Co-Parent Dilemmas
There are at least two sides to every conflict, and when it's between divorced or separated parents, sparks can fly. In each episode, co-parenting experts Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles answer listener questions and talk about the benefits and risks of letting go vs. holding on to the conflict in a variety of complex topics facing co-parents today. Do you hold on for the sake of the children or let go for the same reason? Episodes are released every Sunday at noon. Listeners can email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com and pose a question/dilemma that may be answered on an upcoming...
S4.E48. Tell the Truth or Let Kids Discover It On Their Own?
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Listener Veronique shares that she is paying for all her children’s activities, but they have no idea their other parent is shirking his responsibility. Is this protecting the kids or hurting them? Will they just take advantage of mom if they don’t know it’s hard for her to bear this financial burden alone? Diane & Rick discuss that saying”no” to kids can be a healthy option. They also...
S4.E47. He Laughs at His Ability to Violate the Court Order
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Diane & Rick respond passionately to Danielle’s email about feeling the need to file a court case, knowing it will only embolden her co-parent to continue his campaign against her. They discuss the risks/benefits and the true dilemma she faces in making this very difficult decision. Also explored are the ways to navigate parenting while managing a legal battle.
LINKS MENTIONED ON TODAY’S EPISODE:
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S4.E46. Boundaries Matter - Even When You’re Cooperative!
Have a quick question to be explored on the show? Send us a text message! Include your email address if you would like a personal response. Click HERE
Listener Robert wants to know what an acceptable amount of co-parent communication is when two co-parents are getting along well. His recent relationship tanked when his girlfriend couldn’t abide his overly friendly interactions with his ex. Diane & Rick explore the need for boundaries and how kids can blame a new partner when the relationship between their parents is suddenly altered when one of them decides to move on.
S4.E45. ALIENATION - PART THREE: Time Can Heal the Protective Alienator
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Diane & Rick explore the possibilities of transforming the parental alienator when he/she grows emotionally over time. They discuss the importance of BOTH parents recognizing the passage of time and respecting their child’s developmental growth. The parent who accuses the other of alienation can have more responsibility in the process than they may be willing to concede.Â
If you are a divorce professional and interested in our...
S4.E44. ALIENATION - PART TWO: “My Mom Was an Alienator”: A Therapist Tells His Story
Have a quick question to be explored on the show? Send us a text message! Include your email address if you would like a personal response. Click HERE
Jake, a mental health professional, joins Diane & Rick on this episode to tell his story of dealing with narcissistic abuse and alienation from his mother growing up. They discuss how it felt to him as a teen, how he came to realize his mother’s disorder, and how he reconnected with his father, who represented Jake’s emotional place of safety. The hosts explore the importance of setting reasonable boun...
S4.E43. ALIENATION - PART ONE: Can the Alienator Be Rehabilitated?
Have a quick question to be explored on the show? Send us a text message! Include your email address if you would like a personal response. Click HERE
In part one of a three-part series on parental alienation, the hosts take a complicated look at the phrase "parental alienation" and what the various forms are. They discuss the oversimplification of this issue in the family court system, and the desensitization professionals experience as a result of it being over-used as a defense strategy. Part two of the series features an interview with an adult survivor of PA...
S4.E42. Practicing Real Anger Management
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Diane & Rick discuss the fallacies of traditional “anger management”. They also talk about different types and reasons for anger, and how it is important to respect the nuances, especially when dealing with an impossible parent. They explore the responsibilities co-parents have to manage anger appropriately for the sake of the children, and the dangers of allowing anger to fester before and after divorce.
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S4.E41. What to Do With the Impossible Step-Parent
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Listener Maria asks what she can do to run interference with her kids when their step-mother seems bent on turning them against their mom. Even dad has apologized to mom for his wife’s behavior, but he does little to make things better for the kids. Diane & Rick discuss what can and can’t be done when a person who is not a party to the legal parenting plan wreak...
S4.E40. Are You on a Mission for Peace or Revenge?: A Unique Look at Self Care
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Diane & Rick explore self care from the perspective of working on the root cause of co-parent stress, rather than treating the symptoms of the stress. They discuss it from the point of you of the divorce professional, as well as those in the midst of a toxic co-parent relationship. Also explored is the importance of understanding your process and developing a mission statement for your work or children.
S4.E39. Should Dad Hold On or Let Go of This Conflict?
Have a quick question to be explored on the show? Send us a text message! Include your email address if you would like a personal response. Click HERE
John asks the all-important question, “Should I fight?” Diane & Rick break down the risks and benefits of letting go vs. holding on to the conflict. They explore the complexity of balancing children’s needs with parental rights and conclude that so much depends on the type and temperament of the other parent.
S4.E34. is the show Diane refers to in this episode about how to dec...
