Coming Out & Beyond | Support for Women Questioning Their Sexuality
Coming Out & Beyond is a podcast for women questioning their sexuality later in life — no matter where you are or what your life looks like right now. Maybe you're sitting with a question you've never said out loud. Maybe you fell for a woman or something woke up recently, everything shifted and you can't put it back. Maybe you're untangling years of religious conditioning or compulsory heterosexuality and trying to figure out who you actually are underneath all of that. Whatever brought you here — this space is for you. Hosted by Anne-Marie Zanzal — Yale Divinity School graduate, ordained progressive minister, grief...
Finding a Self I Couldn't Name: Part 2 - Dahron Johnson's Story of Coming Out as Trans & Learning to Trust Her Inner Voice
In Part 2 of this conversation, Anne-Marie Zanzal continues her talk with Dahron Johnson, a trans woman, advocate, lifelong cyclist, and chair of the Metro Human Relations Commission in Nashville, who came out in her late forties after decades of quietly knowing.
Dahron shares the rush of the days right after she realized a change had to be made, from calling care providers within 48 hours to playing the "wait list shell game" that shortened a six month wait down to six weeks. She remembers her first public moment out in the world, changing into a brand new outfit...
Finding a Self I Couldn't Name, Part I: Dahron Johnson on Faith, Advocacy, and Making Room for More of Us.
Dahron Johnson grew up surrounded by voices. Thousands of books in her parents' home, two people who met in divinity school, and a faith that taught her every person is fearfully and wonderfully made. And still, for decades, she could not find the words for who she was.
In this episode, Anne-Marie sits down with her dear friend Dahron, a clinically trained chaplain, a tireless advocate, and the first openly trans person to speak from the floor of the Tennessee House. The two of them share roots in the North, in the church, and in the long...
Your Sapphic Dating Dilemmas, Answered with Love (and Zero Filter)
This month we return to our lesbian dating and relationship conversation, the one we share on the second Friday of every month, and by popular request Tonda is back at the table!
Anne-Marie is joined by her wife, Tonda McKay, our longtime out lesbian and resident truth teller, and by Barbara Rowlandson, fellow coach and the woman who helps lead our Authentically Us community. Together we work through four real questions pulled from the Lesbian Dating Advice subreddit, and the conversation moves from laughing out loud to genuinely tender.
We start with the question so...
Grieving the Living: The Estrangement No One Prepares You For
TW: This episode includes honest discussion about grief, estrangement and suicidal ideation. Listener discretion is advised.
There is a kind of loss that arrives without a funeral. No casserole on the doorstep, no card in the mail, no ritual to mark it. It is the loss of people who are still alive, of communities that keep meeting without us, of the versions of ourselves we performed for decades. It is called estrangement, and for those of us who came out later in life or left the faith traditions that raised us, it may be one of the...
Loving Someone Newly Out: Tonda McKay's Story of Falling in Love With a Later in Life Lesbian
In this revisited Season 5 favorite, Anne-Marie sits down with photographer Tonda McKay, who also happens to be her wife. Tonda came out at eighteen as a good Southern Baptist girl whose prayer partner became her first love, and she has spent the decades since building a life as a long-out lesbian in the South. She shares what those early years held: the isolation of believing she was the only one, the family rupture when her mother said she was dead to her, and the slow, joyful discovery of community through a liberal church softball team.
The conversation...
Twice Out, Once Home: Keith Aron on Sexuality, Gender & the Long Way Back to Yourself
This week on Coming Out & Beyond, Anne-Marie sits down with Keith Aron (he/they), a trans and queer transformational coach, writer, proudly witchy weirdo, and self-described honorary tree. Keith writes the Substack Big Blue Sky Dragonfly, where he explores the sweet spot between belonging and authenticity — and his story is one Anne-Marie has been wanting to share for a long time.
Keith came out as a lesbian in 2001, while living in conservative Northern Virginia, married to a man, and parenting a young child. There was no social media then, no community waiting on the other side of a...
Hurricane Lessons: Betrayal, Becoming, & Coming Out Later in Life
A decade ago, Anne-Marie and Katrina Anne Willis met inside a small Facebook group that no longer exists — a quiet corner of the internet where women who had Googled "late in life lesbian" found each other. They were both raising kids. Both married to men. Both trying to understand a feeling they didn't yet have language for.
This week, they finally meet face to face.
Katrina is the author of Hurricane Lessons: A Memoir of Betrayal and Becoming, released April 7th by Sibylline Press. In this conversation, she and Anne-Marie trade their parallel stories — the Pila...
The Surprise Truth About Sapphic Sex: What Nobody Tells You Before You Get Here!
A woman in our community wrote in and asked: "What if my lesbian sex experience doesn't live up to the hype? Does that make me not gay?"
That question deserved more than a one-line answer. So Anne-Marie brought in two of her favorite humans to tell the truth — the kind of truth nobody hands you before you get here.
Her wife Tonda McKay has been out for forty years and brings the long view: what the community looked like before midlife women started arriving in big numbers, and what she's watched shift since. Co-coach Barb Ro...
Clarity Is a Thousand Small Permissions
Join the 3-Day Clarity Experience, May 5–7. A live space for women in the long middle who are ready to stop doing it alone — not to get a fix, but to sit with the questions alongside a community of women in exactly the same place. Standard admission is $47, or $87 for VIP, which includes a private 45-minute call with Anne-Marie. https://annemariezanzal.com/3-day-clarity-experience/
The fantasy is that one day you wake up and everything snaps into place — the marriage, the friendships, the way you dress, the way you pray. What nobody tells us is that for most of us, be...
You Can't Know What You Don't Know: DBT, Queer Joy, and Coming Out at Any Age with Dr. Kiki Fehling
Something in you already knows.
Maybe it's been whispering for years. Maybe it got louder recently. Maybe you can't quite name it yet — but you know something is asking to be looked at.
If you've been sitting with questions about who you are, who you love, or what this next chapter of your life is actually supposed to look like, the 3-Day Clarity Experience was built for you.
Three evenings. One guide. A real map forward.
Live on Zoom, May 5–7, 2026 - 7:00–8:15 PM CST
Day 1 – Is This Real? Your Story of Knowing...I Had Been Waiting For Something My Whole Life
In this week's episode of Coming Out & Beyond, Anne-Marie traces the winding, decade-long road that led her from a single paragraph in an Oprah magazine to finally saying the words out loud — and finding the woman who would become her wife along the way.
She begins in 2006, when an article about women who had left marriages with men to be with women cracked something open in her — a joy she couldn't explain and quietly tucked away. She walks listeners through every moment she tried to surface that truth: a therapist who made her feel like she'd failed a li...
Red Flags, Love Bombing & Listening to Your Inner Voice
You're finally dating women — and maybe dating in general for the first time in decades. The apps are confusing, the feelings are big, and it can be hard to know when to trust your gut and when you're overthinking it.
In this episode, Anne-Marie sits down with resident dating authority Barbara Rowlandson — therapist, dating coach, and marriage officiant who has literally married hundreds of couples — for a candid, practical conversation about red flags in the world of lesbian and queer dating.
They cover the warning signs that show up before you've even met in person: profil...
Too Gay to Fit In, Too New to Feel at Home
Coming out names something true. But it doesn't hand you a place to land.
In this episode of Coming Out & Beyond, Anne-Marie sits down with returning guest Anna Empey — LGBT coach, business development consultant, and community builder — for an honest, tender conversation about what it really takes to find your people after you've found yourself.
Anna knows firsthand what it costs to lose the communities you thought you'd hold forever — her faith community, her family connections, her sense of where she fit. And she knows what it took to build something new, not because it was ea...
In the Nick of Time: Light Bird on Coming Out, Starting Over, and Making Music That Matters
Five weeks before her wedding, Danni Hoshino was lying in bed next to her fiancée when something shifted. She asked herself a question she had never quite let herself ask — and then she knew.
In this episode of Coming Out and Beyond, host Anne-Marie Zanzal sits down with Danni, a singer, songwriter, and guitarist who creates music under the name Light Bird. Her debut album, See Her, is a ten-song collection that moves through the uncertainty before transition, the fallout of coming out, and the unexpected beauty of finally living as yourself. They talk about what it...
What Lies Are You Telling Yourself? Kathy Houston on Waking Up to Who You Really Are
What do you do when a single moment — a woman's hand on your thigh at a work dinner — unravels 45 years of the story you thought was yours?
That's exactly what happened to Kathy Houston. A West Point graduate, U.S. Army officer, 30-year retail leader, wife, and mother of two — Kathy spent decades doing everything exactly right. She married the day after she was commissioned. She left the military to raise her kids rather than deploy to Desert Storm. She built a career, a family, a life. And she had absolutely no idea she was gay.
Unti...
🤔So... Are You Actually Ready to Date?
Are you ready to date — or do you just want to be? There's a difference, and this episode of Coming Out and Beyond is here to help you figure that out.
Anne-Marie is joined by the wonderful Barbara Rowlandson — dating coach, psychotherapist, and co-host of our monthly dating segment — for an honest, warm, and often hilarious conversation about what it really takes to step into the dating world as a woman who has come out later in life.
From the chaos of the "messy middle" to love bombing red flags, from building queer community to figuri...
The Losses No One Talks About When You Come Out
Coming Out & Beyond has evolved.
This season is now exclusively for women questioning their sexuality, coming out later in life, and creating a life beyond—at a human pace, with honesty and community.
And if you found yourself here… you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
If something in you has been quietly asking a question you haven't said out loud yet —
there's a free guide for exactly this moment.
No answers required. Just an honest place to begin.
Download our Maybe I Am Not Straight G...
The Preacher Who Couldn't Pray Away the Gay (And What He Found Instead)
What happens when the life you’re told to live is slowly killing you—and the life you’re afraid to live is the one that sets you free?
David Hulse has been a spiritual teacher for over 60 years. But his journey to get here took him through Pentecostal fundamentalism in Tulsa, Oklahoma, conversion therapy at 17, a church in the Jim Crow South at 19, and a marriage to a woman he thought would save him from himself.
In this episode, David shares how he moved from fear-based religion to expansive, love-centered spirituality—and what that path loo...
What Heated Rivalry Gets Right About Coming Out
What Heated Rivalry Gets Right About Coming Out
You wouldn't expect a steamy male hockey romance to hit so close to home for later-in-life lesbians — but Heated Rivalry on HBO Max did exactly that.
In this episode, Anne-Marie and returning co-conspirator Barb Rowlandson break down why this show has gone viral across the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. From the real cost of staying closeted as strategy (not confusion), to the exhaustion of loving privately versus living openly, to why straight women are weeping at a gay hockey player kissing his boyfriend on th...
U-Haul University: Stood Up, Stressed Out & Still Looking for Love!
🔥 Ever get all dressed up for a date... and they never show? Ever wonder if you're too old for love at 43? Ever think maybe lesbian dating culture is just... toxic?
Girl, pull up a chair. We're talking about ALL of it in this episode — and trust us, you're not alone.
📞 FEELING STUCK IN YOUR DATING LIFE?
Dating is hard enough without doing it alone. If you're a sapphic woman feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain lost when it comes to dating — whether you're freshly out, freshly heartbroken, or somewhere in between —...
When the Shelf Breaks: Reflections on Breaking With Faith Tradition and What Lies Beyond
It's the first Friday of the month, and that means we welcome back Anna Empey to the show! In this episode, Anne-Marie and Anna delve deep into their personal journeys of deconstructing their Catholic and Mormon faith, particularly in the context of their LGBTQIA+ identities. Each paints a vivid picture of what it was like to grow up in a home with conservative faith traditions, noting the moments when their "shelf broke" (a metaphor for losing faith), the emotional toll of leaving behind their faith communities and ingrained beliefs, and the impacts it had on their interpersonal relationships. Anne-Marie...
📷”I Want To See These Women’s Faces”
This week, we're revisiting an episode from Season 6 featuring GLAAD Media Award nominee, documentary photographer Morgan Lieberman. Morgan's project, "Hidden Once, Hidden Twice," published with NPR last June was recently nominated in the category of Outstanding Online Journalism – Video or Multimedia
Morgan's work has been featured in publications such as The New York Times, Bloomberg, National Geographic, The Wall Street Journal, The Los Angles Times, among others. Morgan's current documentary project titled 'Hidden Once, Hidden Twice' focuses on documenting the lives of older lesbian partnerships. This project was borne out of a desire for lesbian community and ou...
Vulnerable Bodies, Heavy Hearts: Sexual Minority Stress & Homophobic Hate in the Wake of ICE Violence
Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Coming out later in life is often accompanied by suffering. Whether you're looking to deconstruct messages from a conservative faith tradition, experience divorce-related guilt, or struggle with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription to Authentically Us on Mighty Networks is $35/month, but you can try your first week for free. Find Authentically Us at https://bit.ly/Authentically-Us
Trigger Warning: This...
The Road That Led to Me: Becka Eppley's Story
Authentically Us is a support community for later-in-life LGBTQ women at all stages of the coming out and beyond process. Coming out later in life is often accompanied by suffering. Whether you're looking to deconstruct messages from a conservative faith tradition, experience divorce-related guilt, or struggle with feelings of shame around your coming out or sexual identity, Authentically Us has the right kind of support for you. Monthly subscription to Authentically Us on Mighty Networks is $35/month, but you can try your first week for free. Find Authentically Us at https://bit.ly/Authentically-Us
Becka Eppley is...
U-Haul University: Sapphic Dating Advice!
This Authentic Life is a transformative course designed specifically for late-blooming LGBTQIA+ women (and non-binary people comfortable in women's spaces) who are navigating the complexities of identity, relationships, and future steps. If you're in the process of changing your life to align with your LGBTQIA+ identity and are having challenges reconciling pieces of your old 'straight' life with your new life, this course can help you find clarity and confidence. Visit https://bit.ly/thisauthenticlife for more information and to sign up. NEW COHORT STARTS JAN 15th 2026, next cohort begins late spring, 2026. This is our final week of accepting...
Deconstructing in a Post-Coming Out Landscape
Join the Maybe I'm Not Straight 3-Day Clarity Experience, January 6-8, 2026. For women who need a safe, affirming opportunity to explore their sexuality.: https://annemariezanzal.com/this-authentic-life-3-day-clarity-experience/
Happy New Year! In our first episode of 2026 host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes special guest, queer entrepreneur Anna Empey. Anne-Marie and Anna have a long history of working together, but in this episode Anne-Marie draws on Anna's personal story of deconstructing internalized homophobia and conditioning from a conservative faith tradition. In this compelling conversation, they explore the complexities of coming out and the ongoing journey of self-discovery. They discuss the...
2025 Podcast Year in Review!
Join the Maybe I'm Not Straight 3-Day Clarity Experience, January 6-8, 2026. For women who need a safe, affirming opportunity to explore their sexuality.: https://annemariezanzal.com/this-authentic-life-3-day-clarity-experience/
It's that time of year again, when we wrap up the reflections on a year's worth of episodes! Join host Anne-Marie Zanzal and podcast producer Barbara Rowlandson as they reflect on what they loved the most about this year's show and special guests. This year in review episode is an annual tradition now at Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, and it's a light-hearted look back at all we've accomplished...
Beauty, Control & Living Outside the Lines!
Join the Maybe I'm Not Straight 3-Day Clarity Experience, January 6-8, 2026. For women who need a safe, affirming opportunity to explore their sexuality.: https://annemariezanzal.com/this-authentic-life-3-day-clarity-experience/
This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes author and entrepreneur Lydia Coulter. Lydia writes queer fiction and has developed a luxury BDSM brand, Kilter, offering accessories that consider women's needs. Lydia shares her coming out story, her experiences in complicated relationships with women who were not out and experiencing internalized homophobia, and how BDSM has served as a tool to explore her identity. Lydia emphasizes the need f...
🤔How Do You Explore Your Sexuality?
Join the Maybe I'm Not Straight 3-Day Clarity Experience, January 6-8, 2026: https://annemariezanzal.com/this-authentic-life-3-day-clarity-experience/
Exploring sexuality – what does that even mean? And how do you do it, especially after having been in a long term relationship? In this episode, Anne-Marie Zanzal and Barbara Rowlandson discuss the complexities of exploring one's sexuality, particularly for those who may be coming out later in life or questioning their identity. Anne-Marie and Barbara emphasize the importance of curiosity, courage, and self-reflection in this journey, while also addressing societal expectations and the concept of compulsory heterosexuality.
❓ What to Expect...
📣The Power of Telling Your Story!
This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal welcomes fellow author and later-in-lifer, Sarah Locke. Sarah shares her journey of coming out later in life and living with multiple sclerosis. Sarah's personal value of authenticity shines through as she relates the challenges of coming out later in life, holding boundaries with her parents, and self-advocacy while navigating the early days of her MS diagnosis. Sarah discusses her advocacy work which includes founding Locke's Promise, a nonprofit supporting individuals living with MS. Tune in and you'll be inspired by Sarah's journey of acceptance, personal growth, self-advocacy, journey to sobriety and le...
❤️The Best Tool For Change? Love! - Part 2
"The Catalyst Chapter: #For WLW Navigating Love's First Chapter and Beyond" Learn more about the course and register at https://annemariezanzal.com/courses-from-anne-marie-zanzal/#catalystrelationship
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples": A course for building better communication and strong relationships. https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
❤️The Best Tool For Change? Love! - Part 2
This week, we're back with part 2 of Anne-Marie's engaging conversation with author and transformation coach, David Cunningham. If you haven't watched part 1, do yourself a favor, go back and give it a listen, as it's where David drops several gold nuggets of wisdom...
❤️The Best Tool For Change? Love!
"The Catalyst Chapter: #For WLW Navigating Love's First Chapter and Beyond" Learn more about the course and register at https://annemariezanzal.com/courses-from-anne-marie-zanzal/#catalystrelationship
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples": A course for building better communication and strong relationships. https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
❤️The Best Tool For Change? Love!
David Cunningham believes that love is a powerful tool for transformation. As an author and transformation coach, David is committed to teaching others how to use love to create a path to acceptance, better communication, forgiveness, conscious leadership, and connectedness with others. In this par...
❤️🩹The Catalyst Experience Changes EVERYTHING!
"The Catalyst Chapter: #For WLW Navigating Love's First Chapter and Beyond" Learn more about the course and register at https://annemariezanzal.com/courses-from-anne-marie-zanzal/#catalystrelationship
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples": A course for building better communication and strong relationships. https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, we're revisiting an episode from season 4 on the ups and downs of catalyst relationships. Host Anne-Marie Zanzal sits down will fellow coming out and catalyst relationship coach, Barbara Rowlandson. In this episode. Barbara shares the story of her catalyst experience and reflects on how...
Uncloseted Media Brings Much Needed LGBTQ+ Lens to Journalism
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
TW: Hate groups, racism and homophobia are discussed. Some strong language is used. Listener discretion is advised.
This week on Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal chats with Spencer Macnaughton, Editor-in-Chief and founder of Uncloseted Media, a nonprofit LGBTQIA+ -focused newsroom. In a time when America is reconfiguring its systems to marginalize LGBTQIA+ citizens, Uncloseted Media is working to explore the anti-LGBTQIA+ landscape. Guided by principles of non-partisanship and rigorous journalistic standards, Uncloseted Media shines a light on people and stories that m...
❤️🩹 Healing Your Grief When Coming Out- Part 2
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
TW: This episode explores grief as related to the coming out experience and may be difficult for some to hear. If you are grieving and are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 9-8-8 for crisis support.
Download our grief guide and worksheets here: https://bit.ly/amz-grief-handout
In this part 2 episode on healing grief host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach, Barbara Rowlandson continue to explore the complex emotions surrounding grief when coming out later in l...
❤️🩹 Healing Your Grief When Coming Out- Part 1
In the episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coach, Barbara Rowlandson explore the complex emotions surround grief when coming out later in life. This is a MUST listen episode for anyone coming out and radically changing their lives in other ways, such as divorce or moving! Anne-Marie and Barb discuss the five stages of grief, emphasizing that the grief journey is not a linear path. Three grief stages - denial, anger, and bargaining - are discussed, and the conversation highlights the importance of recognizing and naming grief feelings/stages. Understanding societal expectations, na...
📷”I Want To See These Women’s Faces”
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
In the episode of Coming Out & Beyond: LGBTQIA+ Stories, host Anne-Marie Zanzal speaks with documentary photographer, Morgan Lieberman. Morgan's work has been featured in publications such as The New York Times, Bloomberg, National Geographic, The Wall Street Journal, The Los Angles Times, among others. Morgan's current documentary project, tentatively titled 'Hidden Once, Hidden Twice' focuses on documenting the lives of older lesbian partnerships. This project was borne out of a desire for lesbian community and out of recognition that the voices of the older lesbian generation have be...
🤔Unpacking Compulsory Heteronormativity
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
This week on the pod: pull up a chair and lean in as host Anne-Marie Zanzal and her fellow coming-out coach, Barbara Rowlandson, unpack all things 'comp het.' Compulsory Heteronormativity (sometimes used interchangeably with 'compulsory heterosexuality) represents the systems in place that keep women from understanding or realizing their needs and desires. If you're just starting out on your coming out journey and have ever asked yourself, "Why the heck did it take me so long to realize I am gay/lesbian/bi/queer?" then t...
✊🏼Values in Action: Maxine Kroll's Life of Acceptance, Sex-Positivity & Activism
‼️SPECIAL FOR COMING OUT & BEYOND LISTENERS! This episode's guest, Maxine Kroll, founder/owner of Provincetown's renowned sex shop & museum, Toys of Eros, is offering 10% off purchases for our listeners! Just use the coupon code COB when completing your order to receive your discount. Shop everything Toys of Eros has to offer at https://toysoferos.com/
Wing Women Weekend | Annual Conference in Provincetown, MA, during Women's Week | https://wingwomenweekend.com/
"Strengthening Love: Building Secure Bonds for Lesbian Couples" https://healthylesbianrelationships.com/
This week on the podcast, host Anne-Marie Zanzal has a conversation with Maxine Kroll, a...
🎄Holiday Survival When Coming Out 101!
Navigating the holiday season can prove to be an arduous endeavor, particularly for those who are in the process of coming out. In this discussion, we, Anne-Marie Zanzal and Barbara Rowlandson, share our personal experiences and the myriad challenges we faced during our own holiday seasons. We provide practical strategies to help you establish boundaries, cultivate joy within small rituals, and maintain your peace while remaining true to yourself. Our aim is not to advocate for perfection but to foster a sense of steadiness amidst the emotional complexities that the holidays can evoke. Join us as we explore these...
