UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Do you want to share your ideas more boldly, but find yourself holding back because you’re afraid of how people will react? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about becoming a more provocative thought leader in her business and what to do when fear of criticism gets in the way.

I share what this has looked like in my own business, from putting off topics I knew would push people’s buttons to working through the fear of backlash as I continue to grow. We talk about why you do not...

What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episode, I share a recent moment when I realized I was doing exactly this in my own life.

I discuss why your brain loves to confuse “this is true right now” with “this will always be true,” and how that keeps you stuck fighting rea...

Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach yourself around a circumstance that is actually a thought, and how getting clear on what is really happening is the first step to changing the way you feel.

Submit your own ques...

How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you.

In this episode, I explain why that entire framework is backwards and why the point of asking is not just getting the an...

Over five days, you’ll find out what’s keeping you from asking for what you want – and how to actually do it, even when your brain tries to stop you.

Live Challenge:

September 21-25, 2026 · 12 p.m. ET

Sign up for the Ask For What You Want Challenge here

Do you have to choose between staying home with your kids and contributing financially to your family? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about feeling torn between these two goals. We unpack why your brain may be creating a false conflict and how shifting your thinking can help you see more options for creating the life you actually want.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://sc...

So much of the self-help world teaches us that the solution to our problems is to become a better, more healed, more secure version of ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, to challenge that idea and talk about why self-worth starts with acknowledging who you actually are, not trying to erase the parts of yourself you do not like.

Dr. Franco and I talk about why insecurities are not proof that something is wrong with you, how striving to...

What if you were one big ask away from the change you need?

In one free hour, find the ask most worth making, assess exactly what’s blocking you, and learn what it takes to speak up anyway.

September 9, 2026 · 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. ET

Sign up for The One Big Ask Workshop here

Do you have an inner monologue that is constantly keeping score, reminding you what you accomplished, and trying to prove that you’re doing enough? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who has an inner monologue that tracks everything she accomplishes as a way to prove her worth. You’ll hear why trying to force your brain to be quiet usually backfires, and what to do instead when you catch yourself in these thought loops.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com...

What if you do know what you want, but you’ve just gotten really good at talking yourself out of it? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women feel disconnected from their own desires and why “I don’t know what I want” is often not the truth. I explain how we learn to prioritize what we should want, what will make other people happy, and what feels safe over what we actually desire.

You’ll learn why you don’t need a perfect reason or justification for wanting something, how to start...

Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear why the goal is not to eliminate sadness or anger, but to stop fighting the emotions that are keeping you stuck.

Submit your own qu...

Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way to speak up without either exploding or shutting down. You'll learn how to separate what you can control from what you cannot when you...

How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or continuing to fuel them with the same thoughts on repeat.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com...

What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities?

In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky, to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every ask like you're begging, and why there is more than one path to creating the life and career you want.

Get full show notes, trans...

Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a character flaw gives you the ability to actually grow.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain...

Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want.

This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or...

Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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You already suspect you hold back from asking for what you want or telling the truth about how you feel. But did you know that there are three main Speak Up Barriers that prevent women from getting what they want in life?

This free quiz shows you which one is causing you the most trouble, so you can finally ask for the raise, ask for the help, and have that conversation you’ve been rehearsing in the shower.

Take the free quiz here!

Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I...

Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is...

Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last.

You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become automatic, and why flexible, forgiving practice aligns with the way your brain actually learns. This Greatest Hits episode gives you a fresh approach to habit change that reduces shame, removes...

Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future epis...

It’s so easy to get burned out by the nonstop flood of political news, social pressure, work, and everything else we carry. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can choose how you engage, stay informed, and still be fully present in your own life without sacrificing your happiness, and my guest this week is a great example of doing just that.

I'm joined by Zerlina Maxwell, a SiriusXM radio host, author, and political analyst, to talk about reclaiming her time, attention, and happiness while staying engaged with American politics and media. We...

Do you notice old patterns creeping back in when you start dating someone new, even after making real progress on your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who finds herself feeling needy and seeking validation in new relationships. We unpack why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how understanding what’s going on in your thoughts can help you navigate these familiar patterns without judgment.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show note...

If you’ve ever answered “fine” when you weren’t really fine, this episode is for you. Saying “fine” may feel safe in the moment, but it trains your brain to ignore your desires, feelings, and needs, leaving you disconnected from yourself, burnt out, and frustrated.

In this episode, I explore why socialization and evolutionary wiring make women suppress anger, disappointment, and discomfort to avoid judgment, and why that tiny word hides so much more than you realize. You'll hear the two steps you can take today to start rewiring this pattern in your brain and rebuild...

Does receiving feedback make you spiral into shame, anxiety, or self-doubt? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who struggles to separate her self-worth from professional critique. You'll hear why those intense feelings are actually avoided emotions showing up, how your brain prioritizes short-term discomfort over thoughtful response, and why trying to get through the feelings quickly keeps you stuck.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/507<...

If you’ve ever eaten a sandwich when you really wanted dumplings, turned down help you needed, or stayed silent in a meeting because it felt safer to bite your tongue, listen in. Your brain focuses on the short-term pain of asking for what you want and the anxiety or shame that follows, but avoiding those feelings comes at a much bigger cost.

In this episode, I slow everything down and examine how a single choice, from the tiniest to the biggest, can ripple across your day, your relationships, and even your career. You'll learn wh...

Why do we wear makeup, and does it even matter? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about makeup and body image. I explain why wearing makeup is a personal choice and often a form of self-expression, not a reflection of whether you have done the inner work to love your body.

I also tackle a question about humility and how it can be useful in managing your mind. This episode shows how examining the thoughts behind your choices, about humility, appearance, and social expectations can shift your perspective and reduce unnecessary...

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Joy doesn’t always arrive when you expect it, and sometimes it shows up when life feels the hardest. In this episode, I talk about making space for joy with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, 5x bestselling author, and host of the podcast Everything Happens. We discuss why happiness is overhyped, how microjoys and unexpected moments can interrupt your day, and why cultural narratives often make women feel like they are failing if life isn’t constantly “good.”

This conversation is a reminder that joy is not something you can control or manufacture. It shows...

Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to a sibling and feeling stuck in resentment and rivalry? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why most of that tension is coming from your own thoughts and judgments, and how noticing those patterns can change the way you relate to your family.

I also answer a listener question about parenting a child with a chronic illness. Many parents feel anxious because they believe it is their job to control their child’s health. I break down why the anxiety comes not from the medical reality bu...

Whether you’re still deciding if coaching is the path for you – or wondering why your sessions don’t feel as powerful as you know they could – this one-hour masterclass gives you the clarity and tools to move forward.

JUNE 26, 2026

12 p.m. – 1p.m. ET

Click here to enroll: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/coach-curious-masterclass

When is the last time you actually asked for what you wanted when you were nervous? Not hinted, not hoped someone would notice, not talked yourself out of it. In this episode, I explore why women often suppress desires, needs, and wants in daily life, from small asks like an hour to yourself to bigger moments like negotiating at work or in relationships.

You'll hear why thoughts like "I shouldn’t need this" or "it won’t matter" stop you from asking, even when it’s possible to get what you want. I also explain how to...

Many people assume coaching is only for those who want to run a full-time coaching business, but coaching skills can actually be applied in almost any role. In this bonus episode, I explore three ways you can integrate coaching into other jobs. Whether you’re a manager, team leader, HR professional, or working for another coach, understanding the mental models that drive behavior can transform how you lead, influence, and support others.

Even if you never plan to coach professionally, this episode highlights the ways coaching changes how you show up in your own life. By...

Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool when it comes to changing how you think about your body. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about using intentional visual exposure on social media to improve body image. I explain why deliberately engaging with images that reflect diverse and relatable bodies can help retrain your brain’s perceptions, and why it is important to practice these thoughts in a variety of situations, not just while scrolling social media .

Then, I tackle what happens when a partner shuts down during an argument. You'll he...

Have you been wondering whether coaching could be a career path for you, or something you bring into the work you're already doing?

If you can't stop thinking about that, this episode is for you. What it means to be a coach today is far more varied and interesting than most people assume, and most of you are better suited for it than you realize. I explain who is well-suited for coaching, what it actually entails, and how it can fit into different professional and personal contexts.

I also address the...

Coach-Curious Prep School is a 5-day incubator where you'll learn if coaching is the right career for you, what you need to do to prepare for a successful coaching career, and the next steps to take to begin – or expand – your life as a coach.

It's happening June 22-26, 2026.

Click here to learn more and register: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/curious

Women often hold themselves back in ways they don’t even notice. This week, I explore the two biggest ways this happens: not asking for what you want and not telling the truth about how you feel. I break down how socialization and internalized beliefs train women to downplay their desires, soften their emotions, and edit themselves in real time, leaving them disconnected from what they actually want and who they really are.

You’ll hear why these two patterns show up across careers, relationships, and daily life, and how they subtly shape the decisions you...

Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear.

I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeking external validation. You'll hear why prioritizing other people’s needs over your own can feel like love and connection, but it actually undermines your authenticity, and how to...

Think about something you really wanted, something you worked for or waited for, or told yourself would finally change how you felt about your life. Maybe it was a job, a relationship, a business milestone, or a body you thought would make you feel confident.

And then you got it, and the feeling did not last.

That is the human void, and in this episode I explain what it is, why it shows up even after achievement, and how to relate to it without letting it control you. You'll learn why...