Growing Up Christian

This week Sam is joined by friends Chris and Doug to review “Halfway 2 Jesus,” a brand new gospel album from acclaimed singer/songwriter Bob Ritchie, aka Kid Rock! Bob is widely known for his Christian beliefs and positive message, so we’re all itching to hear what’s behind the clip art on the cover. If nothing else, it’s interesting to hear what a hungover Pete Hegseth listens to in the Blackhawk on his way to the whites only worship service... Enjoy the show!

This week we scour the market for a faith-based alternative to (de)Monster Energy, a satanic product that the Antichrist (Peter Thiel) will sip from a champagne glass from his front row seat overlooking the tribulation guillotines. Like Frodo(Casey) and Sam(Sam, but fatter) ascending the craggy slopes of Mt Doom(Shopify), we march with steadfast courage toward our likely demise (pancreatic cancer). Drink responsibly!

This week we’re joined by Cal and Ant from LOUDSOUNDS! We got together to talk about Ant’s trip down the Catholic-to-protestant-to-exvangelical log flume, and discuss their upcoming album, The Shape of Your Ghost. Check out their new single of the same name wherever you stream music, pre-save the new album, and follow LOUDSOUNDS on Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube (@loudsoundsband)!

This week we’re examining the accounts of three pioneers in the spiritual, metaphysical, and cosmic frontiers – Nik Keswani, Queen Okeoma, and Gabe Poirot! While their planes of exploration are all different, what unites them is burning desire to share the love of Christ for clout and coin. So buckle up, fellow starseeds, we’ve got a lot of grift to sift!

This week we’re chatting about Kathryn Krick’s BOMBSHELL interview on the Tamron Hall show, boomers being conned out of house and home by Tim Tebow, and the Andy Elliott of time travelling vampire hunters, Katie Souza. Enjoy the show!

This week we’re discussing the strange, unsettling influx of internet prophets. They seem to be everywhere, right now, and it’s hard to imagine anyone taking these people seriously. They certainly do, though! Plus, we talk about goat-eyed Ed Sheeran caving to Robert “Rub’n’Tug” Kraft and his clown car of billionaire douchebags over Macklemore’s pro-Palestinian/anti-child murder statement. We went a little long, but we hope you enjoy it!

This week we’re joined by Josh Carley, writer and director of the upcoming indy horror/pulp crime film, Sin On A Sunday! Here’s the synopsis:

“Louisiana pastor Ron Hill has the God-given ability to heal the sick and the lame - or does he? When a woman shows up at Ron's church looking for guidance, he's forced to face the reality of who he really is.”

Josh and his team are in the process of crowdfunding this movie, and they could use your help bringing it to life. Go to www.sinonasunday.com for more...

This week we’re checking in on a few of the old school Christian bands from our youth! It seems like the Christian rock industry is in turmoil, and there are a few lawsuits in process right now as they feud with fans, tour partners, and management. Then we’re taking a look at an unusual youtube ministry I stumbled across called The Webbed Witnesser. It sure is refreshing to finally see someone making “logical” arguments on behalf of the Church… Enjoy the show!

This week we’re examining Whitehouse wetnurse Natalie Harp’s “dear Don” letters, which may be the last vestiges of New World romantic literature. Then we’re sliding over to r/christiandating, where a young 20-something man has managed to crack the code on Christian dating, and let me tell you, he’s not interested in your worldly opinions on it.

This week we’re joined by our buddy Jesse to discuss the accusations surrounding Psuedo-Messiah Geordavie, “Apostle” Katherine Krick, and hype house-disguised-as-a-church, 5F! Shockingly, a guy who rolls into church in a limousine wearing a crown with followers who drop to the floor when he touches them seems to have used his influence to sexually harass women. Crazy! Anyways, we hope you enjoy the show!

This week we’re joined once again by our friend, comedian and actor Mike Valdes! Topics of discussion include a freaky couple kicked off a flight for sharing a drink, a wife from Reddit that’s laying down the law on barbaric practice of “spousal discipline,” and the worst pastor in America, Steven Anderson, who is under fire (and hopefully soon to die in prison) for he and his wife’s despicable treatment of their children. Mike has sooo many cool things happening right now, a lot of which he’ll be announcing soon. Follow him on Instagram(@mikevaldes) to stay up t...

This week we discuss the series of unfortunate events that has befallen tent revivalist and modern day Van Helsing Greg Locke, a woman led by the Spirit to preach her way onto the No Fly List, and we weigh in on a Reddit debate for the ages: are adult toys the equivalent of the puzzle box from Hellraiser? Enjoy the show!

This week we’re hanging out with our buddy, comedian Spencer Bland! We discuss Spencer’s recent travels across the fruited plains of God’s favorite country, a husband’s bizarre use of modern technology, and how Taylor Sheridan is boomers’ favorite set of jingling keys. We had a blast hanging out with Spencer, and you can too at one of his upcoming comedy shows:

July 24 – Santa Monica, CA

July 25 – Mission Viejo, CA

July 31 – Yorba Linda, CA

Go to www.godsfavoritecomedian.com for tickets and additional info, and follow Spencer on Instagram and Ti...

This week we’re discussing the disappointing downfall of the Graham Platner, the death of a real life nephew of Uncle Sam, Lindsey Graham, a controversial cleft between prospective parents and a surrogate mother in Canada, and finally, some r/christianmarriage drama revolving around their lust management systems. Hope you enjoy the show!

This week we’re welcoming back our good friend and artist Jillian! We get some Reddit takes as to why 40-something Christian men so often list that they are in search of women 20-35 years old (big brain stuff), the toughest parts of getting older and attempting to control your negative impulses, making friends as an adult, and finally, longtime internet laughing stock and recent Christian bandwagoner, Andy Elliott. Andy has a passion for sales training, a disdain for fat people, and a propensity to break the law when it suits him. He really missed his calling to be a...

This week we’re discussing a couple of pastors at opposite ends of the country who found themselves in hot water: one for running a bathroom surveillance operation in an unexpected place, and the other for beating the brakes off a young neighbor across the street from his church. Then we’re exploring a new and exciting subreddit that one of you fine people suggested, r/ldssexuality! Research is ongoing, but my preliminary investigation has shown this to be a very different sort of place than the Evangelical subreddits we’re accustomed to. So prepare yourself for new levels of hor...

This week we have a variety of stories for you! We’ll start off on Reddit with a man asking why a loving God would create him with mental health issues, after which he’s scolded repeatedly by “tough love” Church guys. Next we’ll talk about a man who leaned heavily on AI chatbots to make one of the most important decisions in his life. Then we’re examining a couple of businesses with particularly interesting ways of incorporating Christ into their grift: Nava Realty Group, a custom home builder out of Texas, and Grooveberries Frozen Yogurt in Coeur d’Alen...

This week we’re checking out some r/christiandating and r/christianmarriage posts about leaving your boyfriend/husband. Then we’re discussing “Dr” David E. Clarke, a Christian psychologist of dubious credentials who has authored 17 books and gives some very concerning relationship and parenting advice. A so-called expert on narcissists (or “narcs” as he insists on calling them), Dr Clarke proports to diagnose your partner’s narcissism and tell you which of his books will fix all of your problems over the course of a 45 minute “advice session” phone call. What an incredible spiritual gift, huh? So lock your narc out of the ho...

This week we start off with a Reddit post from a incensed accountant who asks whether or not it’s her Christian duty to lose her job over processing an expense from the boss she doesn’t like. Then we’re sifting through the somewhat recent scandals of Ted Shuttlesworth Jr. – the creeper in the code! Teddy comes from a long line of charismatic doomsayers and flimflam men plaguing south Florida, where he and his wife Carolyn pastor Miracle Word Church in West Palm Beach. Ted came under fire earlier this year when he confessed to having “loose and inappropri...

This week we’re chatting about how cheap Sam is, the Graham Platner smear campaign, whether or not it’s sinful to be a furry, and then we’re doubling back on the Book of Alma! According to Reddit Mormons, we skipped over one of the most exciting stories Joseph Smith committed to paper when we got bored and skipped the second half of the book. It’s the story of Moroni’s suppression of a rebellion, his vanquishing of the eternally naughty Lamenites, and the introduction of a very funny character that I just couldn’t wait to tell Sam abo...

This week we're reuniting with an old friend of ours from the Liberty University days, fashion designer and artist Isaiah Isaac! Isaiah has a story unlike any we've covered on the show. By the time we met him, he had pretty much come to grips with the fact that he was gay, and he didn't spend his time at Liberty trying to "reform" himself. There was no way Christian college was going to keep his attention, though, so he left LU and started working towards a career in the fashion industry where he has been very successful. Isaiah is...

This week we’re combing through the internet and offering some sage wisdom to the frustrated women of r/christianmarriage and r/christiandating! Then we’re discussing the arrest of the “holiest man alive,” missionary Daniel Savala. He recently pled guilty to abusing boys for decades, which some worry may tarnish his reputation. What a world, huh? However, Savala seems to be the tip of a horrifically large iceberg…

This week we’re revisiting the must-have book for any parent: Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson, the Kim Il Sung of Focus on the Family! There’s a riveting chapter about the perils of child drug abuse, and Jimmy D will teach you the symptoms and slang terms necessary to spot a budding barbiturate dependency in your tipsy teen-turned-prostitute. But before that, we’re once again cracking open the Apocrypha to study a scathing rebuke of both potty mouths like Sam and, well... women in general. Enjoy the show!

This week we’re catching up on a few stories that have been in the news, including Russel Brand sharing his powerful testimony with Pierce Morgan, the very real and terrifying Iranian dolphin torpedo threat, and The Onion’s acquisition of InfoWars! Then we dive into some of our favorite subreddits, including r/christiandating and r/christianmarriage for some salient relationship advice including when it’s appropriate to use law enforcement as a means of teaching your wife Biblical submission. Enjoy the show!

This week we’re joined by our old friend Jay to discuss Twitch lolcow and one of the most annoying internet creatures in recent memory, DrWitnesser/TheFaithfulSheriff! The gimmick is simple: clip farm your streams by “sharing the Gospel” in the most shallow way imaginable with your Fortnite lobby of mostly children. When people inevitably react to the rage-bait tactics, cry about being persecuted for your beliefs. It’s a tried-and-true scheme, but one that TheFaithfulSheriff puts a fresh spin on by directly copying the personas of more successful streamers. Now add in the fact that he’s a sloppymaxx...

This week we’re taking a look at a fascinating book written by the late great Dr. James Dobson: “The New Dare to Discipline.” This quintessential parenting guide was originally written by the good doctor while his own children were still in preschool, which the haters will say invalidates its timeless Biblical themes and enhanced interrogation techniques. However, the “New” Dare to Discipline is an updated version that is kid-tested, Dobson approved (in much the same way that hair loss medications and carcinogenic cosmetics used to be tested on golden retrievers). We’re going to focus on a fantastic chapter call...

This week, we’re taking a look at some of the weirdest behavior Jehovah’s Witness families see as normal, tackling the tough subject of gendered undergarments as an afront to God, and offering moral and spiritual support to a sister in Christ whose unwavering, lily white purity grinds the gears of the dirty reprobates around her. Enjoy the show!

This week we’re joined once again by our friend, comedian Spencer Bland! We discuss an impromptu road trip with the most racist tow truck driver in all of Mormondom, recent news about former first gentleman of South Dakota Bryon Noem, and then we dive into some irritating/horrifying advice questions on r/ChristianMarriage. Spencer will be on tour at the end of the month, and he’s hitting a number of cities across the country including:

4/17 – Los Angeles, CA

4/20 – Denver, CO

4/23 – Minneapolis, MN (w/Will Abeles)

4/24 – Erie, PA (Flagship Comedy Festival)

This week we’re checking in on America’s ickiest family outside Capitol Hill, the Duggars! These folks just can’t seem to stay out of the spotlight. While Josh has traditionally generated most of the Duggar-related headlines, his brother Joseph and wife Kendra are giving him a run for his money. It’s a disgusting, shocking story and we hope they get what they deserve. Then we discuss a local hero whose good deeds are almost too abundant to list, but that’s not going to stop him from trying… Enjoy the show!

This week we’re digging into some advice posts on Reddit! The online church is fielding a wide variety of questions from alternative engagement jewelry, to alarmingly possessive boyfriends, to the very real threat of demonic porn possession. Come along with us while we assist these brothers and sisters in Christ!

Well, I guess we’re at war… again. So we’re lamenting the fact that our country seems bound and determined to drag the world into a meat grinder one more time before the empire dissolves, and then we examine a post from a young man who is bound and determined to drag his fledgling relationship into the meat grinder before it even starts. Stay safe out there, kids.

This week we’re dipping back into the book of Mormon for the first time in a while! We got a little bored with the Book of Alma, so we’re moving on to the Book of Helaman, where a real Game of Thrones situation unfolds recounting the power struggle for the Judgement Seat (which is an actual chair, btw). Take studious notes and enjoy the show!

This week, we’re keeping it light with some fascinating stories from around the globe, such as the Kenyan pastor who aired out his WhatsApp DMs with the Almighty! Then we’re sliding over to Reddit to check the pulse of the Christian dating scene, where there seems to be a lot of one-sided conviction about ordained soulmates. This episode was a lot of fun, so we hope you enjoy it!

Boy, the last two weeks have been insane on both a personal and a national level! So we’re discussing the details and implications of the latest Epstein files drop, and then taking a look at a scandal that is threatening the careers of several “trad” conservative grifters, as well as the voracious predator that stocks them day and night… Milo.

This week we’re excited to welcome back author, CPA, and bastion of positive vibes, our friend George Azar! George joins us to revisit one of our favorite news stories of the last year, that of Kendrick Oakley – pastor, candid photographer, and general pervert who was arrested after repeatedly taking upskirt photos of women in a Hobby Lobby in Tulsa. Then we’ll revisit our favorite subreddit, r/christiandatingadvice. George is a financial wizard and has started a new page dedicated to his CPA work. Follow him on Instagram (@georgethe.cpa) and check out his book My Gay Church Days!<

This week we’re taking a look at one of the most annoying “pick me” grifters I’ve found in a while: Melonie Mac. She got her start as a gaming streamer and got a little traction in the industry hosting for IGN, but sometime in the late 2010’s she made a hard shift into a red-pilled, antifeminist, Christian conservative and managed to get herself blackballed from that community. Since then, she has declined in viewership and relevance, desperately trying to stay visible on the internet with clickbait headlines, thirst traps, and of course mediocre Christian brainrot. There’s a lot to unp...

Hark the herald, Christian Nightmares is back! It’s been a few years since we last talked to the premier purveyor of Christian cringe, and does he have a treat for all of us… In this episode, we’ll be examining his list of the top 5 halleluiah hucksters of the year! There are a lot of familiar faces in the mix, but we sprinkle in a couple of oddities, too. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did, and if you’re interested in hearing more from Christian Nightmares, you can follow his Substack where he writes m...

Happy New Year, everyone, and what a lovely year it’s going to be! Peace, prosperity, goodwill to all, no blockbuster sequels, my cousin said they’re bringing back Rice Crispy Treat Cereal…. Surely this will be America’s best year yet! So to kick it off we’re going back to one of our favorite watering holes where all the freaks come to drink, and like a couple of hungry crocodiles, we’ve snatched a two christian studs from the bank. That’s right – it’s r/christiandating. We have a little contest to see who can dig up the biggest psy...

This week we’re diving into a multifaceted tunesmith known as Peyton Parrish! Peyton has had a diverse career, starting with his smash hit country album “Cowboy Man,” then making his bones in Viking cosplay folk metal, and finally arriving at the genre where he’s sure to make it big: Christian rock. Ol’ Peyton has ruffled a few feathers along the way what with his abrupt identity swaps, but he stands firm knowing that all those who oppose him are demonic. A man of resolve, a man of conviction, a man of John Cooper-esque talent, Peyton Parrish is sure to be...

This week we’re diving into a few different stories! We’re starting out with one of our favorite subreddits, r/christiandatingadvice. Then we discuss the arrest of a California pastor and recent Congressional candidate who was duped by a youtube predator catcher called “Big Bad Wolf.” Finally, we talk about an less-than-ambitious attempt to create a “straight, white only” conclave in the mountains of rural Arkansas called Return to the Land. This collection of weirdos have constructed a shanty town where you’re just as likely to contract a medieval ailment as grow a little corn and beans. Enjoy the show