Duck Logic Comedy 1/2 Hour | Talk, Sketches & More
Podcast-y talk like you'd expect with a little something extra--- comedy sketches, commercial parodies & funny songs... Presented by the Chicago improv comedy group called Duck Logic!! New stuff and stuff pulled from the archives of their WLUP AM1000 radio show called The Cavalcade.
Ooops! All Talking #10: "Toothbrush. Flip-Flops. Shiv..."
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FIRST:
Jim gets spammed with politically incorrect jokes. Naked old men at the gym. Prison myths. And we find out Jim used to call his penis Captain B.B.Â
THEN:Â
In honor of St. Paddy's Day, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss the old classic Irish movie "The Quiet Man." And Tim professes his love for Ireland, not that he's ever been there, because of how it probably smells (like stale beer).
Ooops! All Talking #9: "Evil has gotten a bad name."
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FIRST:
Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss evil lairs, and ones for the good guys. Goldfinger. Dr. No. The Kingsmen had cool, undergrown headquarters. But who designs them? What would the Indeed listing look like to get a job in one? And what kind of amenities should they have—a Keurig, drink fridges, a Sbarro and, of course, popcorn!
THEN:Â
The guys continue their evil talk, exploring the many different nuances of becoming and staying evil. They decide to become evi...
Ooops! All Talking #8: "There's nothing funny about a topless woman."
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FIRST:
Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have played gigs in Ft. Lauderdale during spring break. It’s hazy. It might have happened. Or not. They may’ve remembered it wrong.
THEN:Â
The guys wonder why they keep making Godzilla movies, then decide it’s because 'Zilla is a consummate thespian and ponder how many other films he would’ve been perfect for. King Lear. When Godzilla Met Sally. The list...
193: "Billy, put that back in the toilet."
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TALK: It’s Ash Wednesday and Jim tells us about a priest giving out ashes at the train station. Tim has a real issue with the make-a-heart hand gesture. Obscene gestures around the world. Tim’s Narnia adventures. Keeping your clothes in a hole. Class clowns and their comedy writers.
SKETCHES: A redacted love story. Fun facts about Wyoming. A mean men’s store. The Drunken Bible. A bad driving school. And more!
192: "Around the world with potato salad."
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Take a break with Duck Logic
TALK: Walter looks at his permanent record. Duck Logic’s comedy classes. Jim’s uncle Bud’s weird death. One Piece. Job fairs. And Walter’s neighbor is in the CIA.Â
SKETCHES: Bars for Lent. Laundered money. A philosophical hockey player. A really short opera. What else would Jesus do and more!
191: "All the Nazis were breast feeders."
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Take a break with Duck Logic and:
TALK: Duck Logic in the Epstein files? A man who gets off when he has his diaper changed. Do you look at your poop? Tim challenges The Seahawks to Hungry Hungry Hippos. Gambling on anything. Someone stole Jim’s poop joke. And sloths.
SKETCHES: A last-minute Valentine gift that smells like one. Dairy humor from stand-up Sal Monella. Re-buying your childhood toys, sort of. ChatGPT comedy. Luge training. And more!
190: "Now son, this is a scrotum."
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Take a break with Duck Logic and:
TALK: High school sex ed. The guys learn about the birds and bees. Jim’s emotional health class scars. Tim dares women’s softball players. Professional hockey moms. And Tim loves for the biathlon.
SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day hot spots. A new and improved gadget that does something or other. A guy that REALLY loves opera. Interviews with Winter Olympic maybes. And a few more things.
189: "When I met you guys, I was a stunt driver."
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Take a little break from it all with Duck Logic and:
TALK: Drunken Walt hides from the cops. Jim tells phone solicitors he’s dead. Tim looks for a plumber. Oh, the people you’ll meet on Nextdoor. And Tim’s a stunt driver.Â
SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day sales at a hardware store. An expo for shut-ins. A tollbooth attendant tells funny stories. And a song about peas. Plus, more!
188: "There's a big bear ass sticking out of a hole."
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TALK: Autistic Barbie. How does a 3-legged dog pee? How many bears can get stuck in a crawl space. Racist comic strips of old. Jim’s less-than-believable Australian accent.
SKETCHES: A new and improved useless gadget. Winter fun at Splatterland amusement park. The guy who wrote “Close Cover Before Striking.” Cowboys do commercials. And more.
187: "I'm sittin' there with a giant diaper on."
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TALK: Is God a loud talker? The guys try “Gadzooks!” as their new catch phrase. The guy who made Johnny Carson quit. How we know the Insult Comedy Dog. Jim’s grandpa’s funny way of saying hello.Â
SKETCHES: Insect love. More useless Duck Logic merch. Butt fashion. No crying in baseball. Community over-awareness. Plus, more.
186: "I don't want to know what your dad looks like naked."
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TALK: Holidays in Iowa City. Church merch. The Stonehenge gift shop. Druids. Walter’s sister buys him a whip. Cousins drop you on your head.
SKETCHES: A really loud chef. The wagon full of swag. Short Attention Span Theater. Voicemails from God. And more.
185: "Feel free to yell at our waitstaff."
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TALK: Local newscaster’s dancing. The streaming Oscars. The first A.I. reality show. Weed trees. Anime. Losing our cable TV award.Â
SKETCHES: The second best places for New Years Eve. Champaign made by ducks. Throwing produce at bicycles. Plus, more.
184: "Furries can have their own club."
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Merry Christmas Eve eve (for those who celebrate)!!
TALK: The guys talk about buffs. The finer points of furries. Pipe-fitters vs actors. Pre-roasted chestnuts. And who’s bringing the inflatable rat?
SKETCHES: Chipmunk pirates. Selfies with Santa. Forced family fun. And tattoos for the homeless. Plus, more.
183: "Kidnapping is not a big deal."
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TALK: A 4-year-old elevator operator. The Neil Diamond musical. Opening for Jonathon Brandmeier’s band. Animosity for Christmas. And prank kidnapping.
SKETCHES: Holiday blacktop service. Baby shopping. Insurance for your blanket. A leftover restaurant. Plus, more.
182: "Head cheese... I don't even know what that is."
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Tacky Christmas singers. 8-tracks. Latvian actors. Weird ethnic holiday food. Walt and Tim open a really boring advent calendar. And Jim gets hit with a rock.
Then: a commercial about Nothing. Hormonal underwear. Prescription cologne. And a song about the perils of an extended family Christmas. Plus more.
Ooops! All talking: "Every kid wanted sausage."
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Pulled from the DLCHH archives: the guys remember that one summer they started a theater camp for kids. Or did they? It’s foggy. Maybe they got one or two of the details wrong. Maybe all of them?
Then in the second segment the guys drink cocoa in their PJs and discuss the upcoming Christmas holiday. And Tim tells us about his pet possum.
181: "I smell like comedy."
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Frats without liquor. The good ol’ days of smoking. Jim almost burns down a forest. The penny’s last days. Truth about pilgrims. And Tim’s mic trouble.Â
Then sketches: Horoscope for stud muffins. The first Thanksgiving, probably. Louisiana, whether you like it or not. And of course, football. Plus more…Â
180: "You been to a lot of orgies?"
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Walt’s dad’s porn books. A.I. country music. The upside of participation trophies.Â
Then sketches: Stupidity. An explosive new bath soap. Mr. Analogy. And pumpkin spice in EVERYTHING. Plus, more…
179: "It isn't cheating unless you get caught."
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Tim love for Veteran’s Day. War movies. Jim’s toenail update. And Walter’s drunken bachelor party with his dad.Â
Then: Hollywood’s oldest toddler. The upside of infidelity. A really, really nice talk show. Plus more!
178: "They called me Carrot Head."
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Tim thought The Black Phone was cute. Hair transplant fails. Getting your dog drunk. And that time they rubbed radium on Walt’s head.
PLUS: Bras have a birthday. Custom condoms. Military movie posers. And what’s happening at the Mall.
177: "See what your taint's been up to."
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Self defense with a banana. Something gross fell off Jim. Walt's over-amorous family dog. And an A.I. search engine suggests new names for the pod.
Then: a sale on Halloween delinquent supplies. An unexpected hitchhiker. A conversation with a receding hairline. A scary boy loves his parents. Plus more!Â
176: "I'd let her check my pH."
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Climbing Mt Everest ain’t what it used to be. Bill Belichick’s new squeeze. Jim cleans his place for the TV guys. Walt’s one day job as a baby photographer.
THEN: Halloween bargains. Fall fun at a strawberry farm. Breakfast for dinner. And a detective who can straighten your spine.
175: "A 20,000-year-old porta potty."
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We are back!! Whoo! Hoo! We took a little break but now we’re back at it this week. We talk about the surgeries we got while we were out, a weekend by the lake, and Jim’s new on-line Master's degree. Then Tim recounts his rearend’s run-in with a yellow jacket and, of course, soup for cats…
Then Edie, the Breakfast Fairy introduces us to her new smokable friend, a word that sounds dirty but isn’t, and a porta potty from space.
Oops! All talking #6: "My grandfather's got pigs."
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Yeah, we know… We’re still kickin’ back. One last replay show. Promise.Â
This one has Jim telling us how he tried to make gun powder when he was a kid (and failed). Then an Olympic skier gets frostbite on his weewee!
Oops! All talking #5: "There's a raccoon in my beard!"
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In this week’s flashback, the Duck Logic guys talk about the start of the all-body, “butt deodorant” craze and how Walter swam naked in high school gym class. Then Jim wears googly eyes and we talk about Bob Dylan.
Oops! All talking #4: "Go for the ribs!"
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We’re still on break, sorry. Just gettin’ back from 3 days of fresh air, liquor, and videos games…
You? You get a flashback to the show where we improvised a fuzzy memory of the children’s TV show we did (or didn’t do) in a “Fowl Memory” extended cut segment.
Oops! All talking #3: "I think something's growing in your brain."
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The guys are taking a break so they’re sending along a few “best of” talkie bits from previous shows for your enjoyment.
Walt tells us about his “meat detective” dream. Then they remember the musical they did (or didn’t do) based on their cable TV show. Or not. It’s fuzzy. It might’ve happened. Probably not.
Oops! All talking #2: "Jesus was the original Long John Silver."
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Okay, we seriously needed a break so we’re dropping a “best of” from the archives---
That time we uncovered the truth behind Amelia Earhart’s disappearance and how there was someone with her on the plane! That time we did a show with a young Andy Dick. And then a church on TV calls their viewers “shut-ins.”
Oops! All talking #1: “You don’t want a bent carrot following you.”
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The Duck Logic guys are taking a much-needed break but didn’t wanna leave their loyal listeners hangin’, so here’s a little replay from the archives---
That time they talked about the pharma commercial with a cure for “crooked carrot” disease and Jim gettin’ lucky with a girl on the kitchen floor. Enjoy!
174: "The traditional William Shatner film festival."
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TALK: Living in an empty Hobby Lobby. A used pornography store. Betty Page. Elvis movies for the 21st century. And we question Jim’s “friendship” with the kids in his neighborhood.
SKETCHES: Canadian Labor Day. Larry David meets Zendaya. Kenny has a bonfire. Our audio centerfold. And a newsman tells a joke. Plus a few more things.
173: "I fed a banana to a goose."
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TALK: Crappy movie previews. “Poop coffee.” A zoo in Demark that’ll feed your pets to their lions. Farting at Veggie Fest. And Jim tells us about his best moment.
SKETCHES: Not-so-monster trucks. Franz Kafta’s bucket list. A song about lawyers. And whale farts.Â
172: "There's no telling where my penis will end up."
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TALK: Billy Jack, Kung Fu, Oddjob, Pale Rider, Buford Pusser. And Lollapalooza.Â
SKETCHES: Pajamas. Dudes in college. A hairbrush that works underwater. Flying Bad Boys.Â
171: "That's exactly how roast beef sounds."
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TALK: Our Last Supper musical. Ozzy’s funeral. Food touching. Chicago diners. Mohicans. And Billy Joel’s drinking, um, issues.Â
SKETCHES: Side Tracker, a detective who can't stay on task. The elephant in the room. A pretty complete back-to-college sale. And unless business advice. Plus more!
170: "We were getting along but we changed our mind."
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The guys talk about Walt’s new haircut. Ozzy, of course. Old geezer musical acts. Judgmental state fairs. And comedians lip-syncing jokes.
THEN sketches: Limericks from Pipefitters Union 597. Mini memorabilia. And an audio art project.
169: "I had a music teacher named Mr. Fluff."
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TALK: Shopping on the cheap. Defective foods. The passing of a stand-up we knew. Way too alternative bands. Roller rink tunes. And the tiny civilization that lives under a theater stage.
SKETCHES: Tales from the last tollbooth attendant. A highly opinionated traveler. A filter for the dumb things you say at work. And very durable condoms.
168: "The ass-less chaps were a nice touch."
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Talk: Jurassic Park sequels. The joy of scooterboards. The violence of The Honeymooners. Old TV war shows. Spinoff podcasts like: shirts vs. screwdrivers.
Sketches: Disinterested theater productions. Incoherent political shows. Suburban bars. Questionable grocery stores. Realistic porn.
167: "They're like furries but with pigeons."
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The guys talk about A.I. rock bands, A.I. commercials, and A.I. manifestos. Plus, crop dusting (the smelly kind), Jayne Mansfield, mac and cheese gummies, and Tim has mic trouble.
Then sketches… Poetic tributes to Benny Hill, notes from Walter’s brain, summer bars, and ancient poop.
166: "As long as the bat wears a teeny, tiny condom."
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Insects in basements. Bats in toilets. Laser scopes. Really bad movies. Watching the neighbor’s TV.
Then: the truth about the constitution, jacked up mid-summer sale prices, a fool’s errand. Plus, more.
165: "Their poop is very nutritious."
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The Duck Logic guys talk about worm farmers, competitive kite flying, grocery stores on wheels, and the children’s show Diver Dan.
Then: rhetorical questions, mushy cigarettes, a needless health class film, and a must-have unless kitchen item.
164: "It's starting to look like a drug den."
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This week, the conversation is about drug dens, how there used to be stereos, welding, shop class mishaps, Ferris Bueller and the joys of southern Illinois.Â
Then: sketches about a sale on matzas and the Shroud of Turin. Pajamas. Well-read mountain folk. And a song about water.
