Husband Material
So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode makes it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.
How Music Transforms Sexual Temptation
Have you ever been amazed by the power of music? In this episode, you'll learn five ways music can support you in overcoming sexual temptation—including one resource that turns anyone into a songwriter.
Songs mentioned on this episode:
The Lord Will Fight For You - https://youtu.be/TE_OlAxU_uc?si=iaKCsPNe0m3g3q-oConfession of Sin (low-quality recording) - https://suno.com/s/EJ0hCbjWjLn0Zr9RConfession of Sin (SUNO version) - https://suno.com/s/shdp2PL5TNKoNBCiHis Beloved Son - https://suno.com/s/hHAtdx9N961mvh9aT...
How To Help Teens Outgrow Porn (with Blake Brinkman)
How can we help teens start outgrowing porn and unwanted sexual behavior? Licensed counselor Blake Brinkman believes teens are NOT too young, too immature, or too unwilling to start healing. In this episode, you'll hear Blake's overview of the teen brain, why recovery must start "bottom-up" with safety rather than "top-down" with rules, how (not) to respond to teens struggling with porn, and why apologizing after mistakes creates deeper trust than attempting to parent perfectly.
Blake Brinkman is a mental health counselor, recovery coach, and co-host of the new podcast Start Younger: Outgrow Porn At Any Age.
Restored 2 More: How Couples Heal Together (with Clinton and Charity Muñoz)
What if couples devastated by sexual betrayal could heal together instead of separately? Clinton and Charity Muñoz expose a massive gap in traditional porn recovery's focus on sexual addiction for husbands and betrayal trauma for wives that leaves couples without guidance on how to actually restore their relationship in community.
In this episode, you'll hear:
The power of hearing other spouses' storiesHealthy boundaries to keep communication safeWhy you need to turn on your brain's "relational circuits"What it looks like to process your pain with JesusHow post-traumatic growth is a picture of the gospelCl...
Processing A Sexual Fantasy Through Inner Child Work: HMA Coaching Example
In this vulnerable demo, Jordan Castille guides Jason Mellard in processing a sexual fantasy through inner child work. As Jason listens to his body, he travels back to a pivotal memory of being violated and rejected by his father. With Jordan’s help, Jason offers love to "Little Jason” and leads him from a place of powerlessness to a place of grace, space, and unconditional belonging with Jesus.
***Trigger Warning*** The description of a sexual fantasy at the start of this episode may be triggering for some listeners. Even though no graphic details are shared, please use disc...
Is Your Accountability Group Healing or Harmful?
"Accountability" is one of the most controversial topics in porn recovery. Some men find it healing; some men find it harmful. What's the difference between healthy and unhealthy accountability?
Traditional accountability groups often get hijacked by fear, control, and shame—unintentionally incentivizing secrecy and acting like a prison rather than a path to freedom.
In this episode, Drew Boa argues that the secret to lasting transformation isn't a shift in theology or psychology, but a shift in posture. He introduces the concept of Attunement Groups—a curious, compassionate approach focused on meeting core attachment needs so y...
How To Heal Inner Conflict: The Table Exercise
Have you ever felt like there is a war raging inside of you between conflicting feelings or desires? If so, this episode will empower you to lead your thoughts, emotions, and sexual attractions with compassion rather than condemnation through an exercise called "the table." You'll learn why the table—not just the cross—is the ultimate symbol of grace, belonging, and transformation. Grounded in both Christian theology and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, this exercise shifts your internal posture from hostility to hospitality. It can be life-changing!
Keep in mind that most of this episode is a step...
God's Heart For Abuse Survivors (with Dr. Steve Tracy)
What does the Bible say about abuse? According to Dr. Steve Tracy, Scripture talks about abuse hundreds if not thousands of times. In this profound episode, you'll get a clear definition of abuse, how God responds to it, why all sin is not the same in its consequences, and how to guard against toxic misinterpretations of God's word.
Dr. Steve Tracy is the president and international director of Mending the Soul Ministries. Steve and his wife Celestia founded Mending the Soul in 2003 to create best practice Christian resources for understanding and responding to abuse. Steve earned his...
Sexual Attraction Fluidity Exploration (with Andrew Rodriguez)
What is sexual attraction fluidity exploration in therapy (SAFE-T)? Licensed professional counselor Andrew Rodriguez shares the history behind the sexual orientation paradigm and offers a powerful message of hope for men seeking alignment between their attractions and their values. You'll learn how Reintegrative Therapy uses modern attachment theory and trauma reprocessing to create significant shifts in unwanted sexual feelings and behaviors. Andrew also opens up about his personal story of childhood loneliness, performance-based faith, and finding his true identity in Christ.
Andrew Rodriguez, LPC, has a passion for helping people discover and live out their true identities. H...
How Movies Minimize Betrayal
Many movies minimize, justify, or even celebrate sexual betrayal. In this episode, you’ll discover 5 popular films that communicate toxic messages about deception and infidelity.
Related episodes for further listening:
How To Stop Hiding And LyingHow To Tell Her About The Porn: Full DisclosureWhen A Wife Discovers Her Husband’s PornHow Women Heal From Sexual Betrayal TraumaHealing For Sexually Betrayed MenSend us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Unhealthy Attachment vs. Healthy Brotherhood
Learn 8 differences between unhealthy attachment and healthy brotherhood:
How it beginsCore motivationEmotional toneBoundariesIdentity and inner stabilitySexual attraction dynamicsConflict and tensionGrowth trajectoryLonging for healthy brotherhood? Register for the next Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Thanks for listening!
Fourteen Ways To Live Like A Beloved Son
"You are God's beloved son. In you He is well-pleased!" This is a powerful truth for outgrowing porn. But while that identity sounds beautiful, it often leaves us asking: What do I actually do with that? What does it look like to live like a beloved son in everyday life?
This episode breaks down 14 practical, redemptive ways to step out of a performance-driven "slave" mindset and into the freedom of true sonship. If you're ready to heal the boy to free the man, this episode is your roadmap:
PLAYRESTRISKASKSHAREFEELLOVEHUGGIVERECEIVEPRAYTRUSTWAITBEResources mentioned in t...
How To Meet Your Unmet Needs (with Shawn Bonneteau)
What is your heart hungry for? How can you satisfy that hunger in a healthy way? Shawn Bonneteau unpacks how our thoughts and actions flow from the heart, a 5-second tool that can interrupt unwanted behavior, and how Christ transforms us without shame.
Shawn Bonneteau is a Christian sexual recovery coach who has spent 14 years inside addiction and 8 years guiding men out of it for a total of over 3,000 sessions. Shawn is the founder of Secret Habit, where he guides Christian men to break free from pornography and destructive sexual habits so they can live with integrity, co...
Try Softer, Not Harder (with Aundi Kolber)
Instead of trying harder, what would it look like to try softer? Author and counselor Aundi Kolber guides us into compassionate attention so that we can reconnect with our bodies, heal from trauma, and outgrow porn. You'll also hear how God relates to us in the middle of our mess with in-process miracles along the way.
Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC) and bestselling author of the critically acclaimed "Try Softer" as well as "Strong like Water." She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma-and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the i...
Dear Porn: A Breakup Letter
Hear a vulnerable, powerful breakup letter written to pornography.
If this resonates with you, write your own “dear porn” breakup letter and share it in the Husband Material Community, which you can join at husbandmaterial.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Thanks for listening!
Promised Land Sexuality (Sermon on Deuteronomy 11:10-12)
Discover the differences between "Egypt Sexuality" and "Promised Land Sexuality" based on insights from Deuteronomy 11:10-12. You'll be challenged to trust God with your life instead of trying to control your life.
This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, April 26, 2026 at the Husband Material Spring Retreat in Georgia. See upcoming retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Previous sermons from HM Retreats:
You Are Not Too Much (Mark 6:30-56)Excluded & Emasculated (Acts 8:26-40)David's Sexual Story (2 Samuel 11-12)The Beauty Of Brotherhood (Psalm 133)How Jesus Reverses The Curse (John 21)Send us a voicemail
How To Outgrow Porn Through IFS (with Patrick Cagle)
Have you ever felt curious or confused about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and how it can help you outgrow porn? Patrick Cagle offers the perfect introduction: the 3 types of parts within you, the 9 Cs of your authentic self, and the highly practical 6 Fs to connect with a part of you that feels activated, triggered, or sexually tempted.
Patrick Cagle is an IFS Level 2–trained therapist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) candidate, and a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). Based in Alabama, he serves as an associate-level counselor devoted to helping individuals find freedom from unwanted sexual be...
How To Stop Fighting Yourself (with Jenna Riemersma)
Are you tired of fighting a battle against yourself? Jenna Riemersma offers a remarkably powerful path to healing through the "Move Toward" approach, her simplified version of IFS (Internal Family Systems). You'll learn a practical three-step tool to transform unwanted behavior and outgrow porn through curiosity and compassion.
Jenna Riemersma, LPC, is a leading authority in integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) and betrayal trauma treatment. As a Certified IFS Therapist, IFS Clinical Consultant, IITAP teaching faculty, and CSAT Supervisor, she brings over a decade of specialized expertise to t...
Why Does Freedom From Porn Feel Impossible?
Learn the real reason why freedom from porn feels impossible with insights from one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption.
“Your brain doesn’t want new things. It wants old things that it already knows how to survive.” —Chase Hughes
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Thanks for listening!
How To Be A Great Husband & Father (with Dr. Joshua Straub)
How can I revive the soul of my family? Whether you're a father, a husband, or a man preparing for those roles, listen to this. Dr. Joshua Straub presents a powerful picture of what it looks like to become emotionally safe, build intimacy with your spouse, enter your child's world, and protect your family in the spiritual realm.
Joshua Straub is most renowned for his role as a husband and dad. A recovering human, he’s passionate about the ongoing journey of growth through coaching, community, and fitness. Alongside his wife, Christi, he leads Famous at Home, eq...
Healing For Sexually Betrayed Men (with Adam Nisenson)
How does being sexually betrayed affect men? Adam Nisenson explains the phenomenon of masculine betrayal trauma and what healing looks like.
Adam Nisenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). He is known as The Betrayal Shrink, a pioneering voice in men’s mental health, and the first professional to define and name the phenomenon of Masculine Betrayal Trauma.
Drawing from his own lived experience after his former spouse’s affair with her business partner over 12 years ago, Adam brings both personal understanding and clinical depth to every sess...
Curiosity, Childlike Wonder, and Awe (with Jason Mellard)
What if the very traits that got you hooked on porn—curiosity, childlike wonder, and awe—are actually keys to your freedom? As Jason Mellard explains, these qualities aren't bad; they are simply waiting to be reclaimed and redeemed. You'll learn about observation vs. obsession, building with vision vs. escaping into fantasy, and appreciating beauty vs. idolizing it...
Bonus: Stay tuned for a spontaneous musical moment where Jason inspires Drew to burst into song—belting out lyrics from The Greatest Showman and sharing how it shaped his imagination for Husband Material.
Jason Mellard is the...
Glimmers: The Opposite Of Triggers
What exactly is a glimmer? Why do glimmers matter for outgrowing porn? Learn 3 ways to get the most out of your glimmers—maximizing moments of joy, peace, and connection.
Related episodes:
Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer) Play, Awe, & Porn Addiction: A Polyvagal PerspectiveSend us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Thanks for listening!
Run Toward The Roar (with Davey Blackburn)
Where is God when we suffer? How does grief intensify sexual temptation? Why do we need to "run toward the roar" of triggers and traumas instead of avoiding them?
Hear Davey Blackburn tell the heartbreaking story of how his wife of 7 years was murdered in their home during a break-in, leaving him as a single father to their 15-month-old son. Davey also describes how God has begun to write a beautiful redemption story of healing, forgiveness, and purpose where "nothing is wasted."
Davey Blackburn (and his wife Kristi) founded Nothing is Wasted Ministries to help p...
Why Your Desires Matter (with Jay Stringer)
What if the desires you've been suppressing are not bad, but simply underdeveloped? In this episode, Jay Stringer explores five core longings that drive us—and why we need to welcome them rather than try to conquer them or shut them down. You'll hear how desire is shaped by childhood experiences, pornography, and other forces—as well as how desire can be reshaped and resurrected.
Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, researcher, and speaker who helps people uncover the unexpected meaning hidden in life’s hardest challenges. He is the award-winning author of Unwanted: How Sexual...
How To Take A Redemptive Risk (LIVE)
What is redemptive risk? Why is it essential for healing and outgrowing porn? In this episode, you'll learn why and how to embrace redemptive risk, the difference between dirty pain and clean pain, and three steps to consider as you discern your next redemptive risk:
Start with "why"Count the costOwn your strengthWhat redemptive risk(s) are you currently taking? Let us know in the Husband Material Community!
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Why Men Need Men (with Tom Zuniga)
Men need men. In this episode, Tom Zuniga champions the value of brotherhood and "chosen family"—especially in a culture where romantic marriage seems like the only place where intimacy is possible. Tom shares his story of growing up feeling lonely and different, experiencing same-sex attraction, and discovering the beauty of following Jesus in community with other men.
Tom Zuniga is the Director of Your Other Brothers, a community where Christian men are navigating matters of faith, sexuality, and masculinity. Together. Check out their blogs and podcasts, or explore their retreats and other community offerings at yourotherbrothers.or...
True Freedom From Porn (with Sathiya Sam)
In this episode, longtime friend of the podcast and author Sathiya Sam shares why porn recovery can literally save lives, what true freedom looks like (eternal, internal, and external) and practical advice on how to find purpose beyond porn.
Sathiya Sam, founder of Deep Clean Coaching, helps men overcome pornography addiction, inspired by his own 15-year journey. Author of The Last Relapse and host of The Man Within, he has guided thousands of men to freedom. Learn more at sathiyasam.com
To celebrate 10 years of freedom from porn and 1 million podcast downloads, Sathiya is hosting...
How To Prevent Relapse When You Flop
Do you know what it's like to feel numb, drained, and disconnected? This is the most common precursor to watching porn: the "flop" reaction. In this episode, you'll learn what the flop reaction is, why it's not necessarily bad, and three ways to navigate low-energy moments without crashing into a relapse.
Strategy #1: Flop with a purpose
Strategy #2: Flop with a friend
Strategy #3: Flop with your body
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Faithful Fitness (with Alex VanHouten)
How does physical fitness support sexual and spiritual health? In this episode, Alex VanHouten describes what it looks like to faithfully care for your body. You'll learn about the twin pitfalls of pride/envy and gluttony/sloth, how working out can help you process emotions and sexual urges, and what fitness is ultimately about: reclaiming the territory of your body for the kingdom of God.
Alex VanHouten is an exercise scientist, health coach, and the founder of Faithful Fitness. With over 20 years of experience in fitness coaching, he has empowered individuals to transform their health through intelligent...
In The Low: Navigating Depression (with Justin McRoberts and Scott Erickson)
If you're in a season of depression, darkness, or difficulty, please listen to this episode. Justin McRoberts and Scott Erickson offer deep wisdom on how to welcome all that is within you (yes, even that). This interview is punctuated by powerful poems and prayers for whatever "low" you might be going through.
Justin McRoberts is the author of 8 books, including In The Low: Honest Prayers For Dark Seasons. He lives in Martinez, CA and talks with his mom every day. Connect with Justin at justinmcroberts.com or on Instagram @justinmcroberts.
Scott Erickson is an artist...
All About HMA Triads (with Rich Savoy)
What are HMA Triads? What makes them different from accountability groups? Why is joining a small group essential for outgrowing porn? Rich Savoy explains everything you need to know about HMA Triads, what makes them different than porn accountability groups, and why you should consider joining one. Join HMA by January 18, 2026 at joinHMA.com.
Rich Savoy is HMA's Director Of Small Groups. He is also a board member of Husband Material Ministries and an international speaker on emotional intelligence with Global Leadership Partners. Contact Rich inside the Husband Material Community.
Send us a voicemail
<...How God Designed Your Brain To Heal Itself
God designed your brain to heal itself under the right conditions. How can we understand self-healing from a Christian perspective? What are the optimal conditions for self-healing? How can self-healing accelerate the process of outgrowing porn? In this episode, you'll not only get answers to these questions—you'll witness a powerful demonstration of Brainspotting with Drew Boa and Mike Chapman.
This episode was recorded at the 2026 Porn Free Man Conference sponsored by Husband Material Academy (HMA). Join HMA now at joinHMA.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
Experience Healing Through Brainspotting (with Dr. David Grand)
What is Brainspotting? How can it help men heal and outgrow porn? Find out from Dr. David Grand himself! In this episode, you'll learn how Brainspotting works, why it's unique, and how it accelerates recovery from porn/sex addiction.
David Grand, PhD is the developer of Brainspotting, the groundbreaking relational brain-body, mindfulness-based method. He is the author of Brainspotting: The Revolutionary New Therapy for Rapid and Effective Change and the co-author of This is Your Brain on Sports. Dr. Grand has been widely featured in the media, including The New York Times, NBC National News, The Discovery...
K-Pop Demon Hunters: A Story Of Hiding And Healing
What can the movie "K-Pop Demon Hunters" teach us about shame, hiding, and healing through vulnerability and connection? In this extended episode, Drew and his friend Andy offer an in-depth analysis of the film—addressing theological concerns, highlighting takeaways for sexual recovery, and tracing each character's redemptive journey. Enjoy!
Drew and Andy became friends at Wheaton College, serving together in college, church, and summer camp ministries. Andy has degrees in Christian theology and adventure-based experiential learning, and has been a participant and collaborator with Husband Material since 2023.
K-Pop Demon Hunters is available on Netflix. We re...
When A Leader Relapses (with Nate Larkin)
In this incredibly vulnerable episode, Nate Larkin tells the story of how he returned to lying, hiding, binge drinking, and destructive sexual behavior while leading a sexual recovery organization. You'll also hear Nate's wisdom on how to be vulnerable as a leader and the importance of telling the truth.
Nate Larkin is the founder of the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. Learn more at samsonsociety.com
Buy Nate's book: Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men To Authentic Brotherhood
Send us a...
Revealing The Future Of Husband Material Ministries
What’s next for Husband Material? In this episode, you’ll hear the exciting new vision for how we want to help the next generation of young men and couples change their brains, heal their hearts, and save their relationships.
Here’s how you can be part of it:
Pray: husbandmaterial.com/prayGive: husbandmaterial.com/giveSend us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
How Technology Can Help You Connect And Heal (with Chandler Rogers)
How can technology help you connect, heal, and outgrow porn? In this episode, Chandler Rogers tells his story of finding freedom through connection with others (even online) and shares what he has learned from overseeing hundreds of online groups. You'll find out what you're missing out on if you track your sobriety without tracking your recovery—and what healthy, shame-free accountability looks like.
Chandler Rogers is the CEO and co-founder of Relay, a group-based program to break free from the unhealthy system of addiction and find lasting freedom.
Join Relay at joinrelay.app (App)Listen to Be...The Villain, The Victim, and The Hero
How do you see yourself? Do you ever feel like a villain, like everything is your fault? Do you ever feel like a victim, overwhelmed and powerless to change your life? Do you ever feel like a hero, as if you have to succeed because the whole world is depending on you? Today, we’re talking about how to see yourself accurately and understand yourself better through three lenses: your villain story, your victim story, and your hero story. These categories are inspired by “The Karpman Drama Triangle” by Dr. Stephen B. Karpman. The original drama triangle describes common patter...
Arousal, Addiction, And Intimacy (with Chris Chandler and Andrew Engstrom)
What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!
Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men...
D.I.R.E.C.T. Psychodrama (with Dr. Doug Carpenter and Drew Boa)
In this episode, Doug and Drew explain their powerful, unique approach to psychodrama: DIRECT. You'll learn how this powerful modality can help you experience deeper healing and freedom from porn.
D.I.R.E.C.T. = Dynamic, Intuitive, Redemptive, Embodied, Communal Transformation.
Come experience D.I.R.E.C.T. at a Husband Material Healing Weekend! See all upcoming healing weekends and retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
