Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Does your teen have to like school? This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle a challenge lots of parents face this time of year: "I hate school!" They discuss when it's just normal back-to-school complaining...and when it's something parents should pay closer attention to.

You'll also hear why parents shouldn't rush in to fix every school problem, how to help teens take ownership instead of expecting mom and dad to solve it, and why changing schools isn't always the fresh start we think it will be. Plus, Cynthia shares the infamous (and traumatizing) story of her "1985"...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 222: Defiant or Dysregulated?

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Dr. Ken unpacks a word every parent has heard lately—dysregulation—and what it really looks like in teenagers. Spoiler: it’s not always as clinical or mysterious as it sounds. Sometimes it’s just what we used to call “spiraling” or “losing it.”

We talk about how to tell the difference between a teen who’s simply being disrespectful and one who’s truly overwhelmed by emotio...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 234: Does My Teen Really Need Counseling?

This week’s episode was important enough to re-record: when (and if) you should push your teen to go to therapy. Cynthia and Dr. Ken unpack what therapy actually is, why forcing a resistant teen rarely works, and the surprising ways counseling can sometimes do more harm than good.

Dr. Ken explains how to recognize when therapy becomes necessary, why parent coaching often helps more than sending a reluctant teenager, an...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 221: When Spouses Disagree on Planned Emancipation

This week Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss a challenge almost every parent faces—what to do when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye on planned emancipation. From different approaches to devices and curfews, it’s not always easy to stay on the same page while raising young adults.

We discuss why keeping your marriage first changes the conversation, how to navigate disagreements without turning them into power struggles, and what it looks...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 144: "You're Only Human" Part 2 Dr. Ken Interviews Dr. Kelly Kapic

Today we finish our great interview with Dr. Kelly Kapic, professor of theological studies at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia. His book, "You're Only Human: How Your Limits Reflect God's Design and Why That's Good News" is a breath of fresh air for Christian parents who constantly struggle with their own limitations as parents.

In this second part, Kelly talks about how personal limitations reflects...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 143: "You're Only Human" Dr. Ken Interviews Dr. Kelly Kapic

Most all parents constantly feel guilty that they're not doing enough for their kids. For Christian parents, does our faith make any difference when we suffer like this? Theology professor Kelly Kapic's most recent book, "You're Only Human" takes on this constant guilt and self-judgment. He reminds us that human limitations are not the same as sin.

As a college professor he has seen first hand how...

Your college kid is back home for the summer... and suddenly you're wondering whether they're still your child, a guest, or a roommate who leaves dishes in the sink. This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle one of the trickiest parenting transitions: when young adults return home after months of living life on their own. From curfews and chores to tracking apps and family vacations, they discuss why many of the rules that worked in high school don't work anymore.

They also dive into the harder stuff—what happens when your child comes home with different beliefs, di...

Fake Instagram accounts. Secret relationships. Hidden piercings. Skipped classes. Every parent eventually discovers something their teen didn't tell them—and it raises the question: Is this normal teenage behavior, or is there something deeper going on? In this episode, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss why teens become "sneaky" and how to tell the difference between healthy independence and behavior that deserves closer attention.

Together, they tackle everything from Finstas (fake Instagram accounts) and hidden relationships to bad grades, skipping school, tattoos, piercings, and phone privacy. Along the way, Dr. Ken explains why some sneaky behavior is actually a...

Parents today are raising kids in a world of sports betting apps, online casinos, fantasy leagues, and gambling opportunities that didn't exist a generation ago. In this episode of Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss the rise of teen gambling, why it's become so much more accessible, and how to know when it's simply part of the culture—or a risk worth paying attention to.

Dr. Ken explains the connection between gambling and the teenage brain, offers practical guidance on sports betting, fantasy football, casinos, and online gambling, and shares the warning si...

Anxiety seems to be everywhere these days, which leaves many parents wondering what's normal, what's not, and how much we should be worried about our kids—or ourselves. This week, Cynthia and Dr. Ken have an honest conversation about anxiety, anxious thinking, and why understanding the difference matters.

They discuss how worry can become a cycle we unintentionally reinforce, why overthinking often makes anxiety worse, and how helping teens recognize their thought patterns can be a powerful step toward change. Along the way, they tackle common misconceptions about anxiety, medication, and the temptation to protect our kids fr...

Summer is almost here, which means more time together—and more opportunities to wonder if your kids can actually hear you. This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss why parents often feel ignored, why repeating ourselves rarely helps, and how small changes in communication can make a big difference.

From forgotten chores and sibling drama to screens and everyday family frustrations, they explore practical ways to get your message across without turning every conversation into a lecture. Dr. Ken shares why staying calm is often more effective than raising the volume, and how consequences can give your wo...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle one of the trickiest parts of raising teenagers: what happens when the other parents in your world handle things very differently than you do. From phones and parties to dating rules, sleepovers, vaping, alcohol, and “everybody else is allowed,” they talk through how parents can stay consistent without trying to control every influence around their kids.

They discuss the tension that comes when your kid feels like everyone else has more freedom, why trying to micromanage your teenager’s environment usually backfires, and how parents can balance standing firm on important issues withou...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are talking all things summer — because somehow it’s already almost here, and if you have teenagers at home, now is the time to start thinking ahead. In this episode, they walk through a practical summer checklist for parents: screen time, jobs, sleep schedules, dating relationships, family vacations, summer reading, and how to keep teens from spending three straight months attached to a phone or gaming system.

Cynthia shares the story of the year she created an ambitious “Summer Bucket List” for her kids that completely fell apart within days, while Dr. Ken explains...

Happy Mother’s Day! 🌸🌸🌸

In this episode, Cynthia and Dr. Ken talk through some of the lies so many moms carry—especially when it comes to their teens. 

They unpack that nagging thought that if a teen is struggling, it must mean mom has failed, the pressure to hold everything together, and why a child pulling away might actually be a sign things are going more right than it feels.

Today’s show is an honest conversation around the exhaustion, the comparison, and that underlying fear that one misstep could ruin everything. But more than anythi...

Cynthia came into this conversation ready to defend self-esteem like it’s a parenting essential. Dr. Ken… not so much.

In this episode, they unpack what we actually mean when we talk about self-esteem in our adolescents—and why making it the ultimate goal might not work the way we think it does.

They get into why constantly telling kids they’re amazing doesn’t always lead to real confidence, what’s actually normal when your middle schooler suddenly feels insecure about everything, and how the very things we try to protect our kids from—failure, disap...

In today’s conversation, we address a topic no parent wants to face—but many find themselves navigating: What happens when things at home feel truly out of control?

We move beyond typical discipline struggles and talk about the moments when a teen may no longer be functioning within the basic boundaries needed to live safely and responsibly at home.

Dr. Ken outlines three key areas parents should pay close attention to—situations that may signal it’s time to step back and consider whether additional help is needed. We also...

INSERT NOTES

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here

You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here

You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! podcast@feedingthemouth.com 

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https...

Sleepovers: kids love them and parents have… feelings about them. Today Cynthia and Dr. Ken are talking specifically about sleepovers in the adolescent years—when it’s no longer just pizza and movies, but brings up real questions around values and supervision. Dr. Ken reminds us that sleepovers have changed. We can’t always assume shared values anymore, which means we have to be more intentional in how we approach them.

With younger kids, we try to control the environment. With teenagers, we prepare them to handle environments that won’t match our own. That means...

This episode tackles a question almost every parent of teens faces:

What do you do when you don’t agree with how your kids want to dress?

From short shorts to oversized hoodies (and everything in between), Cynthia and Dr. Ken walk through how to handle these moments without turning your home into a constant control battle.

Dr. Ken unpacks why these conflicts are often less about clothes and more about ownership and independence, and how to set boundaries early while clearly moving toward giving your teen more freedom. You’ll be encouraged to s...

Cynthia and Dr. Ken dive into one of the biggest parenting struggles right now—adolescents and their phones. From screen time issues to kids finding creative ways around the rules (hello, burner phones and smartwatches), it’s clear this isn’t going anywhere.

Dr. Ken reframes the whole conversation by reminding us this isn’t about controlling phones—it’s about raising young adults. That means setting clear limits (like when phones aren’t allowed), expecting pushback, and holding boundaries without being shocked when they try to get around them.

We also talk about what doesn’t work...

We’re back for week three of our marriage series, and Dr. Ken and Cynthia kick things off with some true-or-false questions that prove how much questionable marriage advice is out there. From “marriage should feel easy” to “never go to bed angry,” we sort through what actually holds up and what doesn’t.

From there, the conversation shifts to a bigger idea: maybe marriage isn’t mainly about being happy or compatible. Dr. Ken talks about how Scripture frames marriage as something that reflects Christ and the Church—which is a very different way to look at everyday frus...

This week, Cynthia and Dr. Ken continue their three-part series on marriage by unpacking some of the most common misunderstandings couples bring into relationships and what actually strengthens connection over time.

From questionable advice heard in church classes to the classic “never go to bed angry” rule, the conversation starts with a few laughs before getting into why so many couples feel disconnected even when they genuinely want the same thing.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Ken addresses the fears many couples bring into marriage. Wives often fear being alone or unseen, while husbands often fear they...

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Cynthia and Dr. Ken kick off a three-part series on Christian marriage.

They start off with a little humor (including Cynthia’s list of things husbands should probably never say if they want to stay married), but the conversation quickly turns to a bigger question: why does marriage sometimes bring out the most intense reactions in otherwise reasonable people?

From a Christian perspective, marriage is more than two individuals trying to get along. Scripture describes it as a unique kind of unity—two people becoming “one flesh...

In this episode, Dr. Ken and Cynthia dive into the topic of “affluenza” and the real pressure many parents feel to give their kids more—more opportunities, more experiences, and sometimes just… more stuff. They talk honestly about the tension between wanting to provide well and wondering if we’re accidentally creating unrealistic expectations or entitlement along the way.

From private school comparisons to lifestyle expectations and work ethic, the conversation explores how both wealth and worry about money can shape the way kids view gratitude, responsibility, and effort. Dr. Ken offers a thoughtful perspective on what actually b...

Today we take on apologizing to our kids—or what psychologists call “repair”—and why it feels so hard for many parents. Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss how older generations rarely apologized because authority was the priority, while modern parenting emphasizes connection. 

They unpack why some parents struggle to say “I’m sorry,” especially high-achieving or strong-willed parents, and Dr. Ken explains that healthy repair isn’t pretending your child did nothing wrong or giving half-apologies (“I’m sorry, but…”). Instead, it’s owning your reaction while still holding boundaries and consequences—modeling emotional regulation without acting like you and your teen are eq...

Today we take on apologizing to our kids—or what psychologists call “repair”—and why it feels so hard for many parents. Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss how older generations rarely apologized because authority was the priority, while modern parenting emphasizes connection. 

They unpack why some parents struggle to say “I’m sorry,” especially high-achieving or strong-willed parents, and Dr. Ken explains that healthy repair isn’t pretending your child did nothing wrong or giving half-apologies (“I’m sorry, but…”). Instead, it’s owning your reaction while still holding boundaries and consequences—modeling emotional regulation without acting like you and your teen are eq...

Is it normal for teenagers—especially seniors—to barely be home, seem disengaged, or act irritated when family time is required? In this episode, Cynthia and Dr. Ken respond to a listener question that captures a common and often heartbreaking parenting experience: watching a teen pull away while knowing it’s part of growing up.

They discuss healthy separation and individuation, why this stage can feel especially painful for mothers, and how a teen’s distance doesn’t predict the quality of your future relationship. Dr. Ken explains the importance of strengthening the marriage during this transition, communicat...

Is your teen being impulsive, oppositional, or something more concerning—and how can you tell the difference? In this episode, Dr. Ken breaks down three commonly misunderstood behavior patterns in adolescents: impulsivity, oppositional behavior, and conduct disorder.

He explains what impulsivity actually looks like in teens (and what it doesn’t), how oppositional behavior often shows up only around authority, and why conduct disorder is far less common—but important to recognize. You’ll learn how these behaviors differ, why the distinction matters, and how to balance empathy with accountability.

If you have a m...

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, we flip the script.

Instead of Cynthia asking the questions, Dr. Ken takes over—and interviews Cynthia on release day of her new book, How’d I Miss That? What follows is equal parts parenting wisdom, real-life chaos, and proof that even competent adults can forget to put the gas pump back.

Dr. Ken digs into why modern parents feel so much pressure to get everything right—and why most of what feels urgent probably isn’t. Cynthia shares the heart behind How’d I Miss That?: the...

In this episode, Cynthia and Dr. Ken respond to a listener question many parents are facing: how to handle nicotine use with adolescents. The situation raises important questions about legality, respect, boundaries, and how parental authority shifts as kids grow older.

Dr. Ken offers perspective on how nicotine use differs from alcohol and marijuana, why not all “bad choices” carry the same level of risk, and how parents can respond without overreacting or minimizing the issue. They discuss why consequences still matter, how those consequences should change as kids mature, and what it looks like...

This week’s episode was important enough to re-record: when (and if) you should push your teen to go to therapy. Cynthia and Dr. Ken unpack what therapy actually is, why forcing a resistant teen rarely works, and the surprising ways counseling can sometimes do more harm than good.

Dr. Ken explains how to recognize when therapy becomes necessary, why parent coaching often helps more than sending a reluctant teenager, and what to consider when choosing a counselor—including privacy boundaries, insurance realities, and whether your teen truly needs a Christian therapist.

They also address one...

This week, Cynthia and Dr. Ken talk about the flood of parenting advice online—reels, headlines, podcasts, and posts that claim to have “the secret” to raising great kids. Cynthia admits she often hears something, remembers it later, and never actually checks where it came from. Dr. Ken steps in to help parents think wisely about sources, research, and trends—especially when videos or articles lean heavily on “brain science” that doesn’t actually match the data.

Together, they look at a recent viral headline about teens’ brains “no longer listening” to parents and use it as a reminder...

Happy New Year and welcome to 2026! Cynthia and Dr. Ken kick off the year by ditching the pressure of New Year’s resolutions and instead encouraging parents to look at their parenting trajectory—if nothing changes, is that a good thing or not so much? 

Dr. Ken shares three foundational areas parents should revisit as the year begins—places that often create the most tension at home and the most confusion for parents trying to do the right thing. Along the way, they address control, conflict, and the emotional weight parents carry when things aren’t...

This week on the show, Cynthia and Dr. Ken dig into the age-old issue of entitlement—how it shows up in American culture and how it shapes our teens. They talk about the everyday behaviors that reveal deeper beliefs about self-respect, responsibility, and personal standards.

Dr. Ken explains why raising kids who expect rewards without effort creates long-term problems, especially when it comes to character, resilience, and financial responsibility. Together, he and Cynthia unpack how well-intentioned parents can unintentionally undermine gratitude by giving too much without teaching kids how to earn, wait, or steward what they’ve been...

This week on the show, Cynthia and Dr. Ken dive into the often-overlooked world of adult friendship—why it matters for your emotional health and your parenting. They unpack new research on the “friendship recession,” why adults have fewer close friends than ever, and how that loneliness also impacts our parenting. 

Dr. Ken explains why parents need real community as their teens grow up and leave home, why your marriage can’t be your only source of companionship, and why having your teen as your “best friend” can be a warning sign—not a win. They also tackle what hea...

This week on the show, Dr. Ken and Cynthia dig into listener questions. They start with digital monitoring: What do you do when Life360 tells you your teen is speeding or texting while driving? Dr. Ken breaks down when consequences help, when they don’t, and why too much monitoring can accidentally communicate, “Your life is still our life.”

Next up: a 21-year-old daughter who wants to stay at her boyfriend’s apartment when she comes home. Dr. Ken tackles how parents can hold to their moral convictions without assuming financial threats will change a child’s heart.

This week on the show, Cynthia and Dr. Ken dive into the wild, wonderful, and occasionally mind-numbing world of youth sports. Dr. Ken breaks down what’s really going on inside our teens—whether they’re thriving, quitting, or somewhere in between. He unpacks why control is the number-one issue in teen athletics, why even highly talented kids sometimes walk away from their sport, and how parents can set fair expectations without taking over their child’s identity.

There are also discussions on injuries, identity loss, parent pressure, car-ride conversations, and the subtle emotional pitfalls that come...

Today, Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about how AI is shaping the world our teens are growing up in. From homework help to “AI friends” and therapy bots, this technology is moving fast — and our kids are encountering it whether we feel ready or not.

Instead of panic or hard bans, Dr. Ken encourages thoughtful, ongoing conversations. We discuss how AI is affecting schools, what healthy use can look like, and why it's important to help teens think critically rather than rely on technology to think or feel for them.

We also address the emotional side...

Today we’re talking marriage with Dr. Ken Wilgus — not our marriages (although we detoured there), but our kids’ future ones. Dr. Ken discusses research that says we shouldn’t panic if our kids consider getting married younger than the cultural norm. Marriage isn't just a “capstone” once you're fully established — sometimes it’s a cornerstone that builds adulthood together.

We unpack cultural trends, fear-based parenting, and why avoiding the dating conversation doesn’t actually protect your teens. Dr. Ken challenges us to talk openly about marriage, consider how our own marriage baggage might influence our advice, and stop assuming...

From managing the influence of social media to knowing when (and how) to step in, this conversation reminds us that our role as parents isn’t to fix everything—it’s to stay present and connect with our kids often.

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here

You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear fro...