Parenting The Adlerian Way

Sophia Galano has been providing therapy to teens and their families since 2015. In this episode, we discussed her book “Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry”. Sophia helps unpack the Gen Z anxiety effect, and how parents can find the messy middle between supporting but not enabling their anxious teen. Sophia is a big believer in helping youth develop skills and abilities to manage their emotions and to discover and challenge their thinking traps. Check out the podcast to get more of her useful tools. 

You can find Sophia on soci...

We assume when our teens start dating, they are going to pick good partners and be in good relationships, but wow – sometimes that is not the case! In this eye-opening conversation with the leading research experts from the University of Calgary who have developed an education texting-based tool for parents, we talk about the definition of relationship violence, the role of parents as a protective factor and how their text-based app solved the hurdle of parents not feeling adequately prepared to have these conversations about healthy vs unhealthy relationships. 

You can find them here: 

In...

Marjie Longshore and Paige Trevor are seasoned parent educators. Part of their curriculum is teaching the importance of holding regular family meetings. They also recognize that while parents are keen on the idea of family meetings, they also tend to give up quickly on this importance practice, for a variety of reasons. With research into the problems of consistency and compliance, and the ingenuity to solve for it, Marjie created the Family Meeting Kit as well as an online community platform to help support parents. We discuss all the benefits she has to offer families with these new creations...

Ted Page is on a journey to discover how to be a wonderful grandparent and help his grandchildren become The New Greatest Generation. We discuss some of the insights he learned after interviewing grandfathers from diverse backgrounds – everyone from John Cleese and Tom Brokaw, to veterans, rabbis, Imams and grandpas across cultures and socio-economic backgrounds. He heard and recorded their stories, capturing and distilling their wisdom to convey what our children (and all of us!) can learn from.   

You can purchase Ted’s book, “Good Grandpa – Stories from The Heart of Grandfatherhood” here

Check out his...

Q1. 13yr old son doesn’t open up and share his feelings anymore.

Q2. Divorcing parents looking for best shared custody plan for kids. 

Q3. How to wean a 3yr old off his pacifier.  

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Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.

Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com 

Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and...

Master Celtic fiddler from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Natalie MacMaster, has received the Order of Canada and played with such greats as Yo-Yo Ma, Alison Krauss, The Boston Pops, The Chieftains and many more. Her rise to fame happened while she was navigating both a demanding career of a musician performing on the road and raising 7 children. If anyone knows about balance of career and family, it’s Natalie! Tune in to this episode as she shares her journey and how she manages to keep it all together! 

Purchase Natalie’s Book book: “I Have a Love St...

Amber Mac has been following the progress and proliferation of AI since it came onto the tech scene. Amber brings us up to speed on what AI is, the many places where you may not realize it is at work in the background, and how tech corporations are using our children as their test market for building algorithms. While there are many positives to AI that can benefit our children, Amber also offers advice about how parents can buffer the pull of our technology with "IRL" experiences and lobby for better government legislation that we're beginning to see in o...

Are you a perfectionist? Are you worried your child might be too? In this episode, I chat with two fellow Adlerian counsellors who have co-authored a book to help. We discussed the definition of perfectionism, why it originates, some of the various signs you might watch for, as well as the impacts perfectionism has. 

You can purchase their book, “Living Well With Perfectionism” here.

And, here’s where to follow them on their social sites.

Caroline Faifman:

www.thebaycounselinggroup.com

www.styleoflifecounseling.com

IG @styeofl...

Leslie and I discuss the new parenting challenge of how to best manage our children as AI becomes a part of everybody’s life – adults and children included. We discuss mitigating risk while helping our children get the benefits of AI. Leslie also discusses the dangerous downsides of AI companionships, AI and homework, as well as offering up some tools and strategies to help parents keep their kids safe online. 

Here are some links Leslie recommends parents check out: 

Your Healthy Tech Playbook/Blog

Digital Wellness Lab

Look for more info o...

Q1. 6yr old son enjoys showing others his strength and prowess but that can suddenly turn and look like aggression. 

Q2. Potty training a boy who refuses to poop in either diaper or potty and wants to touch his stool as he is passing it. 

Q3. My two children live in a trilingual home, and I want to ensure my ethnic language is taught to my children, but my eldest is giving me push back and refusing. 

Q4. 10yr old daughter has 50/50 time between divorced parents. Father’s ADHD and visio...

This is a must-listen episode if you are a working parent. I spoke with Bree Groff, the author of the book “Today Was Fun: A Book About Work (Seriously)”. Her mission is to illuminate the need for parents to model a positive attitude about being a working parent and the role work has in our life because our children are watching very closely. She reminds us that “when you overwork, your kids pay the price. It’s one thing for you to willingly overwork and pay the price yourself, it’s quite another to take the payments for it out of som...

This was a fascinating conversation with Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir whose TED talk, documentary and book have opened our eyes to a new concept of what intuition is, and how and why we need to plug into its potential. She shares her personal story of working at the UN after the war in Kosovo and the disconnection she felt along with her journey back to the Icelandic concept of Innseai. In this episode we discuss parenting with innsaei: intuitive listening, how to model emotional openness, the need to create space for stillness, foster creative freedom and connecting our kids and o...

Q1. Should my 18yr old son who is going into the trades and starting a paid 20mo apprenticeship be charged rent while living at home?

Q2.15 yr old boy with major truancy issues for the past three years. How do I handle?

Q3. Toddler who has experienced trauma has outbursts and bangs their head. 

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Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast.

Check out mor...

In this episode, I’m joined by John Bromley to explore how we can foster social awareness and generosity in our children through charitable giving.

We dive into the concept of a charitable allowance—a practical way to teach kids how to give with intention and empathy. John shares insights on how parents can equip children to become thoughtful givers by involving them in the giving process from an early age.

We also discuss:

Are you too kind? Are you a nice person who has trouble setting boundaries in your relationships, including with your children? If that is you, then check out this episode.  I interviewed Jennifer Febel who is the author of “How to Set Boundaries (without feeling like a d*ck)”. She and I talked about what a boundary actually is, and the hurdles we need to overcome in order to set and enforce them. Jennifer shares the beauty of their purpose as well as how to start by delving into your own self-discovery. 

You can find Jennifer’s book h...

Dr Twenge’s latest book is a must read for parents who are overwhelmed by managing their children’s tech. We discuss the research behind the 10 rules she outlines in her book, as well as how to address the likely pushback from your kids, and the pragmatic action steps for implementation. This book is just what every family needs. Dr Twenge also shares about the new digital landscape and the hurdles that she and other parents face in managing kids, and she also offers a clear path forward. Do not miss this episode! 

Dr Jean’s Twenge’...

Q1. Boy/girl twins placed in the same class and already bickering over what the teacher said, who’s following the teacher’s instructions better etc… 

Q2. Teen athlete is not eating breakfast or lunch, not enough water, and then throwing off the evening schedule by eating right after school. 

Q3. Child in daycare is potty trained, eats everything and very co-operative, but at home they have accidents, are a picky eater and won’t listen. 

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Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter

Do yo...

Jessica Holmes is an internationally recognized comedian who has opened for such big names as Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres and Jerry Seinfeld. Yet, she still struggled with depression. In this episode she courageously tells her story and shares how we can all be aware of the grips that depression can have and ways to cope and overcome it. An inspiring conversation!

www.Jessicaholmes.com 

IG @happyfunholmes

FB https://facebook.com/HappyFunHolmes 

LinkedIn: Jessica Holmes 

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Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way”...

Parenting infants is a high demand job, and the single most important thing new parents can do is to establish a deep emotional bond. In this episode Dr Joanna and I discuss how exactly to go about that, as well as the things that can get in the way. We talk about maternal mental health, father bonding, breast vs bottle, bed sharing and much more! 

To get a copy of her book: 

The Baby Bonding Book: Connecting With Your Newborn 

Listen to her podcast here: “Pediatrics on Call” 

Follow...

We often overlook the important transition from having been a student your whole life, to addressing the question of “what’s next?”. This is a time of self-discovery like never before. Hillary Spiritos joins me on the podcast to talk about this unique phase of life and her “Bat Outta Hell” coaching company with her model and method for helping this cohort challenge themselves to look deep and see if the choices they are making are from their authentic selves that is blossoming or are they still following the pressure of parents, peers, and society. A fascinating conversation!

Lear...

Q1. First grader doesn’t want to go to school or do homework.

Q2. Parents with three children - including one with gluten and sugar sensitivities and global developmental delay and ADHD – want to ensure they eat well and don’t develop a bad relationship with food. 

Q3. Should all kids be made to experience a consequence when only one child misbehaved?

Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter

Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@a...

I had a great discussion with world-leading expert and author, Jonathan Alderson, about autism, it’s changed definition, and rising occurrence rates. He emphasized the need for individual treatment plans that consider time and order and the importance of early intervention. I was shocked at the number of families on long wait lists for services. To solve this, he created The Thrive Guide, a digital platform where parents can do a child assessment to generate a customize plan for their child and begin helping right away. 

Check out the parent resources at: 

The Thrive Guid...

In this episode, Titania shares key insights from her latest book on how parents can keep their kids safe online without getting overwhelmed or feeling guilty. We discuss the importance of learning how to use your kids’ tech, why “delay is the way”, and how to ensure that we as parents don’t fall into the trap of 'NMK' (Not My Kid).

Follow Titania Jordan here: 

https://www.instagram.com/titaniajordan/  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZepYDQBoOjwXlKfkHU_9lA

https://www.facebook.com/titaniajordan/ 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/titaniajordan/

Re...

Q1. Nanny wants to respond properly to a 2yr old’s large emotional displays.

Q2. 7yr old still needs a parent laying down with her to fall asleep – and this can take hours!

Q3. 7yr old behaves at school but is kicking, hitting, swearing, and taunting brother at home.

Q4. How to teach my 5 1/2yr old to be more co-operative and less bossy. 

Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!

Do you have a pa...

Dr. Shonna Masse has been practicing dentistry for 27 years. She is a board-certified paediatric dentist and is the founder of The Children’s Dental Centre and The Orthodontic Dental Centre, in Toronto, Ontario. In this episode I learned the difference between pediatric and family dentistry.  The distinction is important, and her additional qualifications means she is armed with the best approaches for working with children. We talked about preparing for a child’s first appointment, how to handle resistance, weaning off pacifiers, the surprising worst foods for cavities, parent guilt and much more! 

Dr Shonna Masse’s practi...

Former pediatric occupational therapist Lisa Chan learned a great deal from her years working with children in schools, homes and in her office. During that time, she saw a gap in the services available. While she would offer important help to children, it was more likely the teachers and parents who were the “first responders”, and they did not always know how to respond to these children’s unique needs. Lisa solved that by turning her attention to education and skills training for the adults that nurture and support these children. 

You can follow Lisa Chan on all...

Q1. 4yr old insists that all the Easter candy is hers to eat. How to manage the deluge of sweets? 

Q2. Adult child moved back home but spends his day gaming. A tech agreement isn’t age appropriate now. What else can we do as parents? 

Q3. My daughter wants a pet but is irresponsible, so I have said no, and it’s now a fight.

Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the #1 parenting podcast in Canada!

Do you have a...

Kyla Fox is an eating disorder specialist, survivor and advocate who reframes the way that we think about, and treat, eating disorders. As someone who struggled with disordered eating during her teen years, Kyla experienced the large care gaps and fundamental flaws in the treatment and recovery approach that prevents patients from getting the help that they need. Listen in as we discuss what parents need to know to address this issue in their families.  

Checkout the services provided at the Kyla Fox Center 

IG: @kylafoxrecovery 

Twitter: @KylaFoxCentre

Do y...

It was wonderful to have Ned Johnson back on the podcast to talk about his new workbook for parents. This is a companion book to “The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives”. We discuss the importance of having control as a protective factor in preventing youth mental health challenges, especially with anxiety and depression.  

Here are links to Ned Johnson and William Stixrud’s other co-authored books: 

The Seven Principles for Raising Self-Driven Children – A Workbook 

The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of...

Q1. Anxious about letting my 12yr old daughter walk home from school alone.

Q2. Considerations for allowing 17 yr old daughter to go on a beach vacation without supervision? 

Q3. Helping a hurting 13yr old girl who told a boy she likes him and then all her friends turned on her. 

Q4. Small-for-his-age 8yr old might get hurt playing hockey. Should I encourage a different sport? 

If you have a question you’d like answered on a future podcast, email it to hello@alysonschafer.com 

It’s not every day that you get to interview the former editor of the New York Times parenting section! I have been following KJ Dell’Antonia since she managed Motherlode and it was great meeting her finally, and discussing her book, “How To Be a Happier Parent”. KJ generously provided some of the research and practical wisdom that every parent can benefit from if they want to be happier while they do the inevitable hard work of parenting. 

If you’d like to read one of KJ’s books, here are the links! 

How to Be a...

I met Nick Moon in Nepal on a recent service / trekking trip in support of the NGO “Empowering Nepali Girls”. Over our time together I learned about Nick’s childhood diagnosis of autism and how the education system failed him, how a special teacher finally understood him, and a mother who was also a counsellor advocated for him. He was a marine, a tradesman and now a counsellor in practice sharing his wisdom with clients. A gem of a person who shared his experience about living life with neurodiversity. An enlightening conversation!

You can get a copy o...

Q1. 12yr old girl who has become super-quiet. What to do?

Q2. My teen doesn’t want to join any clubs, do I force him? 

Q3. My son says he is trying to find a job, but not really. Do I cut off his allowance?

Q4. My kids leave their stuff laying around and I nag but they never pick it up.

Looking for more Adlerian wisdom? Check out The Daily Adler Newsletter

If you have a question you’d like answe...

In this episode, I talk with James Rilling, psychologist and author of “Father Nature: The Science of Paternal Potential”. Did you know that only five percent of mammals care for their young? Yup, and humans are one of the species that do! James explains the science behind testosterone, oxytocin and changes that occur for fathers. Plus, the importance of father caregiving and provisioning and the hidden benefits of rough play to teach emotional regulation and more! A fascinating conversation.

You can get a copy of James Rilling’s book here. 

Do you have a paren...

Rocky Garrison is one of our Adlerian greats. In this interview Rocky talks about the Individual Psychology model of human development including the development of a fictional final goal and how we develop beliefs about self, others, and the world to sustain this goal and the movement toward it. In this model of development, Rocky shares that the courage to meet the challenges of life constructively is developed primarily within the family constellation. 

If you have questions for Rocky, he can be reached at rockygarrison@gmail.com

Do you have a parenting question f...

Q1. Teen boy is shutting down outside interests and turning to tech but won’t open up about it.

Q2. 13yr old daughter won’t wear her orthodontic elastics and teeth are shifting now. 

Q3. Ways for 3 and 5 year olds to find their sense of power in pro-social ways (instead of power over others). 

Do you have a parenting question for me? Email them to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer on an upcoming Q&A podcast.

Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com to r...

Sarah Allen Benton has been a parent in recovery from alcoholism for more than 20 years. She is a counselling psychologist who specializes in addiction and recognizes how parents and their children can quietly but significantly be impacted by alcoholism. We discuss her “field guide to recovery” for parents that is based on a growth-focused lifestyle change, including emotional sobriety across the life span. 

Check out Sarah Benton’s book: Understanding The High-Functioning Alcoholic 

Have a look at her website too.

You can read Sarah’s column “The High Functioning Alcoholic” for Psychology Today here. <...

Q1. Teen boy makes the same unreasonable requests and then storms about, rude and angry. 

Q2. How to establish authority and connection when you are the less dominant parent in a traditional family where the dominant father works, and the less dominant mother stays home and does all the child care. 

Q3. How can I help my 10 and 13 year old boys get along peacefully? 

Q4. How to support a teen daughter who is getting excluded from her friends’ parties and sleepovers?

Do you have a parenting question for m...

Dr Funke Afolabi-Brown has dedicated her medical career to helping families function better and achieve more by improving their relationship to sleep. We discuss the importance of sleep and unique approaches to help with typical sleep challenges that parents face. 

Check out more about Dr Funke Afolabi-Brown’s book “Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physicians Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good”

Her clinical practice is The Restful Sleep Place and you can follow her on any of these social media platforms: 

Facebook

Instagram

LinkedIn<...

Yes! That is the title of the new book by Ruth Strunz, a welcome addition to the literature for clinicians, teachers (and parents) working with autistic / neurodiverse people. In this episode I talk to Ruth about the contents of her book and the unique approaches needed for creating a an atmosphere of calm to reduce dysregulation, masking, creating a therapeutic alliance in new ways, the role of belonging, social interest, encouragement and more. 

You can connect to Ruth at her website www.ruthstrunz.com (launching Nov 2024)

Purchase her book here

O...