Honestly Smartless

Chelsea and Lindsay recap a girls' weekend Wisconsin where everyone was too respectful, the men all loved their wives, and Chelsea just wanted someone to disrespect her a little. 

Chelsea deployed Lindsay as her personal honeypot, twerked at 2PM next to dad bods in windbreakers, and nearly climbed a 6'7" "super secret military pilot", who was actually pouring concrete and wearing the wrong shoes. 

Back home: the crock pot is empty because they forgot a can opener, their thongs got mixed in the laundry, and Lindsay showed up to a date still wearing her wedding ri...

Taylor Frankie Paul was supposed to be the Bachelorette. Then her baby daddy released a two-year-old video to TMZ right before premiere and blew up her life, her career, and apparently the entire Bachelor franchise with it. 

We talk about why Dakota is the villain nobody's holding accountable, why the internet keeps punishing the woman, and why ABC might actually be the most culpable party in this whole mess. 

Also: Chelsea's roommate threatened to throw her off the balcony, Lindsay had a win at work, and we discuss the celibacy scale (it's not what you th...

She said "I do"… and then found his cheating texts. 

Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay break down a real-life wedding that turned into a same-week divorce, have shiting your pants stories, and Chelsea has a personal connection the the FLDS and Warren Jeffs. 

Plus, parents sending a 3-page inheritance list, why red light therapy is a scam, smuggling mushroom capsules to Vegas, and Lindsay is being recruited for the FBI.

**It's a holiday weekend - enjoy a replay**Originally aired on April 13th*

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PSA: don't shove a banana up your butt and we have a genuinely solid sex trafficking prevention tip.

Lindsay cried at 5:30 on Friday, went out anyway, and became the belle of every bar. 

Chelsea discovered a $20 bimbo hypnosis app at 2AM and nearly crossed over.  (check out WhisperStories.com)

Good Good Golf thought body-checking a woman was great marketing. Is domestic violence ever funny? 

Someone asked if Christ could be the third in their threesome. And no, they have not hooked up. 

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Chelsea marks 16 years sober with zero presents and a formal complaint. She spends a weekend eye-fucking Aquaman at a lake party, watches her friend ask to do coke in front of someone's kids, and gets her legs aggressively complimented by a husband-wife team on a staircase. 

Who has been watching Disney princess porn?  And they also look up what cocaine feels like. 

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Chelsea smuggled a butcher knife out of her old apartment at 8 AM, drove through a school zone going 30 in a 20 with it stuffed in her boot, still high from yoga, and has decided to just leave it in the trail trash. 

Lindsay's Instagram algorithm is puppies and makeup. Chelsea's is full of girls making out and sex product ads. 

Chelsea posted her first foot photo at 2 AM with full production, lighting, lotion, angles. 

Lindsay is grieving physically, therapy wipes her out every Monday, and she wants to start dating like an Amish person: onc...

We know why men hate women, and it either has to do with the NFL or ladies being super tiny. We have a whole gym-bro breakdown and a pantsless yoga teacher. Plus: the wildest new friend group we've made yet (Tampa people, what is wrong with you??), the most dangerous left turn known to man, and a very important reminder that anger is an emotion and we're allowed to have it.

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How to break up in 5 minutes:

1. Start a podcast with your bestie 4 years ago
2. Talk about every aspect of your life and your feelings and life decisions.
3. Release the episode before you have a tough conversation with your husband not knowing he will listen to it.
4. Take a 5 minute walk in the park with your husband - guess how it goes from there.

Lindsay is feeling every emotion simultaneously, cried on the treadmill, and is figuring out laundry for the first time. 

Chelsea made the same bed ten times for a...

A psychic, a nipple, and six days of radio silence. 

Lindsay takes her first solo vacation. The psychic says full-time podcaster by end of year and rich in three. All while she accidentally flashes her nipple in a reel. Chelsea gains 2,500 followers. Chelsea is embracing the UGC life, kinda. The Cyber house has a nature trail and no TV. Everyone's snowglobe is shaken up.

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Lindsay just had her first therapy session, and it did not go the direction you'd expect. She's feeling a "solid friendship vibe" with her husb and her therapist says to shut down feelings and stick to facts. He called her in a time of need, Lindsay showed up with Chipotle, quietly packed her Nespresso machine into her purse, ate half his burrito while he was in the bathroom, and left. 

Meanwhile Cyber went quiet for three days and Chelsea and Lindsay confirmed the weird energy was real and they talked it out. 

Plus: living together qu...

Camel toe or moose knuckle? Should we infiltrate the MAGA influencers? WTF is up with Will Smith, and a fun game to play with your bestie.

Chapters


02:51 Parrots calling people P*ssies
05:54 Lindsay doesn't know how to buy bread
08:25 Camel Toe vs Moose Knuckle + Nipping Out
11:19 Feminism and Piers Morgan
16:22 MAGA Influencer Undercover Mission
19:06 Fun Game: How Well Do We Know Each Other?
22:48 Feng Shui for your Dead Dog
23:44 We need more hobbies
24:55 Chicken Tendies
26:57 Financial Irresponsibility 
28:47 Recycling is a Scam

Besties, we are NOT okay and we are LOVING it. This week Lindsay drops the bomb we did not see coming: she's having marriage issues and an identity crisis, she's moving out, and she is moving in with her partner in crime, Chelsea. Two dumb girls, one midlife crisis.

We're talking 2am doorbell rings, "sad and poor" era, delusional manifestation, and the exact moment we both decided to blow our whole lives up on purpose. I

Grab your ice cream and your emotional support bestie, because this one's a ride. 

S...

Spit or swallow? Eating babies, falling out of love, and get your butts checked.

**ORIGINAL AIR DATE 02/16/2026***

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IG: @honestlysmartless
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

She's moving out for real this time. After everything that went down with the roommate, Chelsea plays "reasons I'm excited to move out".

Cyber updates, a guy who hit on both of them in the same week, a rodeo night gone sideways, a Nordstrom shoe-shopping disaster that ends in a stolen display model, and a Father's Day email from Chelsea's mom that lands a little too perfectly timed. 

Porn preference debate nobody asked for and dating advice from a friend who leads with her credit score. 

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Knicks are champions. 

Lindsay called her husband fat in the car and immediately got dropped off. 

And after a weekend that escalated into the kind of night nobody should have to have, Chelsea is officially moving out and no one's poking her in the chest at 4am ever again. 

Chelsea and Cyber are thriving, a girls' night got fully hijacked by work nerds, Johnny learned some hard lessons about reading the room, and a very important back fat taxonomy that no one asked for but everyone needed.

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Parrot earrings from a dead woman's jewelry box, a homemade NA Paloma recipe, and the hottest guy in Denver showing up at Chelseas's work. 

Chelsea and Lindsay get into the wannabe Christian influencer who prays over his wife's period on TikTok, the couple who exposed their best friend's cheating boyfriend on camera and lost every friend they had (plus got pregnant in the middle of it), the AI fruit soap opera that's somehow 30 episodes deep, and a full spoiler-filled recap of Friends and Neighbors season 2. 

Line dancing dates, the bed rot challenge, chess lessons via Du...

Thirty days. Six dates. One thunderstorm. Chelsea finally spent the night and she's reporting back on everything. He had two candles going (one that sounds like a campfire), a playlist titled "Sex" that ChatGPT built for 49-year-olds, carried her to the bedroom, and woke up spooning until 9am. She went in sober so she could remember all of it. Then they went to Snooze for breakfast, ordered bacon cooked to their exact specifications, and shared strawberry shortcake pancakes. Chelsea is adored and she knows it. 

Plus he guy who keeps canceling and thinks he's testing her, Lindsay c...

At 11:30 Thursday night, someone said "pack your bags, we're going to Santa Fe" and somehow it worked. 

Chelsea and Lindsay recap their Memorial Day weekend road trip: a six-hour drive with a road trip game, a wet blanket who became a full participant once his best friend got involved, a last-minute room booking panic, a 7-year-old who didn't speak (lucky), five people nearly sharing one room, and Chelsea almost refusing to get out of the car at the sand dunes they drove hours to see. 

513 photos taken, 511 of Chelsea, one perfectly edited photo that turned ou...

Bobby Lee. Two makeouts. Front row. In front of everyone. 

Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay are joined by Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard — a Wisconsin podcast duo born out of steak nights, Leinenkugels, and too much free time during a pandemic. 

Dimples and Beard spent three nights at the Comedy Store in LA (8pm to 2am like absolute lunatics), walked away with a Bobby Lee makeout story, a Polly Shore hug on video, and a front-row review of Dane Cook's current state (verdict: rough). 

Why comedians are bad podcast guests, the penis pump batht...

A man offered Chelsea Aspen, Portugal and a yacht this summer. He is not younger or hotter, but Lindsay thinks she can get over that.

Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay catch up on two weeks of chaos. 

-Two Friends EDM show at Red Rocks where they felt ancient and 16-year-old who came for them

-Summer season situation where a well-connected older gentleman wants a plus one for every bougie event in Denver, except he knows her ex, her ex knows everyone in Denver, and no one will come near her because of it

He started comedy at 38, made $7 at his first show, framed it, and now women are running across ESPN Wide World of Sports screaming his name for a photo. Jay Yoder is that guy.

Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay sit down with comedian, viral cheer dad, former Latin teacher, and all-around big deal Jay Yoder for a conversation that covers everything. 

-How he quit teaching after 21 years when the school refused to give him six days off

-How a merch table rant at Cheer Nationals turned into 60,000 followers

-Why his daughter Alicia, w...

Vegas recap, a pickleball bronze medal, and a knee scrape that requires some explaining.

Vegas girls trip included karaoke, a wig flying off mid-Bohemian Rhapsody, nipple covers that took a layer of skin with them, and the bathtub situation that nobody came out of unscathed. 

Venus Guard, an anti-sexual assault device with barbs that nobody can figure out how to remove, and why that's both genius and a massive problem.

Red light yoga at CorePower is a money grab and a sensory nightmare, Lewis Hamilton only eats air and his body shows it, t...

Seven bags of hidden dog treats. A dining room chair wedged under the bedroom door. A half-hour sensual dog massage that accomplished absolutely nothing. Just a normal week in Chelsea's house.

Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay get into the full chaos of living with someone you don't trust. Secret treat stashes, the supplements that never get given, the "did you take your meds today" text that ends every argument and why leaving is never as simple as people make it sound. 

They also break down the Alex Cooper vs. Alex Earl situation, why Bethany Frankel needs t...

She said "I do"… and then found his cheating texts. 

Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay break down a real-life wedding that turned into a same-week divorce, have shiting your pants stories, and Chelsea has a personal connection the the FLDS and Warren Jeffs. 

Plus, parents sending a 3-page inheritance list, why red light therapy is a scam, smuggling mushroom capsules to Vegas, and Lindsay is being recruited for the FBI.

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Masters 2026, golf villains, $6 beers & the challenge of going analogue at the Masters. Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay sit down with Josh Decker, host of the Off the Deck Podcast, for a crash course on everything Masters week.

Josh breaks down why Augusta National is unlike any sporting event on the planet, who the good guys and bad guys are on tour (yes, golf has villains), what's actually on the menu at the Champions Dinner, and his bold prediction for this year's winner. Plus, the green jacket rules, payphones on the course, and why firm and fast is better...

A listener went on a first date, had a great time, and got a wedgie at the end of the night. We told her to go on the second date. 

We break down the TikTok algorithm and why female comedy podcasters can't catch a break, the Instagram influencer charging $5.99 to analyze your face shape (Lindsay's an iron, obviously), and Clavicular telling men to smoke crystal meth for more energy.

Plus: Tiger Woods and Trump, the moon mission's diversity casting, the pickleball Christian who cornered Lindsay for 20 minutes about having kids, parkour tag on ESPN Ocho, O...

We are in ranting mood, and no one is marked safe.

Chelsea also makes her triumphant return to ballet after 35 years, heals some childhood trauma along the way, and learns that pickleball and ballet have absolutely nothing in common. 

Tiger Woods' latest DUI, officially crowning him Black Jesus, and we wonder how many more lives this man actually has. 

Plus: an Autistic murder documentary, a Laguna Beach reboot nobody asked for, and a very real conversation about grief, estranged family, and showing up to a funeral looking cute.

The end.

...

Taylor Frankie Paul was supposed to be the Bachelorette. Then her baby daddy released a two-year-old video to TMZ right before premiere and blew up her life, her career, and apparently the entire Bachelor franchise with it. 

We talk about why Dakota is the villain nobody's holding accountable, why the internet keeps punishing the woman, and why ABC might actually be the most culpable party in this whole mess. 

Also: Chelsea's roommate threatened to throw her off the balcony, Lindsay had a win at work, and we discuss the celibacy scale (it's not what you th...

Full story of the guy with no car, wears sweatpants at 2:00 pm, has one Bass Pro Shop hat, and a suspicious lack of personal details. Chelsea let's her besties send the text to end it all.

Red pill manosphere men are making money by degrading women who give them clout, so Lindsay and Chelsea defend Only Fans, because they are real people too.

And bachelorette t-shirt nightmares and becoming professional fun -time - finders.

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474 days. Three nights. One cashmere blazer. Zero regrets.

Lindsay dared the universe to cancel her, and it was terrifying. 

Finance bros own 6.7 vests, Aaron Rodgers stays jacked specifically so his wife wants to f--- him, and a Netflix show is making light of men in power taking advantage of young women.

New episodes every week. Follow @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Support the show — link in show notes.

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Chelsea went on a second date four years ago and left after ten minutes because the man answered the door in house slippers and champion shorts. 

He's now reappeared three times, and this week he listened to the episode about himself, remembered everything we said, and cancelled Friday.

Also this week: Chelsea is convinced Jim Carrey has been cloned and replaced by a Hollywood operative. Lindsay thinks it's just bad Botox. We nearly didn't make it through this episode together.

Plus: Freebird as a song of choice during private times, the Call Her D...

Ellen the cannibal, edibles make Chelsea mouthy, and your friend is a dirty, ugly, trash slut.

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honestlysmartless.com
IG: @honestlysmartless
TikTok: @honestlysmartless
Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Spit or swallow? Eating babies, falling out of love, and get your butts checked.

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Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.

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honestlysmartless.com
IG: @honestlysmartless
TikTok: @honestlysmartless
Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

RIGGS!!!! Recapping our master manifesting skills, WM Sausage Fest, hot golfers and Savannah Guthrie's mommy.

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honestlysmartless.com
IG: @honestlysmartless
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Udders or mattress actress? Silent throuple retreat, learning what "scooping" is, and Paris Hilton is going to save the world.

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honestlysmartless.com
IG: @honestlysmartless
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

What is Bubbles up to? Chelsea's booty gains, Lindsay can't get Botox to save her life, and which side of the Beckham drama are you on?

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IG: @honestlysmartless
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Happy birthday Chelsea! We are taking this show on the road, 2016 is back, and the Autism Barbie hits a little too close to home.

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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Only Fans $6,000 course for free (you're welcome), Tom Brady should count his blessing for being seen with Alix Earle, gold bars in big books, and are we bad people?

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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Farkakte ozempic, pimping out pay pigs, Rockefeller/Kellogg conspiracy theory, and daddy issues.

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honestlysmartless.com
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless

Justin Timberlake, pickleball, Ozempic, Barstool, getting an agent and more highlights of 2025.

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honestlysmartless.com
IG: @honestlysmartless
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Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano
Lindsay's TT: @dr.lindsayregehr
YouTube:  Honestly Smartless