Lesbian Chronicles: Coming Out Later in Life

Melisa and Alli answer a listener email about their attraction to masc women vs. femme after coming out. Also, is there a power dynamic when kissing?  

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

This week Alli and Melisa explore the "3+1" theory from Simon Sinek which says that relationships require three core pillars of compatibility combined with one external factor -- Intellectual Compatibility, Emotional Compatibility, Creative/Sexual Compatibility and the key factor, Circumstances.

Learn more about Simon Sinek here. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Trigger Warning: Episode mentions rejection of trans kids, a violent murder, and self harm

Liliana Bakhtiar -- the first queer Muslim person to be elected in Georgia and the first non-binary councilmember of a major U.S. city -- joins the show to speak about issues currently facing the residents of Atlanta. Liliana also shares their upbringing in a family of political refugees and immigrants, their coming out story and how their family is accepting of them and their two partners. 

Follow Liliana on Instagram

https://www.lilianaforatlanta.com/

Georgia lawmaker comes o...

What distinguishes femme energy versus masculine energy when you take away the heels and the backwards hats? Our friend Robin joins the discussion with Alli and Melisa as they talk about how these energies present in different ways in our lives. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli shares how the book "When Things Fall Apart" is helping her right now. We also get into how to get comfortable with the discomfort of not knowing the future. (And how sometimes seeing a medium helps a little bit...)

Buy "When Things Fall Apart"

Buy Lesbian Chronicles Merch!

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Sometimes we take someone's capacity for a relationship really personal when the reality is, it's not that deep. This week Melisa and Alli discuss how much capacity plays a role in emotional bandwidth for a relationship. Sometimes someone's unavailability stems from having so much on their plate in other areas of life. But the bigger part of that is how the lack of capacity is communicated -- or if it's communicated at all. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Kiki Joy joins us to share about life living in Minneapolis-Saint Paul, Minnesota and being on her own since the age of 17. She talks about her journey to coming out later in life and how the pandemic forced her to face her own sexuality. Kiki also shares how she's working to find her place in the queer community while struggling with body image and learning to honor and love herself. 

Follow Kiki on Instagram

Trigger Warning: This episode mentions suicidal ideation and sexual assault. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/po...

Alli and Melisa explore the emotional ups and downs of relationships, both romantic and platonic that have taught us some lessons along the way. And accepting the fact that not everyone is going to like you or invite you to everything. 


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Dr. Lorri Sulpizio joins us to talk how modern “therapy speak” can sometimes make people second-guess themselves. What's the difference between true intuition and overthinking? Also, how do we hold space for our partner's anxious feelings and communicate with empathy and boundaries.

Learn more about Dr. Lorri Sulpizio... 
lorrisulpizio.com
Follow Dr. Lorri on Instagram and TikTok

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Singer-songwriter Abby Nissenbaum joins the show to share her story of growing up in a Jewish-Catholic household, being outed as a teenager by a neighborhood mom and what life is like today navigating her music career, full-time job and dating in Nashville. 

Learn more about Abby - abbynissenbaum.com
Follow her on Instagram and Spotify

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa talk about what it means to be a "visible" lesbian and how that image has evolved since we came out. And how friendships with couples look different now than when we were married to men. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Our friends Jennifer and Mary join the show to share their coming out stories, how they've navigated life as a couple over the last five years -- blending children and raising a child with special needs. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Dr. Mallory Hanfling joins the show again to share the results of The Firefly Study -- which analyzed compulsory heterosexuality and how it impacted the experiences of those who came out as gay, lesbian or trans later in life. 

Learn more about Mallory and The Firefly Study Courage to Grow Counseling


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Melisa and Alli talk how dating looks today compared to 25 years ago before smart phones encouraged near constant contact. We also address how to approach dating multiple people and how to avoid moving too quickly. 

Send us a DM on Instagram to pitch yourself or your friend! 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli joins us from Mexico City as she celebrates her niece's wedding -- and we talk about how therapy is finally paying off in the form of lessened anxiety -- and why people who say they won't date a "baby gay" are just very insecure. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

The Luxury Lesbian Matchmaker Sophia Spallino joins the show to talk dating apps, age gaps, long distance, catfishing scams, and dating etiquette. Also is there a Masc Lesbian shortage or a High Fem Lesbian shortage? 

Click here to work with Sophia and follow her on Instagram



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

This week we share audio clips from an interview Katie's wife did with Atlanta News First in July 2021. 
You can watch the full interview with Emma here.

If you'd like to report a tip anonymously, contact Atlanta Crimestoppers 
Atlanta Crimestoppers



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

This week we talk about the importance of breath work with Relationship Coach Rebecca Kordecki. Rebecca's work has been featured in The New York Times, Men's Health and Strong Fitness Magazine, just to name a few. 

To learn more about Rebecca's work -- follow her on Instagram or visit her website



Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Former detective Stef Huertas joins the show to give her take on the investigation into the 2021 murder of Katie Janness and her dog Bowie. 

If you'd like to report a tip anonymously, contact Atlanta Crimestoppers 
Atlanta Crimestoppers

Sources for this episode: 
Atlanta PD Crime Report and 911 call from Janness Murder

News Coverage
11Alive - August 2025

Fox 5 Atlanta - July 2025

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa talk aging and how signs of it creep up so fast -- and how to embrace the gift of time passing. Also, The Pitch! Our attempt at connecting single lesbians! 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Retired Homicide Detective Vincent Velazquez joins the show to give his take on the Katie Janness case. He answers our questions about how DNA, cell phone data and past crimes play a role in the investigation. 

Check out Vince's show "The Murder Mind" on YouTube
And give him a follow on Instagram


If you'd like to report a tip anonymously, contact Atlanta Crimestoppers 
Atlanta Crimestoppers

Sources for this episode: 
Atlanta PD Crime Report and 911 call from Janness Murder

News Coverage
11Alive - August 2025

Fox 5 Atlanta - J...

Alli and Melisa talk grieving the blueprint of your life -- mourning the life events you thought would happen but just aren't coming to fruition -- and mourning the life events that have passed.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

In our very first episode of Be Gay, Solve Crime, we dive into the details of the 2021 murder of Katie Janness and her dog, Bowie. The crime occured in a very popular park in the heart of Atlanta and remains unsolved. 

Sources for this episode: 

Atlanta PD Crime Report and 911 call from Janness Murder

News Coverage
11Alive - August 2025

Fox 5 Atlanta - July 2025

Internet Speculation 
Reddit r/UnresolvedMysteries

If you'd like to report a tip anonymously, contact Atlanta Crimestoppers 
Atlanta Crimestoppers

Become a supp...

Buckle up for part two with our friend Becca where we share some icks and "friend of the pod" Robin joins us for a conversation that goes very off the rails. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Our friend Becca joins the show for a long overdue interview seeing as Melisa and Becca go way, way back. Becca shares her story of experiencing multiple losses in her life, multiple marriages (to the same man!), a sexual awakening courtesy of a former teacher -- and her journey to coming to terms with her sexuality. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

All and Melisa discuss how healing can feel like an endless cycle -- and address Alli's mom's question of "Are we just trying too hard to find the 'perfect' relationship?"

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa discuss the Blake and Taylor drama, the 10-hour drive date that went viral on TikTok -- and how this all relates to toxicity in dating -- how discouraged so many people feel about not making solid connections despite their best efforts. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

This week's episode is a bit of a mixed bag as Melisa and Alli discuss evolving emotional regulation, choices we would make when we first came out versus today -- and always a fun topic, the "ick." 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Leadership and Mindset Coach Dr. Lorri Sulpizio joins the show to talk about the ups and downs of dating later in life, attachment styles and why it's so hard to be vulnerable. 

Check out Dr. Lorri Sulpizio on Instagram
Or on her website, lorrisulpizio.com

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Charlie shares how her relationship patterns have continued to teach her lessons about people with narcisstic traits -- and what it was like to come out later in life following her upbringing as a Jehovah's Witness. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Our friend Rachel shares a piece she wrote about how conflicting feelings can exist in ourselves, what that means and how to show up for yourself in the future. The importance of growing and learning lessons as we age. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa discuss a topic relationship coach Sabrina Zohar touched on -- using your trauma as an excuse. It's ok to name your trauma, but it's your job to fix. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa chat about how the seemingly innocent move of talking about friends can grow into hurtful gossip and setting the intentions of how to be more mindful about friendships. We also share the 9 habits of people who protect their energy ... Along with this powerful message about perimenopause from Rooted to Wellness

Editor's Note: Melisa mistakenly says koalas are "allergic" to eucalyptus. While eucalyptus is toxic, their digestive system is able to tolerate it. However, the leaves take a long time to digest which is what causes their lethargic nature. 

Become a supporter of this p...

Alli and Melisa chat about their Thanksgiving holiday with family and how we've shifted perspectives on our childhoods over the years. Also, how to train your brain to really "get excited" about what's coming up next in your life. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Rae is back to share how her relationship with her wife was impacting her children -- and the decision they've now made to "Live Apart Together."

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Our friend Shelley joins the show to talk about the years she spent ignoring her own sexuality and how she began to discover her true self in her late 40s. 


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Alli and Melisa talk the benefits of professional therapy and how it's an evolving process to uncover the layers of what makes us tick. Also, mark your calendars for November 21st! Lesbian Chronicles is hosting a screening of "The Christmas Writer" in Atlanta at The Beam Theatre. Click here for details!

Stream "The Christmas Writer" here.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Content creator Alicia joins the show to talk about her weight loss journey that she is actively sharing on TikTok, her life growing up in Kentucky and what it was like to come out in her mid-20s. 
Follow Alicia on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

Experts say the Honeymoon Phase of a relationship can last anywhere from a few months to two years -- so how do you keep that spark going and stay committed to your person? 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

As seen in People magazine, Lindsay Perrin joins the show to talk about her journey as a surrogate for a gay couple, working as a photographer for Rolling Stone and covering Taylor Swift's concerts. And we can't forget her epic Lesbian Bar Crawls in NYC. We also chat about the epidemic of lesbians canceling on dates.

Follow Linsay on TikTok and Instagram 

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.