Smersh Pod

Today we’ll be finding out if too much exorcise is bad for you, and how you should never drink when you’re riding a locust.

Yes, it’s Exorcist II: The Heretic.

Joining me for a day out at the Pazuzu is Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.

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Today we’ll be heading to Crystal Lake to find out just why you shouldn’t go into the woods when there are not one, but three dimensions of terror!

Yes, it’s Friday the 13th Part 3D

Joining me to find out why being a jerk is better than being a nothing is Tom Crowley.

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Welcome to another Halloween Special! Today we’ll be finding out if vampires hold a grudge after one hundred years, or if the stakes are just too low.

Yes, it’s Dracula AD 1972

And joining me to leave the party before the fuzz get there is Ashley Blaker.

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Today we’ll be talking about the ART of dreams. So fix yourself a NEAT drink as you get ROPED in to hear all about the GRAVEST nightmares that hopefully don’t SUCK.

Yes, it’s The Vault of Horror

Joining me to explain why she can’t do anything neatly is Anna Savory.

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Today we’ll be heading behind the walls of Racoon City to find out why in this world of adventures not everyone is so keen to ride the nemesis.

Yes, it’s Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

Joining me to throw a match at a gas leak that doesn’t work and just goes out, is Tom Neenan.

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Today we’ll be grabbing our binoculars, blessing our water, spying on the neighbours and hoping they don’t get too cross as we aim to find out what big stiffs they are keeping down in the dark. 

Yes it’s Fright Night

And as we’ll be talking about the biggest DILF vampire in cinema history, it’s only fitting that I’m joined by Dan Tetsell.

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This week we’ll be going behind the scenes in the music industry to take a warts-and-all look at the day in the life of a proper pop star. We’ll meet Tom, Harry, and everyone will sadly end up looking like a bit of a d*ck.

Yes, it’s Give My Regards to Broad Street

Joining me to try and earn a Big Bob is Simon Love.

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This week we’ll be heading back to old Detroit to fight crime and corporate meddling. We’ll find out that the kids are not alright and just what really happens when the police go on strike. Will it put noses out of joint? And if so who will picket? 

Yes it’s Robocop 2

Joining me to get Kane’d on Nuke is Paul Litchfield

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This week we’ll be going full Tonto, saddling up and heading back to the Old West to find out what happens when you have a dead crow in a silver mine, and end up with serious reservations about your mate’s new outfit. 

Yes it’s The Lone Ranger.

Joining me to pull a train on an old bird is Jack Bernhardt.

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This week we’ll be going in through the back door in order to keep you in the dark and set off your waterworks.

Yes, it’s DIE HARD 4.0, or LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, depending on your area. 

Joining me to be THAT GUY is Paul Gannon.

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This week we’ll be slicking back our hair, sewing ourselves into our trousers, and jumping behind the wheel of a massive car to head back to the happy days of 1958. A time when men and women could enter a school in their mid 30s and not worry about being confronted on Tik Tok by a nonce hunter.  

Yes, it’s Grease.

Joining me to make the chicks cream is Simon Love.

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This week we’ll be loading up on guns and bringing friends, in order to let off some steam and take part in the most extreme version of bring your daughter to work day. 

Yes, it’s Commando

And joining me to eat Green Berets for breakfast is Ashley Blaker and Steve Hall

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This week we’ll hanging ten and catching tubes in order to put away a man so evil and malevolent that he will put lives at risk merely for the promise of an endless summer, no, not Mike Love, I mean Bodhi, leader of the Ex-Presidents. 

Yes, it’s Point Break

Joining me to eat the ass end out of a dead rhino is Kate McCabe.

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This week we’ll be heading behind enemy lines to a future so dark and dystopian that a rich and powerful man doesn’t want to go on a pod.

Yes, it’s Escape from New York.

And joining me to Duke it out with a one-eyed Snake is Jim Maxwell.

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This week we’ll be joining the world on the brink of total flaming disaster and telling everyone it was hotter in 1976. 

Yes, it’s The Day the Earth Caught Fire

Joining me to get the warm willies on a ghost train is Toby Hadoke.

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This week we’ll be popping pills and collecting skills as we find out just what someone would do in order to have a haircut.

Yes, it’s Limitless

And joining me to use 24% of his brain is Dr. Dean Burnett. 

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This week we’ll be going back to 2002 and dialling up the web to go on the hunt for the best swinger, and find out just who has been leaving sticky white stuff everywhere. 

Yes, It’s Spider-Man

Joining me to mess with one and all of New York, is Tom Burgess. 

(From April 2025)

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This week we’ll get Ba-Ku to where we once belonged in order to find out just who has been giving Geordi 20/20 vision, Worf long pubes, Picard a baby face, and Riker the absolute bloody raging horn. 

Yes, it’s Star Trek: Insurrection

Joining me to pull faces is Paul Litchfield

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Welcome to another FAST SPECIAL.

This week we’ll be heading down to the sunny beaches of Rio to spend time with the family and maybe get a bit of Rock.  

Yes, it’s Fast Five.

Joining me to do some very safe driving is David Hoare.

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As part of a recent Snake Boys get-together, Tom Neenan and I had some time to sit down and chat about our thoughts on the new Christopher Nolan movie. We do drop a few spoilers along the way, to do ensure you've seen, or are at least familiar with the very old story.

Check out The Snake Boys Show here: https://www.youtube.com/@snakeboysshow

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This week we’ll be getting all Grubby as we put our long one in a hole in the wall and see what kind of Bliss we get when it comes out afterwards.

Yes, it’s Carry On Loving

And joining me to get a Gripper before we Plummet to new depths of depravity is Dan Thomas and Paul Litchfield.

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This time we’ll be looking behind our ear for the will to live, packing up our stinky old jacket and hat, and heading back to the old neighbourhood to be thoroughly miserable for 90 minutes. 

Yes, it’s Rocky V

And joining me to GO FOR IT is Paul Whitelaw

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This week we’ll be going back to the heady days of 2002. A more innocent time when you want a go on nemesis, nip out for a bite without getting cancelled, and Umbrella going viral was seen as a bad thing. 

Yes, it’s Resident Evil.

And joining me to ask ‘Who let the dogs out?’, is Tom Neenan

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This week we’ll be heading to Argo City to have a drink or two with Peter o Toole, and to find out if Superman’s cousin can save the day while he’s out. Yes, it’s Supergirl

Joining me to be bathed in soft focus and lighting, is Johnny Candon. 

*Recorded December 2022

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This week we’ll be looking at an X that only lives to suck energy, spew hate and pump out bad waves, no not the popular edge lord website, it’s merely an old science fiction film!

Yes, it’s X: The Unknown

And joining me to do what Noel Edmonds could never do, kill the Blob, is Toby Hadoke.

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This week we’ll be looking for Perfection as we sit down and watch a film that really grabbed our attention, and made the ground move beneath our feet. 

Yes, it’s Tremors.

Joining me to get our big worms out for the lads, is Tom Crowley and David Hoare.

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Dan Thomas and I are fans of Big Stevie Spielberg. We went to see this film. We weren't keen. We vent here.

WE SPOIL IT. SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN SWITCH OFF!!

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This week we’ll be stepping into the dark shadows of Gotham City in order to find out just what puts such a smile on the face of the citizens. Is it all that free money? Or something more sinister...

Yes, it’s BATMAN

And joining me to be of a mind to make some mooky, is Dan Thomas.

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This week we’ll be defying convention and going out of our way to look for the beauty hidden inside a person, while also proving they have guts, seeing the world through their eyes, and admiring their balls.

Yes, it’s Innerspace.

Joining me to spend an hour in Meg Ryan is Dr. Dean Burnett and Dan Thomas.

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This week we’ll packing our dressing up kit and make up box as we head to Mother Russia in order to stop a despot giving cold fusion the cold shoulder.

Yes, it’s The Saint.

Joining me to find out just how simple Simon really is, is Steve Hall.

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This week we’ll be heading to the island and going ape! In order to find out just what happens when capitalism gets in the way of innocent love between a giant and a tiny lady. 

Yes it’s King Kong

Joining me to wake up at the crack of Dwan is David. K Barnes. 

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This week we’ll be putting on the finest MOR known to man, brushing up on our white-guy karate, and taking out the trash in order to prove that a small town of nice murderers is better than one mean one.  

Yes, it’s Roadhouse.

Joining me to to be nice until it's time to not be nice is Kate McCabe

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This week we’ll be seeing red as we head back to the past in order to go to space and find out if a Mars a day keeps the sequels away.

Yes, it’s John Carter

And joining me to give us some right arm action is Jack Bernhardt. 

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This week we’ll be curtain twitching like there’s no tomorrow as we check out who’s just moved in next door, and sort of knock about for aimlessly for ninety minutes without really much happening - with hilarious consequences. 

Yes, it’s Neighbors!

Joining me to eat a baby's butt through a park bench, is Paul Whitelaw. 

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This week we’ll be heading to glorious Summerisle; a secluded paradise of rolling fields, welcoming harbours, and a thriving swinging culture that’s known to be fairly committed to making the ultimate sacrifice for its guests. 

Yes, it’s The Wicker Man.

Joining me to see how he likes them apples, is Martin Fitzgerald.

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This week we’ll be returning to Ye Olde Europe to find out who would Minder if Dracula killed their brother.

Yes, it’s Scars of Dracula. 

And joining me to go batty for lashes, is Ashley Blaker.

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The tagline reads: "It's been more than 200 years... The beginning has just started".

Whatever that means, it's time for the Monday Night Movie Club to get together and head into deep space to try and get blood from a clone.

Recorded Feb 23rd 2026.

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This week we’ll be getting seriously committed in order to solve a puzzle. Just what refreshes the parts you cannot reach? Who makes a suit that’s simply to die for? And who is playing with himself far too much?

Yes, it’s Asylum.

And joining me in the hope that she doesn’t lose her patients, is Anna Savory.

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To celebrate the birthday of Steven Seagal, John takes Dan and Dean for a choo-choo ride and discovers a whole casey of trouble. 

A Monday Night Movie Club episode from Feb 20, 2023.

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This week in a bit of Boon for the show, we’ll test-driving a new hog - but not just any hog, this ride is possessed by a bit of a speed demon. It eats protocol droids for breakfast, it doesn’t run on gas, and goes 0-60 on pure undiluted blood of former Grange Hill actors.

Yes, it’s I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle. 

And joining me to kick start this chat, is the one true Prince of Wales, Simon Love!

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