Duck Logic Comedy 1/2 Hour | Talk, Sketches & More

Show 209: William Shatner’s metal band. Bars of soap. Back to school provisions. Squirrels hate the Irish. The Girl Scout documentary. Pizza and chicken wings in church. And Breaking Bad’s unknown theme song. And Sugarcoat is back!

THEN: 13 Year Old World. Animals doing comedy. A summer camp for brooding future rock stars. A Fear Clinic. And critics of office art. Plus a little more. 

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Show 208: Cutting edge toilets. Bidets. Squatty Potties. Jim’s dad’s guns. Talking bears into suicide. Bees vs. Ants. Walt’s grade school Star Trek/Nazi salute. And Tim may have seen a different Odyssey movie than everyone else.

THEN: Bottom-of-the-Purse candy. Place not to go this weekend. A sub-par doctor. Farting in a revolving door. And a few more things.

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Show 207: Jim and Tim go by Jimothy. A shout out to Walt’s old neighbors who listen to the pod. Jim shows off both his severed toenails. Tim’s head wound. Tim picks up chicks with Eddie Arnold records. The guys try not to spoil Project Hail Mary. And what's up with Jim’s across the street neighbor.

THEN: Franklin Mint’s Phallic Symbol collection. A show for bros. Ice cream for bachelors. A boy in a plastic bag. Plus, a few more things.

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Show 206: Walt and Jim learn about their neighbors through binoculars. A tough crowd for a standup act. Jim tells a spam caller that he’s dead. Tim crashes a class reunion.

THEN: Things that don’t translate to audio. A subpar dream psychic. The student loan police. Selling integrity. And the past.

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Show 205: Tim’s wedding gift for Taylor and Travis. Walt signs up for a clinical trial. And hygiene in the Old West. 

THEN: Gawking at overly large objects. A breakfast drink that keeps coming back. Too much Yeti. What (not) to do this weekend. And a play about carpeting.

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Show 204: An unusual funeral home basement. The guys dream of being the new Charlie’s Angels. What they did on the 4th. Alligators. Putt-putt golf. Weatherman shaming. Tim’s newest one-man show.

 THEN: A stripper in a bikini. A 70s folk group gets real. Mail order art. An enigmatic power walker. A philosophical hostage negotiator. And a little more.

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Show 203: Jim stabs himself. The 250th. World Cup fans drink Miami dry. Washington wasn’t our first president. 1776, the Musical (with women!). Little Nazis say the cutest things. And the Scotts invent golf.

THEN: Custom made condoms. On Hold from hell. Killer coins. The Constitution was almost on notebook paper. And little-known movies that should’ve stayed that way.

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Show 202: 900-year-old Methuselah and his 20-something wife. Jelly Roll’s divorce. Walt slices his thumb, but Jim’s toenail grows back! Rugby players amputate their fingers. And the Callback Dog… is back!

 THEN: Backstage at a church dressing room. The Guy Pride Parade. A Bob Dylan impression. What’s up on the movie channel. And Tim’s Podcast Pick of the Week.

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Show 201: The pod takes a weird, religious format shift… or does it? YouTube movies. Jim wishes he had a laundry chute. Milldew in a spray. Tim teaches Latin (and penmanship). There’s a robin’s nest blocking Walt’s front door. The truth about Tony, the Tiger. And Collie, the Callback Dig!

Then: Billie Eilish’s even quieter little sister. Priests against Art. A Tom Petty impression. A better use for your sleeve. And more!

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It’s our 200th show…!! Whoo!! Hoo!! Right? Yeah, okay. Tim tells us what Ireland is like. The end of Schlitz. Marilyn Monroe. Hockey. Waffles in the mail.

Then a deadly amusement park. Trudy predicts your horoscope. The Emergency Podcast System. Preppers. And a rock classic about grammar.

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Show 199: Tim looks forward to his trip to Ireland. The joy of gruel. The pros and cons of cannibalism. And robot monks.

Plus: mixed-matched cops—a winning TV formula. A 70s rock and roller cashes-in. A new character named Mr. Character. Cops and coffee. And a bouncy house.

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In a bit called Fowl Memories Dave, Jim, Tim, and Walt improv memories of that time Duck Logic formed an Emo band. Or did they? It’s hard to tell, their memories aren’t what they used to be.

Then, the guys complain about that PBS genealogy show where famous people discover how much more famous they are. Jim, who always thought he was more “Irish” admits he’s mostly British and Italian. And you know that “Native American” character from our old childhood public service announcements who sheds a single tear on the side of a highway? Turns...

Show 198: The hantavirus. Big Chicago rats. Southern rodent hunters. A talking 'possum. 1960s westerns. Out of shape superheroes. The Met Gala. And a wrestling sloth. THEN: A sweaty bar for summer. Furniture for not sitting on. Needless investigations. Godzilla. Musicals with a “cheesy” slant. 

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Episode 197: Walt finds his dad’s porn movie stash. Jim, too. Frisbee golf. Boomerang nerds. Weird sports. The guys get their own “walk-on music.” Walt explains the Terrible Twos. Then: cigs with something extra. Fun at theater camp. In praise of Drug Mules. Baseball cards teach a kid a sappy lesson. A quiz shows has all the answers, but no questions. Plus, a little bit more.

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Episode 196: Jim disposes of a dead cat. Walter’s dog dies. The dead old lady on the living room floor. Tim learns to “sidle.” Cinco de Mayo drink specials. And a one-eyed yoga guy. Then kid surgeons. Kooties. Chickens that go both ways. A one-hit wonder begs for attention. And “Walking Dead, the Musical.” Plus, a little bit more.

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Episode 195: Jim deals with a squirrel. The nastiness of nature. The guys discover “splooting.” Cereal commercials. The Rock. Pooping at the all-you-can-eat buffet to “make more room.” Kids hiding in walls. Chicago steak joints. And Dave Matthew’s tour bus dumps a load on tourists. 

THEN: A souped-up recliner. Scented candles for real men. Questionable Duck Logic merch. Talking through tubes. And it’s about time for a new conspiracy. Plus, a little bit more.

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Episode 194: Hitler gets his driver’s license. Phlegm. Hitmen. And Tim eats moldy food. Then: party in sad bars. Make Your Kids Suffer at Your Job day. Humidity. Shoddy builders. Strange thoughts from Tim. And painfully soft toilet paper. Plus, a few more things.

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FIRST: Jim does some wacky visual jokes on an audio-only podcast. The guys congratulate Dave on yet another “D-Day” or “Dave Day” mulling over various famous Dave’s and the need to start a concert in support of Dave’s: Dave-aid. Then they try and write new mottos and adages.  

THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt reveal the news that Ringling Brothers Circus, after removing their animal acts due to cruelty complaints, made their clowns go makeup-less! What kind of world would it be without clowns?! Plus there’s Pagliacci and an old Rice Krispies c...

FIRST: Jim tells Tim, Dave, and Walt that the famous Chicago Rat Hole (an indentation of a rodent pushed into sidewalk cement) had been filled in!! Tim opens our eyes to the oppression squirrels go through. Walt tells the guys about his neighbor’s pet wild squirrel. And, apparently, Jim had a pet squirrel, too!

THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have had a giant duck head float in Chicago’s 4th of July parade (which isn’t a thing). And Dave w...

FIRST:

Dave, Jim, Tim, and Walt explain how the group got its name: “Duck Logic” and Dave talks about the evolution of the duck of their logo. Then Jim abruptly changes the subject to the manly bag he bought online that turned out to be a woman’s purse! And somehow the conversation turns to goiters versus boils. 

THEN: 

The guys wonder when a buddy becomes a pal and what you have to do to go from a pal to a cohort, chum, ally, or henchman. Then there are sidekick...

FIRST:

Did you know that bears plug up their butts to prepare for hibernation? Walt explains it all to Dave, Tim, and Jim. They go on to “explore” all sorts of bear, butt, and plug possibilities!

THEN: 

The guys discuss getting a mentalist on the pod. They ask: if you can get debunked, can you get re-bunked? Then the guys get funky. Parliament Funkadelic. The Funky Winkerbean comic strip. The funky bunch.

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FIRST:

Jim gets spammed with politically incorrect jokes. Naked old men at the gym. Prison myths. And we find out Jim used to call his penis Captain B.B. 

THEN: 

In honor of St. Paddy's Day, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss the old classic Irish movie "The Quiet Man." And Tim professes his love for Ireland, not that he's ever been there, because of how it probably smells (like stale beer).

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FIRST:

Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss evil lairs, and ones for the good guys. Goldfinger. Dr. No. The Kingsmen had cool, undergrown headquarters. But who designs them? What would the Indeed listing look like to get a job in one? And what kind of amenities should they have—a Keurig, drink fridges, a Sbarro and, of course, popcorn!

THEN: 

The guys continue their evil talk, exploring the many different nuances of becoming and staying evil. They decide to become evil entrepreneurs by launching an evil gofundme page.

D...

FIRST:

Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have played gigs in Ft. Lauderdale during spring break. It’s hazy. It might have happened. Or not. They may’ve remembered it wrong.

THEN: 

The guys wonder why they keep making Godzilla movies, then decide it’s because 'Zilla is a consummate thespian and ponder how many other films he would’ve been perfect for. King Lear. When Godzilla Met Sally. The list goes on and on.

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TALK: It’s Ash Wednesday and Jim tells us about a priest giving out ashes at the train station. Tim has a real issue with the make-a-heart hand gesture. Obscene gestures around the world. Tim’s Narnia adventures. Keeping your clothes in a hole. Class clowns and their comedy writers.

SKETCHES: A redacted love story. Fun facts about Wyoming. A mean men’s store. The Drunken Bible. A bad driving school. And more!

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Take a break with Duck Logic

TALK: Walter looks at his permanent record. Duck Logic’s comedy classes. Jim’s uncle Bud’s weird death. One Piece. Job fairs. And Walter’s neighbor is in the CIA. 

SKETCHES: Bars for Lent. Laundered money. A philosophical hockey player. A really short opera. What else would Jesus do and more!

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Take a break with Duck Logic and:

TALK: Duck Logic in the Epstein files? A man who gets off when he has his diaper changed. Do you look at your poop? Tim challenges The Seahawks to Hungry Hungry Hippos. Gambling on anything. Someone stole Jim’s poop joke. And sloths.

SKETCHES: A last-minute Valentine gift that smells like one. Dairy humor from stand-up Sal Monella. Re-buying your childhood toys, sort of. ChatGPT comedy. Luge training. And more!

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Take a break with Duck Logic and:

TALK: High school sex ed. The guys learn about the birds and bees. Jim’s emotional health class scars. Tim dares women’s softball players. Professional hockey moms. And Tim loves for the biathlon.

SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day hot spots. A new and improved gadget that does something or other. A guy that REALLY loves opera. Interviews with Winter Olympic maybes. And a few more things.

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Take a little break from it all with Duck Logic and:

TALK: Drunken Walt hides from the cops. Jim tells phone solicitors he’s dead. Tim looks for a plumber. Oh, the people you’ll meet on Nextdoor. And Tim’s a stunt driver. 

SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day sales at a hardware store. An expo for shut-ins. A tollbooth attendant tells funny stories. And a song about peas. Plus, more!

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TALK: Autistic Barbie. How does a 3-legged dog pee? How many bears can get stuck in a crawl space. Racist comic strips of old. Jim’s less-than-believable Australian accent.

SKETCHES: A new and improved useless gadget. Winter fun at Splatterland amusement park. The guy who wrote “Close Cover Before Striking.” Cowboys do commercials. And more.

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TALK: Is God a loud talker? The guys try “Gadzooks!” as their new catch phrase. The guy who made Johnny Carson quit. How we know the Insult Comedy Dog. Jim’s grandpa’s funny way of saying hello. 

SKETCHES: Insect love. More useless Duck Logic merch. Butt fashion. No crying in baseball. Community over-awareness. Plus, more.

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TALK: Holidays in Iowa City. Church merch. The Stonehenge gift shop. Druids. Walter’s sister buys him a whip. Cousins drop you on your head.

SKETCHES: A really loud chef. The wagon full of swag. Short Attention Span Theater. Voicemails from God. And more.

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TALK: Local newscaster’s dancing. The streaming Oscars. The first A.I. reality show. Weed trees. Anime. Losing our cable TV award. 

SKETCHES: The second best places for New Years Eve. Champaign made by ducks. Throwing produce at bicycles. Plus, more.

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Merry Christmas Eve eve (for those who celebrate)!!

TALK: The guys talk about buffs. The finer points of furries. Pipe-fitters vs actors. Pre-roasted chestnuts. And who’s bringing the inflatable rat?

SKETCHES: Chipmunk pirates. Selfies with Santa. Forced family fun. And tattoos for the homeless. Plus, more.

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TALK: A 4-year-old elevator operator. The Neil Diamond musical. Opening for Jonathon Brandmeier’s band. Animosity for Christmas. And prank kidnapping.

SKETCHES: Holiday blacktop service. Baby shopping. Insurance for your blanket. A leftover restaurant. Plus, more.

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Tacky Christmas singers. 8-tracks. Latvian actors. Weird ethnic holiday food. Walt and Tim open a really boring advent calendar. And Jim gets hit with a rock.

Then: a commercial about Nothing. Hormonal underwear. Prescription cologne. And a song about the perils of an extended family Christmas. Plus more.

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Pulled from the DLCHH archives: the guys remember that one summer they started a theater camp for kids. Or did they? It’s foggy. Maybe they got one or two of the details wrong. Maybe all of them?

Then in the second segment the guys drink cocoa in their PJs and discuss the upcoming Christmas holiday. And Tim tells us about his pet possum.

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Frats without liquor. The good ol’ days of smoking. Jim almost burns down a forest. The penny’s last days. Truth about pilgrims. And Tim’s mic trouble. 

Then sketches: Horoscope for stud muffins. The first Thanksgiving, probably. Louisiana, whether you like it or not.  And of course, football. Plus more… 

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Walt’s dad’s porn books. A.I. country music. The upside of participation trophies. 

Then sketches: Stupidity. An explosive new bath soap. Mr. Analogy. And pumpkin spice in EVERYTHING. Plus, more…

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Tim love for Veteran’s Day. War movies. Jim’s toenail update. And Walter’s drunken bachelor party with his dad. 

Then: Hollywood’s oldest toddler. The upside of infidelity. A really, really nice talk show. Plus more!

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