Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

There is a LOT of parenting advice out there right now—and not all of it is bad. The problem is what happens when we start piecing together a little calm parenting, a little connection parenting, a little neurodivergence content, and whatever else showed up in our feed that week.

Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about why parents need to understand the bigger philosophy behind the advice they’re taking in, especially when raising teens and young adults.

They also explain why the Feeding the Mouth approach works best when you stay consistent with it: your...

The recent case out of Cornell has brought up some really hard conversations for parents of teens and college students.

Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about whether parents should bring cases like this up with their kids, how much detail is appropriate, and how to talk about alcohol, consent, and safety without turning it into a giant lecture.

They also get into the importance of teaching our kids to step in when something isn’t right—even if it means calling an adult, upsetting a friend, or being the unpopular one in the room.

It...

Dr. Ken’s least favorite parenting word may officially be “dysregulated”—which is unfortunate, because that’s exactly what we’re talking about this week.

What happens when our teen gets worked up and we match their intensity? Or when one particular kid knows exactly how to push every button we have? Cynthia and Dr. Ken talk about anger, overreacting, emotional parenting, and how our own upbringing can shape the way we respond to our kids.

If you’ve ever walked away from an interaction with your teen thinking, “Well... I could have handled that better,” this ep...

Are you walking on eggshells around your teen? Lecturing when you meant to have a conversation? Reminding them of everything because you’re afraid they’ll drop the ball—or getting pulled too far into problems they need to learn to handle themselves? You’re not alone. Parenting teenagers has a funny way of bringing out communication habits we swore we’d never have.

This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia unpack four common communication pitfalls: the Path of Least Resistance Parent, the Parent Struggling to Stay in Their Lane, the TED Talk Parent, and the Reminder Machine.

If co...

How much freedom should parents actually give their teenagers?

Doing their own laundry. Choosing what they wear. Picking their friends. Dating someone you’re not crazy about. Spending their own money. And yes… even tattoos and piercings.

This week, Dr. Ken Wilgus and Cynthia Yanof are back for Part 2 of their conversation about reasonable expectations—and what it really looks like to “hand the bar over” as kids get older.

They cover laundry and appearance, tattoos and piercings, friendships and dating, money, and honesty—along with the bigger question underneath all of it: When should...

How much should parents actually expect from their teenagers?

Good grades. A clean room. Trying hard in sports. Going to church. Being grateful. Making good choices. And preferably doing all of it with a great attitude. 😂

This week, Dr. Ken Wilgus and Cynthia Yanof are talking about unrealistic expectations—and whether giving teens more independence means parents are somehow lowering the bar.

Spoiler alert: Dr. Ken says parents aren’t necessarily lowering the bar. They’re handing the bar over to their teen.

They cover grades, sports and activities, church and faith, an...

Meta is rolling out major new restrictions for users under 18 on Instagram and Facebook, and Dr. Ken was fired up enough about it that we interrupted our Parenting Pitfalls series to talk about it. After comparing our own slightly horrifying screen-time numbers, we dig into the new limits on usage, overnight access, notifications, like counts, age verification, filters, and parental supervision.

But the bigger question is what parents do with all of this. Dr. Ken explains why these changes give parents some much-needed backup when it comes to setting limits—and why they also create a great op...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are back with another Parenting Pitfall: are we too available for our teens? Being involved and willing to help feels like good parenting, but at some point, always being available can keep our kids from learning to handle things themselves.

From making appointments and managing schedules to stepping in with teachers, coaches, and even employers, Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about why parents need to become less available as their kids get older. They also dig into the harder question: do we keep doing too much because we still want to feel needed...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are tackling one of the easiest parenting traps to fall into: nagging. When does a helpful reminder become something that’s actually keeping our teens from taking responsibility for themselves?

They talk through chores, school, jobs, college applications, executive functioning struggles, and why sometimes the best thing we can do is stop being our kid’s personal reminder system. Plus, Dr. Ken explains why holding boundaries—even when your teen is mad about it—doesn’t damage the relationship. Turns out, they can be annoyed with us now and still want to come home when...

Does your teenager really need their own room? This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle a question that stirs up plenty of parent guilt: are we hurting our kids if they have to share a bedroom? Dr. Ken explains that while, in a perfect world, giving a teenager their own room can be a helpful way to communicate growing independence, it's far from a requirement for raising healthy, well-adjusted kids.

They discuss the surprising benefits of sharing a room, why parents shouldn't feel guilty if space is limited, and how to continue giving teens more freedom and...

Have kids always been picky eaters...or have we accidentally helped create them? This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about the fascinating book Picky: How American Children Became the Fussiest Eaters in History and what it says about why so many kids today struggle with food. But don't worry—this isn't an episode about feeling guilty over what happened when they were little. It's about what to do if your teen or young adult is still a picky eater.

You'll hear why it's time to stop being the family short-order cook, how getting teens involved in sh...

Does your teen have to like school? This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle a challenge lots of parents face this time of year: "I hate school!" They discuss when it's just normal back-to-school complaining...and when it's something parents should pay closer attention to.

You'll also hear why parents shouldn't rush in to fix every school problem, how to help teens take ownership instead of expecting mom and dad to solve it, and why changing schools isn't always the fresh start we think it will be. Plus, Cynthia shares the infamous (and traumatizing) story of her "1985"...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 222: Defiant or Dysregulated?

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Dr. Ken unpacks a word every parent has heard lately—dysregulation—and what it really looks like in teenagers. Spoiler: it’s not always as clinical or mysterious as it sounds. Sometimes it’s just what we used to call “spiraling” or “losing it.”

We talk about how to tell the difference between a teen who’s simply being disrespectful and one who’s truly overwhelmed by emotio...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 234: Does My Teen Really Need Counseling?

This week’s episode was important enough to re-record: when (and if) you should push your teen to go to therapy. Cynthia and Dr. Ken unpack what therapy actually is, why forcing a resistant teen rarely works, and the surprising ways counseling can sometimes do more harm than good.

Dr. Ken explains how to recognize when therapy becomes necessary, why parent coaching often helps more than sending a reluctant teenager, an...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 221: When Spouses Disagree on Planned Emancipation

This week Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss a challenge almost every parent faces—what to do when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye on planned emancipation. From different approaches to devices and curfews, it’s not always easy to stay on the same page while raising young adults.

We discuss why keeping your marriage first changes the conversation, how to navigate disagreements without turning them into power struggles, and what it looks...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 144: "You're Only Human" Part 2 Dr. Ken Interviews Dr. Kelly Kapic

Today we finish our great interview with Dr. Kelly Kapic, professor of theological studies at Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia. His book, "You're Only Human: How Your Limits Reflect God's Design and Why That's Good News" is a breath of fresh air for Christian parents who constantly struggle with their own limitations as parents.

In this second part, Kelly talks about how personal limitations reflects...

This July we are doing re-releases of our favorite episodes!

Episode 143: "You're Only Human" Dr. Ken Interviews Dr. Kelly Kapic

Most all parents constantly feel guilty that they're not doing enough for their kids. For Christian parents, does our faith make any difference when we suffer like this? Theology professor Kelly Kapic's most recent book, "You're Only Human" takes on this constant guilt and self-judgment. He reminds us that human limitations are not the same as sin.

As a college professor he has seen first hand how...

Your college kid is back home for the summer... and suddenly you're wondering whether they're still your child, a guest, or a roommate who leaves dishes in the sink. This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle one of the trickiest parenting transitions: when young adults return home after months of living life on their own. From curfews and chores to tracking apps and family vacations, they discuss why many of the rules that worked in high school don't work anymore.

They also dive into the harder stuff—what happens when your child comes home with different beliefs, di...

Fake Instagram accounts. Secret relationships. Hidden piercings. Skipped classes. Every parent eventually discovers something their teen didn't tell them—and it raises the question: Is this normal teenage behavior, or is there something deeper going on? In this episode, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss why teens become "sneaky" and how to tell the difference between healthy independence and behavior that deserves closer attention.

Together, they tackle everything from Finstas (fake Instagram accounts) and hidden relationships to bad grades, skipping school, tattoos, piercings, and phone privacy. Along the way, Dr. Ken explains why some sneaky behavior is actually a...

Parents today are raising kids in a world of sports betting apps, online casinos, fantasy leagues, and gambling opportunities that didn't exist a generation ago. In this episode of Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss the rise of teen gambling, why it's become so much more accessible, and how to know when it's simply part of the culture—or a risk worth paying attention to.

Dr. Ken explains the connection between gambling and the teenage brain, offers practical guidance on sports betting, fantasy football, casinos, and online gambling, and shares the warning si...

Anxiety seems to be everywhere these days, which leaves many parents wondering what's normal, what's not, and how much we should be worried about our kids—or ourselves. This week, Cynthia and Dr. Ken have an honest conversation about anxiety, anxious thinking, and why understanding the difference matters.

They discuss how worry can become a cycle we unintentionally reinforce, why overthinking often makes anxiety worse, and how helping teens recognize their thought patterns can be a powerful step toward change. Along the way, they tackle common misconceptions about anxiety, medication, and the temptation to protect our kids fr...

Summer is almost here, which means more time together—and more opportunities to wonder if your kids can actually hear you. This week, Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss why parents often feel ignored, why repeating ourselves rarely helps, and how small changes in communication can make a big difference.

From forgotten chores and sibling drama to screens and everyday family frustrations, they explore practical ways to get your message across without turning every conversation into a lecture. Dr. Ken shares why staying calm is often more effective than raising the volume, and how consequences can give your wo...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia tackle one of the trickiest parts of raising teenagers: what happens when the other parents in your world handle things very differently than you do. From phones and parties to dating rules, sleepovers, vaping, alcohol, and “everybody else is allowed,” they talk through how parents can stay consistent without trying to control every influence around their kids.

They discuss the tension that comes when your kid feels like everyone else has more freedom, why trying to micromanage your teenager’s environment usually backfires, and how parents can balance standing firm on important issues withou...

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are talking all things summer — because somehow it’s already almost here, and if you have teenagers at home, now is the time to start thinking ahead. In this episode, they walk through a practical summer checklist for parents: screen time, jobs, sleep schedules, dating relationships, family vacations, summer reading, and how to keep teens from spending three straight months attached to a phone or gaming system.

Cynthia shares the story of the year she created an ambitious “Summer Bucket List” for her kids that completely fell apart within days, while Dr. Ken explains...

Happy Mother’s Day! 🌸🌸🌸

In this episode, Cynthia and Dr. Ken talk through some of the lies so many moms carry—especially when it comes to their teens. 

They unpack that nagging thought that if a teen is struggling, it must mean mom has failed, the pressure to hold everything together, and why a child pulling away might actually be a sign things are going more right than it feels.

Today’s show is an honest conversation around the exhaustion, the comparison, and that underlying fear that one misstep could ruin everything. But more than anythi...

Cynthia came into this conversation ready to defend self-esteem like it’s a parenting essential. Dr. Ken… not so much.

In this episode, they unpack what we actually mean when we talk about self-esteem in our adolescents—and why making it the ultimate goal might not work the way we think it does.

They get into why constantly telling kids they’re amazing doesn’t always lead to real confidence, what’s actually normal when your middle schooler suddenly feels insecure about everything, and how the very things we try to protect our kids from—failure, disap...

In today’s conversation, we address a topic no parent wants to face—but many find themselves navigating: What happens when things at home feel truly out of control?

We move beyond typical discipline struggles and talk about the moments when a teen may no longer be functioning within the basic boundaries needed to live safely and responsibly at home.

Dr. Ken outlines three key areas parents should pay close attention to—situations that may signal it’s time to step back and consider whether additional help is needed. We also...

INSERT NOTES

If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. 

You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here

You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here

You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here

Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] 

Music provided by the great John David Kent - https...

Sleepovers: kids love them and parents have… feelings about them. Today Cynthia and Dr. Ken are talking specifically about sleepovers in the adolescent years—when it’s no longer just pizza and movies, but brings up real questions around values and supervision. Dr. Ken reminds us that sleepovers have changed. We can’t always assume shared values anymore, which means we have to be more intentional in how we approach them.

With younger kids, we try to control the environment. With teenagers, we prepare them to handle environments that won’t match our own. That means...

This episode tackles a question almost every parent of teens faces:

What do you do when you don’t agree with how your kids want to dress?

From short shorts to oversized hoodies (and everything in between), Cynthia and Dr. Ken walk through how to handle these moments without turning your home into a constant control battle.

Dr. Ken unpacks why these conflicts are often less about clothes and more about ownership and independence, and how to set boundaries early while clearly moving toward giving your teen more freedom. You’ll be encouraged to s...

Cynthia and Dr. Ken dive into one of the biggest parenting struggles right now—adolescents and their phones. From screen time issues to kids finding creative ways around the rules (hello, burner phones and smartwatches), it’s clear this isn’t going anywhere.

Dr. Ken reframes the whole conversation by reminding us this isn’t about controlling phones—it’s about raising young adults. That means setting clear limits (like when phones aren’t allowed), expecting pushback, and holding boundaries without being shocked when they try to get around them.

We also talk about what doesn’t work...

We’re back for week three of our marriage series, and Dr. Ken and Cynthia kick things off with some true-or-false questions that prove how much questionable marriage advice is out there. From “marriage should feel easy” to “never go to bed angry,” we sort through what actually holds up and what doesn’t.

From there, the conversation shifts to a bigger idea: maybe marriage isn’t mainly about being happy or compatible. Dr. Ken talks about how Scripture frames marriage as something that reflects Christ and the Church—which is a very different way to look at everyday frus...

This week, Cynthia and Dr. Ken continue their three-part series on marriage by unpacking some of the most common misunderstandings couples bring into relationships and what actually strengthens connection over time.

From questionable advice heard in church classes to the classic “never go to bed angry” rule, the conversation starts with a few laughs before getting into why so many couples feel disconnected even when they genuinely want the same thing.

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Ken addresses the fears many couples bring into marriage. Wives often fear being alone or unseen, while husbands often fear they...

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, Cynthia and Dr. Ken kick off a three-part series on Christian marriage.

They start off with a little humor (including Cynthia’s list of things husbands should probably never say if they want to stay married), but the conversation quickly turns to a bigger question: why does marriage sometimes bring out the most intense reactions in otherwise reasonable people?

From a Christian perspective, marriage is more than two individuals trying to get along. Scripture describes it as a unique kind of unity—two people becoming “one flesh...

In this episode, Dr. Ken and Cynthia dive into the topic of “affluenza” and the real pressure many parents feel to give their kids more—more opportunities, more experiences, and sometimes just… more stuff. They talk honestly about the tension between wanting to provide well and wondering if we’re accidentally creating unrealistic expectations or entitlement along the way.

From private school comparisons to lifestyle expectations and work ethic, the conversation explores how both wealth and worry about money can shape the way kids view gratitude, responsibility, and effort. Dr. Ken offers a thoughtful perspective on what actually b...

Today we take on apologizing to our kids—or what psychologists call “repair”—and why it feels so hard for many parents. Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss how older generations rarely apologized because authority was the priority, while modern parenting emphasizes connection. 

They unpack why some parents struggle to say “I’m sorry,” especially high-achieving or strong-willed parents, and Dr. Ken explains that healthy repair isn’t pretending your child did nothing wrong or giving half-apologies (“I’m sorry, but…”). Instead, it’s owning your reaction while still holding boundaries and consequences—modeling emotional regulation without acting like you and your teen are eq...

Today we take on apologizing to our kids—or what psychologists call “repair”—and why it feels so hard for many parents. Dr. Ken and Cynthia discuss how older generations rarely apologized because authority was the priority, while modern parenting emphasizes connection. 

They unpack why some parents struggle to say “I’m sorry,” especially high-achieving or strong-willed parents, and Dr. Ken explains that healthy repair isn’t pretending your child did nothing wrong or giving half-apologies (“I’m sorry, but…”). Instead, it’s owning your reaction while still holding boundaries and consequences—modeling emotional regulation without acting like you and your teen are eq...

Is it normal for teenagers—especially seniors—to barely be home, seem disengaged, or act irritated when family time is required? In this episode, Cynthia and Dr. Ken respond to a listener question that captures a common and often heartbreaking parenting experience: watching a teen pull away while knowing it’s part of growing up.

They discuss healthy separation and individuation, why this stage can feel especially painful for mothers, and how a teen’s distance doesn’t predict the quality of your future relationship. Dr. Ken explains the importance of strengthening the marriage during this transition, communicat...

Is your teen being impulsive, oppositional, or something more concerning—and how can you tell the difference? In this episode, Dr. Ken breaks down three commonly misunderstood behavior patterns in adolescents: impulsivity, oppositional behavior, and conduct disorder.

He explains what impulsivity actually looks like in teens (and what it doesn’t), how oppositional behavior often shows up only around authority, and why conduct disorder is far less common—but important to recognize. You’ll learn how these behaviors differ, why the distinction matters, and how to balance empathy with accountability.

If you have a m...

This week on Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, we flip the script.

Instead of Cynthia asking the questions, Dr. Ken takes over—and interviews Cynthia on release day of her new book, How’d I Miss That? What follows is equal parts parenting wisdom, real-life chaos, and proof that even competent adults can forget to put the gas pump back.

Dr. Ken digs into why modern parents feel so much pressure to get everything right—and why most of what feels urgent probably isn’t. Cynthia shares the heart behind How’d I Miss That?: the...