Sailor Noob
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series! Each week on Sailor Noob, hosts Mikanhana and Ka1iban talk about the heroic exploits of the Sailor Senshi, as well as the aspects of Japanese culture, clothing, and food seen in the series. Mikanhana is a Japanese language student who lived in Japan for a time; Ka1iban has never seen a single frame of the show. Join us as we Moon Prism Power "make up" each magical episode!
SNC 14: "Conclusion and Commencement -Petite Étrangère-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
The end commences and things are going on in Sailor Moon Crystal's first season finale, as Usagi must struggle against a triumphant Queen Metalia! Is this the end for Earth and the Sailor Senshi or can love win out over darkness and hate?
In this episode, Kal talks about the "Red Thread of Fate", Yue Lao, the Chinese god of marriage, Diyu or the Chinese underworld, the fables "The Wedding Shop" and "The Cowherd and...
SNC 13: "Final Battle -Reincarnation-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
It's the penultimate episode of Sailor Moon Crystal's first season, as the Sailor Senshi face off against Queen Metalia in a battle for the Earth! Can Usagi stand alone in defense of the planet or will humanity fall to an ancient evil?
In this episode, Kal talks about King Arthur in Japan and his Japanese cognate: Emperor Jimmu. Plus, a weird wild wooly wander of a real cowboy ride, the sword of holy +1, too big...
SNC 12: "Enemy -Queen Metalia-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
This week, the Sailor Senshi fight desperately to save Mamoru from the clutches of Queens Beryl and Metalia! Will the powers of love and friendship be able to break his evil bonds or will Usagi have to make the ultimate sacrifice?
In this episode, Kal talks about the cultural history of s*icide in Japan, seppuku, and the concept of amae. Plus, Vader v. Senshi, Mamoru is the Jean Grey, putting all your points into Fo...
SNC 11: "Reunion -Endymion-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
The Sailor Senshi have returned from their Moon mission to rescue Mamoru, only to find that he's already back?! But this Mamoru goes by "Endo", and he'll stop at nothing to possess the Legendary Silver Crystal!
In this episode, Kal talks about the Tenka Goken or the "Five Swords under Heaven", and other mythical swords of Japanese history. Plus, a "slight male perspective", J. Jonah Kenji, laserheads, Sailor Summers, insecure Luna, taking time to recompress, o...
SNC 10: "Moon"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
This week, the Sailor Senshi head for the Moon to unlock the secrets of thier past. Back on Earth, Tuxedo Mask remains missing and the Queen Beryl's minions are preparing to put Tokyo in deep freeze!
In this episode, Kal talks about Japanese Moon myths, Chang’e and Yutu, The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter and Princess Kaguya,and Princess from the Moon. Plus, Munriting, second fiddles, blaming your guidance counselor, "72 hours earlier...", fairy people fr...
SNC 9: "Serenity -Princess-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
The Legendary Silver Crystal has been found but Tuxedo Mask has been lost! Wlll learning the shocking truth about her ancient past be too much for an overwhelmed Usagi?
In this episode, Kal talks about josei tenno or "women emperors". Plus, the lie of the "Sailor V anime", Takeuchi and Tolkien, eating the cheese out of Sailor Moon Crystal, dying with your mask on, fake Peter brook tips, wrestling with serial storytelling, adaptation vagaries, "Kami's...
SNC 8: "Minako -Sailor V-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
The Sailor Senshi have a new ally in the battle against the Dark Kingdom! But But even Sailor V's powers may not be enough to stop Queen Beryl from first taking Toyko...and then the world!
In this episode, Kal talks about shiitake mushrooms and long Japanese vowels or "chouon". Plus, Venus fever, BTAS, refreshing the Power Rangers, entrelacement, getting to the Frodo factory, RAV4 fondue, typical cat face, "Too nervous to bi", insert coin...
SNC 7: "Mamoru Chiba -Tuxedo Mask-"
Secrets are revealed this week, as Usagi and Mamoru finally have a heart-to-heart. Can they get closer to each other before Zoisite gives them an unhappy ending?
In this episode, Kal talks about DVD pupularity and rental in Japan, oshikatsu or Japanese "stans", oshi or "favorite", and recycle shops. Plus, being easily brought to tears, villain duos, characters over story, using only part of your ass, relevant non-sequiturs, The McDonald's of animation, getting rid of teasers, bite worse than bark, Sensitive Steve, "gonnabarfey", the Bag Cut, Aladdin's Basement, Blurry Krang, being Crystal simpatico, sticky Dead Zone situations, WRAP...
SNC 6: "Tuxedo Mask"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
This week, Tuxedo Mask is on TV and Zoisite is in heels! The Sailor Senshi are introduced to a larger world, while their own is on the brink of chaos and disaster!
In this episode, Kal talks about "owarai" and "baraeti" or Japanese TV comedy and variety shows. Plus, Act 6 - TM 0, treating the series as hostile, perfecting your pacing, entertaining breakdowns, Crystal googling, listening to an autopsy, Re: The Legendary Silver Crystal, making your...
SNC 5: "Makoto -Sailor Jupiter-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
There's a new transfer student at Juban Middle and she's both mysterious and intimidating! Will Usagi and friends win her over before Nephrite's mannequins can dress them down?
In this episode, Kal talks about the history and customs of Shinto weddings, wedding dresses in Japan, and wedding deities. Plus, the truth of trees, moon pranks, Scandinavian solidarity, The Gamut of Girly Things, adaptational dysfunction, The Crow vs. Splinter, smashing uvulas, The Hero of a Thousand...
SNC 4: "Masquerade Dance Party"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
The Sailor Senshi are now three, and it's time to complete the search for their Princess and the Silver Crystal! Can they swing a victory at a fancy masquerade ball or will the Dark Kingdom dance on their faces?
In this episode, Kal talks about the history of magatama in Japan. Plus, being weirdly at sea, rats vs. crows, Athenian propaganda, prequel pitches, The Dark Moonie, going off your wheatcakes, repiloting, Luna C. Cat, Crystal...
SNC 3: "Rei -Sailor Mars-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
People in Tokyo are disappearing when they ride a bus that travels through Azabu-Juban! Can the mysterious miko from a nearby shrine help Usagi defeat this urban terror?
In this episode, Kal taks about crows in Japan and crow legends, like Yatagarasu and the tengu. Plus, being a firestarting reincarnated super soldier moon alien, more Sailor Star Wars, "I'll be there for Puu", "filler" vs filler episodes, Hyper Beryl, youma-in-waiting, The Return of Obasan Joker...
SNC 2: "Ami -Sailor Mercury”
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
Usagi is the superhero Sailor Moon, but now it's time to find more allies in her search for the Silver Crystal. Will pass with flying colors or learn a deadly lesson in the cram school of hard knocks?
In this episode, Kal taks about gakujushu juku or "cram schools", and Wish High. Plus, "second beautiful", dirty dogging, kaibosh versus kibosh, Sailor Star Wars , a 30 in English, cram school scouting, being too cool for Fonzie, falling...
SNC 1: "Usagi -Sailor Moon-"
Sailor Noob Crystal is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan goes episode by episode through the 2014 Sailor Moon reboot series!
An all-new season of Sailor Noob starts right here as we begin our journey through Sailor Moon Crystal! Usagi is 14, a crybay, you know the drill. But how is she going to deal with e-mail and smartphones? It's been 20 years since the first Sailor Moon series, and Usagi and friends are back for an all-new adaptation of her manga adventures!
In this episode, Kal taks about chiki neko and nora neko, Tama the Station Master c...
WE BACK
Sailor Noob is returning on Friday, May 1st, for an all-new season covering Sailor Moon Crystal! Details on this short episode!
SN 201: Sailor Moon Stars and Series Wrap-Up plus Q&A
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
This week, we give our final thoughts on Sailor Moon Stars, answer audience questions, and say goodbye to Sailor Moon!
We also talk about the biggest spoiler challenge, our favorites and least favorites, putting glue on pizza, dumb doctors, Teenage Adultesque Sailor Girls, Kalnip, Sailor Intermediate, Stockholms syndrome, doing the numbers, going to one, enjoying your own tea, bringing back Mimette, the dragon switch, our gun-to-head picks, Dr. Syphilis triumphant, getting eugenicky...
SN 200: "Usagi's Love: The Moonlight Illuminates the Galaxy"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
The saga comes to a close this week as Usagi faces off against Galaxia for the fate of the galaxy! Can one girl stand alone against the legendary Sailor Senshi?
In this episode, we discuss magical girls. We also talk about grating doppelgangers, spoilers ahoy, getting your bits out, Debbie Harry, rapier and diaper, Hug Assault, going for TV-MA, a Shin Godzilla level of damage, getting blipped, 185 dead car ladies, turning the "...
SN 199: "The Light of Hope: The Final Battle for the Galaxy"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Hope is a precious commodity this week as Galaxia stands triumphant over the remains of Earth's defenders! Is there anyone who can stand against the Legendary Sailor Senshi and her campaign of destruction?
In this episode, we discuss the Ainu people and their history and culture. We also talk about forgetful princesses, Bluey Time, point broken, Galactic Lampshade Attack, Chibi Wan, Sailor Cop, becoming fecund, abyss gazin', the very last "What Kal...
SN 198: "Dying Stars: Uranus and Neptune's Last Stand"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Time is running out this week as Sailor Moon must face the reality that the Outer Senshi have betrayed her! Can she convince her former allies to spare her life or will Galaxia see her dream of conquest realized?
In this episode, we discuss the legend of the 47 Ronin, as well as the history of bushido and the samurai in Japanese history. We also talk about whether Superman wears clothes, doing the...
SN 197: "Ruler of the Galaxy: The Menace of Galaxia"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
A stunning betrayal ROCKS the Sailor Senshi this week as Galaxia's power grows. Can Sailor Moon and the Sailor Starlights rally themselves to face the threat or will Galaxia hold illimitable dominion over all?
In this episode, we discuss the February 28th coup attempt of 1936. We also talk about Space Walmart, Neighborhoodia, a time and a place, Jacob wins, keeping your face, sapphic banter, flirting in the space room, Baby's first murder, the...
SN 196: "Countdown to Destruction: The Sailor Guardians' Last Battle"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
The end of everything begins here as Galaxia casts her evil shadow across the Earth! Can the Sailor Senshi and the Sailor Starlights overcome their differences and face their foe or will darkness claim the galaxy?
In this episode, we discuss '"johatsu" or disappearances, the cities of San'ya and Kamagasaki, and kamikakushi or "spirited away". We also talk about high steaks, DBZ as The Simpsons of anime, powerful ball magic, hopeless...
SN 195: "Princess Kakyu Perishes: Advent of Galaxia"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Three Lights are taking a bow this week when they decide to play their last show! Will they find the Light of Hope and restore their Princess, or will Galaxia bring down the final curtain?
In this episode, we discuss the work culture of Japan and freeters, hikikomori, and karoshi or "work death". We also talk about Sailor Moon polycules, disbanding the band, fish-out-of-water stuff, horned-up lust beasts, having male friends, "wooing"...
SN 194: "Crusade for the Galaxy: Legend of the Sailor Wars"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Princess Kakyu has arrived and so has a new chapter in Sailor Moon Stars! The Sailor Senshi have discovered a potential new ally, but can they mobilize themselves before Usagi falls prey to Sailor Tin Nyanko?
In this episode, we discuss the modern Japanese sports, specifically sumo, karate, and kendo. We also talk about crusades vs. holy wars, sexy angry carrots, The One True Ship, diaper pants, the invention of panties, a...
SN 193: "The Stolen Silver Crystal: Princess Kakyu Appears"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
This week, the conflict against the Animamates reaches a new level as Sailor Lead Crow succeeds in capturing the True Star Seed! Can the Sailor Senshi and the Sailor Starlights defeat their enemy or will the galaxy belong to Galaxia?
In this episode, we discuss the history of geisha, jokyu or cafe girls, and maid cafes in Japan. We also talk about calligraphic co-dependency, Rule 34 Patterns, Bee Family, singing drummers, Moby Dicking...
SN 192: "Go for your Dream! Minako Becomes an Idol?!"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Minako is on the route to stardom this week as she becomes a finalist in an idol competition! Can she win the judges over with her skill and charm or will Sailor Tin Nyanko turn her dream into a nightmare?
In this episode, we discuss virtual idols and vtubers in Japan. We also talk about cyberpunk furries, Grand Theft Pacman, unlimited fish eggs, the bit that never comes, caring for the villains...
SN 191: "Butterflies of Light: A New Chapter on the Horizon"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
A new challenger appears this week as the girls attend a video game competition! Will Ami rise to victory and confront Taiki or will Sailor Gamer-chan eat up all her continues?
In this episode, we discuss the history of Nintendo and its most famous properties. We also talk about FX's Shogun of Harlem, Breaking Bento, pretending to like Star Wars, Sour Cream Lunch, Ami-ga 4000, HMLT, grid girls, 2 out of 10, Rain Manning it, "...
SN 190: "Truth Revealed: The Star Lights' Past"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
The wheel keeps turning this week as the Starlights' past is revealed! Can Seiya make Usagi understand his mission or will his day at the park turn into a night of violence?
In this episode, we discuss the Japanese theme parks Hanayashiki, Sanrio Puroland, and Tokyo Disneyland. We also talk about conehead vibes, power swag, Miss Minutes slash fic, double j'ing, two out of three pants, Civil Soldier War, tough bits to co...
SN 189: "Duty or Friendship: Conflict Between the Sailor Guardians"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
This one goes out to all the lovers as Three Lights go on a request and dedication show! Usagi and Seiya are still reeling from last week’s revelations, but can Seiya heal their relationship before the Animamates tear them apart?
In this episode, we discuss radio stations and public radio in Japan. We also talk about starseeds, Shogun syndrome, magical queer best friends, defacto cat parents, space drag heroes, Sailor Disco De...
SN 188: "Invitation to Terror: Usagi's Night Flight"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Things take off this week as Usagi and the girls go on a moonlight flight with Three Lights! But when Sailor Aluminum Siren shows up to crash the party, everyone's deepest secrets will be revealed!
In this episode, we discuss the history of aviation in Japan. We also talk about smelling secrets, zoo libraries, my own private Oahu, Viz cope, the Kilometer High Club, lust strength, mes yeux, Fetish Night at the...
SN 187: "The Shining Power of a Star: Chibi-Chibi's Transformation"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
The squad gets taken out to the ballgame this week as a rival student challenges Usagi and Seiya to softball! Can they find victory on the diamond before the Animamates bring their season to an end?
In this episode, we discuss softball in Japan. We also talk about "calques", the old college try, playing with the boys, the Big Book of Hairdos, Lady Fartbutt, mostly guileless, Sailor Scrappiness, a Bad News Bears...
SN 186: "Chibi-Chibi's Mystery: The Big Noisy Chase"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Things get noisy AND nosey this week as Usagi and the squad try to track down Chibi Chibi! Which is more mysterious: the existence of Usagi's second(?) daughter or the secret of the land of sweets she disappears to?
In this episode, we discuss zaibatsus in Japan and the League of Blood incident. We also talk being a spoiler bloodhound, Pizza Festival, uvula wipes, Japan Girl Dolls, Witchfinder Barbie, saying zarei to...
SN 185: "Taiki's Song Filled with Passion and Faith"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Taiki discovers this week what it’s like to have an innocent girl’s heart in his hands…literally! Can he find the strength to give her hope or will the Animamates claim another victim?
In this episode, we discuss charity and charitable giving in Japan. We also talk about expensive fruit salad, sex danger, Hospital High School, Somy TV, putting octopus weiners in your mouth, confirming contemporaneity, sipping indolently, Arthur fist, sad gi...
SN 184: "A Night Alone Together: Usagi in Danger"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Monsters are dangerous but they've got nothing on teenage boys! When Usagi hosts an impromptu house party (and reality show episode), the Animamates arrive as deadly gatecrashers!
In this episode, we discuss Japanese reality shows like Susunu, Denpa Shonen!, Terrace House, and The Boyfriend. We also talk about Jean-Claude Man Dame, wolf cops, Luna's Mom voice, "That's our Rei!", erotic baths, passionate cards, Emilypostichore, nuki ni kuji, the eggplant game, food-throwing age, M...
SN 183: "The Screaming Dead: Terror of the Camp Monster"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
This week, Usagi and friends head to the mountains for a little R&R, but there's someone or something terrorizing campers! Can they solve the mystery of the Camp Ravager before their weekend is cut to ribbons?
In this episode, we discuss the Japanese film industry. We also talk about being too hot to act, being an "ichi cousin, san removed", Dewey Cox's sinks, 2 Fast 2 Chibi, bawitdabyebye, having Jason problems, Primary Commanders...
SN 182: "Invaders from Outer Space: The Coming of Siren"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Things feel familiar this week as a tiny bundle of dangoed joy appears from somewhere(?) to meet the Sailor Senshi! Will Usagi solve the mystery of Chibi Chibi before Sailor Cop and the Animamates put her in the cooler?
In this episode, we discuss police in Japan. We also talk about having it good in the 90s, Queeging, rookie galaxy numbers, Japan's love for the X-Files, a tan stacked greenhead, retired Artemis, "...
SN 181: "Seiya and Usagi's Heart-Pounding Date"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
CW: violence, sexual assault
Things get complex this week as Usagi ends up on a date with Seiya! Is this the start of something special or will Sailor Iron Mouse end them both?
In this episode, we discuss host and hostess clubs in Japan. We also talk about downslope speed, sad MakoMina shippers, adult moods, blowing the whistle on Seiya, "makeout territory", Bar Space Edge, Neo Bob Floy's, Eternity for...
SN 180: "Calling of the Shining Stars: Enter Haruka and Michiru"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Things get cultured this week as Michiru and Three Lights are headlining an international concert! Will they upstage the evil stalking them before they're conducted to an early grave?
In this episode, we discuss the Nippon Budokan the famous acts that have played there. We also talk about chicken braking, invalidating zoomers, tube top diplomacy, Minakopropisms, Macaroni and Coco Mishell, joint concerts, the Seihive, Devil Went Down to Juban, Seichiru, sapphic tension...
SN 179: "Friend or Foe? Star Lights and the Sailor Guardians"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
This week, trouble is a-bakin' as the Sailor Senshi face a delicious and deadly foe! Makoto and Usagi are invited on a cooking show, but can they convince Taiki to help them before Shadow Galactica cooks their goose?
In this episode, we discuss the history of Iron Chef. We also talk about weird chips, coffee Blake, Tetsuro and Canada, eating brown goo, Sailor WikiFeet, surf terms, sparkly star destroyers, keeping Edward and...
SN 178: "Luna's Discovery: The Real Face of Yaten"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Luna is in trouble this week when she falls for the enigmatic Yaten! But can she pull her head out of the clouds in time to save herself and her Byronic boyfriend from Sailor Mademoiselle?
In this episode, we discuss the history of cosmetics in Japan. We also talk about having an open face, Eclair de Luna, Shakespeare Moon, Old School Sailor V, shojo nosebleeds, sex farce stuff, Hangin' with Mr. Higashi...
SN 177: "A Star of Dreams and Wishes: Taiki's Transformation"
Sailor Noob is the podcast where a Sailor Moon superfan and a total noob go episode by episode through the original Sailor Moon series!
Taiki is a man who believes in science and not sentiment. But when Ami's favorite teacher becomes the target of Sailor Iron Mouse, their lives will be in Sailor Star Maker's hands!
In this episode, we discuss Japanese astronomy. We also talk about anime scientists, Francois Hardy, howling like a dog, being ruined by SuperS, bored Rei, CCR couplets, edible lab coats, Sailor Moon: No Stars, lying with your Tindr pic, poker...
