The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
Nick and Amy are the creators and owners of the Ultimate Intimacy App and brand. They dive into all the tough topics regarding sexual and emotional intimacy, and discuss the things that most couples deal with regularly in marriage, that are seldom talked about on other podcasts. They are raw, unscripted, personal, and Nick will most likely say things he will regret ;)Â They have been married over 22 years and have 4 kids, 3 dogs, and share their own life experiences and trials that have helped them transform their own relationship. They are on a mission to help couples not just survive in m...
515. The Emotional And Sexual Needs Of Husbands That Wive's Often Dismiss Or Overlook - Part 1 With Austin
We hear a lot (and talk a lot) about what wives need to feel emotionally safe, loved, appreciated, and sexually connected in marriage. But what about husbands? What about the husband who works hard, loves his family, and tries to be a great spouse, yet quietly feels lonely, unappreciated, rejected, or unwanted? Are we overlooking the emotional and sexual needs of men in marriage?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Austin Ellis for an honest and eye opening conversation about what husbands really need...
514. Do We Put Too Much Emphasis On Sexual Intimacy In Marriage? - Reading A Listeners Email
Is sexual intimacy really as important in marriage as we make it out to be? Or have we put so much emphasis on sex that we've lost sight of what marriage is really about?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy read a thought-provoking email from a listener who challenges the importance we place on sexual intimacy in marriage. It raises some interesting questions that we believe many couples have probably wondered about but rarely discuss.
Should sex be such a big priority in marriage?Â
Can a...
513. If You Struggle With These Things, Your Marriage Needs This - With Austin
What if you could take one trip together and come home feeling closer, more connected, more passionate, and more in love than you have in years?
When couples write to us asking for help, almost every message comes back to the same two things: “We need to communicate better” and “We need more intimacy and connection in our relationship.”
So we decided to create an experience completely centered around BOTH.Â
In this episode, Nick and Amy sit down with marriage and intimacy therapist Austin Ellis, LMFT, to give you an inside look at what coup...
512. Why The Devil Does Everything He Can To Get You In The Bedroom Before You're Married, And Then Keep You Out Of The Bedroom Once You're Married
Have you ever stopped to think about how strange this is that before marriage, most couples can't keep their hands off each other. The attraction is intense. The passion is exciting. The desire to be physically intimate can feel almost impossible to resist. They dream about their wedding night, look forward to being together, and can't wait to experience sexual intimacy with the person they love.
But then something happens. They get married and the intimacy stops.
The very thing they once couldn't wait to experience together suddenly becomes something they struggle to make time...
511. I've Told You What I Need... So Why Does Nothing Change? Part 2 - With Austin
We’re back with Part 2, and we’re going even deeper!
What happens when you’ve clearly told your spouse what you need, they KNOW you’re hurting, and yet... nothing seems to change?
In this episode, Nick and Amy continue their conversation with marriage therapist Austin Ellis, LMFT, about breaking the frustrating cycle of repeating yourself, feeling ignored, getting defensive and eventually giving up.
We talk about what REAL change looks like, why good intentions aren’t always enough, how to actually follow through for your spouse, and what to do...
510. How Much Of Libido Is Mental? Better Sex Starts Here...
She’s thinking about the kids, schedules, work, groceries, appointments, laundry, what needs to happen tomorrow, the conversation she forgot to have, the thing she needs to order, and the 37 other tabs still open in her brain.
Then her husband reaches over hoping for intimacy... and she feels like she has absolutely nothing left to give.
Sound familiar?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and Amy, we’re talking about something that could be quietly destroying sexual desire in marriage: mental exhaustion.
For many...
509. I've Told You What I Need... So Why Does Nothing Change? Therapist Interview Part 1
Have you ever looked at your spouse and thought, “How many times do I have to say this before something actually changes?”
You’ve explained what you need. You’ve tried being nice about it. You’ve brought it up during a calm conversation. You’ve probably brought it up during a not so calm conversation too.Â
You’ve told them you need more affection. More help. More communication. More initiation. More appreciation. More quality time. More intimacy. More effort.
They say they hear you.
Maybe they even promise to do better.<...
508. All Of The Negative Things That Can Happen From "Not Talking About It" In Marriage
We’ve talked a lot on the podcast and in our newsletters about what to do when your spouse doesn’t want to talk. But what we haven’t really done is explore all the ways “not talking about it” can negatively impact a marriage—and trust us, there are a lot.
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive deep into the ripple effects that happen when one spouse shuts down communication. From emotional distance and resentment to sexual disconnect and lost trust, we break down each consequence and explain...
507. Part 2 - A Listeners Email - When A Good Husband Is Fulfilling ALL Of His Wives Needs, But Still Gets No Effort From Her
In this part 2 episode we continue our discussions about a listeners email with therapist Austin about what happens when one spouse is giving everything they have to the marriage but still feels unwanted, unimportant, and completely alone? If you haven't listened to episode 505 yet, listen to that one first.Â
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🔥 Haven’t checked out the Ultimate Intimacy App yet? Now’s the perfect time! Find “Ultimate Intimacy” in the app stores or visit ultimateintimacy.com
and discover how to bring real connection, excitement, and fun back into your ma...
506. 8 Reasons To Initiate Even If You Are NOT In The Mood: Does The Lower Desire Spouse Have Responsibility For Creating Passion Too?
Who usually initiates sexual intimacy in your marriage? If the answer is almost always the same spouse, this episode could be a game changer for your relationship.
Initiating sex is about so much more than sex. It communicates desire, attraction, love, and reassurance. It tells your spouse, “I still choose you. I still want you.” When only one spouse initiates, they may begin to feel unwanted, rejected, or like intimacy only happens because they ask for it.
In this episode, Nick and Amy discuss why both husbands and wives need to take turns initiating, even when...
505. A Listeners Email - When A Good Husband Is Fulfilling ALL Of His Wives Needs, But Still Gets No Effort From Her
What happens when one spouse is giving everything they have to the marriage but still feels unwanted, unimportant, and completely alone?
In this powerful episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy sit down with marriage therapist Austin to discuss a listener’s deeply honest letter about the emotional and sexual intimacy gap. They explore why husbands need to feel pursued and desired too, how one spouse can become comfortable while the other quietly suffers, and why regular sex does not always make someone feel truly wanted.
You will also learn how childhood experiences, fe...
504. Female Pleasure and Orgasm: 15 Things Every Couple Should Know?
Why do some wives struggle to enjoy sex or experience orgasm? In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy share 15 important facts about female orgasm and explore the physical, emotional, hormonal, and relational factors that can affect a wife’s pleasure and desire.Â
Whether you are a husband wanting to understand your wife better or a wife wondering why intimacy feels difficult, this episode offers practical insights to help couples communicate, remove pressure, and create more enjoyable and connecting sexual intimacy.
Here is a link to the amazing products that we mention in...
503. Part 2 To Episode 501 - How Men Can Harness And Manage Their Strong Sex Drive And How Women Can Awaken Theirs - With Austin
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy continue their discussion from episode 501 with Austin, and discuss one of the most common dynamics in marriage: different levels and patterns of sexual desire.
For many husbands, sexual desire can feel strong, spontaneous, and always ready to go. But instead of allowing that desire to turn into frustration, pressure, or resentment when intimacy doesn’t happen, men can learn how to harness that energy and use it in other ways to strengthen attraction, connection, and their marriage.
For many wives, desire may work differently. Ra...
502. He Wants Sex To Feel Connected. She Wants Connection To Want Sex. Why we view it so differently...
Why do two people who deeply love each other sometimes struggle so much in the bedroom?
This week on the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive into one of the biggest sources of frustration in marriage: men and women often experience and understand sex very differently.
When we view our spouse's sexual behavior through our own lens, it's easy to feel rejected, pressured, unwanted, or misunderstood. But when we understand why our spouse may view physical intimacy differently, those differences can become a bridge instead of a barrier.
...
501. Why Do So Many Issues In Marriage Correlate With Sex, Or The Lack Thereof? Part ONE - With Austin
Why does sexual intimacy seem to be connected to so many other areas of marriage?
When couples are struggling with communication, resentment, emotional disconnection, trust, affection, stress, or feeling unappreciated, their sex life often struggles too. And when sexual intimacy disappears or becomes a source of conflict, those other problems can sometimes feel even bigger.
So is sex actually causing the problems, or is the lack of sex revealing problems that already exist?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy sit down with marriage therapist Austin, LMFT, to unpack...
500. Why Feeling Pressured For Sex Is A Desire Killer For Wives (And How To Fix It)
Why Feeling Pressured for Sex Is a Turn-Off for Wives
What if the very thing you're doing to get more sex is actually the thing making your spouse want less sex?
This week on the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy tackle a topic that can create a lot of frustration in marriage: why feeling pressured for sex can be such a major turn-off for wives.
There’s a big difference between feeling wanted and feeling expected. For many women, sexual desire is responsive which means it often grows ou...
499. Why Does the Pursuit Stop After Marriage? with Therapist Austin
Why do we put so much effort into winning our spouse’s heart while dating, only to slowly stop doing those same things once we’re married?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy sit down with marriage therapist Austin, LMFT, to talk about one of the most common traps couples fall into: getting comfortable and unintentionally stopping the pursuit.
When you were dating, you probably made time for each other, planned dates, flirted, showed affection, listened closely, expressed appreciation, and looked for ways to make the other person feel wanted. But...
498. Does More Respect Equal Better Sex In Marriage?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive into the critical connection between mutual respect and sexual intimacy in marriage. While it is common for husbands to seek greater physical connection and wives to crave emotional connection, a lack of respect often creates a disconnect that impacts both areas. We emphasize that a passionate, fulfilling intimate life is built on a foundation of daily respect, teamwork, and intentional effort.
They outline 10 practical ways couples can demonstrate respect to strengthen their bond, cultivate trust, and ultimately improve their intimate relationship:
Speak Kindly...497. Want to Feel Closer, More Connected & More Desired? Start Here - With Therapist Austin
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick & Amy sit down with therapist Austin to unpack Stephen Covey’s classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—but with a marriage twist!
We take all 7 habits and talk about what they actually look like inside a marriage, from taking responsibility for your own behavior to learning how to truly listen, creating win-win solutions, prioritizing your relationship, and continuing to grow together.
Because a strong marriage doesn't just happen. It takes intentional habits.
And one of t...
496. Why The Best Sexual Intimacy Might Start With This Weekly Marriage Meeting
What if 20 simple questions could help you reconnect, reduce resentment, improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and even improve your sex life?
In this fun, relaxed Tuesday episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick & Amy, we’re sharing our honest opinions, experiences, laughs, and what we believe can make a huge difference in your marriage.
We’re walking through our Weekly Marriage Meeting... 20 questions designed to help couples check in with each other before small issues become big problems.
We talk about everything from:
What went well in y...
495. The Respect Your Marriage Is Missing (And You May Not Even Realize It) - With Therapist Austin
What does respect really look like in marriage? It’s so much more than simply being polite or avoiding arguments. Respect is shown in the way we speak to our spouse, the way we respond when we disagree, the way we treat them when we’re frustrated, and the way we speak about them when they aren’t in the room.
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and Amy, we’re talking all about what it means to truly show respect in your marriage—and why respect is such an important foundation...
494. Is This OK? The Marriage Bed Questions Couples Are Asking... And Our Honest Answers
Sex can be one of the most powerful ways a husband and wife connect. When intimacy is approached in a healthy way, it can deepen emotional connection, build trust, increase affection, and strengthen your marriage in incredible ways.
But the opposite can also be true. There are things couples can introduce into their sexual relationship that may seem harmless at first but can slowly create distance, hurt trust, or damage the marriage. That’s one reason we receive SO MANY questions from couples asking, “Is this okay?” or “Is this something we should be doing in our m...
493. The #1 Marriage Mistake: If You Want Healthy, Happy Kids Stop Putting Them Before Your Spouse - Therapist Austin Interview
Should Your Spouse Really Come First?
It's one of the most controversial messages we share, and every time we talk about it, the comments explode.
Should your spouse come before your children? Before your career? Before your friends? Is putting your spouse first actually healthy... or is it outdated advice?
In this thought provoking episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy talk with Austin and tackle one of the biggest debates in marriage. They discuss why prioritizing your spouse is often misunderstood, and what "putting your spouse first" really...
492. Answering The Most Common Questions People Ask About Us - Some Of Them Might Surprise You
Get to know Nick & Amy like never before!
In this fun, honest, and personal episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we're pulling back the curtain and answering some of the questions we get asked most often about our own marriage. After more than 24 years together, we've experienced incredible highs, painful lows, seasons of deep connection, and times when we had to intentionally fight for our relationship.
We're sharing real thoughts and lessons we've learned the hard way, and the things that have helped us build a stronger marriage through every season...
491. Are You Having Sex, But Still Feel Lonely, Disconnected And Unseen? - With Austin
Have you ever felt like something is missing in your marriage, but you just can't put your finger on it? Maybe your communication isn't terrible, your intimacy isn't nonexistent, and you still love each other... yet something feels off.
What if the real issue isn't your sex life or communication at all?
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy are joined by special guest and therapist Austin to explore the many different types of intimacy every marriage needs to thrive. From emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual intimacy to recreational, intellectual, and...
490. The Myths About Sex That Keep You From Having The Intimate Life You Desire
Most couples never realize they've been believing lies about sex for years.
They compare their marriage to Hollywood, social media, or unrealistic expectations and then wonder why intimacy feels disappointing, frustrating, or disconnected. The truth? Many of the "rules" we've been taught about sex are actually the very things keeping us from experiencing the passionate, connected, and fulfilling intimacy we all want.
In this eye-opening episode, Nick and Amy expose some of the biggest myths about sex and reveal the truths that can completely transform your intimate relationship.
You'll discover why:
Waiting...489. EVERYTHING In Your Marriage Comes Down To Your Spouse Feeling Safe With You - But What Does That Even Look Like? - With Austin
In episode 433 with Austin Ellis, we talked about how a man can be a better husband and father and discussed safety in marriage. If your wife doesn't feel safe in your marriage, nothing else really matters. She needs to feel safe sexually, safe emotionally, safe physically, and safe spiritually. But what does that look like?
In this episode Nick and Amy have Austin back on to dive deeper into safety in marriage, and what it looks like to feel safe for a wife and husband. When your spouse feels safe, everything changes.Â
If you haven't a...
488. 11 Things Every Wife Should Know (Survey answers from the husbands)
A few weeks ago, we did a podcast titled: 11 Things Every Husband Should Know (But Somehow Missed The Memo). Now it's time for the flip side.Â
In this fun and honest episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy reveal 11 things every wife should know—but somehow missed the memo. From what husbands secretly long for to the little things that make a huge difference in marriage, they share practical insights that can transform your relationship. Whether you've been married for one year or thirty, this episode is full of "I never knew that!" mom...
487. Why Do We Keep Having The Same Fights And Issues Over And Over Again? How Can We Actually Change? - With Austin
Many couples tell us, and we’ve seen it in our own marriage too, that they keep running into the same arguments over and over again. Even after trying counseling, things might improve for a short time… but before long, they slip right back into the same patterns.
So what actually creates lasting change in a relationship?
In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and Amy, we talk with Austin, a therapist who often works with couples after they’ve already seen two or three other counselors and are feeling discouraged that nothin...
486. How To Become An Expert At Having Intimate Conversations - For A Better Intimate Life
For most couple's, talking about sex is a very difficult thing to do. It often times turns into an argument and can cause even more of a disconnect in the relationship. If you are one of these couples, you are not alone and will see from our poll that most couples have a hard time talking about sexual intimacy in their relationship.Â
But remember, if you want to get better at something, or even become an expert at it, you have to talk about it all the time!
Consider this, if something causes an argument i...
485. The Hidden Marriage Killer: Obligatory Sex - With Austin Part 2
In this powerful follow-up episode, we continue our conversation with therapist Austin about one of the most misunderstood topics in marriage: obligatory sex. If you haven't listened to Part 1 (Episode 483), we highly recommend starting there first.
In this episode, we dive deeper into why obligatory sex happens, the emotional and relational patterns that fuel it, and what couples can do to break free from the cycle. If you want to build greater intimacy, understanding, and connection in your relationship, you won't want to miss this important conversation.
🔥 Haven’t checked out the Ultimate Intimacy App<...
484. 11 Golden Marriage Rules For A Passionate and Healthy Marriage Relationship
We are getting close to 500 episodes of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, and after all this time, we’ve talked about almost every marriage topic imaginable — communication, connection, intimacy, conflict, trust, romance, and everything in between.
But every once in a while, something crosses our path that makes us stop and say, “We need to talk about this.”
That happened when we came across a post titled “The 11 Golden Rules of Marriage.” It wasn’t just another list of marriage tips — it was a simple but powerful reminder of the things that truly matter whe...
483. The Hidden Marriage Killer: Obligatory Sex - With Austin Part 1
Obligatory sex is when one spouse engages in sexual activity not because they feel desire, but because they feel pressured, obligated, or afraid of disappointing their spouse.Â
We hear this all the time where the lower desire spouse just has sex out of obligation and both couples are unhappy.Â
When this happens regularly, this dynamic erodes trust, creates resentment, and negatively impacts emotional and physical intimacy for both spouses.Â
Many couples fall into this pattern unknowingly. It may start with good intentions: one spouse wants to please the other, avoid conflict, or keep pea...
482. 11 Things Every Husband Should Know (But Somehow Missed the Memo)
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy explore the 10 things wives wish their husbands truly understood. Drawing from conversations with thousands of women, personal experiences, and years of helping couples strengthen their marriages, they discuss the emotional, relational, and practical needs that often go unspoken.
From the importance of emotional connection and feeling appreciated to communication, affection, partnership, and intimacy, this episode offers husbands valuable insights into what many wives desire most in a healthy, thriving marriage. Nick and Amy also share simple, actionable ways husbands can better love, support, and...
481. What Does It Mean To Be United And "One" In Marriage - With LMFT Austin
If you're a regular listener of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, you've probably heard Austin talk about the importance of becoming "one" in marriage. But what does that really mean, and why is it so important for creating a thriving relationship?
In this episode, Austin dives deep into the concept of unity in marriage and explains why so many couples struggle to feel connected despite living under the same roof. In today's world, it's easy for spouses to become independent roommates—pursuing separate interests, managing their own lives, making individual decisions, and gradually drifting apart without even realizing it...
480. Should Sex Be Viewed As Just "Optional" In A Good And Healthy Marriage? - Responding To A Listeners Email
Has sexual intimacy become viewed as "optional" in your marriage?
If your spouse came to you before you got married and said "Just so you know, when we are married, I am never going to be sexual intimate with you" would you have still got married? Of course not, because BOTH men and women know that sexual intimacy is vital to a happy and healthy marriage. So why do some many people (low desire spouses) treat sex as "optional" after they get married?
So many good husbands reach out to us sharing a...
479. The Intimacy Crisis No One Talks About: Porn, Trust, And Reconnecting As A Couple With Austin LMFT
In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Austin have an honest and vulnerable conversation about the real reasons many men turn to porn and the devastating impact it can have on emotional connection, trust, and intimacy in marriage. They discuss the deeper struggles often happening beneath the surface, including loneliness, stress, rejection, shame, unmet emotional needs, unhealthy coping habits, and the lack of true connection many couples silently experience.
This episode is not about blame or condemnation. Instead, it’s about understanding the “why” behind the behavior, opening up healthy communication, and creating a path t...
478. Interpreting Your Wife - What Your Wife Really Means When She Says These Things :)
In this fun and lighthearted episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive into the secret language of marriage and uncover what wives really mean when they say things like:
“I’m fine…”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
"It's Ok."
“Go ahead.”
And the legendary… “Whatever.”
Guys, this episode might just save your life!
Nick and Amy break down these classic marriage phrases with humor, honesty, and real relationship wisdom as they talk about communication, emotional connection, mi...
477. Why "Talking" About Your Sex Life With Your Spouse Doesn’t Automatically Make It Better - What To Do With Sex Therapist Austin
In most marriages, one spouse has a higher desire for intimacy, while the other has a lower desire. And if you’re being honest… navigating that difference can feel exhausting, confusing, and lonely.
You talk about it. You have the hard conversations. Things improve for a few days… maybe even a week. But then somehow, you find yourselves stuck in the exact same argument again and again, wondering why nothing is actually changing and why your spouse still doesn’t seem to hear or respond to what you need.
So what do you do when communic...
476. What Does Love Really Look Like? - 12 Signs Of True Love In Marriage
In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy dive into one of the most important questions in marriage: What does true love actually look like in marriage?
Real love is about so much more than attraction, romance, or grand gestures. It’s revealed in the everyday moments, through kindness, sacrifice, emotional connection, commitment, physical intimacy, and the way spouses continue choosing each other through every season of life.
Whether your marriage feels strong right now or you’re working to reconnect, this episode will encourage you to nurture the habits that create deep...
