, confirming contemporaneity, sipping indolently, Arthur fist, sad gi...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Monsters are dangerous but they've got nothing on teenage boys! When Usagi hosts an impromptu house party (and reality show episode), the Animamates arrive as deadly gatecrashers!

In this episode, we discuss Japanese reality shows like Susunu, Denpa Shonen!, Terrace House, and The Boyfriend. We also talk about Jean-Claude Man Dame, wolf cops, Luna's Mom voice, "That's our Rei!", erotic baths, passionate cards, Emilypostichore, nuki ni kuji, the eggplant game, food-throwing age, M...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This week, Usagi and friends head to the mountains for a little R&R, but there's someone or something terrorizing campers! Can they solve the mystery of the Camp Ravager before their weekend is cut to ribbons?

In this episode, we discuss the Japanese film industry. We also talk about being too hot to act, being an "ichi cousin, san removed", Dewey Cox's sinks, 2 Fast 2 Chibi, bawitdabyebye, having Jason problems, Primary Commanders...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Things feel familiar this week as a tiny bundle of dangoed joy appears from somewhere(?) to meet the Sailor Senshi! Will Usagi solve the mystery of Chibi Chibi before Sailor Cop and the Animamates put her in the cooler?

In this episode, we discuss police in Japan. We also talk about having it good in the 90s, Queeging, rookie galaxy numbers, Japan's love for the X-Files, a tan stacked greenhead, retired Artemis, "...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

CW: violence, sexual assault

Things get complex this week as Usagi ends up on a date with Seiya! Is this the start of something special or will Sailor Iron Mouse end them both?

In this episode, we discuss host and hostess clubs in Japan. We also talk about downslope speed, sad MakoMina shippers, adult moods, blowing the whistle on Seiya, "makeout territory", Bar Space Edge, Neo Bob Floy's, Eternity for...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Things get cultured this week as Michiru and Three Lights are headlining an international concert! Will they upstage the evil stalking them before they're conducted to an early grave?

In this episode, we discuss the Nippon Budokan the famous acts that have played there. We also talk about chicken braking, invalidating zoomers, tube top diplomacy, Minakopropisms, Macaroni and Coco Mishell, joint concerts, the Seihive, Devil Went Down to Juban, Seichiru, sapphic tension...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This week, trouble is a-bakin' as the Sailor Senshi face a delicious and deadly foe! Makoto and Usagi are invited on a cooking show, but can they convince Taiki to help them before Shadow Galactica cooks their goose?

In this episode, we discuss the history of Iron Chef. We also talk about weird chips, coffee Blake, Tetsuro and Canada, eating brown goo, Sailor WikiFeet, surf terms, sparkly star destroyers, keeping Edward and...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Luna is in trouble this week when she falls for the enigmatic Yaten! But can she pull her head out of the clouds in time to save herself and her Byronic boyfriend from Sailor Mademoiselle?

In this episode, we discuss the history of cosmetics in Japan. We also talk about having an open face, Eclair de Luna, Shakespeare Moon, Old School Sailor V, shojo nosebleeds, sex farce stuff, Hangin' with Mr. Higashi...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Taiki is a man who believes in science and not sentiment. But when Ami's favorite teacher becomes the target of Sailor Iron Mouse, their lives will be in Sailor Star Maker's hands!

In this episode, we discuss Japanese astronomy. We also talk about anime scientists, Francois Hardy, howling like a dog, being ruined by SuperS, bored Rei, CCR couplets, edible lab coats, Sailor Moon: No Stars, lying with your Tindr pic, poker...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

This week, Seiya finds himself at odds with the director of his new musical. But when Sailor Iron Mouse targets her for seed extraction, Seiya will have to choose between his passion and his mission!

In this episode, we discuss Saint Francis Xavier. We also talk about the chef's kiss emoji, 1, 2, 3, 4 vs. 5, 6, 7, 8, PaRappa nightmares, Satan's Army, Jesus Christ Superstar's brother, A&W culture, Musical Neck War, a reverse Thorn Birds, Beans Believing...

Sometimes we need a break from the day-to-day, and that's when we go on Shore Leave!

Shore Leave is our monthly series where we kick back and talk about some of the Sailor Moon and anime-adjacent topics that are on our minds. A real chill-out zone where ideas can hang out and do whatever. And now we're live every Wednesday night at 7pm central on Twitch!

This week, we're talking about over-tourism in Japan and Yasuke, the black samurai!

Adzuki beans!!!

Join Kaliban on Twitch weekdays at 12pm for the Laser Lunch...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Minako wants to be a successful idol and getting closer to the boys in Three Lights doesn't sound bad, either. But when she starts working for the band, she'll find out that stardom can come with a deadly cost!

In this episode, we discuss sarcasm and its use in Japan. We also talk about future yabbo, hostile wombs, rubbin' rhubarbs, violent bits, Fat Corinthian, Lady Anya Taylor-Joy, vowel cleaning, Faye Dunaway, the c...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Important things are afoot this week as Juban High is visited by Three Lights! With their teen idols attending classes with them, will the Senshi be able to keep it together long to defeat a sporty menace?

In this episode, we discuss American football in Japan and Kinnikuman. We also talk about Mamousa vs. Seiousa, Edward with a rat tail, Van Pegasus, "Mina Talk Pretty One Day", Kenny Log-ins, Senshi flourishing, shades...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The show must go on this week as we say goodbye to old friends and hello to new enemies! With Mamoru and Chibiusa gone, Usagi is doing her best to stay strong, but the appearance of new Sailors will have her asking: what is going on?

In this episode, we discuss engagement and arranged marriage in Japan. We also talk about being more "mature", neo vs. post, pteruges, Something Hall, Expo Mako...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The end is finally here this week as the Sailor Senshi confront Nehellenia in her evil lair! Can Usagi find a way to end the cycle of hate or will she lose Mamoru and Chibiusa forever?

In this episode, we discuss Tsukuyomi the moon god and his appearance in the Nihon Shoki, "moon reading", Ukemochi, and Amatsu-Mikaboshi. We also talk about training montages, victory mode, animator intervention, "Swifting", Chibi Nehellenia, beating with...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The Sailor Senshi are trapped in Nehellenia's realm this week as Usagi falls under a mysterious and forgetful curse. Can her friends save her in time to rescue Mamoru from eternal servitude to the Dark Queen?

In this episode, we discuss kitsune yokai, foxfire, Inari, kitsune nybob or "fox wife", kitsune gao or "fox face", kitsune possession, hoshi no tama or "star balls", and kitsune weddings. We also talk about yuriing on...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Sailor Moon takes the fight to Nehellenia this week as the curse looms over Mamoru. But when the Sailor Senshi are scattered across multiple worlds, they'll find themselves at the mercy of the Queen of the Dead Moon!

In this episode, we discuss the history of basketball in Japan. We also talk about German titles, astrology-based superpowers, BTTF rules, 2000's Sailor Moon, bringing the villain on board, Crystal Nagoya, Azubu-Juban Park, determinedly...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The tension persists this week as the Sailor Senshi ponder the strange events in Tokyo! Can they solve their dilemma before Mamoru is lost to evil?

In this episode, we discuss Einstein's travels in Japan. We also talk about weird advent calendars, diagnosing teenagerism, Tyhpoid Usagi, Naru/Umino paint, a rash of lazenings, golden eye-based infidelity, bad luck force multipliers, leftover diapers, retroactive exposition, Moon Hypocrisy Action, evil home renovation, being the...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

The treachery continues this week as Nehellenia expands her dark power through the reflections of Tokyo! Can the Sailor Senshi find a way to meet this overwhelming new challenge or is the world in for a new dark age?

In this episode, we discuss the learning English in Japan. We also talk about junior boomers, Myler: The Real Enemy, bootleg "Just Shoot Me", domesticating the Outers, Charlie Chaplin suits, 3 Women and a...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

Sailor Noob is back for a new season of Sailor Moon as Usagi and friends begin their high school adventures! While Chibiusa gets stuck in the 20th century by a mysterious starfall, the Outer Senshi learn the hard way that trouble is brewing and some evils don't stay dead!

In this episode, we discuss the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi. We also talk about Japanese semicolons, Sailor "R's". Juban Community College, Sailor bullets, c...

Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!

An era of Sailor Moon comes to a close this week as we deliver a double-sized episode of Moon Crisis goodness! First, Ami is the greatest student in Japan, but is she being stalked by a close rival? Then, when a whimsical, candy-based menace threatens to destroy Earth, the Sailor Senshi will have to resist the lure of childish dreams or be consumed by evil!

In this episode, we discuss cram school...