Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Does your eggplant come with skin?

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Treat, don’t trick...

I wouldn't ask for underwear if I didn't need the underwear.

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A belly full of white dog turds.

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I hate when they put wang in my food.

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A stained crotch is not the experience we wanted for you.

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The Mona Lisa, a dildo, or a pug?

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Just a bunch of angry elves.

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R-r-r-r-remix

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Anything that contains and can contain is contained within the container.

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Even Kazoo people use toothpaste.

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Two people wanted to vomit and no one did.

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If they don't care about ducks, they don't care about you either.

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How do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet?

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A cucumber is not an avocado.

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Statistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener.

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This stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss.

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Nothing about carrots makes me think bougie

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Soggy White Bread was my nickname in high school.

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If they remove the froyo it'll make my life a living hell.

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Shakespeare coined that term hangy downy bits.

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Hyperspermia, which was new to me

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Get thee to a gnomery!

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Look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it.

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Debbie's getting off on this power trip… as she should

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Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring....

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Rumors have gotten started that I have irritable bowel syndrome.

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A world of regret awaits you at Mammoth Cave

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Sarah what the fuck is your problem?

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She could probably beat up some seven year olds and she could definitely beat up some zero year olds

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Aries are going through it right now

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It's the moon, but worse.

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I got humped in the face

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ASPCA...

The cookies didn't compensate for the abuse.

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You can't spell spent without repent!

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Don't worry, we fired Diane for that.

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We're going to Ibiza!

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Chef name was Edwin, very sensual and playful with his entertainment.

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I put a 2 million dollar puzzle together and all I got was this lousy QR code

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We told you not to put the egg topper in the dishwasher.

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Call the Locksmith!!!

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