Co-Parent Dilemmas

15 Episodes
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By: Diane Dierks & Rick Voyles

There are at least two sides to every conflict, and when it's between divorced or separated parents, sparks can fly. In each episode, co-parenting experts Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles answer listener questions and talk about the benefits and risks of letting go vs. holding on to the conflict in a variety of complex topics facing co-parents today. Do you hold on for the sake of the children or let go for the same reason? Episodes are released every Sunday at noon. Listeners can email 1234Dilemma@gmail.com and pose a question/dilemma that may be answered on an upcoming...

S3.E12. The Ultimate Boundary for the Narcissist
#12
Last Sunday at 4:00 PM

Jenny shares her frustration with her narcissistic co-parent, who would rather she disappear than exercise her parenting time. But Jenny isn’t giving up, despite her physical limitations due to a brain injury. Diane & Rick share powerful words of encouragement for Jenny and anyone who is willing to think of what children need instead of how to combat the narcissism. They remind listeners that custody does not equal good parenting. The ultimate boundary for Jenny has already been achieved.

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S3.E11. But Things Were Going So Well! Enter the girlfriend…
#11
03/19/2023

Chris writes in and says things were going very well for him and his co-parent until he started dating seriously after several years post divorce. He did everything right, but now things have gone horribly wrong. What is happening to his co-parent relationship? Diane & Rick break it down.

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S3.E10. Help! I’m Stuck Between a Borderline Co-Parent and an Enraged Spouse
#10
03/12/2023

Diane & Rick address John’s email about how to help his 16-year-old son when he and the son are stuck between mom and step-mom’s conflict. Discussed in this episode are ways to build a relationship with a teen who isolates to avoid conflict and the importance of strengthening the marital bond to deal with the stresses of a blended family.

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S3.E9. Is it Worth Going to Court?
#9
03/05/2023

How do you know when it’s a good idea to seek the court’s help with co-parenting issues? Diane & Rick discuss four things to consider as they process listener Jess’s questions about her uncooperative co-parent. She was hoping he would be more agreeable after divorce, but is finding that he shuts down every request, including moving from homeschooling to public education for their young daughter.

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S3.E8. What to Do with All That Anger! Putting your narcissistic co-parent in perspective
#8
02/26/2023

Kelvin rants about how his narcissistic co-parent steals his credit as a parent and is constantly inserting herself into his life. He asks what he should do with all of his anger. Diane & Rick explore managing expectations, finding humor in the narcissist personality, and visualization techniques to manage negative emotions in the present.

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Coming soon: Friday, March 17
12:00...


S3.E7. Romance and Co-Parenting: It’s Complicated!
#7
02/19/2023

Eva emails the show and asks how to move forward with the love of her life and maintain both of their children’s school and activity schedules. The issue is, they live 90 minutes apart from one another. In order to move in together, they either must get their co-parents to agree to a custody change or put their dreams on hold. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of prioritizing children’s needs even if that means putting personal desires aside for a time.

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S3.E6. The Impossible Dilemma
#6
02/12/2023

Bethany calls in with a frustrating dilemma, and Jeff emails about a similar frustration. Diane & Rick discuss how difficult it is to be placed in a position of choosing your own peace vs. your child’s emotional welfare. This seemingly impossible dilemma is quite common among high conflict co-parents, and it requires a logical view of multiple variables to makes sense of what feels senseless.

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S3.E5. My Dad’s Gonna Buy Me a Car!
#5
02/05/2023

Therapist Carol poses a question about a client’s narcissistic co-parent, who apparently wants to buy his 14-year-old’s love. Diane & Rick explore the complications of weaning from the parent/child bond in the teen years, as well as what to say to the teen, and maybe the other parent about this so-called promise.

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Coming soon: Friday, March 17
...


S3.E4. She’s Moving in with Her Lover!
#4
01/29/2023

Gary wonders what custody plan can work for his two young children, given that their mother plans to move in with someone she had an affair with, who is a foster parent to four children. Diane & Rick discuss how to manage living in the same house during an angry divorce process and what to do when you have no faith the other parent will step up and be responsible.

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S3.E3. My Baby's Too Young for Sleepovers!
#3
01/22/2023

A listener wonders if an infant should have overnight visits with the father while she is breastfeeding. Diane and Rick explore this common concern and discuss what is important at this tender age of development.

For a deeper look into what the research says about parenting plans and very young children, follow this LINK.

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...


S3.E2. Manipulation or Child Abuse: How Do You Know for Sure?
#2
01/15/2023

Diane & Rick address a difficult listener question about child abuse. Jennifer’s 5-year-old son doesn’t want to see  his dad because dad is abusing him. Mom is worried about her son and wonders if she should withhold custody or make him go.

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Coming soon: Friday, March 17

12:00-1:30

The Freedom of Pl...


S3.E1. “Am I an Impossible Co-Parent?”: You might be if…
#1
01/08/2023

A listener surprisingly asks if his ex might be right about him. Maybe he IS an impossible co-parent after all! Diane and Rick address this unusual question in a Jeff Foxworthy style - You might be an impossible co-parent if…

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The print-version of theI Am Non-Impossible journal is NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon for a limited-time price of only...


BONUS: Why So Bitter After All These Years?
01/01/2023

In this replay of a 2022 episode (S1:E52), Diane & Rick talk about the personal value of forgiveness and the destruction of hanging on to bitterness. Listener Carolina wonders how it is possible to co-parent with someone who is such a bad actor. As usual, the hosts talk about what matters to the kids.

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The print-version of theI Am Non-Impossible...


BONUS: A Kid with Two Homes: A Discussion with Bella Duncan
12/25/2022

In this replay of a 2021 episode (S1:E16), Diane & Rick address a listener dilemma about sticking to the parenting plan or being flexible with weekend time. Australian Blogger Bella Duncan (www.akidwithtwohomes.com), a child of divorce, weighs in with how kids feel about living in a high-conflict parenting situation and gives advice about seeing things from the child’s point of view.

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The pr...


BONUS: Doctor Office Drama - Slaying the Conflict D.R.A.G.O.N.
12/18/2022

In this replay of episode S1:E65, Diane and Rick discuss an email from Thomas in Ontario, who shares his dilemma about attending his toddler’s doctors appointments, while having to endure his co-parent’s drama or failure to inform him. Diane and Rick use the process outlined in their new journal (DRAGON) to unpack this complicated conflict and teach Thomas how to think differently about it.

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