Toast & Roast

40 Episodes
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By: Geoffrey Chong, Georgie Cooke

Join Geoff and Georgie as they rant through life’s greatest First World Problems, every Monday! We aim to entertain by being brutally honest and unfiltered, but at the same time being genuine and respectful. If you want to eavesdrop on two people “talking shit”, we are the podcast for you.

Peering into our neighbour's apartments
#46
06/12/2022

Discovering that melting and dissolving are two separate things, an intercom that you will never lose the key for, and causally watching our neighbouring apartments.

https://www.education.vic.gov.au/school/teachers/teachingresources/discipline/science/continuum/Pages/meltdissolve.aspx


Can't find the right place to stay
#45
06/05/2022

Can't get away from the cold and chores, like washing clothes, cause Airbnb's new design is so bad we can't find anywhere to go for a good price.

https://www.airbnb.com.auhttps://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-clean-maintain-cast-iron-pan-skillet-cookware


Ooh la la!
#44
05/29/2022

We have roasted a couple of controversial things and skated on thin ice in the past, but for the first time we delve into what may be questionably NSFW (not safe for work). Mature audiences only. Discussions on the definitoon of "child-like appearances" in context of "child porn"  but feel free to skip to  8:30 for more suacy topics like FWP changing to Windows and making websites work witout JavaScript.

https://www.instagram.com/petitesluxures/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burlesquehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zettai_ry%C5%8Dikihttps://www.duolingo.com/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx7FL...


Books vs Movies
#43
05/22/2022

We debate the age old topic, “are the books better than the movies”? In which ex-bookworm Georgie chides Geoff for not knowing that The Great Gatsby is a book, additionally we both argue over how long or short a chapter in a book is “allowed” to be  and we smoothly transition into an update about the mould in Geoff’s place.

Damp Rid: https://www.bunnings.com.au/damprid-300g-refillable-moisture-absorber\_p4470041

Boks/Movies

The Great Gatsby (Book): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Great\_GatsbyThe Great Gatsby (Movie): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1343092/Dune 2021 (Movie): https://www...


6 × 9 = 42: The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything
#42
05/15/2022

We discover the lies they told us about Monopoly rules in our childhood, and ponder the intricacies of how exactly different people add numbers in their head, and debate over how to measure an apparent pinch of salt.

Disclaimer: The fact that we talked about mathematics in episode 42 was entirely unplanned. Find out more about why 42 is the answer to The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything: https://hitchhikers.fandom.com/wiki/42 

Monopoly: https://www.monopolyland.com/monopoly-house-rules/University rankings: https://www.topuniversities.com/university-rankings/world-university-rankings/2021Shooting Stars meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shooting-stars Tw...


In which a tick means “incorrect”
#41
05/08/2022

Escaping the sun's rays and counting our lucky stars that we don't vlog every day of our lives. We also learn about Georgie’s first ever job.

Casey Neistat: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casey_Neistat Sunglass Hut: https://www.sunglasshut.com/au Gentle Monster sunglasses: https://www.gentlemonster.com/int/ Kumon: https://www.kumon.com

Universities mentioned in Australia:

University of Western Australia (UWA)University of Sydney (USYD)University of Technology, Sydney (UTS)Western Sydney University (WSU)—previously University of Western Sydney (UWS)Australian National University (ANU)


Publishing this episode was definitely automated
#40
05/01/2022

We question the security of our technology and react to a few stories about scammers, hackers and even a case of a personal friend's identity theft. Stay digitally safe out there everyone.

Man’s phone is stolen and he finds photos of a man with an orange tree, “I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life”: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/i-followed-my-stolen-iphone-across-the-world-became-a-celebrMat Honan’s story of being hacked in 2012, “How Apple and Amazon Security Flaws Led to My Epic Hacking”: https://www.wired.com/2012/08/apple-amazon-mat-honan-hacking/Tweet about booking webs...


In which we make a dozen tangents
#39
04/24/2022

An episode of boundless tangents starting from "everyday" cults, trusting the people who make the things we need, and an adventure of collecting surcharges as Geoff and his partner attempt to grocery shop.


Is a hotdog a sandwich? TL;DL: Yes.
#38
04/17/2022

Should tweets have an edit button? Hotdogs are sandwiches, but is sushi a sandwich? What other clickbait do we need to save each other from?

Geoff’s plant growing out of the drain photo: https://www.instagram.com/p/CcHfTPkL7Q-/ Damn You Autocorrect (has not been updated in a while): https://www.damnyouautocorrect.comKnow Your Meme: https://knowyourmeme.com“how is prangent formed?” – typos on Yahoo answers (this was the “pregnant typo meme” Georgie mentioned): https://youtu.be/EShUeudtaFgr/savedyouaclick: https://www.reddit.com/r/savedyouaclick/5/7 rating meme: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/fight-club-57-movie Sandwich alignment chart: https://i0.wp...


Download this podcast episode before your next flight
#37
04/10/2022

Can you survive a flight without being connected to the internet? Will you surrender your phone to enjoy a meal with your significant other? Have we escaped an escape room together and what was our lost episode 10 really about? Perhaps there's more questions than answers?

The Mill, San Francisco: http://www.themillsf.comThe Grounds, Sydney: https://thegrounds.com.auBistecca: https://www.bistecca.com.au/The Gidley: https://www.thegidley.com.auCan You Name a Country on Jimmy Kimmel: https://youtu.be/kRh1zXFKC_o Singaporean Student Hard Carries His Team On UK TV Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/s...


Just two normies on a podcast
#36
03/27/2022

Geoff talks a bit about his parents’ annual visit and some rules his dad used to have about travelling and social media, Georgie is going to lose her silver frequent flyer status, and we touch on some advice for freelancing as a web dev.

 

Document Object Model: https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/API/Document_Object_Model 


Can't clean for shit
#35
03/20/2022

Geoff wonders whom he would trust to move his television (if anyone), and Georgie shares her recent experience moving and contemplating saying goodbye to the building cleaner.


Shooting your taxes in the foot
#34
03/13/2022

We hit a trifecta with topics from using a trackpad or mouse, shifting gears to overtly violent movie series and how a particular part of tax works. If a variety show is what you wanted, well we got it.


Your idol doesn’t owe you shit
#33
03/06/2022

Why voyeurism of celebs/people is natural, but attacking them is bad... Followed by our repeating segment on how social media is rotten and how we switch off at the end of the day.


Weightlifting stolen PS5's
#32
02/27/2022

Battling through Sydney's terrible weather to go visit a maritime museum along with tangents on shady removalists and learning how world records work.

Note: Georgie is mistaken, Rory can clean jerk ~42kg, but deadlift 80kg. https://www.arre.co.in/people/strongest-girl-in-the-world-rory-van-ulft-lift-7-year-old-weightlifting/ 

Maritime Museum Sydney/muSEAum: https://www.sea.museumHeaviest weight lifted by turkish get-up in 1 hour: https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/661937-heaviest-weight-lifted-by-turkish-get-up-in-one-hour-femaleRory van Ulft Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roryvanulft/


Glorified camping, or dated carpet, take your pick
#31
02/20/2022

The World islands in Dubai: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_(archipelago)Lane Cove glamping: https://www.nationalparks.nsw.gov.au/camping-and-accommodation/accommodation/lane-cove-glampingJapanese bathhouse in Blue Mountains: https://www.japanesebathhouse.com.auRyokan in Balmain: https://www.ryokangojyuan.comVenusFort, Odaiba Tokyo: https://www.venusfort.co.jp/multi/index_e.htmlThe Venetian in Las Vegas: https://www.venetianlasvegas.comICEHOUSE – Electric Blue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUFOVu1CurMEskimo Joe: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eskimo_JoeRSL interior: https://katoombarsl.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/302-KATOOMBA-RSL-INTERIORS-COPYRIGHT-MICHAEL-SMALL.jpgACDC / Acca Dacca: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AC/DC


CBD: Central Beach District
#30
02/13/2022

Cremorne, Sydney: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cremorne,_New_South_WalesLa Perouse, Sydney: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Perouse,_New_South_WalesPlasticine: https://www.imaginated.com/art-glossary/what-is-plasticine/Wordle game: https://www.powerlanguage.co.uk/wordle/ Nerdle (mathematical spin-off of Wordle): https://nerdlegame.com BODMAS (order of operations): https://byjus.com/maths/what-is-bodmas/ 


Broken conspiracies and weird social media
#29
02/06/2022

The story of the lost warranty repair, and a very non-scientific discussion about the conspiracy behind planned obsolescences. Not to mention we tangent into how social networks are weird, but work related social networks are even weirder.

Memoji on Apple support site: https://support.apple.com/en-au/HT208986Deep fakes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DeepfakeAtlassian: https://www.atlassian.com/companyZoom filters: https://blog.zoom.us/filters-reactions-lighting-features-zoom-meetings-2/Georgie’s blog post, “Healing from toxic hackathon culture”: https://hey.georgie.nu/healing/Polywork: https://www.polywork.com/


The next big scam party
#28
01/30/2022

Get out your second monitor cause the list of references is numerous in this episode! Everything from an impossible music festival, to a theme-park-island based on crypto currencies that may not exist, all the way to the quiet lives of retired famous musicians and watching cheese age. Certainly a variety episode with many twists and turns!

Fyre Festival: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fyre_FestivalFyre (2019) documentary: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9412098/Cryptoland: https://blog.mollywhite.net/cryptoland-thread/When We Were Young Festival: http://whenwewereyoungfestival.comLive Nation/Travis Scott article: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/travis-scott-live-nation-astroworld-lawsuit-denial-1267549/Bastille – Pom...


Tanning by the fireworks
#27
01/23/2022

We talk about strange tan lines and overrated fireworks experiences, decide to never be stuck on a boat even with people we know, before cringing at moments of forced socialising and bad marriage proposals.

Mosman/Balmoral Beach: https://www.sydney.com/destinations/sydney/sydney-north/mosman/balmoral-beachNew Year, New You: https://youtu.be/Xg-KNN1KkRsFiumelatte: https://www.lakecomo.is/fiumelatte/Georgie & Nick’s proposal picture: https://www.instagram.com/p/BHAy5zuGVFA/


New year, same podcast
#26
01/16/2022

After a short few seasons greetings, we return to our same unscripted podcast talking about addicting mobile games, getting banned from online video games, online reselling horror stories, super ironic money art being sold as NFTs and physical pieces.

Wordle: https://www.powerlanguage.co.uk/wordle/Wildfire Swap: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1216030/Wildfire_Swap/Neopets: https://www.neopets.comGenshin Impact: https://genshin.mihoyo.com/en/Habbo Hotel: https://habbo.comMeme bank: https://www.memebank.liveRed Hongyi: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Hong_Yi


Merry Shitmas
#25
12/19/2021

A time for giving of ANY kind as we give the gift of why you shouldn't give gifts.

Not sponsored at all: https://www.malwarebytes.com


Overrated shopping malls and Malaysian delights
#24
12/12/2021

Growing up near the “second CBD of Sydney”, revisiting it after many developments, getting lost in shopping malls and a unique Malaysian experience in Sydney.

Parramatta: https://goo.gl/maps/zXpAG6GnfY4AXoR88
Durian: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian


Video social media is going down the tubes
#23
12/05/2021

Old school YouTube channels turning into mega corporations with boring videos, the cost of unique holiday experiences, and glorified simplicities.

ProZD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bre0moeCMFUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66CaiSf7oykhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgsDt_y8CC0

psych2go:
https://www.youtube.com/c/Psych2go

Vlogbrothers (still going strong!):
https://www.youtube.com/c/vlogbrothers

Smosh:
https://www.youtube.com/c/smosh

Alex Day (so we found out after the fact that Alex Day was involved in some...


The pitfalls of hiking
#22
11/28/2021

Taking a weekend road trip, the perils of driving slightly tired in the past and the dangers of hiking for the gram.
Content warning: mentions of suicide.

Fiumelatte: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiumelatte_(river) 

Sea cliff bridge: https://www.visitnsw.com/destinations/south-coast/wollongong-and-surrounds/stanwell-park/attractions/sea-cliff-bridge

Deaths at the illegal hike: https://www.illawarramercury.com.au/story/5676722/thrillseekers-taking-selfies-at-site-of-sea-cliff-bridge-tragedy/

Dragon Back hike: https://www.discoverhongkong.com/anz/explore/great-outdoor/dragons-back.html

Victoria Peak: https://www.thepeak.com.hk/en

Georgie’s hike in Kaliurang: htt...


We are definitely not car people
#21
11/21/2021

Content warning: There are some recounts of driving related accidents and anxiety in this episode.

Two “I’m not a car person” people talk about cars, learning to drive, and road incidents that have shaken them. And not a single mention of parallel parking.

Parramatta Road: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parramatta_Road
Egg yolk in mouse joke: https://www.boredpanda.com/older-people-trolling-young-computer-mouse-hardboiled-egg-hack/


Introverts and clubs do not mix
#20
11/14/2021

We can't emphasise how much we dislike going to clubs and participating in pointless social holidays. 

April Fool’s Day: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools'_Day 

Halloween: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween

Silent discos: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silent_disco


The taste of video game victory
#19
11/07/2021

We discuss our histories of video games, PCs, consoles, and Macs; about how this podcast isn’t going anywhere; about the taste of soap and glue; and – true to form – talk about toasters and revisit the crumpet story.

Wildfire Swap: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1216030/Wildfire_Swap/
Duke Nukem 3D: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_Nukem_3D
Quake series: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quake_(series)
King’s Quest: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King%27s_Quest
Spyro: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spyro
Harvest Moon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvest...


What’s in a name?
#18
10/31/2021

The age old trials of communicating our names to people. Geoff with a G, Georgie with an i-e. What do our names mean, where did they come from, and how.

“Mark with a C”: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/72l5xj/mark_with_a_c/
AITA for changing my name? my parents named me Qur'stylle (Chrystal)?: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g1bn71/aita_for_changing_my_name_my_parents_named_me/
Having a non-white name (ProZD): https://youtu.be/p1RKkRCiU90
How to name your baby properly (vlogbrothers): https://yout...


FOMO isn’t real
#17
10/24/2021

Expensive concert tickets, trying to nab a PS5, trying not to fangirl at your first ever gig, and RIP iPod Classic. Let Georgie know if you got tickets to The Wiggles. Which band do you want to see reunite?

The Wiggles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wiggles
AKB48: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/AKB48
Armor For Sleep: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armor_for_Sleep
Ben Jorgensen: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Jorgensen
Hey Geronimo: http://www.heygeronimo.com
Anberlin: https://youtu.be/4Ba_qTPA4Ds
Endless Heights...


We’ve been eating crumpets wrong our whole lives
#16
10/17/2021

How we go from piercings to food could be called an art. We go further than we have before with gastronomy: “correct” ways of eating things, Georgie’s emphatic response to an ill-tasting beverage, how Geoff tries to be healthy, toast spreads, bread thicker than a pile of pancakes, and educate Geoff on how to cook a soft-boiled egg. Get ready for some (literally) hot takes.

Arnotts Shapes biscuits: https://www.arnotts.com/products/shapes
Types of ear piercings: https://piercee.com/ear-piercing/
Pips Doughnuts Portland: http://www.pipsmobile.com
Top Juice: https://www.topjui...


When your hairdresser leaves you
#15
10/03/2021

This episode: Geoff suffers (once again) at the hands of incompetent delivery service, Georgie gets ghosted by her eyebrow-lady, Geoff says goodbye to sandwich shop owners and who is Sean?

No notes to be seen, as its an entirely original story based episode!


A day in the life of reselling our shit
#14
09/26/2021

Somehow managed to stay on topic for 90% of this episode, as we dive into the good and the bad and the questionable experiences we've had reselling our items on various platforms.

Airpods: https://www.apple.com/au/airpods/
Macbook vertical dock: https://www.brydge.com.au/products/macbook-vertical-dock

Gumtree: gumtree.com.au

Island in the sun, by Weezer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erG5rgNYSdk


We can't recollect stories for shit
#13
09/19/2021

We start strong with some movie references, but quickly tangent into a conversation about how people find it difficult to recollect traumatic memories, let alone correctly recollect regular stories... Which extends into us attempting to recollect phones we used to own. Full disclaimer: none of what we talk about may be correct in the slightest.

22 Jump street: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkBx0gMGuhY
IT “hey Georgie”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUscbH7EbeE

Geoff’s old Phones:
Nokia N97: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nokia_N97
HTC Desire HD: https...


Customer service from hell
#12
09/12/2021

Georgie finally tells us why she hates ASOS, customer services and how we're offended as software engineers for being told we can't use software.

Also, Georgie happens to be looking for a denim skirt (4 years later) on eBay, but her budget is probably $36.

Asos.com


Advertising works too well sometimes
#11
09/05/2021

How we are sucked into advertising, jingles, chocolate and a strange fixated obsession with how this smart water jug on Kickstarter works.

Toyota Hilux advertisement: https://youtu.be/f1PNQwHZuJc

“Killing a Toyota Hilux” on Top Gear:
Part 1: https://youtu.be/xnWKz7Cthkk
Part 2: https://youtu.be/xTPnIpjodA8
Part 3: https://youtu.be/kFnVZXQD5_k

Aeroplane Jelly: youtube.com/watch?v=dJZ2w6Q_Uww

Some fancy ass pitcher/jug: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/larq-pitcher/larq-pitcher-pure-water-beyond-filtration

Washing machine total carnage: https://youtu.be/dq6T5BojXc8

Cadb...


Crazy Inclusive Asians
#10
08/29/2021

The inevitable episode on TV Shows and Movies, covering questions everyone's been asking like: Why Georgie really doesn’t like movies, never finished watching Breaking Bad, and knows the entire dialogue to Terminator 2; and why Geoff likes durians except when they’re flying across screens. The real ep. 10

Georgie has only seen 20 movies in a theatre in her life (https://hey.georgie.nu/ive-only-seen-twelve-movies/). Listing them all because it’s purely amusing that she can list them, most people probably can’t tbh.


A Bug’s Life (1998)Madeline (1998)Treasure Planet (2002)Charlie’s Angels 2 (2003)Troy (2004)Robots (2005)Failure to Launch (200...


Let musicians be artists
#9
08/24/2021

As per usual, we span a range of topics this week: kicking off with The Wiggles (a kids entertainment group), then diving into what music/hip hop has become and how artists evolve with their music, live concert experiences and all the way down to toilet talk.

The Wiggles (in case you don’t know who they are!) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wiggles

The Wiggles covering Tame Impala’s “Elephant” on Like a Version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a13WnqsRc5g

Gucci Gang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LfJnj66H...


The end of journalism
#8
08/17/2021

Geoff and Georgie react and discuss an arguably sensationalist article, dumping on everything from outrage tactics, to unfair criticisms of internet interactions, and yes even Kim & Kanye feature in this episode.

Hot topic article: https://thewalrus.ca/more-is-more-the-end-of-minimalism/


Influencers produce nothing
#7
08/08/2021

Touching on some strange usage of the term "Minimalism", getting into Social Media/Influencers and meeting people from the internet! P.S Geoff thinks he recorded on the wrong microphone lol...

Sustainable underwear (scroll to bottom): http://lebuns.com.auSocial Dilemma Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224Young Female Japanese Biker Turns Out To Be 50-Year-Old Man With FaceApp: https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3g88m/viral-japanese-biker-transformation-woman-faceappGeorgie on Instagram: https://instagram.com/hey.georgie/Geoff on Instagram: https://instagram.com/gyfchong/Georgie’s blog (so you can say “hey I read your blog”) https://hey.georgie.nu/