Cat Noir Comedy Podcast

Announcement!

Cat Noir will be releasing 12 episodes weekly from Feb 2026 and then again later in the year.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker is up to something.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an e...

The four survivors of Flight 935 have been saved, but at what cost.

As a devious plot to restart a chocolate empire puts Insert and Agatha in danger, Danny and Warren are forced to complete a dangerous mission in the heart of occupied Herring territory and not everyone is getting out alive.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

The four survivors of flight 935 have been stranded on the island again, but this time it won't be for long. 

After covering themselves in feathers to keep cool, Warren's past catches up with him and Insert and Agatha are kidnapped by a birdwatcher. 

Danny just wants to get home and put his feet up.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on...

Celebrity chef Honk Romsey and his team randomly pitch up at Kev’s house to record an episode

of his hit kitchen television show.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker doesn’t believe in doughballs.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fo...

Today we join Keith and Chris on the frontline of a training session all about the complexities of safely managing risk in the workplace. Participation is mandatory.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and Kevin Chilvers. 

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone. 

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast

Geoff the Baker won’t be appearing in this episode due to bakery reasons.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, Britis...

Join Dale Alan for the once in a lifetime opportunity to interview Hollywood actor and all round legend Brian Breynolds

on a specially extended episode of Digging Deeper. Brian’s not actually here yet, though he’s definitely on his way.

Luckily, someone else is keen to fill in for him, and she swears she has a story to tell.

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to some elephants placing a massive order of iced buns.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Matt Sanders and...

You wanna know what's gonna happen, don't you? Maybe it's for the best you just listen. You can never have too much of a good thing.

Curiosity is healthy and can be wise, but sometimes you need to know when to leave well alone. Just get out whilst you still can.

Can you hear bagpipes? Oh my god! RUN!

Travelling by train, Chip Mason and Gavin Walters find themselves on the run from a bizarre Scottish soldier who cannot possibly exist.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by...

Charlie Blunderwedge and Jim Bond fly out to a small apple producing isle to find a missing child in a story

remarkably similar to the old film The Wicker Man; a film so famous that surely everyone must have seen it by now...

haven’t they?

All celebrity voices impersonated.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

"Hegs" written and performed by Matt Sanders, music by Kevin Chilvers.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

So...

A classic tale of meringue-based hauntings.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . 

Geoff the Baker went bowling.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podcast. Every fortnight, follow the fortunes or misfortunes of an ever growing cast of characters played b...

Only one man can save publisher Jim Bond when an ancient evil is waiting in the shadows.

However, Charlie Blunderwedge must face his faith, wellbeing and hatred of long, boring flashbacks in order to be ready.

Please arrive early or be a little late. The exact hand of time is where the Hour Man waits.

Beyond the eye, just out of view. The Hour Man counts the seconds for you.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers...

In America, songs from a hip-hop band have begun to predict the future and the F.B.I. are tasked to investigate before the release of their new single:

Kaboom! (End of the World)

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker enjoys time at his local playground; where he likes to go cl...

For this year’s seasonally festive special we were inspired by the Dickens’ Christmas tale of ghosts and changing ways.

In our version, we’ve reworked the classic into a modern day story of constantly feeling hassled, and given it a name lifted from an old Bowie movie.

This pleased Kev cos he’s a massive fan. Matt likes Labyrinth.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC. <...

Ian Browdent, a struggling music producer Is auditioning singers for a new commercial when he is offered the chance of a lifetime: an all-inclusive tour of America.

However, there is always a catch. Will Ian be able to explain why there are four dead bodies in the street and he is holding the smoking gun?

Or is he destined to spend the rest of his life behind bars?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original a...

When Christmas gets rudely hijacked, Kev and Matt take to the road tracking the evil Rick Alanman to The Tachycardic Plaza in London,

where Danny Peaks is having the time of his life. Can Kev and Matt save Christmas? No good asking Mr Tunguska... he will never tell.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find...

Novelist Charlie Blunderwedge and his agent Jim Bond take a few well earned vacation days in a secluded health spa hidden in the Swiss Alps. But is Restoration Falls all that it seems? And what exactly are the special treatments that go on there?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Why is a single island known as The Ferrero Rocher Isles? Exactly where is it and should anyone even care?

Who is the mysterious Lacunar Infarct? Is he really a vampire? Or is some other nonsense afoot?

Dale Alan digs deeper to find out.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on...

Novelist, Charlie Blunderwedge and his friend and literary agent, Jim Bond, are thrown into adventure after discovering mysterious writings on the

back of Charlie's new painting. But what does it all mean? And why does a man who looks exactly like Sean Bean care so much?

Join Charlie, Jim, and a whole heap of Hollywood characters as they set out on their quest to solve the question no one knew needed answering:

What and where is the Pynming August Sun Stone?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers...

After a dodgy bet in a rowdy pub; famed explorer Arnold Reinhold-Badgerfur assembles a team to cross the seas and search

for the mighty, mythical goat sucking Chupacabra. Who'll make the team and who can be trusted? Rum anyone?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the...

Join us for the Honk’s Kitchen.

Compiling the semi-final and final of one of the world’s most exciting daytime cookery shows, where casseroles and tempers get extremely heated.

Who will win the coveted prize of Head Chef at Honk Romsey’s brand new mobile restaurant and burger van: Honkz.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.za...

Compilating Ian and Stella's journey from recording their first album, to the mishaps of not working together and then their musical assault on Vegas.

Join us for a love story like no other and music that should never have been recorded due to it's magical qualities.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on...

Flashback with us to when Matt and Kev lost one of the 9 Miss Marple's that live in their cupboard and chased her across the Cat Noir Metaverse.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is missing.

No, sorry, that was a typo.

It's time to count down the top five "True Crime shows of the decade" as presented by Patrick MacNee.

The only problem is, Matt's wiped all the tapes.

However, the ever resourceful Patrick reveals a unique opportunity for Matt and Kev to finally do some acting.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come f...

Unexpected equine activity causes a big problem in Kev’s front room.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is here to help, but he’s just popped out.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British comedy series trapped within a podca...

Flight instructor Mike Russett starts his morning with a challenging lesson. But, for Mike, today is only going to get weirder…

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Cessna FX provided by "Cheeseheadburger" and "Cask" on freesounds.com

Geoff the Baker was here a moment ago. You jus...

A one-note character, largely known for saying Perkins lots, swears vengeance and justice on the man who wronged her, and will stop at nothing to make things right.

Warning: this episode contains themes of revenge and marzipan.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is...

Jude Baxter works at Hamilton laboratories.

His single purpose is to clean up after others and be ignored by his colleagues.

One night after hours, he accidentally solves the complex puzzle to life on earth,

however, has he just doomed the rest of the world to destruction.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.z...

Hunted by an array of people braying for blood, Danny Peaks has to think outside the box

to defeat the ancient sorcerer before he destroys the city.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Magic Mike has been in touch to advise that he has never hea...

Danny Peaks thought his day couldn't get any worse, but it has.

Hunted by the police and now trapped in a disused mine with his family,

Danny meets an ancient sorcerer who is in desperate need of a cup of tea.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Danny Peaks is in big trouble. His wife has been kidnapped by bandits and the police want a word.

Could his day get any worse?

Maybe a visit to his rival Graham, will cheer him up?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff th...

Marooned at a desolate research station on a planet far, far away and likely fictional,

civilian Jeff Bumble takes Star Captain Dick Calhoon through a virtual tour of life on an outpost

with no other humans and no contact beyond one affectionate android.

Episode 70 was written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker...

Seizing the opportunity to deliver his own podcast, Bill Shyster introduces us to the greatest money-making venture of all time.

Warning: DO NOT give this man any money.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker does not appear in this episode due to a long-running dispute with Bill Shyster.

Cat Noir is...

More gruesome deaths await the third night of the full moon at Bumpkin Manor. Will Kev and Matt survive?

Will the identity of the beast finally be revealed? Does any of this even matter? Who knows.

Episode four of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast . <...

The second day at Bumpkin Manor brings authoritative questions and stupid answers,

whilst the second night brings more blood, death, and the return of the beast.

But just what is it? A wild animal? Or are far more sinister forces at work?

Episode three of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some sound effects sourced from w...

Still on the first night of the full moon cycle, Kev and Matt seek answers in the rural Bumpkin Manor;

home to an eccentric family of complete and incomplete Bumpkins. Is everyone really who they say

they are and what of the beast calling out in the night? Episode two of a four-part mini-series.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and AI generated episode cover by KC.

Some s...

Following the arrival of a mysterious letter, Kev and Matt take to the road in search of Bumpkin Manor,

and all the secrets that lie within. Join us for the first episode of a four-part mysterious mystery mini-series,

where the words mysterious and mystery are likely to get used far too often.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Original artwork by Maisie Chilvers and the AI generated episode covers by KC.

Some sound effects...

Join us for a special tale starring Pink tiger and his faithful butler Burrowing Owl,

as they investigate the curious case of the Pale Lemur.

Keep the receipt, just in case.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker has made mince pies for the occasion. I wouldn't take one if he of...

With the super hero team, "No Quarter," broken into pieces and no closer to finding to the villain known as Dr Dentist.

Duke takes charge and starts to connect the dots. What he finds however, will challenge everything he thought he knew.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff The Baker played the Trombone during th...

Having lost another member of "No Quarter," the super hero team regroup to look for the villain known as Dr Dentist.

However, a bigger danger could lay closer to home.

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff The Baker recorded a cameo for this episode but his scene was cut. It was a shame as he...

Time Traveller, Duke Render has been forced into joining the super hero team, "No Quarter."

Their mission, to find the super villain known as Dr Dentist.

However the team are fixated on a little, old man who lives down the road and only wants a quiet life.

Maybe they are looking in the wrong direction?

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com C...

Who is the mysterious Lacunar Infarct? Is he really a vampire? Or is some other nonsense afoot?

Dale Alan digs deeper in the concluding part of this year’s Halloween special. 

Written, performed, produced, directed and edited by Kevin Chilvers and Matt Sanders.

Artwork by Maisie Chilvers. Social media management by Laurie Stone.

Some sound effects sourced from www.zapsplat.com

Come find us on Instagram @catnoirpodcast .

Geoff the Baker is stuck in traffic.

Cat Noir is a character based, fully scored, British com...