Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

2 hours of rants - recorded from a filthy motel room in Miami, Florida during an intermittend layover - about the route from Santa Cruz dela Sierra, Bolivia West into the dry Inter-Andean Valleys and up to the Altiplano, and the many plants encountered along the way :
Onoseris acerifolia,
Deuterocohnia meziana,
Neoraimondia herzogiana,
Schinus mollis,
Puya glomerata,
Schinopsis lorentzii,
Cereus hankeanus,
Harrisia tetracantha,
Blossfeldia liliputana,
Puya humilis,
Trichocereus tunariensis,
Trichocereus bridgesii,
Zanthoxylum coco,
Koeberlinia holacantha, and more.

Originally recorded June of 2026 in Los Angeles California.

In this episode we talk with Chuck Delwiche about the early evolution of land plants, photosynthetic bacteria, what Earth may have looked like 4 billion years ago, what some of the first land plants look like, why bioluminescent dinoflagellates (Pyrocystis) "light up", and the species of algae responsible for the reflecting pool disaster that nearly have the president an aneurysm over the summer. 

Chuck Delwiche is a professor of biology at University of Maryland who studies green algae, archaea, and the early evolution of plants.

Reflecting Pool Video 

https://youtu.be/z3rExfzXYSw?is=RRys648nw...

Laiken Jordahl is the national public lands advocate for the center for biological diversity. In this episode he tells us about the destruction of Big bend National Park for a pointless and unnecessary border wall and what efforts have been made to stop it.

Rants about Taos, Garden Design in the sba to j aisle, how to tell if a plant has massive tuberous roots, Peteria scoparia, a new species of Paronychia leucochthonicola, Texas Madrone in Denver, US intervention in Latin America, and more.

Ad-free episodes of the podcast are available on the crime pays but botany doesn't patreon. A reminder to any complaining jadrools : I don't choose the ads. Your own algorithm does. Thank your corporate overlords.

This episode contains rants about Tennessee Oak Savannas, suburban Chicago fire ecology, granite balds in South Carolina and Georgia, the close ties between shame, status and native plants in South Texas-Mexican American communities, a hopeful city council meeting about a native plant ordinance, and more.

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Rants about the Extinction of the Ft. Worth Prairie, the rediscovery of Dalea sabinalis, plants with huge taproots, dry limestone plants,  idiotic development, getting fleeced and ripped off in Costa Rica, fleabag motels, the Bowel Movement Supermarket, reminiscing about riding freight trains to Ft. Madison Iowa for the $5 cinema, and more

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

In this episode we rant about all night drives through the desert, meth-amphetamine and Del Taco Management, Phoenix Horticultural Atrocities, the "Kicked Outta Da Botanic Garden" Tour, plumbing leaks, Brad Lancaster's work in the Dunbar Spring Neighborhood of Tucson, and more.

(NSFW) Rants about Dr Phil, Fire Ecology, Carnivorous Plants, the Piedmont Forests of North Carolina, Sandhills, Coastal Plain Longleaf Pine Savannas and more...

All Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Carlos "Aztekium" Velasco is a biologist, educator, and naturalist in Nuevo León, Mexico who has been teaching and studying the region's botany for 30+ years. He has written a guidebook to the plants of Nuevo León and helped describe new species such as Astrophytum caput-medusae.

In this episode we talk about the endemic plants of the Sierra Madre, the habitat of Huasteca Canyon, the urban river known as Rio Santa Catarina and its potential as native plant habitat, Et...

Saumitra Kelkar is a biologist and public educator In Oakland, California. This episode we talk about getting kids into nature, Bay area plant habitats, human selection of native plants and native plant cultivars, remnant edible wild gardens created by indigenous people, human-plant mutualisms, illegal gardening and more.

Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

In this episode we talk about the dead fly fungus, fertilizing Trichocereus with piss, how to get a good compost heap running, the science of backyard microbes, human manure composting, cultivating oyster mushrooms, trying to find out what mycorrhizal fungus associates with Texas Madrones, and more.

Follow Damon Tighe on IG at @damontighe

Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Rants about Mexican Cops, finding Arroyo Sweetwood in the wild, refugial canyons of the Sierra Madre that feel like humid forests in Georgia, and more .

Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the patreon at ww.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesnt podcast are available on the Patreon at: 
www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Rants about the Philippines, street trees of Manila, the jade vine Stronglyodon macrobotrys, the parasitic plant genus Rafflesia and its host Tetrastigma (Vitaceae), understory forest palms, old world lineages of aroids, and more.

Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

In this episode we talk Philippines Botany with Jayson Mansibang and Johnny Altomonte from Philippine Taxonomic Initiative. We talk about biogeography, Nepenthes, diversity in the genus Ficus, Dacrydium,  Begonias, Dipterocarpaceae and the genus Shorea, describing new species, ultramafic areas of the Philippines, how a childhood filled with dinosaurs got us into botany, and more.

All episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available at www.patreon.com/Crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Rants about saving the Borderlands Caper Tree, salvaging star cactus from a housing development in South Texas, mowing (and "dethatching") dead turf grass, vandalizing Nandina domestica in private landscaping, and more.

Ad-free episodes of The Crime pays but Botany doesn't podcast can be listened to on the Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

All episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available - without obnoxious ads - on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/Crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

A conversation about California Native Plants with Jessie Dickson aka "Sacramento Food Forest" (he has no interest in permaculture). Jessie Dickson is responsible for stoking interest in native plants and ecosystems in quite a few thousand people who might not otherwise have any interest in it. In this episode we talk about fighting the Coyote Creek solar project, California redwoods, getting zoomers into botany, sobriety, the California deserts and much more.

All episodes of The Crime pays podcast are available ad free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Brad Lancaster is a guerilla tree-planter and rainwater harvester in Tucson who has been instrumental in changing the way that the city he lives in treats rainwater and street trees. He has helped covince the city of Tucson to update its own infrastructure so as to absorb - rather than waste - rainwater by using things like curb-cuts, street-side infiltration basins and native plants. In this conversation, we learn how cities in hot, arid climates can update infrastructure and use native plants to reduce flooding, keep the landscape cooler and provide a better overall quality of life for...

All episodes of The Crime pays podcast can be listened to ad-free on the patreon : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Ad-free episodes of the CPBBD podcast can be heard at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

In this episode we talk about South Texas Development, remnant thorn forests surrounded by McMansions, the Asphalt Heat Island, the South Texas Caper (Quadrella incana, Caper Family - Capparaceae, Mustard Order - Brassicales), grannies that hate street trees Crime Pays fan appreciation, Fighting City Hall for native scapes, general societal ignorance regarding the living world, Jack faking his own death in order to eat more hot dogs and more.

Ad-free episodes of the podcast can be enjoyed on the crime pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Opening song is about Jerry Falwell.

Rants about the plant life of the state of Hidalgo Mexico, including but not limited to Cephalocereus senilis, Fouquieria fasciculata, Fouquieria purpusii, Magnolia scheidiana, obsidian piles, and more. 

All episodes of The Crime Pace podcast are available for ad-free listening on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Mexico Plants Checklist : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1a5GcJ39ysO_n2XbsazLZeyF9H1wDi4Zx/view?usp=drivesdk

Diversidad Floristica Oaxaca : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-EXwZV3FOd5sahIE2wlnUmqN_JcLC4bB/view?usp=drivesdk

In this episode we rant about cacti that grow in ephemeral lagoons, 1500 year old Montezuma Cypresses, cryptic cacti that grow in salty mud basins, Mexican Jays dispersing weeping pinion pine seeds, a fern that grows out of marble, how the summer-wet/winter-dry habit affects some carnivorous plant forms, and more...

Reminder that episodes of this podcast are available ad-free on the Crime Pays Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast are available on the Patreon at
www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Rollie Williams is host of the youtube series "Climate Town". In this episode, we talk about "supplying demand" Capitalism, the Oil Lobby, why certain interests are just so dang good at propaganda, how the CEOs became the heroes and the scientists became the bad guys, palm oil plantations, ethanol, government-sponsored cheese caves and more.

Reed Booth and his assistant Hosh are killer bee exterminators based out of Bisbee, Arizona. In this episode we talk about the ferocity of the scutellata hybrid (aka "killer bees"), the fact that this hybrid doesn't occur in nature ANYWHERE, why most feral honeybee colonies end up being dominated or taken over by the scutellata hybrids, the reductions in native bee and plant biodiversity that the presence of both feral and domesticated honeybees results in, and why it may just not be a good idea to keep backyard honeybees anymore (at least in North America).

Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/Crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Krystle Hickman is a biologist, native bee researcher, and conservationist from Los Angeles, California and author of the book "The ABCs of California's Native Bees". In this 2-hour conversation we talk about how to identify bees to genus, different groups of native bees (IE longhorn bees, cactus bees, leaf cutter bees, sweat bees, Euglossine bees, and more), specialist relationships between native bees and native plants, how native bees could be utilized to pollinate human crops simply if farmers created hedgerows of native plants...

A 2 hour conversation with Alexis Nicole Nelson aka Black Forager about connecting with the living world, ethnobotany, lawn-killing, native plants, hopefulness and humility, using native plants for fibers, and a sh*t ton more.

Full episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast can be listened to ad-free on the Patreon at:
https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Cyrus Harp is an ethnobotanist, ethnobiologist and author based out of Cetral Texas. In this episode we talk about a number of different plant species, chipping chert, using Agave & Yucca for fiber, Agarita (Berberis trifoliolata) as dye, Mescal Beans and the history of pre-European human settlement and botany in Texas.

 Ethan Tapper is a forester, author and ecologist out of Vermont, USA. He advocates for a practice called "Ecological Forestry", as opposed to the short-term-gain/long-term-loss management style that has seemingly dominated the lumber industry for decades (centuries). He is the author of a book called "How to Love a Forest", released on Broadleaf Press in September 2024. In this conversation we talk about the Northeast Woodlands, how climate change is affecting tick populations, and how changing the focus from "how to extract as much as possible" to instead "how to steward a living machine (an ecosystem) for the s...

*Rants about the fire-dependent sand scrub of Central Florida, some of the rarest, most unique and underappreciated plants of the world. The plant community here occurs in nutrient-poor, fire dependent sands that were the beachfront 2 million years ago. These plants evolved in a region that gets upwards of 60 in of rain of year but has a pronounced dry season between November and May. 

Even more astonishing is that so many of these plants are under immediate threat of extinction due to fire suppression, land clearance and an orgy of development tied to political corruption and the coziness with w...

A live show originally recorded at The Hideout in Chicago on September 13th 2025. First 4 minutes got cut off accidentally by the sound guy, who otherwise did a great job (the sd card f*cked up, it wasn't his fault). On that note, I mistakenly refer to Artemisia ludoviciana when I meant Artemisia vulgaris. 

full episodes of this podcast are available ad free on the Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Rants about KILL YOUR LAWN tour in the Midwest, River Geography, Hemp Farms in Wisconsin, Prairies, Bison, upset affluent suburban ladies in St Paul, horticultural atrocities, Lincoln vs Omaha Nebraska, Feral Paht and more.

Thanks to the all the venues that put us up and thanks to everyone who came out for the shows/presentations in Milwaukee, St Paul, Omaha, Lincoln, Kansas City, Omaha, Lincoln and the Quad Cities.

As Always, Ad-Free Episodes of the podcast are available on the Patrol for 5 bucks a month at : https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Ad-Free episodes of the podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt

Why is there such a strong correlation between invasion biology denial, anthropocentrism, ecological illiteracy and permaculture? How can permaculture move forward while at the same time acknowledging the functionality of native plant ecosystems and why the designation of "native" is not some frivolous, arbitrary, or puritanical designation? In this 40 minute conversation between myself and Lilly Anderson-Messec we talk about what permaculture is, its focus on functionality (to humans) and why there tends to be such a predictable link between those who espouse staunch invasion biology denial and their holistic integrative biodynamic permaculture food forest.

In this episode (after a 30 minute societal rant) we talk about Dioon edule and cycads of the foothills of the Sierra Madre, why hemiparasitic members of the paintbrush family frequently have red leaves, Mexican Oak Diversity, Tillandsia usneoides in Oak woodlands, Calochortus marcellae, Malacomeles denticulata ecotypes, why Crotalus morulus (Tamaulipan Rock Rattlesnake) possibly one of the coolest members of the genus

Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available on the Patreon at : 
https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt


 FLORA OF NUEVO LEON CHECKLIST PDF : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ukTNSvThl65KUlKpm0wLzUTRklvZiBc_/view...

This episode is a conversation with Adam Haritan from the youtube channel Learn Your Land, which covres a diverse variety of topics related to the ecology of Eastern North American Forests - Fungi, Plants, Insects, & more. In this episode we talk about how fire suppression has caused an explosion in tick populations, along with a multitude of other factors. We also discuss medicinal mushrooms of Eastern North America, surviving stands of American Chestnuts, the importance of geology, and how Paw Paw trees might be neurotoxic. We also talk about how humans having a connection to (and knowledge of) the land t...

Ad-Free episodes of the CPBBD podcast are available on the patreon at 
https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

Today's episode consists of rants about compensation point, idiotic spelling mistakes, C3 and C4 photosynthesis, why nighttime temperatures prevent growing some plants in some areas, public land grab in Florida by sleazebag developers embedded in state government, Kill Your Lawn Tour 2025,  calcareous shale exposures of Pueblo County, Colorado.

Rants about Green Tea, Lactose Intolerance, mycoheterotrophic plants in New Mexico, Colorado Springs Shale Exposures, Native Plant Takeovers of municipal landscaping greenhouses, Rock Sage, 300 million year old limestone, and more.

Ad-Free Episodes of the podcast are available for 5 bucks a month on the patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

To pre-order the book Concrete Botany, visit https://geni.us/ConcreteBotany