Adult Child

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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You finally go no contact after decades of abuse. Then one day the phone rings, and suddenly you're legally responsible for their entire life.

Katherine St Claire is a writer, abuse survivor, and cycle breaker who grew up in a home defined by violence, silence, and gaslighting. After four years of no contact, her father was arrested at 82 for trying to kill her mother, and within six hours she and her sister were his legal guardians.

Since then Katherine has become an advocate for adult children of dysfunctional families who end up responsible for the...

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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You feel like a fraud bracing for the moment everyone finally figures you out. And no amount of accomplishment or evidence ever changes that feeling that you're not who you say you are.

For those of us with complex trauma, the imposter syndrome doesn't just live in your head. It lives in your body and your nervous system. Today, we're diving deep into why you feel like such a fraud so you can stop mistaking that feeling for the truth about who you are.

✨ What this episode explores

Toxic Shame Fueled Imposter Syndrome — Why...

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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Somebody doesn't text you back and suddenly you feel like you're going to die. You're not being pathetic. You're in a flashback.

Welcome to the living hell of emotional flashbacks. Your reaction never matches the situation in front of you, and even when you know that in your head, it doesn't make you feel any better. This is the single most painful symptom of CPTSD.

Today I'm taking you all the way back, from the very first emotional flashback I ever had at nine years old to the most intense one of my entire life...

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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The Abandonment Trauma Queen is back on the pod, and today we're heading into uncharted territory: borderline vs. abandonment trauma. What truly separates the two, and why the BPD label gets handed out way too easily.

Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and a pioneer in the field of abandonment trauma, and she's spent the last three decades helping people heal. She's the author of The Abandonment Recovery Workbook (a book that truly changed my life) and Taming Your Outer Child. Having worked with thousands of people over the course of her career, she joins me to share...

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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The voice in your head won't shut up because if it did, you'd have to feel what's in your body.

Dr. Joe Flanders is a clinical psychologist based in Montreal who specializes in IFS, mindfulness, and psychedelic-assisted therapy. He's also the founder of Refuge, a community of practice built around experiential psychotherapy, and co-host of the podcast "Not Too Tight, Not Too Loose." But despite all his training and years of meditation, it was his own shortcomings as a father and desire to have a real relationship with his kids for the rest of his life that...

Mike's first Shitshow episode 👉 SHITSHOW SATURDAY #127

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Shitshow Saturday #127

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A death doula shares what really happens between a toxic parent and their child in the parent's final moments.

Kat Courtney is a death doula and plant medicine facilitator who has sat with dozens of people in their final moments. After a childhood spent people-pleasing a father who only wanted the happy version of her, a near-death experience in her early twenties, and years of using ayahuasca to finally face the family wounds she'd normalized her whole life, she learned that the things we run from don't disappear - they wait. This is a conversation about what...

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Everything you hate about yourself starts making sense the moment you realize you're not one person - you're a whole system trying to survive.

Britt Frank is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in trauma, trained in Internal Family Systems and Somatic Experiencing. She's the author of The Science of Stuck and Align Your Mind, which translate complex trauma and parts work into language people actually understand. Britt grew up in a covertly dysfunctional family, later found herself in a cult, survived addiction and domestic violence, and came out the other side not healed, but functional. In this episode...

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The thing you've been medicating is the same thing your parents shamed you for.

Kristen Carder is the host of the I Have ADHD podcast and a dually certified coach who's back on the pod today to take the ADHD and complex PTSD connection deeper — through the lens of your nervous system and what it actually needs to function. She talks openly about how medication wasn't fixing her, it was translating what her body had been trying to tell her all along, and how the shame she inherited about her own wiring became the hardest part to un...

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When your inner child says don't be selfish, your inner teen says we don't owe them shit, and your true self asks what we can live with.

Lisa D. Stinson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, former Navy psychologist, and trauma specialist with over twenty years treating survivors of narcissistic family systems. She grew up the family scapegoat to a narcissistic mother and an enabling father, left home at seventeen, and has spent her life since at a deliberate distance from the people who raised her. Her newly published book, The Obligation Myth, explores the question almost...

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Your childhood taught your body that love means waiting to be left. No amount of insight changes that.

Val Rubin is a trauma-informed somatic coach and host of the Anxiety Recovery Podcast who specializes in healing the fear of abandonment through the nervous system rather than the mind — and she's speaking from the inside out. For six years she lived with chronic pain that every doctor missed, until hypnotherapy resolved it in months and set her on a path that eventually ran straight through her own trauma bond. This conversation is about what it actually takes to ch...

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Waiting to be chosen is the slowest way to abandon yourself.

Joe Ryan is a trauma recovery coach and host of The Joe Ryan Podcast — and today, he's speaking from the other side of the most profound grief of his life. After losing his best friend to cancer and facing his own cancer scare six weeks later, he chose to sit in the pain for a year and a half instead of running from it — and what surfaced wasn't just the grief, it was every abandonment wound underneath, including the lifelong, exhausting pattern of waiting to be chos...

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What your partner does when you fall apart is what your relationship was actually built on.

Tarah and EJ Kerwin are licensed therapists, co-founders of Relationship Renovation Counseling in Tucson, and hosts of the Relationship Renovation podcast who teach what they’ve lived inside their own marriage. They met as colleagues at a treatment center, got married, had twins on their honeymoon, and spent the early years of a blended family forced to do the work they'd spent their careers teaching. But the real test came years later, when Tarah's repressed childhood trauma surfaced and they had to...

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Doing the work means you start picking healthier people. It doesn't mean stuff stops coming up when you do.

Patrick Teahan is a psychotherapist, childhood trauma educator, and YouTube creator. In today's conversation, he shares about how he kept trying to save his alcoholic mother through the women he dated, the relationship in his mid-twenties that surfaced wounds he thought he'd already healed, and what's still getting revealed inside his marriage decades later.

✨ What this episode explores

▪️ More Will Always Be Revealed — Why long-term relationships keep pulling up wounds you swore were worked through...

SHITSHOW SATURDAY #118 - Sam B.

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The voice beating you up, the shame absorbing it, the part that doesn't want you to feel it — that's the triangle you're trapped in.

Jessica Fern is a certified clinical trauma therapist, David Cooley is a restorative justice practitioner, and together they co-authored Polywise. In their most recent book, Transforming the Shame Triangle, they take Karpman's classic drama triangle and flip it inward to capture the inner dynamic that keeps trauma survivors stuck. Through a parts work lens, they show how to work with the inner critic, shame, and escaper to find true healing. 

✨ What this e...

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The most painful rock bottoms don't come from a relationship with a substance. They come from a relationship with a person.               

David Deane Haskel is an author of several fiction books, with his most recent being the memoir Wounded Angels. After losing his mother to suicide at the age of four, he spent the rest of his childhood navigating chaos at home and at school, while never feeling like he fit in. After finally finding sobriety, it was a codependent relationship that took him to new depths of pain and allowed him to embark on a journey to heal his unr...

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Your childhood taught you good things don't last. Your body still believes it.

Jeannine Rashidi is a TEDx speaker and bestselling author of Abundance Beyond Trauma —and her work on why we can't feel joy after a hard childhood is built on a story she lived first. With an ACE score of 10 out of 10, three marriages, and decades of confusing chaos for love, she eventually realized her nervous system had been waiting for the other shoe to drop her entire life. This is a conversation about what happens in the body when good things arrive, and why it...

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The moment you finally see a parent clearly is the moment the grief begins.

Taylor Pearl is a therapist specializing in complex trauma, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and survivors of narcissistic abuse. She grew up as the golden child to her brother's scapegoat in a controlling, image-obsessed home with a narcissistic father. This episode is about what the good daughter has to grieve when she finally stops playing the part: the father she thought she had, the role that kept her loved, and the self she's been rebuilding ever since.

✨ What this episode exp...

Jenny's first appearance on the pod - Shitshow Saturday #129

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Tammy Sollenberger is an IFS therapist and host of The One Inside podcast, and today she's not holding back. She shares about the sudden loss of her father and a devastating breakup — and how both pulled her back to a wound she's been carrying since before she was born: unwanted.

✨ What this episode explores

▪️Grieving a Parent You Had a Complicated Relationship With — What it's like to mourn someone who both loved you and failed you.

▪️Hiding Yourself to Keep Them — The many ways you disappear to stay in relationship, from losing your voice to hiding th...

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The parts of you that carry the most shame are the parts that most need to be seen.

Paul Gilmartin, host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour, is back on Adult Child for the third time, and this is the most vulnerable he's ever been. He shares the story of his recent relapse, how the covert incest he survived as a child shaped his sexuality in ways he's been ashamed of for most of his life, and what it took to finally get honest about all of it. This conversation is about what it takes to let...

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The moment you finally see yourself is the moment you no longer fear being seen.

Jesse Deal is a trauma recovery coach, parts work practitioner, and host of the podcast Trauma Unbound. After a lifetime of playing it small, he walked away from the life he'd been surviving in and started building the one he was actually meant for. This is a conversation about the fear of being seen, finding authenticity through parts work, and what happens when you stop waiting to have it all together and just go.

✨ What this episode explores:

▪️ Why Be...