Speaking of Suicide
Speaking of Suicide is made in support of and in collaboration with the Highland based charity Mikeysline. As well as hearing from people who have either suffered from mental health problems themselves or have lost someone to suicide Mikeysline provides insight and ideas for how to recognise if you’re vulnerable and what to do if you’re struggling. If you need someone to talk to, you can text Mikeysline on 07786 20 77 55 or contact via messenger, webchat or twitter. Sun-Thurs 6pm-10pm & Fri-Sat 6pm-11pm. Speaking of Suicide is an Adventurous Audio production made thanks to the support of D&D Pavi...
Trishna Singh OBE - The mental health burden of a life lived in 2 cultures
“Living your life in two cultures, mentally and physically, is a huge burden to carry all your life.”
Key Takeaways:
1. Suicide and mental health exist in every community — even when they’re hidden
Mental health struggles and suicide are not confined by geography, gender or ethnicity. Within Sikh and Punjabi communities, stigma and silence can make these issues almost invisible — but absence of statistics does not mean absence of pain.
2. Living between cultures can quietly intensify mental distress
Many people grow up navigating two worlds: traditional cultural expectations at home and m...
Linda Fisken – From Silence to Safe Spaces
“I’m in control of my mind. My mind’s not in control of me.”
In this raw and moving conversation Linda shares her journey through identity loss, marital breakdown, job loss, bereavement, severe mental illness and a planned suicide attempt.
What began as a gradual loss of confidence spiralled into overwhelming paranoia, intrusive thoughts and the terrifying sense that she was harming those she loved. After surviving a suicide attempt and spending time in psychiatric care, Linda slowly began to rebuild her life.
Determined that no woman should feel as alone as she once...
The Mental Turmoil of Menopause with Dr Sam Whiteside
“Suicidal ideation in perimenopausal women is seven times higher at this stage of life than at any other point in a woman’s life.” – Dr. Sam Whiteside
In this powerful episode of Speaking of Suicide, host Pennie Stuart speaks with Dr. Sam Whiteside of Whiteside Wellbeing, a GP and menopause specialist, about the overlooked ental health consequences of perimenopause and menopause.
With an estimated 400,000 women in Scotland navigating midlife hormonal change, this conversation explores the science behind mood changes, anxiety, brain fog and suicidal ideation during perimenopause. Drawing on research highlighted by the Royal College of Psych...
Speak Their Name - a radical act of remembering
“Our quilt is redressing the balance. It’s about how our loved ones lived their lives — and how we remember them.”
In this deeply moving episode of Speaking of Suicide, Pennie Stuart meets Susan Finlay and Sue Henderson from Lothian Speak Their Name to explore a remarkable community project: a touring memorial quilt honouring lives lost to suicide.
Each of the 49 squares has been lovingly created in memory of an individual — not to dwell on the manner of their death, but to celebrate who they were. From mountains and music to herons and sunflowers, every stitch spe...
Becoming a Young Widow: Lisa’s Story of Suicide Loss, Grief and Finding Hope
“I felt like a pair of scissors that was split in half and you just couldn't do anything… every single decision, every single part of your life is intertwined with Alan. And then to not have that, I just felt completely lost.”
What does it mean to become a widow at 31?
In this deeply raw episode of Speaking of Suicide, Lisa shares what life has looked like since her husband Alan died by suicide in March 2023. There was no note. No warning signs. No final conversation to explain why.
Left to raise their three...
Jacqui Waring - losing a son to schizophrenia and to suicide
"I started to grieve for everything he was losing long before we lost him...it wasn't just him that couldn't see any future clearly, it was me too"
Key takeaways from this podcast
Serious mental illness doesn't happen overnight, its a slow emergenceWe need to re-think how we work with families and loved onesAn inspirational example of turning grief into positive conversations for changeJacqui lost her son Will to suicide in July of 2024. At the time he was an in-patient at New Craigs psychiatric hospital in Inverness, being treated for schizophrenia. Will’s mental ill heal...
Haylis Smith - What if a conversation could save a life?
"I think it's really important if people are struggling and they have reached out that you take that time. I try to be as kind and caring and compassionate as I possibly can be"
Key takeaways from this podcast
We need to build in time, space and compassion to our lives to help and support people who are struggling. We all have a part to play in that in our lives.We can have these courageous conversations with people we are concerned about it and you will make a difference by opening up the conversation.<...
Charlotte's story - the pain of losing your bestie
"my heart was stopping, I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was dying, I couldn't see that it would ever be ok"
Counsellor Shona Macpherson's key takeaways from this podcast
The shock of losing someone to suicide can be utterly physical. Don't be surprised if your body shuts down in order to protect itself from the pain of grief.Friendship groups can be incredibly important to get you through extreme grief. There is a huge amount to learn from how Charlotte's friends coped in the aftermath of losing their great friend.Charlotte and Amelia had been...
Maike Mullenders – A Journey to acceptance
Maike’s father died by suicide when she was 21. For the following 30 years she has been not just coming to terms with the impact his death had on her, her mental health and wellbeing, but following a path of acceptance about his death.
This journey to acceptance isn’t to hold guilt or shame herself, but to allow the impact of her life trauma to be contained. By accepting her situation and circumstances and not continually seeking all the answers, Maike has found her way to peace.
Be aware, this conversation on Speaking of Suicide disc...
Alex and Cammy show the power of sharing and peer support
Meet Alex and Cammy, probably two of the last guys you'd ever look at and think they had mental health struggles but like loads of us, they do, but they've found a way to cope through the support of Andy's Man Club.
In the 2nd of our episodes from the remarkable Wilderness Wellbeing Retreat in the remote Scottish Highlands, Alex and Cammy from share their recovery journeys. For Alex it’s a story which led him from alcohol abuse to a point of crisis and a failed suicide attempt to then discovering Andy’s Man Club which he went on t...
When Wellbeing takes a Walk on the Wild Side
"Its been fantastic, I've done so many firsts, challenged so many fears ... I'm leaving feeling wonderful both physically and mentally"
How did Daz manage to go from extreme social anxiety to the above statement in a single weekend? Listen up to this week's ep!
After years of battling her mental health due to a chronic skin condition, Yazzie Basan turned her own mental ill health into a mission to help others and develop a unique wellbeing retreat in the Scottish Highlands. This isn't about formal therapy, its about a gang of strangers gathering in the w...
Saski Smith - the lifelong legacy of losing a parent to suicide
"Because I've seen suicide so persistent in my family, its felt like that's what I would have to do, or the only way that I would die"
Key takeaways from this podcast
Generational trauma as a result of suicide is real and shows trauma can be passed on from one generation to the nextsilence around suicide can breed shameunderstanding the pain of loss to suicide is hard but showing yourself love and compassion can fuel hopeAfter losing her dad to suicide when she was 12 and he was 38, it took Saski Smith over 20 years to be...
Cha Harris - an extraordinary insight into the world of self-harm
"I wrote on a piece of paper 'you're self-harming' then ripped it up...looking back I'm really proud that I wrote it down and put it there. If you're going to tell yourself something, say it loud!"
Key takeaways from this podcast
Self-harm can take many forms and happen for many different reasonsAccepting the truth of self-harm for yourself can be really importantMeeting self-harm with empathy and kindness, not judgement, is essentialSelf-harm is a symptom of underlying emotional painIt took a long time before Cha Harris realised she was self-harming because her self-harm didn’t ta...
Heather Sutherland - Suicide loss as the wallpaper to your life
"I never got to say goodbye, and he never said it to me, so our relationship, albeit in different forms, goes on"
Key takeaways from this podcast
Reframing our language to acknowledge that grief is a 'living' experience rather than a past-tense 'lived one' can be really helpfulRelationships don't necessarily end with deathframing helpful and courageous questions which can be answered, rather than one's without an answer, can help us to move forwardHeather lost her brother Martin to suicide in 2011, a bereavement which has had a profound impact on the course and focus of her...
Ross Kemp - the rise, fall and recovery of a gambling addict
“The anticipation of putting money on and the build-up of thinking you’d get something back”
Key takeaways from this podcast
You can be vulnerable, upset and angry, its about dealing with themGambling will eat you alive until you get out of itRecovery lies in honesty, with yourself and then othersRoss Kemp discovered the thrill of gambling from a young age. He traces it back to the amusement arcades as a child, the excitement of the flashing lights and noise, the joy of winning a toy. As he grew, so his interest in gambling...
Caroline Roodhouse - surviving and thriving after loss by suicide
“We’ve found him. He’s not alive. And it’s clear he has done it to himself” were the 15 words that would change Caroline Roodhouse’s life beyond imagination.
Key takeaways from this podcast
The value of friends at a time of crisis - none of us can do this aloneThe importance of compassion and kindness in supporting someone through griefThat healing is possible through trust, love and communityBut from the darkness of losing her husband to suicide Caroline has evolved from being a victim of loss by suicide to a survivor, and in her o...
Karen Sykes - Speak Their Name and the risk from losing both husband and daughter to suicide
"I'm a nurse of nearly 40 years and I didn't realise that after Ian's death that both myself and our children, Beth and all the children, were at higher risk of dying to suicide. That never actually entered my head."
Key takeaways from this episode:
If you lose a loved one to suicide that puts you at significant risk of suicide yourself and other mental health problems, particularly in the first year after losing them.Don't be afraid of that vulnerability but use that knowledge of risk to protect yourself by seeking out the right kind of...Orlagh and Sara - How do you explain suicide to a curious child?
"How was a nine-year-old supposed to feel? I didn't know what to say or think. I was emotionless at the time...everyone around me crumbled down in sadness, crying, deafening wailing, some pacing the floor, leaving the room. I thought I had to be like them. Am I supposed to cry? I'm not sure how long it took, but when it sunk in, I felt sad. Really, really sad. My mind couldn't understand what had happened to Callum, but I knew I'd never ever see him again"
Key takeaways:
Knowing what to say and when about...Mhairi Ross - saved by a simple question at a moment of crisis
"Everything came to a head one night, and fortunately, the right person asked me 'are you ok, what's wrong?' and I just broke down"
Key takeaways from this podcast:
Asking if someone is ok can literally save their life, never be afraid to ask.Don't be afraid to ask someone if they're feeling suicidal, it won't put the thought in their head, you won't make things worse by asking.After losing several important and close family members paramedic Mhairi went on a sharp decent into a crippling depression. Unable to share how she...
Alex Anderson - Can good ever come from tragedy?
"I think about him all the time really. But it's not every minute of every day, it's not every hour every day."
Key takeaways from this podcast
The perspective surrounding grief will evolve with time. Alex describes a hand in front of his face in the early stages of grief that slowly moves away allowing his perspective to change with time. The hand always remains there, but the picture around it fills up the space more with time.Don't harbour guilt. We hear from Alex how It can be a companion in the background but needn't be...Tom van den Hurk - A life reborn
"The first thought that went through my head was that it was not meant to be... ...this is not the end of your story, you are still needed on this planet, in this life"
Key takeaways from this podcast
We don't always have internal permission to do something, to open up. So by doing it slowly, gently and carefully Tom was building courage to remove stigma.
Tom van den Hurk revealed his own suicide attempt in a previous episode of the podcast when he was talking about called A Little While Longer. The film told...
Gill Skene – a story of surviving post-natal PTSD
"Suicide is the leading cause of death in the first year after a mum has given birth"
Key takeaways from this podcast
Compassion, kindness and listening to someone goes a huge way to helping people who are struggling with their mental health or feeling suicidal.Having the courage to speak to someone about your mental health can bring you hope.Like a lot of new parents, especially mums, Gill Skene was both scared and excited about becoming a parent but for Gill, the birth of her daughter was anything but perfect and the impact left her...
Steven Ferguson – Football is life, life is football
I think we feel a huge responsibility for our area and for our community. You always want to be able to do more, to have all the answers"
Key takeaways from this podcast
1. There are practical things you can do and learn to help support others around you with their mental health.
2. Football and wider sport are great vehicles for helping bring suicide support to communities around Scotland and break down stigma.
For Ross County CEO Steven Ferguson, football has a fundamental role in helping to promote good mental health, right across the...
Aileen Rore and Hamish Doherty – how do you tell your child about suicide?
Key takeaways from this podcast
Young people affected by suicide can carry huge anger, pain and confusion if they lose a parentThe biggest risk factor for young people affected by suicide is not being able to express their feelings.In this extraordinary episode Aileen shares how her husband, Josh, took his own life 10 years ago, leaving her to bring up 3 young children. She talks about how difficult it was to tell her children about what had happened, and the role honesty has played in their coping as a family. Now 18, Aileen’s oldest son, Hamish, talks wit...
Sheila Lockhart – reflecting on a brother through poetry
"It's absolutely true that bereavement by suicide is completely different from any other kind of bereavement. And don't think you ever get over it."
Key takeaways from this podcast
Don't assume that just because a family member may have been ill for some time, the grief and sense of loss is any less. It's not.Talking about grief and loss for some people is very hard and crippling.Find a way to get support that works for you if you are grieving.Writer Sheila Lockhart shares some of her recent poetry collection, Brother, inspired by her...
Paul Cameron – re-writing the story in your head through Tik Tok
"I pulled into lay by, and I cried my heart out. I howled, I pleaded, I looked at the sky, looked at everything, and I was like, please help me. I need some help"
Key takeaways from this podcast
It is possible to recover from trauma. When someone is struggling with their mental health don't ask "what's wrong with you?" Instead ask "What happened to you?"There is no one way to find healing for your mental health. Everyone is different in what they find helps.Riddled with anxiety, struggling with depression and feeling suicidal, Paul...
Georgia Bland – haunted by loss
"He'd come into the kitchen, obviously, to eat his lunch, and something in his head thought, nah, like, just do it now"
Key takeaways from this podcast
There are some risk factors that can lead to suicidal thoughts which can be identifiedSuicide is nobody's fault, there is no blame linked to suicide.There isn’t a day that goes by that Georgia doesn’t think about her brother Callum and his profoundly shocking choice to take his own life in what seemed like a spur of the moment decision. Nothing had prepared Georgia for suicide and the i...
Tom van den Hurk & David Barbour – Sharing stories of survival
"When I was a teenager I just felt I couldn't carry this pain any longer, it was just too much"
Key takeaways from this podcast
There is huge value in just pausing and taking a little while longer before taking any actions. If you stop and pause then hopefully you will find other routes out of your pain.Every 2 hours a man in the UK takes his own life. Inspired by that appalling statistic, film makers Tom van den Hurk and Dr Isa Rao spoke to 3 men about their mental health in their compelling documentary film, A...
Kate Forbes MSP – juggling parenthood, politics and crippling post-natal depression
“I got home and that’s when the sort of night terrors and the day terrors started. I was overwhelmed by fear for the baby’s health, I assumed I would be the person that would cause her pain and suffering and therefore it would have been better for me to be elsewhere”
Key takeaways from this podcast
We need to normalise the conversation about post-natal depression without stigma or judgement.Post-natal mental health difficulties can manifest themselves in several different waysNone of the conditions associated with post-natal depression mean that you are a bad mother or parent.K...
Catherine Simpson – a love letter to Tricia, a lost sister
Episode take-away: Find out what the specific thing is which helps you deal with losing someone you love and if you come from a world where silence is the norm, find a way to break it.
It’s coming up for 10 years since Catherine Simpson’s sister, Tricia, took her own life. In the aftermath of Tricia’s death Catherine – who’s a journalist and writer – went on a quest, picking through Tricia’s diaries, to try and get a better understanding of who her sister was and why she decided to take her life. The resulting book When I had...
Gemma - an inspirational story of loving life after an eating disorder
Episode takeaways: support makes all the difference and breaking the shame cycle means change can happen. Struggling with an eating disorder significantly increases your risk of suicide so don't struggle on your own.
Gemma's takeaway is “please don’t give up on yourself, seek support, reach out…it is possible to have a life after an eating disorder”
Gemma was very young when she started to struggle with how she felt about her own body. What started as over exercising spiralled into a long-term battle with bulimia and eventually, she attempted to take her own life. Thi...
Xani Byrne - Tandem Against Suicide in memory of Alice
Episode takeaway: Everyone is different. Xani found cycling as his way forward but yours might be writing or journaling or walking or something else, work with whatever helps you to make sense of the grief of suicide.
Xani had planned that it would be his sister Alice helping him cycle his tandem but after she took her own life at the start of 2022 he decided to turn the back seat of his tandem into a way of both remembering her and helping others.
In the summer of 2023, on what would have been Alice’s 30th bi...
Neve and Joanne Herron – a hugely inspirational tale of sharing from a Moray teen
Episode take-away: how to build resilience in the face of bullying through drawing on your support network, asking for help, growing your confidence and your sense of perspective.
“He was the smiley one that everyone would go to for a laugh”
16 year old Neve lost a good friend to suicide when he was just 13, now, in a bid to inspire other teens to feel more able to share when they’re struggling and hopefully be less afraid of the consequences of asking for help, Neve is opening up about her own battles with depression and anxiet...
Victoria Noone – A raw and painful account of the early stages of grief
Episode take-away: The value of finding a vehicle to process our grief journey through suicide and why writing might be a good way to process pain.
Heartbreakingly honest and deeply thought provoking.
Only a few weeks after Victoria lost her younger brother Sean to suicide she asked to share her experience of loss with us. Victoria felt really strongly that hearing about the early stages of grief is important, so anyone else going through a similar loss could find someone they could relate to. Throughout the episode we also hear some excerpts from Victoria’s diary...
Rachel Smart – And how she escaped from a ‘life in the shadows’
Episode take-away: The value of honesty and how to break the cycle of shame, isolation and helplessness that comes with addiction.
“We need to change how we view addiction so that people from all walks of life feel able to emerge from the shadows and seek help”.
Open, brave, honest and seriously inspiring, in this episode Rachel Smart, a journalist and recovering addict, who’s battled with depression and suicidal thoughts over many years, shares her story and how she managed to turn life around, emerge from those shadows and get her life back.
For R...
John Gibson - The Canmore Trust
In June 2022 John Gibson started walking the length of Great Britain, 1200 miles from Land’s End to John O' Groats, with the aim of starting a national conversation around suicide. His walk was in response to the moment in 2019, when John’s son, Cameron, took his life without warning. Left reeling and feeling utterly helpless in the aftermath of this devastating event John found walking a huge part of his finding his feet again so, along with founding The Canmore Trust charity, John decided to walk and talk about suicide with the mission of better understanding what can be done t...
Kev Stacey - Respite Rides with 42 Cycling
In this episode of Speaking of Suicide Dan joins Kev Stacey from Inverness’s 42 Cycling to explore the benefits of the wide-open environment on our mental health. Former Black Watch soldier, Kev takes Dan on a #RespiteRide and along the way talks about his experience of being injured in Iraq by an IED.
The aftermath of the attack led Kev to struggling with his mental health and a gambling addiction. It was the power of the bike that helped him pull himself back from the dark places that came in the aftermath of his injuries.
To...
Mike McCarthy - The Baton of Hope
Mike McCathy’s son wrote him a farewell letter. Ross asked his dad to campaign for better mental health support for people like him, people in need. That was all Mike needed to pick up the baton and devote himself to developing one of the biggest suicide awareness and prevention initiatives the UK has ever seen - The Baton of Hope.
Dan Holland talks to Mike about Ross and the aim of The Baton of Hope to create a society where suicide and suicide prevention are openly and widely discussed. Where we inspire hope through action and sup...
Russell Mullen
Imagine you are a cancer doctor who starts to worry that you too have cancer but that worry then grows and grows into an all-consuming obsession. Every day, day after day you go into work where you are having to diagnose and treat people with cancer, which all the while feeds your own horror that you might have it too. Sounds like a version of hell but that’s just what happened to Russell who Pennie talks to for this episode of Speaking of Suicide.
We don’t often hear from doctors about their own health problems - perha...
Gary Innes
International Shinty legend, BBC Radio Scotland presenter and acclaimed musician Gary Innes was 16 years old when one of his friends took their own life. At school it wasn’t talked about, it was moved silently to the side. Over the next 20 years a further 5 of his Lochaber Shinty Club teammates would do the same thing. This horror shook not just the world of shinty, but the whole of Lochaber. It left Gary feeling frightened about what would happen next.
Today Gary is trying to talk as much as possible about his teammates and our mental health, about re...
