Toast & Roast

40 Episodes

By: Geoffrey Chong, Georgie Cooke

Join Geoff and Georgie as they rant through life’s greatest First World Problems, every Monday! We aim to entertain by being brutally honest and unfiltered, but at the same time being genuine and respectful. If you want to eavesdrop on two people “talking shit”, we are the podcast for you.

Peering into our neighbour's apartments

Discovering that melting and dissolving are two separate things, an intercom that you will never lose the key for, and causally watching our neighbouring apartments.

Can't find the right place to stay

Can't get away from the cold and chores, like washing clothes, cause Airbnb's new design is so bad we can't find anywhere to go for a good price.

Ooh la la!

We have roasted a couple of controversial things and skated on thin ice in the past, but for the first time we delve into what may be questionably NSFW (not safe for work). Mature audiences only. Discussions on the definitoon of "child-like appearances" in context of "child porn"  but feel free to skip to  8:30 for more suacy topics like FWP changing to Windows and making websites work witout JavaScript.

Books vs Movies

We debate the age old topic, “are the books better than the movies”? In which ex-bookworm Georgie chides Geoff for not knowing that The Great Gatsby is a book, additionally we both argue over how long or short a chapter in a book is “allowed” to be  and we smoothly transition into an update about the mould in Geoff’s place.

Damp Rid:\_p4470041


The Great Gatsby (Book):\_Great\_GatsbyThe Great Gatsby (Movie): 2021 (Movie): https://www...

6 × 9 = 42: The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything

We discover the lies they told us about Monopoly rules in our childhood, and ponder the intricacies of how exactly different people add numbers in their head, and debate over how to measure an apparent pinch of salt.

Disclaimer: The fact that we talked about mathematics in episode 42 was entirely unplanned. Find out more about why 42 is the answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything: 

Monopoly: rankings: Stars meme: Tw...

In which a tick means “incorrect”

Escaping the sun's rays and counting our lucky stars that we don't vlog every day of our lives. We also learn about Georgie’s first ever job.

Casey Neistat: Sunglass Hut: Gentle Monster sunglasses: Kumon:

Universities mentioned in Australia:

University of Western Australia (UWA)University of Sydney (USYD)University of Technology, Sydney (UTS)Western Sydney University (WSU)—previously University of Western Sydney (UWS)Australian National University (ANU)

Publishing this episode was definitely automated

We question the security of our technology and react to a few stories about scammers, hackers and even a case of a personal friend's identity theft. Stay digitally safe out there everyone.

Man’s phone is stolen and he finds photos of a man with an orange tree, “I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life”: Honan’s story of being hacked in 2012, “How Apple and Amazon Security Flaws Led to My Epic Hacking”: about booking webs...

In which we make a dozen tangents

An episode of boundless tangents starting from "everyday" cults, trusting the people who make the things we need, and an adventure of collecting surcharges as Geoff and his partner attempt to grocery shop.

Is a hotdog a sandwich? TL;DL: Yes.

Should tweets have an edit button? Hotdogs are sandwiches, but is sushi a sandwich? What other clickbait do we need to save each other from?

Geoff’s plant growing out of the drain photo: Damn You Autocorrect (has not been updated in a while): https://www.damnyouautocorrect.comKnow Your Meme:“how is prangent formed?” – typos on Yahoo answers (this was the “pregnant typo meme” Georgie mentioned): rating meme: Sandwich alignment chart: https://i0.wp...

Download this podcast episode before your next flight

Can you survive a flight without being connected to the internet? Will you surrender your phone to enjoy a meal with your significant other? Have we escaped an escape room together and what was our lost episode 10 really about? Perhaps there's more questions than answers?

The Mill, San Francisco: http://www.themillsf.comThe Grounds, Sydney: Gidley: You Name a Country on Jimmy Kimmel: Singaporean Student Hard Carries His Team On UK TV Quiz Show:

Just two normies on a podcast

Geoff talks a bit about his parents’ annual visit and some rules his dad used to have about travelling and social media, Georgie is going to lose her silver frequent flyer status, and we touch on some advice for freelancing as a web dev.


Document Object Model: 

Can't clean for shit

Geoff wonders whom he would trust to move his television (if anyone), and Georgie shares her recent experience moving and contemplating saying goodbye to the building cleaner.

Shooting your taxes in the foot

We hit a trifecta with topics from using a trackpad or mouse, shifting gears to overtly violent movie series and how a particular part of tax works. If a variety show is what you wanted, well we got it.

Your idol doesn’t owe you shit

Why voyeurism of celebs/people is natural, but attacking them is bad... Followed by our repeating segment on how social media is rotten and how we switch off at the end of the day.

Weightlifting stolen PS5's

Battling through Sydney's terrible weather to go visit a maritime museum along with tangents on shady removalists and learning how world records work.

Note: Georgie is mistaken, Rory can clean jerk ~42kg, but deadlift 80kg. 

Maritime Museum Sydney/muSEAum: https://www.sea.museumHeaviest weight lifted by turkish get-up in 1 hour: van Ulft Instagram:

Glorified camping, or dated carpet, take your pick

The World islands in Dubai: Cove glamping: bathhouse in Blue Mountains: in Balmain: https://www.ryokangojyuan.comVenusFort, Odaiba Tokyo: Venetian in Las Vegas: https://www.venetianlasvegas.comICEHOUSE – Electric Blue: Joe: interior: / Acca Dacca:

CBD: Central Beach District

Cremorne, Sydney:,_New_South_WalesLa Perouse, Sydney:,_New_South_WalesPlasticine: game: Nerdle (mathematical spin-off of Wordle): BODMAS (order of operations): 

Broken conspiracies and weird social media

The story of the lost warranty repair, and a very non-scientific discussion about the conspiracy behind planned obsolescences. Not to mention we tangent into how social networks are weird, but work related social networks are even weirder.

Memoji on Apple support site: fakes: filters:’s blog post, “Healing from toxic hackathon culture”:

The next big scam party

Get out your second monitor cause the list of references is numerous in this episode! Everything from an impossible music festival, to a theme-park-island based on crypto currencies that may not exist, all the way to the quiet lives of retired famous musicians and watching cheese age. Certainly a variety episode with many twists and turns!

Fyre Festival: (2019) documentary: We Were Young Festival: http://whenwewereyoungfestival.comLive Nation/Travis Scott article: – Pom...

Tanning by the fireworks

We talk about strange tan lines and overrated fireworks experiences, decide to never be stuck on a boat even with people we know, before cringing at moments of forced socialising and bad marriage proposals.

Mosman/Balmoral Beach: Year, New You: & Nick’s proposal picture:

New year, same podcast

After a short few seasons greetings, we return to our same unscripted podcast talking about addicting mobile games, getting banned from online video games, online reselling horror stories, super ironic money art being sold as NFTs and physical pieces.

Wordle: Swap: https://www.neopets.comGenshin Impact: Hotel: https://habbo.comMeme bank: https://www.memebank.liveRed Hongyi:

Merry Shitmas

A time for giving of ANY kind as we give the gift of why you shouldn't give gifts.

Not sponsored at all:

Overrated shopping malls and Malaysian delights

Growing up near the “second CBD of Sydney”, revisiting it after many developments, getting lost in shopping malls and a unique Malaysian experience in Sydney.


Video social media is going down the tubes

Old school YouTube channels turning into mega corporations with boring videos, the cost of unique holiday experiences, and glorified simplicities.



Vlogbrothers (still going strong!):


Alex Day (so we found out after the fact that Alex Day was involved in some...

The pitfalls of hiking

Taking a weekend road trip, the perils of driving slightly tired in the past and the dangers of hiking for the gram.
Content warning: mentions of suicide.


Sea cliff bridge:

Deaths at the illegal hike:

Dragon Back hike:

Victoria Peak:

Georgie’s hike in Kaliurang: htt...

We are definitely not car people

Content warning: There are some recounts of driving related accidents and anxiety in this episode.

Two “I’m not a car person” people talk about cars, learning to drive, and road incidents that have shaken them. And not a single mention of parallel parking.

Parramatta Road:
Egg yolk in mouse joke:

Introverts and clubs do not mix

We can't emphasise how much we dislike going to clubs and participating in pointless social holidays. 

April Fool’s Day:'_Day 


Silent discos:

The taste of video game victory

We discuss our histories of video games, PCs, consoles, and Macs; about how this podcast isn’t going anywhere; about the taste of soap and glue; and – true to form – talk about toasters and revisit the crumpet story.

Wildfire Swap:
Duke Nukem 3D:
Quake series:
King’s Quest:
Harvest Moon:

What’s in a name?

The age old trials of communicating our names to people. Geoff with a G, Georgie with an i-e. What do our names mean, where did they come from, and how.

“Mark with a C”:
AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur'stylle (Chrystal)?:
Having a non-white name (ProZD):
How to name your baby properly (vlogbrothers): https://yout...

FOMO isn’t real

Expensive concert tickets, trying to nab a PS5, trying not to fangirl at your first ever gig, and RIP iPod Classic. Let Georgie know if you got tickets to The Wiggles. Which band do you want to see reunite?

The Wiggles:
Armor For Sleep:
Ben Jorgensen:
Hey Geronimo:
Endless Heights...

We’ve been eating crumpets wrong our whole lives

How we go from piercings to food could be called an art. We go further than we have before with gastronomy: “correct” ways of eating things, Georgie’s emphatic response to an ill-tasting beverage, how Geoff tries to be healthy, toast spreads, bread thicker than a pile of pancakes, and educate Geoff on how to cook a soft-boiled egg. Get ready for some (literally) hot takes.

Arnotts Shapes biscuits:
Types of ear piercings:
Pips Doughnuts Portland:
Top Juice: https://www.topjui...

When your hairdresser leaves you

This episode: Geoff suffers (once again) at the hands of incompetent delivery service, Georgie gets ghosted by her eyebrow-lady, Geoff says goodbye to sandwich shop owners and who is Sean?

No notes to be seen, as its an entirely original story based episode!

A day in the life of reselling our shit

Somehow managed to stay on topic for 90% of this episode, as we dive into the good and the bad and the questionable experiences we've had reselling our items on various platforms.

Macbook vertical dock:


Island in the sun, by Weezer:

We can't recollect stories for shit

We start strong with some movie references, but quickly tangent into a conversation about how people find it difficult to recollect traumatic memories, let alone correctly recollect regular stories... Which extends into us attempting to recollect phones we used to own. Full disclaimer: none of what we talk about may be correct in the slightest.

22 Jump street:
IT “hey Georgie”:

Geoff’s old Phones:
Nokia N97:
HTC Desire HD: https...

Customer service from hell

Georgie finally tells us why she hates ASOS, customer services and how we're offended as software engineers for being told we can't use software.

Also, Georgie happens to be looking for a denim skirt (4 years later) on eBay, but her budget is probably $36.

Advertising works too well sometimes

How we are sucked into advertising, jingles, chocolate and a strange fixated obsession with how this smart water jug on Kickstarter works.

Toyota Hilux advertisement:

“Killing a Toyota Hilux” on Top Gear:
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:

Aeroplane Jelly:

Some fancy ass pitcher/jug:

Washing machine total carnage:


Crazy Inclusive Asians

The inevitable episode on TV Shows and Movies, covering questions everyone's been asking like: Why Georgie really doesn’t like movies, never finished watching Breaking Bad, and knows the entire dialogue to Terminator 2; and why Geoff likes durians except when they’re flying across screens. The real ep. 10

Georgie has only seen 20 movies in a theatre in her life ( Listing them all because it’s purely amusing that she can list them, most people probably can’t tbh.

A Bug’s Life (1998)Madeline (1998)Treasure Planet (2002)Charlie’s Angels 2 (2003)Troy (2004)Robots (2005)Failure to Launch (200...

Let musicians be artists

As per usual, we span a range of topics this week: kicking off with The Wiggles (a kids entertainment group), then diving into what music/hip hop has become and how artists evolve with their music, live concert experiences and all the way down to toilet talk.

The Wiggles (in case you don’t know who they are!)

The Wiggles covering Tame Impala’s “Elephant” on Like a Version:

Gucci Gang:

The end of journalism

Geoff and Georgie react and discuss an arguably sensationalist article, dumping on everything from outrage tactics, to unfair criticisms of internet interactions, and yes even Kim & Kanye feature in this episode.

Hot topic article:

Influencers produce nothing

Touching on some strange usage of the term "Minimalism", getting into Social Media/Influencers and meeting people from the internet! P.S Geoff thinks he recorded on the wrong microphone lol...

Sustainable underwear (scroll to bottom): Dilemma Netflix: Female Japanese Biker Turns Out To Be 50-Year-Old Man With FaceApp: on Instagram: on Instagram:’s blog (so you can say “hey I read your blog”)