Lit AF Relationships

Are you curious about what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you have an inkling that something in your relationship is off? This episode peels back the curtain to show you what a healthy and secure relationship looks like. I talk about what arguments look and feel like, how it feels to come home to your person, and the deep belief that comes from knowing you’re with the right person. Tune in to learn more about what secure attachment looks like.

Discover your attachment style to create a healthy relationship where you fe...

If you’re not sure if your partner is the right person, this episode is for you. It’s going to help you understand how to make the decision to stay or leave. I share about common patterns that pop up when we make these types of decisions and how to move through them so you don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis. I finish the episode talking about how you figure out how to make a healthy relationship work or decision to walk away. It’s time to get rid of the confusion and indecision. And start finding or makin...

Do you want more reassurance from your partner? Do you feel like they’re always trying to take space away from you or you’re not sure if they want to be in a relationship with you? This episode will help you understand how to get what you need from your partner without having to be someone different. This is not about getting rid of your need for reassurance but instead knowing how to get them on board to meet your needs while you are also meeting their needs. Tune in to finally feel reassured in your relationship.

Di...

In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, Sarah Cohan breaks down the real reason your partner might not be sharing and the surprising thing you might be doing that makes it harder for them to open up.

Through personal stories from her own marriage and powerful client examples, Sarah explains how certain patterns like criticism, emotional reactions, and “weaponized curiosity” can unintentionally shut down the very vulnerability you’re craving. She also shares the mindset shift that transformed her own relationship after betrayal and helped couples she works with move from distance and doubt to deep connection where...

Do you feel like you can only rely on yourself or that it’s a sign of weakness to share your feelings? If so, this episode is for you. I share why the dismissive avoidant attachment style is brought up to think they need to be independent. I also share why the dismissive-avoidant is cut off from their emotions. If you’re in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant this will help you understand why they need so much space and why feelings are so hard for them.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old rela...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.

So many couples tell me they don’t want to fight as much as they and that their fights never feel resolved, but here’s the truth: fighting is a bid for connection, we’re just going about it in a tense and uncomfortable way. In this episode, I share a real live example of why fights escalate and how to stop them in their tracks. I talk about why we make conflict mean something about us, how anxious and av...

On today’s episode, Mycah and Ian share how they both overcame their insecure anxious and avoidant attachment styles in order to create a happy and peaceful relationship. Mycah wanted to get engaged, married and start living together within a year. Ian was having doubts about commitment and had fears of making the wrong decision about marriage. She felt impatient about how their relationship was slowly progressing and frustrated that she hadn’t even met Ian’s momyet. When we first started to work together it was hard for them to share how they were feeling without it escalating to a f...

I used to be that person. Raging jealousy. Constant suspicion. Side-eyeing my partner’s female friendships like it was my full-time job.

Then I healed my attachment style… and everything changed.

These days, jealousy barely shows up in my romantic relationship. But surprise, it still sneaks into friendships, work dynamics, and comparison spirals when I’m not paying attention.

In this episode, we’re unpacking what jealousy is actually about. It’s distrust, old betrayal wounds, unmet needs, and the sneaky habit of outsourcing your worth through comparison.

We’ll talk about:

Your partner is going to believe things about you that just… aren’t true.

And the moment you start worrying about hurting their feelings or believe even a tiny piece of their story, you’re hooked. Guilt kicks in. You over-explain. You bend. You twist. You try to prove something that was never yours to carry.

In this episode, I share how being told “we always do what you want” sent me into years of people-pleasing (spoiler: it didn’t change the story), why many of our relationship beliefs come straight from childhood, and how those belief...

Today’s guest shares how she overcame her fearful avoidant attachment style to make big life changes and end a longterm situationship. Jane used to struggle with saying no so she found herself in a soul-sucking job, in a city she didn’t want to live, with an on-again-off-again partner that wasn’t making her happy. She couldn’t say no to her boss, her friends, or her say the ultimate no to her relationship. She shares how she overcame all of this and made big life changes to get her closer to the life she wants to live. If it’s...

Cheating sucks. It can cause alot of pain in your marriage and might feel impossible to overcome. If you’re going through it right now you’re probably stuck in a cycle of punishment and withdrawing or defensiveness. It is possible to overcome the real pain and hurt that you’re experiencing. And there is a specific process to help you speed up the healing. My hope is that this episode helps you understand how to move forward and gives you hope that when you overcome it you will have a better marriage than before the cheating. That was my own...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team...

Today my guest is Mabel who worked with me to overcome her avoidant attachment style. Her goal was to clean up her relationship with her daughter. Her daughter is highly emotional and was prone to have full shutdowns when she got frustrated doing things like piano practice or homework. Mabel was triggered by her daughters emotions and was either yelling or taking space to avoid them as much as possible. Mabel is now showing up as a secure mom and her daughter is surprising her with very secure communication.

Mabel was able to create secure attachment quickly...

If there is one skill that transforms relationships from shaky to secure, it is validation. And yes, it is hard AF. In this episode, we’re diving into why this deceptively simple tool is the very first thing I teach couples and why it matters so much for creating secure attachment.

Validation is tough because when your partner brings you something painful or messy, your body wants to react. Your brain starts telling old stories about not being good enough or being unlovable or being too much. But validation is not about agreeing with them or taking th...

Are you “chill,” “go with the flow,” or “totally fine with whatever”? Spoiler alert… that might actually be people-pleasing in disguise. And people-pleasing is basically lying about what you really want.

In this episode, we dig into why going with the flow usually means “I’m too scared to say what I need,” how it creates resentment in relationships, and why your partner actually can’t support you if you never speak up.

You’ll learn how to build a daily fulfillment routine so you start meeting your own needs, drop the pressure and expectations on your partner, and com...

Avoidants often need space because conflict never felt safe growing up. They want peace, so when tough conversations come up, they shut down and exit fast. If you are the one opening up, it can feel like abandonment. They take space without explaining it and often skip the repair.

This pattern can change. It starts with owning your emotions, understanding your needs for space and autonomy, and upleveling your beliefs about yourself. From there you can use healthy communication to say you need space and still commit to coming back to repair.

Join me for...

If you catch yourself people-pleasing, this episode is for you.

We’ll explore why you over-give, go with the flow, or downplay your needs, and how it’s quietly draining your energy and creating distance in your relationship. When you’re always focused on keeping the peace, you lose touch with what you actually want and need.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to own your emotions so you’re not afraid of other people’s reactions, how to upgrade your beliefs about yourself and your worth, and how to build daily habits that...

Ever had an argument spin out of control before you even knew what happened? In this episode, we’re talking about how to stop a fight dead in its tracks — with validation. Yep, the one thing that sounds simple but feels impossible when emotions are high. You’ll learn why validation isn’t about agreeing, being weak, or giving in, and how offering it can actually calm your nervous system and build real emotional safety in your relationship. If you’ve ever wished your partner could just talk to you without it turning into a blow-up, this one’s for you.

Ever catch yourself simmering in quiet resentment toward your partner? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what resentment really is (spoiler: it’s just anger with a side of overgiving). We’ll unpack why we do it, usually to prove we’re “enough”, and how it drains our time, energy, and connection. You’ll learn how to own your emotions, fill your own cup daily, and upgrade your beliefs so you can show up from a place of calm, not deficit. It’s time to drop the resentment and finally feel seen and heard in your re...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. 

If you avoid conflict like it’s the plague, this episode is for you. We’re talking about what it really means to be conflict avoidant, how defensiveness, minimizing, or deflecting can sneak in when you’re scared to show up honestly. This pattern is common for the dismissive avoidant type, especially if conflict or emotions didn’t feel safe growing up.

You’ll learn why conflict sends you on an emotional rollercoaster, how shame and guilt fuel your d...

Ever wondered why your anxious self keeps falling for that avoidant hottie? Or why you suddenly lose interest once someone actually likes you back? In this week’s episode, I’m diving into all your juicy relationship questions. We’ll break down how to figure out your attachment style, what “earned secure” actually means, and how to stop taking every little thing your partner does (or doesn’t do) so personally.

You’ll learn what to do when your partner gets triggered so you can stay grounded instead of spiraling, how to repair after a fight without shame or blame...

Ever cracked a joke or shared something with your partner, only to suddenly find yourself in a full-blown fight? 😳 One second you’re laughing, the next it’s accusations, defensiveness, and tension. In this episode, I’ll share a real client example of how quickly things can go sideways what to do instead of trying to control your partner’s reaction. We’ll talk about why defensiveness shuts down connection, why feelings are always valid, and how to speak from a place of emotional honesty. By the end, you’ll have tools to handle tough conversations with confidence, whether it’s with your...

Perfectionism might look like striving for A+++ work, but in relationships it often leads to burnout, resentment, and never feeling enough. In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, I share how perfectionism shows up in love, why it keeps you stuck in people-pleasing, and the surprisingly freeing power of embracing B-minus work. Get ready to laugh, reflect, and learn how to let go of impossible standards so you can build the calm, connected, healthy relationship you actually want.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract...

What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is your thoughts? In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, host and relationship coach Sarah Cohan breaks down how our beliefs shape our reality—and why we sometimes have to create new ones before we have any proof they’re true. From clients learning to trust themselves in dating, to shifting family dynamics, to Sarah’s own journey with fitness and food, you’ll hear how powerful it is to rewrite old stories and start “doing the impossible.” Tune in to learn how to change your beliefs so y...

Anger gets a bad rap—but it’s actually one of our most useful emotions. In this episode, I explore why anger shows up, what it’s really protecting us from, and how to uncover the softer feelings hiding underneath. From dishes with my husband to those everyday moments that leave us simmering, we’ll look at how to process the deeper emotions behind anger so it no longer feels scary, but instead becomes a guide to what we truly need.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https...

Saying no can feel impossible when you’re wired with insecure attachment. We twist ourselves into pretzels to avoid it—racking up credit card debt, staying in relationships too long, or going out for “just one more drink” we didn’t even want. But here’s the truth: no isn’t rejection, no is clarity. In this episode, I’ll show you how to shift your relationship with no so you can reclaim your time, your energy, and actually help others make the best decisions too.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free qu...

This week I’m diving into a big theme that comes up for people with insecure attachment—taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. If your partner gets upset and you feel like you have to fix it, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: they didn’t ask you to carry that weight. When we overextend, it leads to burnout, resentment, and even a loss of respect in the relationship.

In this episode, I’ll share how to separate your emotions from your partner’s, build tolerance for their discomfort, and take radical ownership of your own thou...

Our attachment styles form between ages 7 and 12, when our kid-brains saw the world in black and white: Dad’s not here? He must not love me. Mom didn’t like my crying? Better hide my feelings. Over time, those moments solidify into stories like I’m not enough or Something’s wrong with me, and we carry them into adult relationships, jobs, and opportunities. Suddenly, feedback feels like rejection, a delayed text means someone’s leaving, and every interaction is filtered through old fear. The shift happens when you identify and clean up those outdated beliefs—so you can show up in l...

Life, and love, is 50/50. Half joy and connection, half frustration and discomfort. But when perfectionism creeps into a relationship, we start judging the tough moments as signs something is wrong.

In this episode, I share how my own perfectionist mindset showed up in marriage and why it doubled the work during conflict, repairing the fight and the fear it meant we were broken. You’ll learn how perfectionism often hides a craving for calm (especially for Dismissive Avoidant types) and how to create that peace without demanding perfection.

Discover your attachment style to break free fr...

If you have an insecure attachment style, a simple “no” can feel like rejection—triggering worst-case-scenario thinking and sending your nervous system into overdrive. In this episode, we’ll reframe “no” as redirection, explore why it’s often the best thing for both parties, and talk about how to stop taking it personally. You’ll learn how to update your beliefs about boundaries, make space for uncomfortable feelings, and free yourself from people-pleasing overload.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Fol...

Ever feel like you're putting way more into a friendship than you're getting back? Like you're always remembering their birthday, showing up for their milestones, and making time for deep hangs—while they barely text back or only want to hang in big groups?

In this episode, we talk about what it feels like when friendships become unbalanced and how to stop taking it personally. I introduce the “friend shelf system”—a way to honor different types of friendships without expecting every friend to be everything. I share how I stopped making other people’s preferences mean something...

If you’ve ever thought, “This one person MUST meet all my needs—right now, forever,” this episode is for you.

Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant folks often grow up with inconsistent caregivers and learn to hyper-focus on one partner to feel safe, chosen, or complete. But the truth is: no one person can be your emotional Amazon Prime—delivering all your needs on demand.

I’ll walk you through how to break the fixation, identify what needs you’re really trying to meet, and start diversifying your sources of fulfillment (hello, adventure, security, and connection—fro...

Ever gone full detective on your partner in the name of “just being curious”? Yeah… me too. 😬 In this episode, I’m talking about weaponized curiosity—how our innocent questions can turn into subtle tools of shame, blame, and control (especially when trust has been broken). I’ll share a raw moment from my own relationship, how my therapist called me out (ouch), and why feeling chosen is a universal need, not a burden. Plus, how this tough lesson led me to attachment theory—and ultimately, healing. If you’ve ever chased clarity hoping for comfort, only to feel worse… this one’s f...

Guilt and shame: the uninvited passengers secretly driving the bus. In today’s episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on how these emotions silently shape our actions—especially if you’re someone with insecure attachment. From overgiving and people-pleasing to taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, we unpack where guilt and shame come from, why they’re so sticky, and how to gently start loosening their grip. You’ll walk away with practical ways to poke holes in the guilt-shame narrative so you can show up more fully as yourself.

Discover your attachment style to break free fro...

Ever catch yourself trying to protect someone from their own emotions—like disappointment, anger, or sadness? You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore the sneaky ways many of us—especially those with fearful avoidant attachment—take on emotional responsibility that was never ours to begin with.

We break down how childhood conditioning taught us to manage other people’s feelings as a form of survival, and why that habit lingers long into adulthood. Whether you're people-pleasing, over-giving, or avoiding conflict altogether, these patterns might feel like kindness, but they come at a cost: your own emotional...

This week, I’m joined by my former client David to talk about his transformation from emotionally shutdown and YouTube-binging to expressive, boundary-setting, and boxing-loving. We get real about what it’s like to live with a dismissive avoidant attachment style, how it affected his friendships and relationships, and how he slowly built a more secure sense of self—one tiny step (and one tucked-in shirt) at a time. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, and definitely relate if you’ve ever felt like the “quiet, weird one” at the party. David’s actually charming AF.

Discover your attachment style...

Do you secretly believe you’re uniquely unlovable, fundamentally broken, or just too weird to be understood? Congrats, you might have Special Snowflake Syndrome™. In this spicy episode (recorded on day one of my period a.k.a. peak truth serum), I unpack how this isolating lie keeps you from the connection you crave—and why 25% of us are out here doing the exact same thing. You're not broken, you're just avoidant. Let’s fix that.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410...

Get ready to feel seen! In this soulful, funny, and wisdom-packed episode, Sarah reunites with Krista Williams—co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and now author of its transformational companion book. They dive deep into Saturn returns, breakups that crack you open, dating after divorce, and the wild ride of figuring out whether your intuition or your attachment style is driving the bus. Krista shares her own messy-beautiful story of growth, how she finally stopped dating avoidant men (amen!), and why knowing your soul is the ultimate relationship flex. Plus, Sarah opens up about her Saturn return engagement-detour and how sh...

Asking for help can feel like weakness—but what if it’s actually a sign of strength? In this short episode, I get real about the shame and insecurity that bubbled up from a real life example from a client that needed help with a clothes dryer (yes, really). I walk through the wound thoughts, the emotions they triggered, and the powerful reframe that helped her see her courage and resourcefulness instead. If asking for help makes you squirm, this one’s for you.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free q...